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AnonymousPoster
10-26-2009, 07:47 PM
Hi all

I have recently in the past few months felt a strong need to become a practicing muslim. However, i do not feel welcomed by the muslim community. I have reached out to several people, places and organizations.
I reached out to the Muslim Coalition in my state as well as the muslim student assoc at my university.
I recieve replies very rarely when i have emailed these people and places. The MSA at the uni has replied but they do not welcome me in the way in which you would welcome someone new to Islam. They simply tell me "we have meetings at 7 p.m. you can show up if its convenient for you"
I do not feel that is a genuine way, i dont know any of these people, they all know each other so i wish they would take initiative to welcome me and others by taking the time to meet me instead of making excuses when i request such a thing. Its very difficult to walk into a room where you dont know anyone let alone a mosque.

I am very frustrated. I feel alone because i cant seem to come to terms with being an American and doing "american" things, i want to be a muslim but when you walk into places full of pakistani, indian, saudi, etc etc who stick to their groups...where am i to go?
Trying to infiltrate these groups is nearly impossible.
I approached a group of girls wearing hijabs and introduced myself and why i was speaking to them, they gave me curt short responses and then made some excuses about having to go to class and headed for the door. A short time later i saw them eating together... i felt my face grow hot from the mixture of negative emotions that took hold of me and continue to each and every time i am shot down.

I read somewhere that when the Prophet would meet people he would make them feel welcomed and at peace, smile at them and show them the way.
No one seems to follow that example. They say "sure sure we will call you" yet i have gotten nothing.
I met a nice pakistani sister a few times at a masjid and i gave her my cell # and told her to call me anytime so that she could help me out, never got a call.
Ran into her at a restaurant and i asked her why she hasnt called me, she said she did i must have missed the calls.


Things like this push me AWAY from practicing.
I am more welcomed by my Christian neighbors into their homes to have some coffee than i am by the muslims i go to school with. What a tragedy.
What a shame.


I may not know a lot about Islam, but one thing i am so very sure of, is that not on single Muslim can be a TRUE muslim if they dont welcome outsiders but rather cast them aside as not being "worthy"
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cat eyes
10-26-2009, 08:46 PM
sister theres no reverts that go to your local mosque at all?
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ahmed_indian
10-27-2009, 01:18 PM
u want to practice Islam for the sake of Allah..isnt it? then focus on Allah.

the ppl will not be with us in grave. we will be alone. also nobody will help us on Jugdment Day.

its really sad that muslims are behaving in this way. thats y u can see ppl running frm Islam. but pls have patience...if u follow Allah's path, He will be always with u.

take it as a test frm Allah and try to forgive and forget those who acts in such unkind manner.

may Allah help u.
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Snowflake
10-27-2009, 02:43 PM
:sl: Sis, I do know what you mean, but practicing Islam comes from within yourself and has nothing to do with other people. You're doing it for the sake Allah, not for, or because of people. You must not feel your growth in Islam depends on anyone but Allah. If Allah, Exalted be He, has guided you He will test you too. So be patient in your difficulties God willing. The lack of help you are experiencing is just another proof that there is no better Wali (Friend, Protector, Ally) than Allah. Don't depend on man sister. A believer must only rely on Allah for His needs. Even those who help do it through the mercy of Allah. You have access to the internet/library/Islamic book shops, hamdulillah you can learn all the details of your religious obligations that way. You can ask questions here and we will answer what we can with evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah and/or you can take advantage of the other options I mentioned. This forum is chock-a-block full of information. I hope we can be friends inshaAllah. May Allah's blessings be with you. Ameen. :)


:wa:
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OmarAlexander
10-27-2009, 02:56 PM
:sl:

I have had the same problem on and off since my reversion to Islam. I definitely feel like there can be a culture barrier between lifelong muslims who are usually arab, and American reverts.

However, I do think that being involved and welcome in a group is a two-way street. The email you received about the MSA meeting may not have been incredibly warm, but that should not stop you from going anyhow. I would try taking the initiative yourself, and try inviting fellow muslims to lunch with you perhaps, if they dont seem to invite you.

As I said, ive had this problem before, and I know what it feels like if you feel shut out by the Muslim community around you. But don't give up!
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Asiyah3
10-27-2009, 06:27 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Hi all

I have recently in the past few months felt a strong need to become a practicing muslim. However, i do not feel welcomed by the muslim community. I have reached out to several people, places and organizations.
I reached out to the Muslim Coalition in my state as well as the muslim student assoc at my university.
I recieve replies very rarely when i have emailed these people and places. The MSA at the uni has replied but they do not welcome me in the way in which you would welcome someone new to Islam. They simply tell me "we have meetings at 7 p.m. you can show up if its convenient for you"
I do not feel that is a genuine way, i dont know any of these people, they all know each other so i wish they would take initiative to welcome me and others by taking the time to meet me instead of making excuses when i request such a thing. Its very difficult to walk into a room where you dont know anyone let alone a mosque.

I am very frustrated. I feel alone because i cant seem to come to terms with being an American and doing "american" things, i want to be a muslim but when you walk into places full of pakistani, indian, saudi, etc etc who stick to their groups...where am i to go?
Trying to infiltrate these groups is nearly impossible.
I approached a group of girls wearing hijabs and introduced myself and why i was speaking to them, they gave me curt short responses and then made some excuses about having to go to class and headed for the door. A short time later i saw them eating together... i felt my face grow hot from the mixture of negative emotions that took hold of me and continue to each and every time i am shot down.

