Falling out of love.....

[AnonymousPoster]

I love a girl and she says that she loves me but whenever there's a fight, she just talks of breaking up with me and going off. I can't marry her right now because my parents won't let me and neither am I settled. I'm in University. I've tried everything to stay happy without but nothing worked. Without her in my life, everything is just an illusion.

There were 2 months in my life when I was completely away from her, not even seeing her face. even if she'd ever come in my way, I'd just stop going in that direction and go somewhere else. And I tried to be a good Muslim during those 2 months and I actually thought that I'm being one but later some of the verses of the Qur'an showed me that I had become a hypocrite. A Munafiq of a very different kind.

She was back in my life two months ago and everything was going fine but we had a fight yesterday and she left all alone again. I've tried everything I know to break out of her slavery but nothing helps. I've lost my health in it too. I'm very helpless, very sad, very hurt. She knows what I'll go through if she leaves me yet she keeps doing it over and over.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
it sounds like she is emotionally blackmailing you. just stand up for yourself, its the only way she'll learn...when she sees that you care about and respect yourself, she will too.
love is blind, but i refuse to believe that as i strongly believe that even when blind, we still know where to go. there has to be limits, there just has to be. yes, even in love.

if you cant get married, you should stay away from her for now... i find it odd how she threatens you, what is to guarantee that one day you wont return? i find that behavior too laid back for someone in love. she knows your weaknesses and targets them. odd :hmm: ...i was getting somewhere with this, but i forgot :(

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

.. later some of the verses of the Qur'an showed me that I had become a hypocrite. A Munafiq of a very different kind. .

before marriage , a Muslim man and a woman are not allowed to spend time together closely. When u stopped doing that , then after reading Quran u found that you are a munafiq ...how is that possible ? Can u post the verse here ?

as the sis pointed out , she is blackmailing u emotionally . It's good that she left u again. Now ask Allah to help u . Offer Istekhara salat about marrying her . If result is positive , then u can talk to ur parents . If marriage is impossible now , then keep fasting and wait for the rigth moment.

Fear Allah and don't continue the haram relationship.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

before marriage , a Muslim man and a woman are not allowed to spend time together closely. When u stopped doing that , then after reading Quran u found that you are a munafiq ...how is that possible ? Can u post the verse here ?

as the sis pointed out , she is blackmailing u emotionally . It's good that she left u again. Now ask Allah to help u . Offer Istekhara salat about marrying her . If result is positive , then u can talk to ur parents . If marriage is impossible now , then keep fasting and wait for the rigth moment.

Fear Allah and don't continue the haram relationship.

I don't remember the verse but it said something like when Allah blesses some people with something in this world, they start feeling special. They feel that Allah loves them more and they consider others below them. And when it comes to the hereafter, these people think that they'll be able to make it to heaven with some good deeds which they've committed. They actually become arrogant and don't realize it.

I've tried staying away from her but it has just made me worse. Since morning, I've been so upset. :cry: Why doesn't she care for my feelings?

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Snowflake]

I love a girl and she says that she loves me but whenever there's a fight, she just talks of breaking up with me and going off. I can't marry her right now because my parents won't let me and neither am I settled. I'm in University. I've tried everything to stay happy without but nothing worked. Without her in my life, everything is just an illusion.

There were 2 months in my life when I was completely away from her, not even seeing her face. even if she'd ever come in my way, I'd just stop going in that direction and go somewhere else. And I tried to be a good Muslim during those 2 months and I actually thought that I'm being one but later some of the verses of the Qur'an showed me that I had become a hypocrite. A Munafiq of a very different kind.

She was back in my life two months ago and everything was going fine but we had a fight yesterday and she left all alone again. I've tried everything I know to break out of her slavery but nothing helps. I've lost my health in it too. I'm very helpless, very sad, very hurt. She knows what I'll go through if she leaves me yet she keeps doing it over and over.

