Asalaamualykum Brother,
When someone is in this sort of situation it can be really hard to get out. I know its easily said than done but brother as a sister in Islam i would advise you to stay away form this girl no matter how much you love her.
Now bro, when you said La ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasool Allah did you really mean it? Do you really love Allah as much as you say you do? Do you REALLY love Muhammed saw? If you Loved Allah you would follow Muhammed saw and if you loved Muhammed saw you would listen to what he had to say...
I know the last thing you wanna hear is 'break up with this girl it is haram', and you may even ignore it if someone says it because you feel that giving up on her will make you cry day and night, you wont sleep and you may get ill etc...Now picture this, when you first met this girl remember where you were, who was around you how did you feel towards her and what did you both say to each other?
Now imagine your in the same place but instead Muhammed saw is by your side, would you still look at her the way you did? would u still talk to her the way you did?
If No then you wouldnt be in the situation you are in and it would have been better for you obviously. Brother repent to Allah, remember that Allah knows what is best for us and when Allah says that its haram to have such relationships then He means for the better. Remember that Allah knows his creation because HE created you, and who would know whats better for its creation better than the one that created it?
From your post its obvious you want to make a change so make a change, before its too late. Before you meet Allahh.
Brother the next life is much better than this life...don't waste your time, you know deep down whats the right thing.
A quote from the heart.....
The Creation falls in love with each other..finds their soulmate...and passes through life together...through the most happiest points in life, to the gloomiest points in life...
From the day we are born there is that space in our heart that is left empty just for that certain soulmate...to fill it with love for that special someone
But can it be that a person has filled that space with love for The Creator?
You will get over her just as a mother would get over the loss of her son or a daughter would get over and move on from the loss of her father.
Remember that this life is a test from Allah, so see this a test from Allah and pass it!!!
I know people around you (and me ) are doing these sort of things all the
time but that is because they have forgotten that Allah is watching them, the non believers around them have made us all think that this life is all about fun and we only live once so why not live life to the fullest..?
SubhanAllahh
It is possible to fill that empty space in your heart with the
love of Allah
and his
Beloved Messenger Rasool saw ?
I quoted this hadith in another post and now in this one because i feel most of us have forgotten that the love of Allah should be enough for us...
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him has said: Surely the most beloved of the creations to Allah, the Noble and Grand, is the youth who is young in age and who is a very handsome/beautiful individual however he places his youth and his beauty in Allah and in His obedience alone. This is the thing for which the Most Merciful [Al-Raḥmān] boasts to His Angels about and says,
This is truly my servant.
Imagine Allah saying this about you, how would you feel?
Brother most of us are born Muslims, and we are following the Kufar..? So basically we are going backwards instead of forwards while some non Muslims are turning to Allah.
Watch this till end inshaAllahh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjw3eojQC90
I would encourage you to read more about Jannah and realize this world is nothing compared to it.
Here are some links bro
Tour of Jannah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrspS1pgAOY
The Akhira
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3SZwQwsJVM
I hope you can make the right choice, and know that many other Muslims have been in the same situation as you and have chosen Allah rather this dunya.
May Allah guide you and show you to the right way Aameen.