were to find a wife?

[Alphadude]

:sl:
brothers and sisters

some of u may know my situation if not the i will tell u in short my mom died when i was a kid and then my dad got married so i have a step mom and she is not good with me so she wont look for a wife for me and i want to get married but i dont know what to do my life is a hell at home just want to get married and have my own life but as all of u know familys are important when getting married but what can i do when they dont do what suppose to be done ? i want to get married but im lost i dont know what to do and how can i do it on my own and find a wife and get married i mean were can a find a wife?:embarrass

[zakirs]

Could you elaborate bro ? '

how is your dad like , is he supportive ?

:salam

[Aliyah_86]

What about other family members like uncles, aunties, older cousins? Maybe you could enrol their support? Or practising friends? Have you thought about any of them helping you?

[cat eyes]

:sl:
brothers and sisters

some of u may know my situation if not the i will tell u in short my mom died when i was a kid and then my dad got married so i have a step mom and she is not good with me so she wont look for a wife for me and i want to get married but i dont know what to do my life is a hell at home just want to get married and have my own life but as all of u know familys are important when getting married but what can i do when they dont do what suppose to be done ? i want to get married but im lost i dont know what to do and how can i do it on my own and find a wife and get married i mean were can a find a wife?:embarrass

:sl:
I Feel like i wrote that post! i can understand how your feeling i lost my mum as a kid also:( only difference is my dad did not remarry just a girlfriend she is from the last 8years and shes no use to the family so she is not good with me either infact you can say she broke my family apart. she has never been any help to us and no support so ya u do have to go it alone in everything you will come across in your life :( i really dont know where you could find a wife maybe at your local mosque?

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[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

..just want to get married and have my own life

Do u have a good job and can live separately with your wife ( as atmosphere is not in favour at home ) ? As already suggested , u may talk to your local Imam , relatives , friends and others.

Also keep praying to Allah . InshaAllah you will be blessed with a pious wife at the correct time :statisfie

[Alphadude]

Could you elaborate bro ? '

how is your dad like , is he supportive ?

:salam

my dad isnt that good with me but he said he can do anything is my step mom wont do it bcoz on our cultur womens go and ask for some 1 hands for there sons but if i find some 1 then my dad maybe help out.

What about other family members like uncles, aunties, older cousins? Maybe you could enrol their support? Or practising friends? Have you thought about any of them helping you?

yes i have anutie but she is in holand far away and for cousins and uncle they just playing with me the truth to be told they say something but never does it they just kinda playing with my feelings so no they wont help

:sl:
I Feel like i wrote that post! i can understand how your feeling i lost my mum as a kid also:( only difference is my dad did not remarry just a girlfriend she is from the last 8years and shes no use to the family so she is not good with me either infact you can say she broke my family apart. she has never been any help to us and no support so ya u do have to go it alone in everything you will come across in your life :( i really dont know where you could find a wife maybe at your local mosque?

sorry to hear what you have been going on an ya maybe mosque but how i dont nothing about how it works?

:sl:



Do u have a good job and can live separately with your wife ( as atmosphere is not in favour at home ) ? As already suggested , u may talk to your local Imam , relatives , friends and others.

Also keep praying to Allah . InshaAllah you will be blessed with a pious wife at the correct time :statisfie

job is ok but not as ok ok but when i get married i will get a good job as right know i cant if u know my old story the u may understand:embarrass

[Aliyah_86]

Seeing as your dad isnt really going to help and nor are your other relatives I think the best thing would be for you to go and speak to your local Imam. I'm not sure how it all works either, but just go to him and tell him your situation i.e. you want to get married and you want to find a bride the halal way and I'm sure he'll be able to help you insh'Allah. Or he might know some people who could help you with your situation.

I pray that Allah makes this process easy for you and insh'Allah you will get a pious wife. Make dua bro.

[ژاله]

:sl: bro how about getting in touch wid some afghan people in your locality? do you know of any? it might be easier to go find someone from your own country.
may Allah provide for you, grant you a pious practising wife and a beautiful life Ameen.
i will pray for you inshaAllah.

[Cabdullahi]

I wish it was easy....where are they bloody hiding?