No, no, no! It's the love that is the illusion. You walked in a different direction for two months. But you turned back. The path you left might have been the one that took you closer to Allah. But your nafs lured you back to the duniya. The shaytaan took advanatge of your lack of knowledge and made you feel you were a hypocrite and then he struck you another blow by prompting you to leave what was best for you. You thought it's better to stop practicing than stop what you think is hypocritical of you. How clever the shaytaan must feel when he tricks us. We all have the ability to love. We create mental snapshots of love's images. And when we find someone with qualities we like, we project those images onto him/her. We try to give that love a body/substance. And hope for it to turn into reality. And as you found out, the transfer is out of place. The transparent image on your mind does not fit perfectly onto the real person you found. But if that love had come after knowing that person and living life's experiences with them then the love born would have been created to fit the real person. And that is love after marriage. Anything before is an illusion based on what you want - not what is real.


But even though love after marriage is based on reality, it is only real as long as the conditions that sustains it are to your expectations. If the person you grew to love changes, depending on how accpeting you are, your love for them could change too. So nothing. No love is pure and real like the love for Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Allah's love is the only love in which holds no fear. Loving man comes with fear of betrayal, pain and rejection. But love for Allah is free from all that. Does it then, for a few days of temporary life, befit a muslim to love someone else to the extent they they think their life is nothing without 'that' person when Allah loves more than 70 mothers? None is more worthy of love than Allah. It's just Allah, Allah, Allah.




:cry:

:wa:

[AnonymousPoster]

^^^^ I didn't give up practising Islam. I just realized that I was following it in not the right way. I wish I remembered those verses because when I read them, I could complete identify with those Hypocrites. I still practice Islam.

[Snowflake]

^:sl: Sorry I should've been clearer. I meant you stopped 'practicing' as in keeping away from what was impermissable.

[AnonymousPoster]

i've got these 2 frends that im really close to we used to do everyfing together one is a non muslim and the other is a muslim but not practising. But i've been practisin for nearly a year now and i just started wearing a hijab and abaya for like 3 months but i can tell my friends dont really like me like this, especially the non muslim friend we hardly speak to each other as we both have different lives and when they ask for me to come out i say no as were going to end up doing haram so im tyna keep away, however my muslim friend the one that isnt really practising she's my closest friend im trying to get her more into the deen but she havin none of it so im tryna keep away from her but i actually dont know what to do because i love her for the sake of allah and as a friend im trying to help her.
:wa:

[Snowflake]

How did these two threads get merged? :?

[Sampharo]

^^^^ I didn't give up practising Islam. I just realized that I was following it in not the right way. I wish I remembered those verses because when I read them, I could complete identify with those Hypocrites. I still practice Islam.

Brother, the very definition of a Munafiq in Islam is someone who is deliberately trying to fool everyone around them into thinking they are pious muslims while in secret or privacy not only commit all sins, but bash Islam and muslims and do not believe there is a judgement day. Just maintaining an outer shell in order to keep the allegience and benefits with the muslims while not believing the beliefs of muslims. You cannot possibly say you are trying to be a good muslim and then "discovered" that you are a munafiq. You must have misunderstood something brother.

By spending 2 months as a better muslim and being away from her you elevated yourself over the headache and also gained some good rewards insha Allah. Sounds to me though the girl is an emotional abuser. You should not ever let someone like that into your life, brother, it sucks the joy out of it.

Think of her like a cigarette: the only reason you feel bad when she's not around, is because you let her close in the first place. So when you feel bad, it's not because she's not around, it's because she WAS before (Many people quit smoking when they shift their perception like that :statisfie). Another way is to think of her as a hair removal strip: it hurts WHEN you peel it off, yet it's putting it on that's the actual cause of the pain. ;D

Everytime she comes near you she manipulates emotions, and then triggers a withdrawal symptom by leaving them exposed and raw. If you remove her out of your life, in time the emotions will disappear and you'll be completely fine, and when find a proper deserving person to properly and Islamically attach to you and earn the right to share these emotions with you, then your emotions won't be manipulated again. That first person will fade away completely and even if you see her again she will be as meaningless and as distant a memory as a bad movie.

And May God grant you peace of mind

[cat eyes]

I love a girl and she says that she loves me but whenever there's a fight, she just talks of breaking up with me and going off. I can't marry her right now because my parents won't let me and neither am I settled. I'm in University. I've tried everything to stay happy without but nothing worked. Without her in my life, everything is just an illusion.

