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For_One
11-01-2009, 11:12 PM
Selam Aleykum brothers and sisters in Islam....

Im new to this forum and would like your dua's/ prayers please in regards to my marriage.
My wife has lately been very edgey and i can never seem to do anything right.
We generally have a good happy marriage but lately it has been a bit sad. She sometimes threatens me saying that it will be over and she will leave me and when i try to talk to her she will shut me out and wont want to talk last night she slept in the spare room and whenever i tried to talk to her she would get madder....now i know that i havent done anything wrong. Like everyone we all make mistakes and sometimes i say the wrong thing or it doesnt come out like it should. But once that happens she just cracks it and shuts me out and pretty much hates me. Wateva i try to do only makes things worse.
I know that this is just a hicup along the way but its still not a good feeling when you hear things like this. I ask for your prayers and dua's please in this situation and that my marriage will improve and things will get better between me and my wife. Please brothers and sisters i ask you for your help as well with this. May Allah please accept all our prayers and grant us a place in Paradise next to each other and protect us from harm and evil that affects our daily lives. Amin

Thank you all Selam Aleykum
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zakirs
11-02-2009, 10:12 AM
Brother,

May Allah keep your marriage safe.Women are edgey sometimes , you need to be nice and respect them.Hope that it will all go fine.
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Caller الداعي
11-02-2009, 11:07 AM
Allah make keep ur marriage intact and succesful!!
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adriatic82
11-02-2009, 11:31 AM
Hello sorry to hear that ,just a dua wont solve anything ,i have the same problem with my finance ,she gets moody a lot and bored and when she does i just hug her and that calms her ,u must be upsetting her on things,women get upset very easy ,sum reasons:if u talk bad about their family,if u slagg off their bodies,if u order them around,and some women are too energetic ,if u like a quiet life they mite not like them ,go out more for a walk or sumthing and that drains the bad energy.Hope evrything goes fine and i ll pray for u too
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For_One
11-02-2009, 01:16 PM
Jazaak Allah, thank you for all your prayers and advice, Insallah it will be ok and i will try to change as well just to be safe and will follow the advice i have been given. May Allah reward us all in this life and the hereafter.

Selam Aleykum brothers and sisters in Islam.
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ahmed_indian
11-02-2009, 01:23 PM
may Allah help u brother. pray salatul hajah for Allah's help.
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OurIslamic
11-02-2009, 01:35 PM
Walaikum brother,

You have my duas :).
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cat eyes
11-02-2009, 03:42 PM
women are highly sensitive when it comes to there appearance you probably have a laugh with her and think its innocent joke but infact women take it as offense when you tease them about anything. i believe you might be doing this damage because that would be the reason why she is sleeping in a separate room this would be the only reason what would make a woman mad. so give up that teasing okay its not healthy for your marriage. its a very ignorant way of carrying on towards your wife. if she commented about how you look and started teasing you, how would you feel? ud probably get admission in a gym the next day and start feeling your not good enough for her. it dose really have a bad effect on any marriage. insulting or any kind whether you think is a joke or not if you see the other person not laughing and in tears its no joke. i hope inshaAllah you will see sense,
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Asiyah3
11-02-2009, 04:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by zakirs
Women are edgey sometimes ,
Excuse me, mister?! :raging:


[/QUOTE]you need to be nice and respect them. [/QUOTE]

How true :statisfie
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zakirs
11-02-2009, 08:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by _muslim_
Excuse me, mister?! :raging:


you need to be nice and respect them.

How true :statisfie
Salaam sister ,

Sorry i meant no offence :) but its a truth because women have so many tensions in their head compared to a man who only thinks about food he eats tonight and the sunday afternoon football game.


@poster: If its so problematic issue , Take her on a holiday may be she is stressed out ?.
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Hamza Asadullah
11-03-2009, 10:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by For_One
Selam Aleykum brothers and sisters in Islam....