What we need to do is send a delegation of our biological sisters to infiltrate muslimah gatherings and meetings to scout potentials for us

[zakirs]

how i dont nothing about how it works?

Its simple bro , In muslim communities Imam is supposed to be the community link and sort of head.He mostly has information of who can help you with your problem.You just need to go to him talk to him and tell about your problem.I guess he would tell you what to do and may be provide you with some contacts.

[Alphadude]

:sl: bro how about getting in touch wid some afghan people in your locality? do you know of any? it might be easier to go find someone from your own country.
may Allah provide for you, grant you a pious practising wife and a beautiful life Ameen.
i will pray for you inshaAllah.

Thanks sis but i dont i want to get married with some 1 from same country sorry but its my decisions and i dont want that i want to get married to some 1 from deferent country :hmm:

Seeing as your dad isnt really going to help and nor are your other relatives I think the best thing would be for you to go and speak to your local Imam. I'm not sure how it all works either, but just go to him and tell him your situation i.e. you want to get married and you want to find a bride the halal way and I'm sure he'll be able to help you insh'Allah. Or he might know some people who could help you with your situation.

I pray that Allah makes this process easy for you and insh'Allah you will get a pious wife. Make dua bro.

ya i think that will be a goog idea but im kinda of a shy person lol dont know if i can do it:phew

Its simple bro , In muslim communities Imam is supposed to be the community link and sort of head.He mostly has information of who can help you with your problem.You just need to go to him talk to him and tell about your problem.I guess he would tell you what to do and may be provide you with some contacts.

yes bro as said above kinda of a shy person u know what i mean

[zakirs]

There is no need to be shy bro.I am shy like you.Infact i dont go to places with too many people.I am so shy that i am scared of talking to sisters who aren't my relatives.

But yet its your duty bro because some of the responsible people who should be doing this aren't.Now just put up a brave face and talk to him,He wont mind at all.


Common bro i know you are brave.. go go go!

[Aliyah_86]

Be brave Bro. I'm shy too, but there are some things in life that need to be done regardless of whether you are shy or confident and you just have to suck it up and do it. This situation being one of them!

Insha'Allah it all works out for you!!!

As the bro above said...Go go go!!!

[Rasema]

:sl:
Brother, that is a very difficult situation. I am nobody to give you an advice. However, I can tell you that it is all in the destiny. Allah decides it all. I'd say that you observe the commands of Allah, then I assure you that Allah will open dors for you. If you worship Allah in everything you do you will be too busy focusing on all the commands of Allah forgetting your difficulties. Then, you will be happy with yourself because Allah is happy with you.

Marrage is a solution but it can also turn out into a nightmare if things go wrong(not done in a halal way).Do you have a job? This question will be wrong: can you support your wife with your salary?

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Well my parents found mine, a road away :statisfie

Keep looking!!!

FiAmaaniAllah

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

.. when i get married i will get a good job

bro , I think u should wait for marriage till u get a good job ; else situation can become worsen. Keep fasting until Allah increases your rizk .

In my country , sometimes marriage proposals and giving consent to the proposals take place over phone. U don't have to go back to your home country for marriage . But let's pray that u become independent financially .

[Alphadude]

hmmm but in london u get a house from council and for for the job i know i can do it

[Rasema]

hmmm but in london u get a house from council and for for the job i know i can do it

:sl:
Can you tell us abit about the coucil?

Get a job first, then a house then a wifey.Trust me that is better.

[OurIslamic]

I'm already engaged :)

[Rasema]

I'm already engaged :)

:sl:
Best wishes brother.
:wa:

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

hmmm but in london u get a house from council and for for the job i know i can do it

U mean , as soon as u will get married , Council will give u a house ?? Are u sure of that ?

[Alphadude]

:sl:
Can you tell us abit about the coucil?

Get a job first, then a house then a wifey.Trust me that is better.

the council give u house if ur not working or working part time and money for food etc .