There were 2 months in my life when I was completely away from her, not even seeing her face. even if she'd ever come in my way, I'd just stop going in that direction and go somewhere else. And I tried to be a good Muslim during those 2 months and I actually thought that I'm being one but later some of the verses of the Qur'an showed me that I had become a hypocrite. A Munafiq of a very different kind.

She was back in my life two months ago and everything was going fine but we had a fight yesterday and she left all alone again. I've tried everything I know to break out of her slavery but nothing helps. I've lost my health in it too. I'm very helpless, very sad, very hurt. She knows what I'll go through if she leaves me yet she keeps doing it over and over.

i agree with sister muslim woman your not even meant to be in a haraam relationship anyway so breaking up dosent sound like a bad idea to me and not for you also. brother everybody sins. it dose not make you a hypocrite. men are weak when it comes to women and most men fall into the shaytans trap. to save yourself and her from further sinning i suggest you be stern with her now and use anger towards her too if you love this grl you will push her away because you don't want her to also sin. your parents are clearly not allowing you to marry so you must forget about this girl for now until you will finish your studies

[Mujahideen92]

I would just break up with her.

But honestly i wouldnt really be in the situation in the first place, i dont hang around with girls unless i really plan on marrying them

[Hayfa]

Asalaamualykum Brother,

When someone is in this sort of situation it can be really hard to get out. I know its easily said than done but brother as a sister in Islam i would advise you to stay away form this girl no matter how much you love her.

Now bro, when you said La ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasool Allah did you really mean it? Do you really love Allah as much as you say you do? Do you REALLY love Muhammed saw? If you Loved Allah you would follow Muhammed saw and if you loved Muhammed saw you would listen to what he had to say...

I know the last thing you wanna hear is 'break up with this girl it is haram', and you may even ignore it if someone says it because you feel that giving up on her will make you cry day and night, you wont sleep and you may get ill etc...Now picture this, when you first met this girl remember where you were, who was around you how did you feel towards her and what did you both say to each other?

Now imagine your in the same place but instead Muhammed saw is by your side, would you still look at her the way you did? would u still talk to her the way you did?

If No then you wouldnt be in the situation you are in and it would have been better for you obviously. Brother repent to Allah, remember that Allah knows what is best for us and when Allah says that its haram to have such relationships then He means for the better. Remember that Allah knows his creation because HE created you, and who would know whats better for its creation better than the one that created it?

From your post its obvious you want to make a change so make a change, before its too late. Before you meet Allahh.

Brother the next life is much better than this life...don't waste your time, you know deep down whats the right thing.

A quote from the heart.....

The Creation falls in love with each other..finds their soulmate...and passes through life together...through the most happiest points in life, to the gloomiest points in life...

From the day we are born there is that space in our heart that is left empty just for that certain soulmate...to fill it with love for that special someone

But can it be that a person has filled that space with love for The Creator?

You will get over her just as a mother would get over the loss of her son or a daughter would get over and move on from the loss of her father.

Remember that this life is a test from Allah, so see this a test from Allah and pass it!!!

I know people around you (and me ) are doing these sort of things all the
time but that is because they have forgotten that Allah is watching them, the non believers around them have made us all think that this life is all about fun and we only live once so why not live life to the fullest..?

SubhanAllahh

It is possible to fill that empty space in your heart with the love of Allah
and his Beloved Messenger Rasool saw ?

I quoted this hadith in another post and now in this one because i feel most of us have forgotten that the love of Allah should be enough for us...

The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him has said: Surely the most beloved of the creations to Allah, the Noble and Grand, is the youth who is young in age and who is a very handsome/beautiful individual however he places his youth and his beauty in Allah and in His obedience alone. This is the thing for which the Most Merciful [Al-Raḥmān] boasts to His Angels about and says,
This is truly my servant.

Imagine Allah saying this about you, how would you feel?

Brother most of us are born Muslims, and we are following the Kufar..? So basically we are going backwards instead of forwards while some non Muslims are turning to Allah.
Watch this till end inshaAllahh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjw3eojQC90

I would encourage you to read more about Jannah and realize this world is nothing compared to it.

Here are some links bro
Tour of Jannah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrspS1pgAOY

The Akhira
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3SZwQwsJVM

I hope you can make the right choice, and know that many other Muslims have been in the same situation as you and have chosen Allah rather this dunya.