I read somewhere that when the Prophet would meet people he would make them feel welcomed and at peace, smile at them and show them the way.
No one seems to follow that example. They say "sure sure we will call you" yet i have gotten nothing.
I met a nice pakistani sister a few times at a masjid and i gave her my cell # and told her to call me anytime so that she could help me out, never got a call.
Ran into her at a restaurant and i asked her why she hasnt called me, she said she did i must have missed the calls.


Things like this push me AWAY from practicing.
I am more welcomed by my Christian neighbors into their homes to have some coffee than i am by the muslims i go to school with. What a tragedy.
What a shame.


I may not know a lot about Islam, but one thing i am so very sure of, is that not on single Muslim can be a TRUE muslim if they dont welcome outsiders but rather cast them aside as not being "worthy"
I don't really know what to say. This is not right, I'm very suprised about their behaviour. I myself would never treat reverts like this. Rather I might even like reverts more. What is this behavior really?



(I wish I'd myself have a revertfriend, really)
Reply

cat eyes
10-27-2009, 07:09 PM
when i go to the mosque i don't feel the need to speak with sisters at all just small talk thats all. i feel so much at peace just being in there company some of us just don't like to speak at all sis we go there to feel at peace and to get away from crazy western life. do you want to know one of the reasons that they might be keeping a distance is because some people who are to open and free on the first meeting can be kinda uncomfortable for the person because they do not know you so they don't want to get to cosy with you on the first or second meeting. i met a new sister at the mosque she had one daughter also she invited me to her place and things like this and i gave her my number but i did not attend her house as i wanted to get to know her bit better and about her deen and her kids were only starting to learn islam and they were well in ther teens so i want to see will i see her a again at the mosque because you cannot expect people to just jump all over you on ya know sis. everybody is different. it dose not mean they are ignorant.
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zakirs
10-27-2009, 07:56 PM
Sis its ok , It might be just that the kind of people you are with might be introvert.I would myself give importance to reverts than usual muslims because there are in need of help more than muslims by birth.Hope you can find friends in this forum.

:sl:
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
10-28-2009, 02:12 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Hi all

I have recently in the past few months felt a strong need to become a practicing muslim. However, i do not feel welcomed by the muslim community. I have reached out to several people, places and organizations.
I reached out to the Muslim Coalition in my state as well as the muslim student assoc at my university.
I recieve replies very rarely when i have emailed these people and places. The MSA at the uni has replied but they do not welcome me in the way in which you would welcome someone new to Islam. They simply tell me "we have meetings at 7 p.m. you can show up if its convenient for you"
I do not feel that is a genuine way, i dont know any of these people, they all know each other so i wish they would take initiative to welcome me and others by taking the time to meet me instead of making excuses when i request such a thing. Its very difficult to walk into a room where you dont know anyone let alone a mosque.

I am very frustrated. I feel alone because i cant seem to come to terms with being an American and doing "american" things, i want to be a muslim but when you walk into places full of pakistani, indian, saudi, etc etc who stick to their groups...where am i to go?
Trying to infiltrate these groups is nearly impossible.
I approached a group of girls wearing hijabs and introduced myself and why i was speaking to them, they gave me curt short responses and then made some excuses about having to go to class and headed for the door. A short time later i saw them eating together... i felt my face grow hot from the mixture of negative emotions that took hold of me and continue to each and every time i am shot down.

I read somewhere that when the Prophet would meet people he would make them feel welcomed and at peace, smile at them and show them the way.
No one seems to follow that example. They say "sure sure we will call you" yet i have gotten nothing.
I met a nice pakistani sister a few times at a masjid and i gave her my cell # and told her to call me anytime so that she could help me out, never got a call.
Ran into her at a restaurant and i asked her why she hasnt called me, she said she did i must have missed the calls.


Things like this push me AWAY from practicing.
I am more welcomed by my Christian neighbors into their homes to have some coffee than i am by the muslims i go to school with. What a tragedy.
What a shame.


I may not know a lot about Islam, but one thing i am so very sure of, is that not on single Muslim can be a TRUE muslim if they dont welcome outsiders but rather cast them aside as not being "worthy"
My sister sometimes in life things happen when we least expect it. When we want something to happen it does'nt always happen but when we least expect it it suddenly happens.

So when you least expect it you will find a friend or friends inshallah just don't expect it or be eager for it to happen. Maybe those people that you have come across are not good for you because you may look at some people and think oh she looks religious but you don;t know what their like inside like gossipy or backbiters etc. Maybe Allah saved you from befreinding those people or maybe because Allah just wants you to focus on yourself.

I would suggest that you focus on yourself and bettering yourself in everyway possible and make the best use of every second of your life because every second is too precious to waste. Focus on getting as close to Allah as possible.

Surely it is shaythan who is wanting you to lose hope and lose your faith in Islam. Don't let him do that sister because he picks at our weaknesses and when he finds a gap in our imaan he will chip away at it and make the gap bigger until we crumble! We have to do as much good as we can and get the closest to Allah so our gap gets filled and shaythan cannot penetrate.

Let us be the best towards others and try our best to benefit others even if they don't benefit us because surely our reward is with Allah!

Let us ONLY want to please him and he will do whatevers best for us! Let us befriend Allah for surely he loves us 70 times more than a mother loves its baby, that kind of love is unimaginable!

Also my sister we have to try and make effort aswell like for example you should get involved with sisters circles and if they tell you when their meetings are then you should attend for the intention of pleasing Allah and if its best for you and meant to be then you will find many friends inshallah.

Remember the true friend is the one who benefits you in your deen and the bad friend is rthe one who will drag you to hell.

May Allah give us true friends that will benefit us and may Allah befriend us so that we may be the closest to him!

Put your full faith and hopes and trust in him my sister and whatever is best for you will happen inshallah. Please remember me in your dua's.
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