:sl:



U mean , as soon as u will get married , Council will give u a house ?? Are u sure of that ?

not as soon but if u find a place they will pay the rent

[cat eyes]

the council takes 3 or 4years they put you on a list fancy waiting that long for your lovely wife lol

[AnonymousPoster]

the council takes 3 or 4years they put you on a list fancy waiting that long for your lovely wife lol

So what's the. Solution then ?what should I do I realy want to get married:embarrass

[Alphadude]

Sorry i'm replying from my mobile by mistake posted as anonymous Internet is not working at the momment so can't use my laptop.
Who is the other anonymous replying it's not me:(

[OurIslamic]

:sl:
Best wishes brother.
:wa:

:sl:
Thank you very much :D
To you as well.

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

So what's the. Solution then ?what should I do I realy want to get married:embarrass

Prophet pbuh advised to keep fasting those who want to marry but can't afford it .

Try to find a job ; do some business , keep praying . InshaAllah bad days will be passed fast :statisfie

[Beardo]

I don't have any sisters. :hmm:

But if you go to your local Masjid, or perhaps friends.. Ask around! :D

What about your aunts? they say after your mom, the next person you can trust is your aunt. That was in a story from Hadhrat Jalaluddin Rumi. :X

[Alphadude]

I don't have any sisters. :hmm:

But if you go to your local Masjid, or perhaps friends.. Ask around! :D

What about your aunts? they say after your mom, the next person you can trust is your aunt. That was in a story from Hadhrat Jalaluddin Rumi. :X

Yes I have many aunts and I trust only one but she is in Netherlands she is like my mom after my mom she is the only one who grow us up till my dad got married again but she is not well she had a hearth Atack
some time ago but she is fine know allhamdullilah the thing is she does not want to make my father upset if she find a wife for me my father well get angry and my step mom won't do that and my dad can't do anything or won't let any one else do it and I'm stuck if I don't do anything my self no one else well and if I get married I will come out of the problems I'm having at home some of u know about it.

[zakirs]

I don't have any sisters.

But if you go to your local Masjid, or perhaps friends.. Ask around!

What about your aunts? they say after your mom, the next person you can trust is your aunt. That was in a story from Hadhrat Jalaluddin Rumi.
Yes I have many aunts and I trust only one but she is in Netherlands she is like my mom after my mom she is the only one who grow us up till my dad got married again but she is not well she had a hearth Atack
some time ago but she is fine know allhamdullilah the thing is she does not want to make my father upset if she find a wife for me my father well get angry and my step mom won't do that and my dad can't do anything or won't let any one else do it and I'm stuck if I don't do anything my self no one else well and if I get married I will come out of the problems I'm having at home some of u know about it.

Brother ..I suggested you get a job and then marry as many others said.I am sorry to hear about your aunt.Make sure you take super care of her.

[Alphadude]

Brother ..I suggested you get a job and then marry as many others said.I am sorry to hear about your aunt.Make sure you take super care of her.

but what if after getting married everything becomes good some say after every successful man there is a womens hand .

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

but what if after getting married everything becomes good .. .

If your step mom and dad don't want that u get married now , then surely they won't welcome your wife at thier home. As you are not legal yet in the country , possibly u can't find a good job and good home right now . So , be practical bro .

Have patience and keep fasting and praying .

[Alphadude]

:sl:



If your step mom and dad don't want that u get married now , then surely they won't welcome your wife at thier home. As you are not legal yet in the country , possibly u can't find a good job and good home right now . So , be practical bro .

Have patience and keep fasting and praying .

:wa:
i know sis but thats why i want to get married to get away from them and if i get married then i will get my visa iswell i didnt get married all this time bcoz i tought if i get married to some 1 they will think i marry them bcoz of visa lots of people do these kinda stuff but i cantimsad

[cat eyes]

:wa:
i know sis but thats why i want to get married to get away from them and if i get married then i will get my visa iswell i didnt get married all this time bcoz i tought if i get married to some 1 they will think i marry them bcoz of visa lots of people do these kinda stuff but i cantimsad

awww pet i know not everybody is like this. cheer up and don't think negative:) where are you living? so i take it ud leave the country but why?