May Allah guide you and show you to the right way Aameen.

[AhmadibnNasroon]

Go seek a spouse from a family that is willing to let you get engaged. I bet you'll forget her real quick :D

[aminahjaan]

I think you should reconsider your thoughts, are you REALLY in love with her? Or do you just have an attachment to her? Remember,distance & time is key. Just chill, fly solo for a little while. She's just causing problems in your life. You're always fighting with her so what's the deal? It's not going anywhere. Besides, relationships outside of marriage with the opposite sex is not allowed in Islam. Would you really get sins just because of a girl who plays with your head?

[Insaanah]

Bro/sis Anonymous gender,
I'm confused. You say that there's a girl your parents won't let you marry, but in a later post you say that you wear hijaab and abaya? Please forgive me if I've said anything wrong, or not read properly, but I don't get it.:muddlehea

[AnonymousPoster]

^^^ I think some other thread got merged with this one and so its causing the confusion.

Brother Sampharo and Sister Hayfa, you've given me very nice advice indeed, MashALLAH, may Allah reward you without measure but its not so easy. Of course, I could stay away from her for two months but I'd be thinking about her all the time, every second. She'd be in my thoughts, even during Salaah. I started believing that I don't love her but once I saw her with another man and that day I couldn't hold back my tears:cry:. I cried, I was down for hours. I felt as if I've been abandoned by Allah (I know it wasn't like that) I was feeling so lonely, so distressed, so rejected and so not required.

Before she happened to me I was a good Muslim, finding peace in obedience to Allah but now its not the same. Those two months, I became obedient again but I couldn't achieve peace.

Its easy to say that break-up with her, don't talk to her but trust me doing it is absolutely not. If love was so easy, it wouldn't have been such a hyped thing. A few days ago, I read the story of Mugheeth (R.A.):
http://sidramushtaq.wordpress.com/20...h-hamza-yusuf/

Abbas (Rd.) was with the Prophet (saw) one day and they saw Bareerah and the Prophet (saw) said: “Isn’t it strange how much Mugheeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah dislikes Mugheeth?”

And the Ulema say when the Prophet (saw) said “Isn’t it strange”, the Arabs use the word “strange” only when the means/cause (sabaab, lit. ‘door’) of/to something is unknown – and that there is no need for something to be called “strange” if the cause is known.

So the Prophet (saw) was calling him to the point the strangeness of love. Love is very strange.

Even the Prophet (SAW) said that love is very strange. You just can't control yourself and only Allah can heal this chaotic disease because He's the Controller of the hearts.

I'M SO HELPLESS :cry:

[Snowflake]

:sl: Love is mentioned in the Prophetic Book of Medicine. It's mentioned in a book of medicine/healing because it is a sickness. I've seen many people like yourself, myself included, who've been afflicted, hence why I stressed the love of Allah as being the true love. Most of the time, we are in love with being in love and not the actual person. However that's not the point. The symptoms are the same and there is a cure. If there is a cure that means it's an illness. And an illness is not a normal state of health and mind, and you should make the effort to cure it. InshaAllah when you are cured your heart will find True love. Love for Allah subhanawa ta 'ala. And when it does, you will see what I meant.

Only in the remembrance of Allah can the heart find peace.” (Qur'an, 13:28)

What is peace bro? Do you agree peace is a state free from grief and sorrow? Then bro, think of the deeper meaning of this ayah. It's telling us that that no matter what calamity, tragedy, sorrow and anguish we are afflicted with, it can all be alleviated by the remembrance of Allah.


But how? Is observing salah, fulfilling other obligations, or making dua enough? No because these are our duties regardless of what we get, we have to fulfil them. To increase the favours and blessings of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala we must increase our remembrance of Him. I will give you an example of why we have to increase our efforts if we want a special favour from Allah, Exalted be He.

In my own words... The Prophet (saw) prescribed honey for a man to cure diarrhea. The man's brother returned saying his brother was still sick.The Prophet again repeated his command. And when the man returned again, the Prophet (saw) still commanded he gave his brother more honey. Bear in mind the Prophet (saw) has told us there is healing in honey. When the man returned yet again with the same complaint, the Prophet (saw) said:

"Allah has said the Truth and your brother's stomach had lied."