Im new to this forum and would like your dua's/ prayers please in regards to my marriage.
My wife has lately been very edgey and i can never seem to do anything right.
We generally have a good happy marriage but lately it has been a bit sad. She sometimes threatens me saying that it will be over and she will leave me and when i try to talk to her she will shut me out and wont want to talk last night she slept in the spare room and whenever i tried to talk to her she would get madder....now i know that i havent done anything wrong. Like everyone we all make mistakes and sometimes i say the wrong thing or it doesnt come out like it should. But once that happens she just cracks it and shuts me out and pretty much hates me. Wateva i try to do only makes things worse.
I know that this is just a hicup along the way but its still not a good feeling when you hear things like this. I ask for your prayers and dua's please in this situation and that my marriage will improve and things will get better between me and my wife. Please brothers and sisters i ask you for your help as well with this. May Allah please accept all our prayers and grant us a place in Paradise next to each other and protect us from harm and evil that affects our daily lives. Amin

Thank you all Selam Aleykum
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb my brother jazakallah for opening up to us about your issue. May Allah make things easy for you. I am not married yet so please make dua that i find the right pious wife but i have developed my own theory in regards to a happy marriage and they are the three C's to a happy marriage:

Communication

Cooperation

Comprimise

In your situation it is crucial that you and her communicate effectivly. So you need to always get her to open up about how she's feeling. Do this in a gentle manner and once you get her to open up then the problem may be resolved.

Here is a good article about how to make a wife happy:

How to Make your Wife Happy


1. Beautiful Reception. After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:


begin with a good greeting

start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well

Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones

Give her your attention when you speak or she speaks

Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands

Call her nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc

3. Friendliness and Recreation


Spend time talking together

Spread to her good news

Remember your good memories together

4. Games and Distractions

Joking around & having a sense of humor

Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever

Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment

Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment

5. Assistance in the Household


Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired

The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work

6. Consultation (Shurah) Specifically in family matters


Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you

Studying her opinion carefully

Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better

Thanking her for helping you with her opinions

7. Visiting Others


Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in
visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)

Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits

Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with

8. Conduct During Travel

Offer a warm farewell and good advice

Ask her to pray for him

Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence

Give her enough money for what she might need

Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.

Return as soon as possible

Bring her a gift!

Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night

Take her with you if possible

9. Financial Support

The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).

He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small

piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).

He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.

Always being clean and neat

Put on perfume for her

11. Guarding Privacy

Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

12. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah


Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua)

Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer

Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening

Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale

Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so

13. Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents

Invite them to visit her and welcome them

Give them presents on special occasions

Help them when needed with money, effort, etc.

Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

14. (Islamic) Training & Admonition. This includes:

The basics of Islam
Her duties and rights
Reading and writing
Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

15. Admirable Jealousy

Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house

Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men

Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of this are:

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
4- etc.


16. Patience and Mildness

Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.

Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc.

Forgive the mistakes she does to you (See item 17)

How can you best correct her mistakes?

1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times.

2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.

3- The last solution is lightly hitting her (when allowable). In this case, the hsuband should consider the following:

He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.

He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without any cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc.

It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an

He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body

He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe or slapping her in the face, etc Lightly hitting her should ONLY be absolutly the last solution and even then it HAS to be light.

17. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

Accounting her only for larger mistakes

Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc.

Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake

Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing

Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment

Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations

Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings

When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others

Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.
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Insaanah
11-03-2009, 10:49 PM
Excellent advice bro Hamza81. And equally important for people who aren't yet married to consider as well, before they enter into a marriage.

Jazaakallah khairan katheeran for sharing with us.
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Caller الداعي
11-03-2009, 10:52 PM
hamza u da man !!!!!
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fagp1rpp
11-04-2009, 05:55 PM
asa please dua for me in every prayer specially in tahajud and isha with the last two ayats of surah baqrah and please make dua for my mother is very sick because of my exams tension.Her face colour is yelow now no white than yellow because of my exams tension please dua for me.I pass exams and she will be ok.My exam will be pakistan punjab board B.A english on 7 and 9 please dua for me that my exam will be easy and what ever i read that should come in exam and alah make it easy for me ameen!and after that i will be able to get job and also ber successful
thx
and please dua for me that allah will make paper easy for me and what ever i read from book that should come in paper.And make the heart of the exams checker soft becuause those are very cruel.I need help please dua for me.
thx
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fagp1rpp
11-04-2009, 05:56 PM
my exam is on 7 english a and on 9th english b please dua for me that what ever i read from book that should come in exam and because of this my mother,s health will return.The exam paper checkers are very cruel they did not even give full marks to any one please make dua that allah will make their heart oft and put mercy in their heart.
thx
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Hamza Asadullah
11-04-2009, 11:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by fagp1rpp
my exam is on 7 english a and on 9th english b please dua for me that what ever i read from book that should come in exam and because of this my mother,s health will return.The exam paper checkers are very cruel they did not even give full marks to any one please make dua that allah will make their heart oft and put mercy in their heart.
thx
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, May Allah make it easy on you my brother.