[Alphadude]

awww pet i know not everybody is like this. cheer up and don't think negative:) where are you living? so i take it ud leave the country but why?

i live in london

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

..lots of people do these kinda stuff but i cantimsad

some have bad intentions like they get married just to get legal documents to stay in a country , then divorce wife. Surely it's bad. If u don't have any such intention , then may be u can marry a girl who is Brit citizen and can help u to stay there legally.


Offer Istekhara salat before getting married .

[Alphadude]

:sl:




some have bad intentions like they get married just to get legal documents to stay in a country , then divorce wife. Surely it's bad. If u don't have any such intention , then may be u can marry a girl who is Brit citizen and can help u to stay there legally.


Offer Istekhara salat before getting married .

ya i know but who will marry some 1 like me:embarrass there maybe few and dont know were to find some who can accept me for how im and understand my setuation.

[zakirs]

Brother ,

Thats the reason u need to get a job.Once you get a job you can marry easily.Without job finding a wife would be more difficult since her father would be apprehensive about how you would feed and take care of her.


Try some marriage agents or something , etc ? Did you try talking to imam ?

[Alphadude]

Brother ,

Thats the reason u need to get a job.Once you get a job you can marry easily.Without job finding a wife would be more difficult since her father would be apprehensive about how you would feed and take care of her.


Try some marriage agents or something , etc ? Did you try talking to imam ?

no brother as said b4 im kinda not kinda alot shy person:embarrass and i can manage it after i get married but when they give me work permit i will get a good job and they give u house if ur not working i know a person who did the same they council gave him a house after getting married .

[Afg]

:wa: Marriage is a blessing and if you feel like you need to get married, then may Allah help you. Since you stated that it's going to be hard because you don't have much support from your parents, but do you know anyone you would like to marry? Maybe someone in your work place or someone you met? If you know someone, then you just go and talk to your father. InshaAllah he will understand. Just tell him that you want to get married and tell him to whom. But if you don't know anyone, then still let him know that you want to get married and he can help you. Maybe marrying someone from your country will make things easier. You two will be able to understand one another better. But if you don't want to, then there is someone you know from your area? And don't worry akhi :) there is surely someone for you :) And ya the other suggestion talking to the Imam, don't be shy ;) InshaAllah he will help you.

[zakirs]

no brother as said b4 im kinda not kinda alot shy person:embarrass and i can manage it after i get married but when they give me work permit i will get a good job and they give u house if ur not working i know a person who did the same they council gave him a house after getting married .

Common bro don't be so shy .. You have to be a man.. stop being a boy :P .

you have to either decide if you want marriage or shyness :P

[Alphadude]

:wa: Marriage is a blessing and if you feel like you need to get married, then may Allah help you. Since you stated that it's going to be hard because you don't have much support from your parents, but do you know anyone you would like to marry? Maybe someone in your work place or someone you met? If you know someone, then you just go and talk to your father. InshaAllah he will understand. Just tell him that you want to get married and tell him to whom. But if you don't know anyone, then still let him know that you want to get married and he can help you. Maybe marrying someone from your country will make things easier. You two will be able to understand one another better. But if you don't want to, then there is someone you know from your area? And don't worry akhi :) there is surely someone for you :) And ya the other suggestion talking to the Imam, don't be shy ;) InshaAllah he will help you.

yes i can do that but as my father said he cant do anything unless my step mom do anything u know how it is in afghan comunity ur from there:p

Common bro don't be so shy .. You have to be a man.. stop being a boy :P .

you have to either decide if you want marriage or shyness :P

im shy and something else is stoping me is who will marry some 1 like me i mean in my setuation dont have a proper job no house thats why

[zakirs]

yes i can do that but as my father said he cant do anything unless my step mom do anything u know how it is in afghan comunity ur from there:p


im shy and something else is stoping me is who will marry some 1 like me i mean in my setuation dont have a proper job no house thats why

you need to do two tings simultaneously .. 1) try searching for some partime job or something 2) search for spouse

[Alphadude]

i have a part time job but its not legal

[zakirs]

:( ...dont you any othr way of applying for job visa :(

[Alphadude]

:( ...dont you any othr way of applying for job visa :(

none that i can see brotherimsad

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

none that i can see brotherimsad

When will you settled down here legally ? Without marriage , is that possible ?