So why wasn't the man getting any benefit from the honey when Allah and His Rasul told us there is healing in it. Simple! The man wasn't taking enough of it for it to treat the severity of his illness.


Strange example you might think. But is it still strange when it shows that in order to achieve the effect you want you have to acquire what you need in sufficient quantity? We don't know how much mercy and blessings of Allah subhana ta 'ala we need for our different needs, since His mercy and blessings are unlimited and only He knows their secrets. All we know is that to increase them we must increase our own efforts to please Him, praise, worship, and be grateful to Him and strive to avoid committing sins. This does not mean that we only worship/praise Allah when we need His favours. We should strive in doing this at all times. But when we know we aren't and we still turn to Him for our needs, then at least we should do with by increasing our own efforts to please Him.


Bro, if you want to remove this sickness, you must strive in extra Ibadah, dhikr and preferably in seclusion. Not sitting in front of the PC and chanting words of praise. No. You should make wudhu, go and sit alone somewhere in a quiet part of the house/masjid. Pray nawafils, recite Quran, praise Allah with words dear to Him (preferably in hundreds/thousands) - (see: http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/130.html) and make dua to Allah to remove this affliction and test from you. Stay in ibadah as long as you comfortably can. But be patient. Only Allah knows when He will open the doors of His mercy and healing for you. Remember the example of the significance of quantity I gave for the honey? Make it a habit to take time out for the rememberance of Allah. Not just in dire straits. Quiet often we are so absorbed in asking Allah for our needs that we forget to thank Him for the blessings He has given us. So gratefulness a special feature of your remembrance of Him. InshaAllah by the grace of Allah you will be cured. Ameen.


Lastly, although this form of cure is better for you, the Prophet (saw) has recommended marriage as another cure for those in love. Allah has given you the right to choose whichever you wish. But I promise you, there is no happiness and joy like there is in the love for Allah. :)


:wa:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

you choose a girl over islam


you chose a girl over islam


your choosing a girl over islaam!!!!!!!!!!!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: Love is mentioned in the Prophetic Book of Medicine. It's mentioned in a book of medicine/healing because it is a sickness. I've seen many people like yourself, myself included, who've been afflicted, hence why I stressed the love of Allah as being the true love. Most of the time, we are in love with being in love and not the actual person. However that's not the point. The symptoms are the same and there is a cure. If there is a cure that means it's an illness. And an illness is not a normal state of health and mind, and you should make the effort to cure it. InshaAllah when you are cured your heart will find True love. Love for Allah subhanawa ta 'ala. And when it does, you will see what I meant.

Only in the remembrance of Allah can the heart find peace.” (Qur'an, 13:28)

What is peace bro? Do you agree peace is a state free from grief and sorrow? Then bro, think of the deeper meaning of this ayah. It's telling us th.....

SUBHANALLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAH-U-AKBAR

what an awesome post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very much sister. May Allah reward you with closeness to him. You've helped me beyond understanding. I'm feeling so different and better. I don't know how long this feeling will last but inshAllah I'll strive to not let it go out of me. I can actually say that you pointed out my shortcomings in worshiping him. I always had faith in Allah but I disobeyed him so many times. I also believe that God helps those who help themselves. I think now I know what to do. Slavery to an evil woman gave me happiness for two months but gave me far more grief in just two days. I can't thank you enough. May Allah forgive each and every sin of yours and give you Jannat-ul-firdaus. I'm not sure if I should disclose myself to you but inshAllah I'll pray for you too for the rest of my life, inshAllah. THANK YOU SO MUCH SISTER.