- Make frequent supplication with the Qur’anic dua,

رَّبّ�? ز�?دْن�?ي ع�?لْمًا

Rabbi zidni`ilma
(’My Lord! Increase me in knowledge!’).

- Leave something haram or disliked from your life for the sake of Allah.

- Renew your commitment to fulfill your religious duties–this practical supplication is far more powerful than mere words.

With this, the sunna is to seek the most effective of means: make sure you are studying in the best and most beneficial of ways.

And Allah alone gives success.
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Ansariyah
11-04-2009, 11:58 PM
Tell her nice things, apologize, when making up dnt tell her things that will make her angry. She seems quite sensitive, women n men are not the same, women dont forget things...so its important u guys talk n find out wats botherin her. Just sit wit her n ask her wat u can do to make her feel better..

Buy her a gift...do something for her that will make her happy. yu know the drill.

u are in my duas, guaranteed. May ALlah accept it ameen.
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Hayfa
11-05-2009, 09:30 PM
Asalaamualykum,

It needs to be borne in mind that Almighty Allah has created man and woman, each with different tendencies and attributes. On account of this difference between the nature and temperament of the two, man thinks about a woman that she is opposed to his masculine nature and sentimentality, although this natural tendency of a woman against a man's natural bent and tendency is not a defect. It is the natural requirement of her nature that she should reflect in her character some innocent crookedness.

That is why the Holy Prophet (saws) said: If you find in a woman something which is against your natural tendency on account of which you think that she is crooked, do not condemn her on this account; rather ignore it by thinking that it is the natural demand of her nature. If you want to straighten her she will break; if you want to benefit by her you can do so despite her crookedness.

now go take her out somewhere nice :D

You are in my Du'as
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For_One
01-10-2010, 02:20 AM
selam, thank you brothers and sisters.....your dua's have helped.....though God willing i hope he accepts them....things have been a bit better...but now it is the topic of me not noticing her and complementing her. I do try my best and with Allah's help i hope things get better and he gives me more common sense in order to complement and notice her more....thank you for your dua's...please keep them coming if possible.
Jazaak Allah
Amin
Reply

CosmicPathos
01-10-2010, 02:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by adriatic82
Hello sorry to hear that ,just a dua wont solve anything ,i have the same problem with my finance ,she gets moody a lot and bored and when she does i just hug her and that calms her ,u must be upsetting her on things,women get upset very easy ,sum reasons:if u talk bad about their family,if u slagg off their bodies,if u order them around,and some women are too energetic ,if u like a quiet life they mite not like them ,go out more for a walk or sumthing and that drains the bad energy.Hope evrything goes fine and i ll pray for u too
you hug your fiancee? Are you married to her? A Muslim man cannot touch a woman who is not his wife.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-12-2010, 03:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by For_One
selam, thank you brothers and sisters.....your dua's have helped.....though God willing i hope he accepts them....things have been a bit better...but now it is the topic of me not noticing her and complementing her. I do try my best and with Allah's help i hope things get better and he gives me more common sense in order to complement and notice her more....thank you for your dua's...please keep them coming if possible.
Jazaak Allah
Amin
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my brother make sure you keep communication between you and your partner strong. As soon as there is a breakdown in communication then that is when things go wrong.

When you and your partner have free time and are together just ask her about her feelings and you also share your feelings with her.

Always make time to ask how she is feeling and always try to make her open up about things. You do the same. This way you both know what each other are feeling and will get to know each othr on a more deeper level.

I would also suggest that you try and do taleem(Learn about Islam) even if its for a little while each day. Open up a chapter of a book and read a little each day to your partner. This will bring blessings into your home.

Do you and your wife pray?
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Snowflake
01-12-2010, 04:26 AM
:sl: May Allah make you and your wife pleased with each other. Ameen.



The Prophet's Emotions toward his Wives

Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love toward them.

He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:



Knowing their Feelings

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying "By the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "By the God of Ibrahim". She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "No, by the God of Ibrahim".

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2439




Understanding their Jealousy & Love

Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.

Narrated by: Um Salama – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Nasa'i – Page or number: 3966




Understanding their Psychology & Nature

The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "Treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are just like this; therefore treat them kindly".

Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 3331





This tradition is not for dispraising women as understood by the public, contrary, it is for teaching and educating men. Moreover, this tradition expressed the accurate understanding of the nature of the women and indicated the possibility of leaving the woman as it is in the permissible things but to guide her if she exceeded the permissible limits such as doing the sins and neglecting the duties.




Complaining to & Consulting them

The Prophet – peace be upon him – has consulted his wives in the most delicate and important matters such as consulting his wife Um Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – in Al-Hudaibia Treaty. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has written the treaty between him and the polytheists of Quraish in Al-Hudaibia region, in the Hudaibia year and told his companions: Go to make immolation and shave, but no one responded. The Prophet – peace be upon him – repeated that three times but still no one responded to him. Then the Prophet – Peace be upon him – went to Um Salama and told her about the matter. Hearing that, Um Salam said: O Prophet of Allah, just go and don't speak to any one until you make your immolation and shave. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – went out and did not speak to any one until he did the same. Seeing that, the companions stood and make their immolation and began shaving for each other to the degree that some of them was about to kill the other out of their grief.

Narrated by: Um Salama Hind Bint Abi Umayiah – Degree: successive – the narrator: Ibn Jarir Al-Tabari – The Source: Tafsir Al-Tabari – Page or number: 2/293




Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5189




Choosing the Best Nicknames to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha: O Aish (nickname of Aisha), this is Jabril (Angle of revelation) telling you the greetings. Aisha said: May peace and blessings be upon him, you (The Prophet) see what I can't see. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha "Al-Humairaa" (i.e. white-skinned woman).

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right attribution – the narrator: Ibn Hijer Al-Asqalani – The Source: Fateh Al-Bari of Ibn Hijer – Page or number: 2/515





Eating & Drinking with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: When I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 300




Not Complaining of their Circumstances

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I was combing the hair of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while in menstruation.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 295





Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was leaning on my lab while in menstruation and read Quran.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 297





Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wants to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: Why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa riding it, greeted her and walked together until they got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: O my Lord, send a scorpion or a sneak to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2445





Helping them in the Household Duties

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5363




Depending on himself to Relieve them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – in his home? She replied: He washes his clothes, milks his ewe, and serves himself.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani– The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4996



She said also: he sews his clothes, cleans his shoes and does what men generally do in their homes.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4937




Tolerating for their Happiness

Aisha narrated that Abu Baker – May Allah be pleased with them – entered to the home of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while two young girls were striking on the tambourine and signing and while the Prophet – Peace be upon him – laying and covering himself with his clothes. Seeing him, the Prophet uncovered his face and told him: O Aba Baker, let them continue, it is the days of Eid (festival). The said days were Mina Days and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was in the Medina.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Sahih An-Nasai – Page or number: 1596




Treat them Fairly while Angry

Once, Aisha was angry of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – So, he told her: Do you accept Abu Obaida Bin Al-Jarrah as a judge between us? She replied: No, this man will not issue a judgment against you in my favor. He said: Do you accept Omar as a judge? She replied: I fear Omar. He said: Do you accept Abu Baker (her father)? She replied: Yes I accept him.





Calm Them Down In Panic

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "O Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".




Giving Presents and Showing Affection to their Friends

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.


Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2435

74712- When he slaughters the sheep says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4722





Praising & Thanking them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: The rank of Aisha to the other women is like the rank of the porridge to the other foods.
Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2446




Feeling Happy when they are Happy

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was playing with the toy girls when she was with the Prophet – Peace be upon him. She added: My friends were coming to visit me and they were feeling shy of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – but he was letting them in to me. In another narration in the tradition of Jarir: I was playing with toy girls while in his home.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2440.




Feeling Pleased when they are Glad

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: Once, the Prophet – Peace be upon him – came from a battle and there was a cover for my toy girls in my room. The wind uncovered the toy girls. Seeing that, the prophet said: What is this? She replied: my daughters. He said: What is the thing between them? She replied: it is a horse. He said: What is this thing on the horse? She replied: they are two wings. He said: A horse with two wings!! She replied: didn't you hear that Sulaiman bin Dawood – Peace be upon them – was having horses with wings? The Prophet then laughed until his molars appeared.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Ghayat Al-Maram – Page or number: 129





Expressing his Love to them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not been ever jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2435




Considering her Best Manners

"The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character".
Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 1469




Keeping Their Privacy

"The worst rank for a man at the day of judgment is the rank of the man who sleeps with his wife and then discloses her privacy".
Narrated by: Abu Saeed Al-Khudri – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 1437




Refraining from Beating or Abusing them

"The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has not ever beaten any woman, any servant or anything in his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah The Almighty. He does not take revenge from anyone harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah The Almighty, at which case, he takes revenge".
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2328




Consoling & Wiping their Tears

Safiyah – May Allah be pleased with her – was traveling with the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and it was then her turn to travel with him. She was slow in walking. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – received her while crying and saying: You gave me a slow camel. Seeing that, The Prophet – Peace be upon him – wiped her eyes with his hands and consoled her. Narrated by An-Nasai.




