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AnonymousPoster
10-31-2009, 12:37 AM
:sl:
im not sure if most of u have seen my previous threads about my 2 friends a muslim and a non muslim girl, well anyways the muslim girl is usin me as an excuse for everything when she goes out with boys she tells her parents shes at my house and they cummin knockin in the door at night, and its not the first time shes done thisi've told her many times dont use me as an excuse, anyways now that ive kinda changed and become more into this deen
so ive stopped all this lyin and stuff, but now its become annoyin and i cant put up with it, i want to stop being friends or try keep away from her but i dont know how to,
Any ideas. BTW iko it sound evil but it feels lyk its my situation and everything she does i get into trouble for it and i jus cant take it anymore.imsad
:wa:
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Sampharo
10-31-2009, 11:00 AM
Hmmm, you mean despite what you said she still uses you as an excuse and her parents come checking? I'ld say just tell them. They are her parents and having a cover from them is not allowed in Islam so you can tell them safely without ever feeling guilty, it is actually your duty so that they correct her.

As to let her be away from you, the "phasing her out" approach seems to always work. :D Don't invite her for anything or call her for anything, and just answer one out of two calls she makes and turn down all invitations with genuine sounding excuses. When you answer be very casual yet distant. It works very well because (unless it's a love relationship) they actually don't get offended and just feel later on that they lost interest themselves.

Hope this helps
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zakirs
10-31-2009, 12:09 PM
Just when their parents ask you something don't lie. Thats it simple.
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IbnAbdulHakim
10-31-2009, 12:40 PM
just be calm and tell her parents you told her to stop using you as an excuse and its not your fault

simple

and then give her a mindful next time you see her also
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Hamza Asadullah
10-31-2009, 04:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:
im not sure if most of u have seen my previous threads about my 2 friends a muslim and a non muslim girl, well anyways the muslim girl is usin me as an excuse for everything when she goes out with boys she tells her parents shes at my house and they cummin knockin in the door at night, and its not the first time shes done thisi've told her many times dont use me as an excuse, anyways now that ive kinda changed and become more into this deen
so ive stopped all this lyin and stuff, but now its become annoyin and i cant put up with it, i want to stop being friends or try keep away from her but i dont know how to,
Any ideas. BTW iko it sound evil but it feels lyk its my situation and everything she does i get into trouble for it and i jus cant take it anymore.imsad
:wa:
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb my brother jazakallah for sharing this with us. My brother i know you have good intentions and a good heart but you have been too soft on her and in life we have to be stearn against evil and sin.
She has walked over you for far too long and it is clear she does not even take you seriously. Allah gave you inclination to come here to share this problem so that we can advise you to do the right thing my brother and i would advise you to tell her parents right away!

Everytime you cover her and allow her to commit major sin and evil, you are also getting a big sin for this! Imagine if her parents found out for themselves which a lot of parents eventually do and how ripped apart and hurt would they be that all this time you covered the evil she was committed and still continued to do so! But if you tell them yourself what she has been upto then they will definatley understand why you did it and that you felt guilty so came clean, so don't waste a minute more and tell them straight away because this girl will NOT listen to you! If you do threaten her to tell her parents then she will just use some other excuse and continue the evil she is committing now! Would you want that?

If you were a father and you found out your daughter was doing the same thing and also found out that her friend was covering for her and continues to do so how will you feel? Would you not want to know so that you can put a stop to this?

I know its not easy but its time you became firmer against evil and put your foot down. We as Men cannot be a walkover we are the protectors or women and if we were parents how would we feel if no one told us of this? Do the right thing and tell them as soon as you can and they will take appropriate action to stop her of the evil she is committed inshallah.
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seeker-of-light
10-31-2009, 06:03 PM
yeh, just start backing off slowly. thats the best way i think. i had a girl who actually was in love with me, so i just started slowly being more distant from her. now i dont have to deal with any of that anymore thankfully^^
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