[cat eyes]

love is certainly a sickness the only reason you are not getting cured is because you don't want to be cured.


you know that Allah has the power to do anything you know that Allah can take this illness away but you don't want to even think about it or even mention the words that you want to forget her incase it happens because as usual in love we are BLIND and we seem to believe that this person will come back into our life's but that is just fALSE HOPE from the shaytaan he is whispering to you everyday.


learn about your deen more and understand what true love is! love is not wanting that person in a haraam way that person should be disgusting for you in that way. love is wanting that person in a halal and blessed way.

shaytan is the one who is making you helpless because he dose not want to make you forget. he wants for you do carry on sinning.

hope you find peace in your heart inshallaah. but whats the cause of all of this is you need to have a deeper understanding of your faith to truely have strenght to move on

[greenpeals]

You hve to think with your head here Brother NOT your heart. Clearly this isn't a healthy relationship. You two aren't even marriage yet and there's been great pain and arguments. you need to move on and find a better suitor when you are ready for marriage.

Focus on your studies it is very important to you for your future.

[muslimah_81]

:sl:

Some very good advice on this thread given by everyone.
Brother I was in a very similar situation to you. I knew a guy for over 10 years and we were going to get married but then he just abandoned me without even telling me. He got his father to tell me and then cut all contact with me. He also use to threaten with breaking the marriage or relationship off everytime we argued and it was an emotional roller coaster for me.
Alhumdulilah this situation has made me learn a lot. Everything happens for a reason. This has brought me closer to Allah.

When everything happen I couldnt see clearly but it does get clear.
Allah does everything for a reason and put your trust in Allah and Allah will help you through this. Allah will replace her with someone better.

Shaytan will whisper to you but you need to recognise this and fight it.
Make dua because it brings you closer to Allah and it is the weapon of the believer.

This only happen to me a few months ago. People use to tell me that it will get easier and i never use to believe them but take it from someone thats experienced this! it does get easier and you just have to be stronger.
Turn to Allah because only Allah can help you in this situation. Pray to Allah to make it easy for you and to strengthen your faith.

I would advice you to leave her and avoid her because not only will it be bad for your deen but I believe it will also cause long term psychological effects with your future relationship with your wife.
When someone loves you they do not threaten to leave you because of petty arguments.

I read the following book and it made me stronger and gave me a lot of hope..
Dua the Weapon of the Believer by Yasir Qadhi.

Ofcourse the best healer is The Quran and here are couple of verses that really helped me.

and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (2:216)

Verily, along with every hardship is relief, Verily, along with every hardship is relief.(94:5-6)

[Snowflake]

SUBHANALLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAH-U-AKBAR

what an awesome post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very much sister. May Allah reward you with closeness to him. You've helped me beyond understanding. I'm feeling so different and better. I don't know how long this feeling will last but inshAllah I'll strive to not let it go out of me. I can actually say that you pointed out my shortcomings in worshiping him. I always had faith in Allah but I disobeyed him so many times. I also believe that God helps those who help themselves. I think now I know what to do. Slavery to an evil woman gave me happiness for two months but gave me far more grief in just two days. I can't thank you enough. May Allah forgive each and every sin of yours and give you Jannat-ul-firdaus. I'm not sure if I should disclose myself to you but inshAllah I'll pray for you too for the rest of my life, inshAllah. THANK YOU SO MUCH SISTER.

:sl:
Allahu akbar! Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'alameen! Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. Ameen. InshaAllah bro, that's it bro, strive for His sake :statisfie:cry:
I pray this feeling not only stays with you bi idhnillah but leads you to the true love of Allah. When you forsake love for another for the love of Allah, Allah will draw you to Him and make you His friend.


Allah subhana wa ta 'ala says in the Holy Quran, "Men are guardians of women by that which Allah favoured some of them over others." Surah an Nisa 4:34. And, "Allah had favoured some of you over other with sustenance." Surah al-Baqarah 2:228. And, "Those are the Prophets of whom We favoured some over others."Yaani, Allah has in every group favoured some over others if different ways. But how about as believers in general? What gives a believer superiority over others?

Allah answers this clearly in Surah Aal 'Imraan 3:110: "Verily the most noble among you is the one with the most Taqwaa." Then in Surah Younus 10:62-63 Allah subhana wa ta 'ala says: "Behold! Certainly no fear nor grief shall overcome the Awliyyah of Allah, those who believe and have taqwaa."