Putting the Bite in her Mouth

The Prophet – Peace be upon him said: "If you expend anything seeking the pleasure of Allah the Almighty, even if you put a bite in the mouth of your wife, He will promote you to a higher degree in paradise".
Narrated by: -- – Degree: Right – the narrator: Ibn Taymiyyah – The Source: Majmou' Al-Fatawa – Page or number: 10/31





Fulfilling their Needs

"O Prophet of Allah, what are the rights of my wife? He said: To feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe, don't beat her face, don't abuse her and don't desert her except in home".
Narrated by: Mu'awiah Bin Haida Al-Qushairi – Degree: Stated in the introduction that it is "Right" pursuant to the standards of some narrators – the narrator: Ibn Daqiq Al-Eid – The Source: Al-Elmam – Page or number: 2/655





Trusting them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – prohibited men from knocking the door of their families at night trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes. In another narration, he did not mention "Trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes".
Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 715





Remembering & Caring About Them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was visiting his eleven wives within a short period of time, at night or in the day. I said to Anas: Was he bearing that? Anas said: He has the power of thirty men.
Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 268




Respecting them during Menstruation

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was making love with his wives above the loincloth while in menstruation.
Narrated by: Maimona Bint Al-Hareth – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 294





Accompanying them in Travel

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between him wives when he wants to travel then he takes the one who wins the lot. He cast a lot between us in one of his battles and it was me who won it; therefore, I went with the Prophet – Peace be upon him – after the revelation of Al-Hijab (veil) verse.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2879




Racing & Playing with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was accompanying the Prophet – Peace be upon him – in travel while she was a young girl. She said I was still slim. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told his companions to go forward. They went forward. Then he told me: come, I want to have race with you. We started the race and I won. After a period of time, I went in travel with him and he said to his companions go forward. The companions went forward and then he told me: come to have a race with you. At that time, I forgot the former race and I was fat. I told him: how can we race while I am in this situation (thin)? He replied: you will do it. Then we started the race and he won. He laughed then and said: tit for tat.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: his attribution is right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Adab Al-Zafaf – Page or number: 204





Choosing the Best Nicknames for them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said to the Prophet – Peace be upon him: O Prophet of Allah, all of your wives have nicknames except me. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – replied: take the name of your son Abdullah (i.e. Abdullah bin Al Zubair), your nickname now is Um Abdullah. The narrator said: She was called Um Abdullah until she died though she has not ever given birth.
Narrated by: Orwa Bin Al-Zubair – Degree: Right attribution – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Silsila Al-Sahiha – Page or number: 1/255




Sharing Happiness and Joy with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: By Allah The Almighty, I saw the Prophet – Peace be upon him – standing at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing with their bayonets in the mosque of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while he was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing and was waiting for me until I finish by my own will. So, try to consider the desires of the young girls, they like playing.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 892



116691- Aisha narrated: I saw the Prophet – peace be upon him – at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing in the mosque and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 454



Spreading Happiness in his House

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: Once, Sawda visited us and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – sat down between me and her, one leg in her lap and the other in mine. I made then Khazira (food) and told her: Eat! She refused. I said: If you don't eat I will stain your face with Khazira but she insisted not to eat; therefore, I put my hand in Khazira and painted her face. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed and gave his share in Khzaira to Sawda and told her stain her face; so, Swada stained my face and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – laughed. Then Omar – May Allah be pleased with him – passed by and called for Abdullah. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – thought that he will enter but Omer said to us: Go wash your faces. Aisha said: Since then, I still fearing Omar due to the Prophet's respect to him.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Good – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Al-Silsila Al-Sahiha – Page or number: 7/363




