nonsensical thread

[M.I.A.]

Things that have lead me astray from the path

I set out in about 2006 to learn more about religion and actually find a path to heaven, implying that i always believed in heaven and hell.
These are some of the things that i have pondered on, sometimes bringing me comfort and other times bringing me to the edge of breaking point.
Either way i am (so far) alive so there is still time to ponder.

I cant tell you the story of how i got here, too many days have gone by but here are some things (in no particular order) that i think about.

Alhamdulillah(probably spelt wrong):
I always say this, this word represents my current state. It is neither good nor bad i don’t even know what the actual meaning is but at very least it is a remembrance.
I know i should say this in victory or defeat, it is an acknowledgement of the absolute power of god and my submission to his will.
Every action has a cause and a reaction, one event leads to another and in this huge world i am content that any perceived hurt i may feel will lead to the greater good( and i am always deserving).
Also i say this every time i burp, i would say excuse me but the word is already on my tongue. Must seam terrible to those in close proximity lol.
So il tell you another thing, most of the things i have read are in English and for a long time i thought that knowledge is the source to the right path.
Some things that might need clarification,
God is the greatest.
I am absolutely convinced that those that hold themselves in esteem because of their wealth in knowledge, are those that would destroy us. It is easy to tell a knowledgable man from an illiterate, when you find an illiterate man who is knowledgable then you have found the starting point.
The hardest thing to maintain in this world is modesty, there a countless times a man can stand before many to correct someone. It is hardest to hold your tongue, now many of you would say it is your duty to correct the person. I am neither that arrogant to assume my own correctness or the correctness of a knowledge possess. To this end i am on the edge of an abyss.
I could spend all day just wasting time on this point but at the end of the day those that would put forward errors do so at there own expense and the expense of there own souls, just for writing this im probably ****ed. Lol the walking ****ed, that would make you humble.
Here i stopped and read over what iv just written, what a complete twat you couldn’t imagine how much i despise myself. Lol emo.

Anyway thats another point, its hard to judge a persons character but the best advise i can give you is look past the clothes, look past the accent, look past the inappropriate vocabulary. In fact look past the actions of a person. Not a good judge of character.

Ok just a brief point on my understanding of jihad, this would put me at odds with half the world but hey i already walk aloneI(no realy).
This stuggle is against yourself, firstly it is against yourself, unfortunately the world will not wait so you will fight on multiple fronts.
Do not transgress bounds, to this end you will suffer losses comparable to there’s. Wow thats a wakeup call putting myself at odds with the world. I guess if anything they’l take anything good they see from me and at most il take a beating.
Anyway you look at it god is the greatest and he is well aquanted with all that we do.
Fighting is a complex matter, hatred will lead you to places you don’t want to go. Keeping a clean intention is rediculosely hard but hey one day you’l look past it all.
I hit a punch bag for over a year now, a lot quicker than i was a lot faster than i was. So far i can walk with my hands in my pockets. A lot smarter than i was, lol so much for modesty.
Anyway its a stuggle and it never gets any easier.
I recon thats a good enough place to stop, bet youve had enough, those that haven’t punched the computer screen or rage quit. I know that its an idiotic rambling but i guess if anything il see what you lot say and hopefully never post again.

Thanks mods if this gets through, just a man on the edge.

[dovelove]

Hey MIA, that was a ramble alrite,

I am a tad- whoopsie now I hav read I shud reply and I didnt exactly get it sorry, you sound kind annoyed or not so cheery deary, no worries u maybe a man on edge, I was a woman on egde and now am a muslim hanging on, cos its true life is a jihad against ourselves against the things we see on tv, when we go out, when we go to work, when we are alone, when we hav company, when we online, its a jihad against dunya, pays off if we get to paradise. So it is very hard to be battling all day no break we gonna need some fuel, did u hav ur readybrek ;) we hav to do it, cos when we put our guard down gives bad a chance to bite us and try mess us up. We have to participate we got no choice, we know there is heaven and hell just upto us where do we wanna go.

Punch bag sounds good think it as shaytan and beat it soft, I am not sure if that is allowed but better than beating up people or yourself. When u feel to say ***** say flipping, or ooar or blumming or doodar or bobo or nono, cos these are better words, stil not so good, but safer. Cos I hear when we get angry shaytan starts messing with us to drive us away from Allah and continue being nawti, dont give him no room in your life.

Alhamdulilah, thats how I spell it too. But this is no Grammer forum lol, relax dont bother what we think, who are we, pls dont take this as a judgemental or mocking post, just wanna let you know your not alone, in a way we are but we are not cos we got Allah, but we are alone in a way cos we were born alone and die alone and some of us will live alone, come away from the edge and grab this rope I am holding there is room for us all.

Keeping a good intention, its kinda easy, I done bad things but I had a good intention to get to heaven, I dont intend to be mean but I may seem so, I dont mean to sound dumb but I may sound so, I think the intention is in our hearts and if we think like I am living for the sake of Allah to get to heaven and try do things to please him on the way then we cant ask for much more and I am not bothered how I am looked on by others cos I not out to seek their pleasure and when they make u feel hurt, it is kinda good cos inshAllah you will be compensated.

The people with knowledge, now thats a point it is it is, dont know what to say, read Quran, Tafseer, Sahih Bukhari Muslim sunnah, books, listen lectures find the scholars u can understand and relate to and stalk their work.

Its not idiotic rambling, just a ramble, anyways, just keep on pressing on cos I think it will get easier for you well I hope for all of us inshAllah. It is what it is and come away from the edge, did u ever hear about the people that stood on the egde of bridge and wanted to jump, then changed their mind but they slipped and fell before they got down to safety?

Chin up kidder, dont let things get you down, its not worth it in the long run.

May Allah protect you and make u have emaan of steel. Ameen
Cheerio

[alcurad]

sort of jumbled, but coherent, I believe I know what you mean..