Imaan and taqwaa is what sets a believer apart from the rest and Allah holds such believers as His close friends. Imagine being a close friend of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala? SubhanAllah! What more can we want in this duniya and in the Here-after? Ibadah sustains imaan and taqwaa while voluntary ibadah done out of love and pleasure of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala increases it. Do you know that when Allah created souls He asked them face to face, "Am I not your Lord?" and they all replied, "Yes we testify to it." SubhanAllah, it takes me back to our own beginning. Our own soul's testification to Allah. Our soul has seen Allah and believed. Our soul wants to return to Him. Don't we want to see Allah again? :cry: We must return to Him - where we belong. That is our only real home. We believed then and we still believe. Hamdulillah. Jannah is our home. This is our struggle in this dunya. InshaAllah we mustn't let anything get in our way. :)


I see how deeply your heart is affected. Allahu akbar! Allah wants good for you. You've got what it takes. If you want to, if you strive to, Allah Himself will draw you to Him. You just have to want it more than anything. :)


Lol nvm me. I could go on all day. Only wish I had the knowledge and words to talk about Allah even more. InshaAllah one day. :cry: May Allah increase us all. Ameen


take care bro :)

:wa:

[Hayfa]

MashaAllah bro its nice to know your much better now

i hope this hadith can inshaALLAH help keep you strong also

Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgement) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah. [Bukhari and Muslim].

May Allah keep you on the straight path brother

Asalaamualykum

[cat eyes]

:sl:

Some very good advice on this thread given by everyone.
Brother I was in a very similar situation to you. I knew a guy for over 10 years and we were going to get married but then he just abandoned me without even telling me. He got his father to tell me and then cut all contact with me. He also use to threaten with breaking the marriage or relationship off everytime we argued and it was an emotional roller coaster for me.
Alhumdulilah this situation has made me learn a lot. Everything happens for a reason. This has brought me closer to Allah.

When everything happen I couldnt see clearly but it does get clear.
Allah does everything for a reason and put your trust in Allah and Allah will help you through this. Allah will replace her with someone better.

Shaytan will whisper to you but you need to recognise this and fight it.
Make dua because it brings you closer to Allah and it is the weapon of the believer.

This only happen to me a few months ago. People use to tell me that it will get easier and i never use to believe them but take it from someone thats experienced this! it does get easier and you just have to be stronger.
Turn to Allah because only Allah can help you in this situation. Pray to Allah to make it easy for you and to strengthen your faith.

I would advice you to leave her and avoid her because not only will it be bad for your deen but I believe it will also cause long term psychological effects with your future relationship with your wife.
When someone loves you they do not threaten to leave you because of petty arguments.

I read the following book and it made me stronger and gave me a lot of hope..
Dua the Weapon of the Believer by Yasir Qadhi.

Ofcourse the best healer is The Quran and here are couple of verses that really helped me.

and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (2:216)

Verily, along with every hardship is relief, Verily, along with every hardship is relief.(94:5-6)

sorry for your troubles sister that must have been tough

[muslimah_81]

Thank you for your kind words Cat eyes...
I think I just posted this message to you on the wrong thread!
Sorry I am new to this site :)

[cat eyes]

Thank you for your kind words Cat eyes...
I think I just posted this message to you on the wrong thread!
Sorry I am new to this site :)

ya i saw the other message :giggling: no worries sis

[AnonymousPoster]

I still miss her and keep hoping that I get a call from her but still the very next moment I'm determined that I'll just ask her to leave me alone. Its very strange. I'm trying to concentrate on my studies as for now. I hope and pray that I overcome her.

[Snowflake]

^:sl: It's ok to feel like that bro. Only a miracle can end what you feel abruptly. In any situation it takes time and you slip a number of times before you totally give up anything. With each step you take toward Allah, the slip becomes shorter and your step toward Allah longer. As you become stronger, the nafs's calls become less bothersome and you learn to ignore them like pests. Do supplement your efforts with duaas and vice versa. Ask Allah to make you stronger. It takes time bro. But with the right intentions you will get there inshaAllah. : )

:wa:

[Khaldun]

:sl:

Akhee women are evil, what can I say? lol

Go cold turkey brother, just cut her off once and for all, we are here to support you inshaAllah.

[Hamza Asadullah]

I love a girl and she says that she loves me but whenever there's a fight, she just talks of breaking up with me and going off. I can't marry her right now because my parents won't let me and neither am I settled. I'm in University. I've tried everything to stay happy without but nothing worked. Without her in my life, everything is just an illusion.

There were 2 months in my life when I was completely away from her, not even seeing her face. even if she'd ever come in my way, I'd just stop going in that direction and go somewhere else. And I tried to be a good Muslim during those 2 months and I actually thought that I'm being one but later some of the verses of the Qur'an showed me that I had become a hypocrite. A Munafiq of a very different kind.

She was back in my life two months ago and everything was going fine but we had a fight yesterday and she left all alone again. I've tried everything I know to break out of her slavery but nothing helps. I've lost my health in it too. I'm very helpless, very sad, very hurt. She knows what I'll go through if she leaves me yet she keeps doing it over and over.

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my brother it looks like she has you wrapped under her finger. My brother what we have to realise is that it is totally forbidden for us to be involved in any relationship outside of marriage. Rasulallah 9Pbuh) said that it is better for us to have an axe go through our heads than too even touch the skin of a non mahram".

These are just some of the situations of can get themselves into by having forbidden relationships.

Think to yourself if she is like this now then how can i ever even think of spending my life with her? You will never be happy with someone like that my brother wake up and get yourself out of this mess.

Firstly you have already angered Allah by involving yourself in haraam but on top of that you are wrapped under her little finger and she clearly enjoys this situation and is playing mind games aswell as leading you on. How do you know how many others she is seeing behind your back? Have you any proof shes not? If she is treating you like this then it is clear that she is very scheming and enjoys leading boys on and you are clearly being lead on.

My brother stop wasting your time. The little time we have in this world we cannot waste it day in day out with committing haraam and not wanting to let go of it. You have already dug yourself in a hole but you can get out of it. Its not impossible. It is just going to require you telling yourself in your mind that, "I have to get out of this situation and go towards Allah, this girl is leading me on and wasting my time and it is my fault for getting myself into this situation in the first place but now i will get out of it and go towards Allah and please Allah and repent for my mistake and inshallah Allah will find me a good and pious wife."

My brother you came into this forum because Allah wants to help you and he wants to continue to help you but you HAVE to help yourself and that means getting yourself out of this situation by telling her RIGHT away: " i am going to go towards Allah."

Also change your number and e mail address, trust me it is better of you do this as it will be a fresh start for you and you van get rid of people that are holding you back in life and it will also be a psychological thing which will make you feel like from now on its a fresh start. After that get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds you of are, and just go towards Allah and give it time as time is the best healer but the more you change your mind set and go towards Allah the easier it will be!

My brother we have so little time and if we were to die what do we have to show Allah? NOTHING! That is why we must do what we can do change ourselves for the better and go towards Allah before its too late and remember our time could be up at ANY second so we CANNOT change tomorrow but we MUST change NOW!

We are here for you my brother but remember it is you who must make changes for your own benefit. If you continue being a slave towards her then you will continue to waste your life away lowering yourself to shaythan. Let us be slaves to Allah NOT slaves to evil!

Don't let shaythan keep a grip on you, but let go of evil and hold onto goodness.

[cat eyes]

:sl:

Akhee women are evil, what can I say? lol

Go cold turkey brother, just cut her off once and for all, we are here to support you inshaAllah.

Ahem AHEM well i have to speak out brother with that statement you made.............................................. ........ you are so right HAHA have you only realised it now :bravo:

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam...

:sl:

Akhee women are evil, what can I say? lol

when men say things like that, it's usually a cover for their own faults. so in other words, what they mean is "we aren't smart enough to figure them out" :shade:

Go cold turkey brother, just cut her off once and for all, we are here to support you inshaAllah.

that...

[AnonymousPoster]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my brother it looks like she has you wrapped under her finger. My brother what we have to realise is that it is totally forbidden for us to be involved in any relationship outside of marriage. Rasulallah 9Pbuh) said that it is better for us to have an axe go through our heads than too even touch the skin of a non mahram".

These are just some of the situations of can get themselves into by having forbidden relationships.....

JazakAllah Khair Brother, the people here are really helping me. I can't believe how I could act so foolish that I got back with her and she again just tried to rule over me. I'm back to those dark days of helplessness. I hope to not repeat that mistake again. I'm more willed now than ever.