Loving & Respecting their Families

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – appointed Amer Bin Al-Aas as a leader to Zat Al-Salasil Battle. Feeling the love of the Prophet, Amer asked the Prophet: Whose is the dearest to you? He answered: (Aisha), Amer said: I mean from men: he replied: (Her father), Amer said: Who then? The Prophet replied: (Omar), then the Prophet mentioned several men; so, Amer kept silence in order not to be the last of them.
Narrated by: Abu Othman Al-Nahdi – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 4358




Keeping their Dignity in Ordeals

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: When the Prophet – Peace be upon him – wants to travel, he casts a lot between his wives and the one who won the lot will accompany him. At Bani Al-Mustaleq Battle, I won the lot and traveled with him. The women were eating light food and avoid meat in order to move easily. I was sitting in my howdah when we get down for rest and when we want to go, they carry me while in the howdah and put it on the back of the camel and then tight it with ropes to go forward again.

When the Prophet – Peace be upon him – finished the said travel, he went back to the Medina. By approaching the Medina, he got down and took rest for a short period at night. Thereafter, the people were told to resume walking and they got ready to continue while I was out to relieve nature and I was having a necklace in my neck. When I finished, the necklace fell down from my neck and I did not remember it until I reached to the place of my baggage. At that time, people began leaving while I returned back again to my place looking for the necklace until I found it. Then, the people who took my camel for rest returned back and put the howdah on the camel thinking that I am there as usual and resumed walk. I returned back to the camp and no people were there. All of them went forward. Seeing that, I covered myself with my gown and lay down in my place so that when they miss me they can return and find me there. While in that situation (laying down), Safwan Bin Al-Mu'atel Al-Salami passed by me as he was late for relieving nature. He saw my black clothes and approached me – He knew me before the revelation of the Hijab (veil) verse – and said: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return. The wife of the Prophet is here? I was then covering myself with my gown. He said: Why you are late? I said nothing. Then he got the camel close to me and said: Ride. He went back a little. Then I rode the camel and he guided the camel toward the caravan but we did not reach them and they did not miss us until the morning when they got down for rest. Then, they saw the man guiding the camel I rode. At that moment, a group of people fabricated a story and began spreading rumors that we committed adultery and the whole camp became confused while I know nothing about the whole matter.

Then we reached Medina and I was very sick and no one is telling me what is going around. Then the matter reached to my father and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and no one mentioned anything to me. I was then not pleased with the treatment of the Prophet toward me while I was sick because when he enters my room while my mother is nursing me he just says: How are you? He did not say anything else. Seeing that, I felt angry of his coolness and told him: May I go to my mother? He replied: No problem. Then I went to my mother and knew nothing about the whole matter. About twenty days later I recovered. At our era, we were not having toilets like the non-Arabs. We hate it. We were just going to the free spaces in the Medina and the women were going out every night to relieve nature. At certain night, I went out with Um Mustah to relieve nature.

At the way, she stumbled with her clothes and said: Woe to my son Mustah. I said to her: It is not good to speak like this about a man like your son, he is one of the immigrants and he has witnessed Bader Battle! Um Mustah said: Don't you know the recent news? I said: What happened? She told me about the rumors made by the people that I committed adultery. I asked her: Is that what happened? She said: yes. Hearing that, I was not able even to relieve nature and went back to home. I continued crying till I felt my liver will be broken out. I told my mother: All people speaking ill about me, why you did not mention this to me? My mother said: My dear daughter, don't worry; this usually happens to any beautiful woman loved by her husband who has other wives because the other wives and people will speak a lot about her out of their jealousy. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – then delivered a sermon to the people – I did not know that then – and said: "O people, why some group of you are speaking ill about my family and telling false about them? I swear by Allah The Almighty that my wife is good and chaste. Moreover, they also spoke ill about a man who is straightforward. That man did not enter my house except in my company". Hearing that, Abdullah Bin Ubai and some men of Al-Khazraj tribe got angry and the matter became complicated after what was told by Mustah and Hamna Bint Jahsh, the sister of Zainab Bint Jahsh, the wife of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – because she was the only wife who compete with my rank for the Prophet. Zainab spoke only good about me but her sister Hamna spread ill rumors about me. When the Prophet – Peace be upon him – delivered the above mentioned sermon, Usaid Bin Khudair said: O Prophet of Allah, if they (The people who spoke ill about your family) are from Al-Aws tribe we will kill them and if they are from our brothers in Al-Khazraj tribe, just order us and we will cut their necks. Hearing that, Saad Bin Obada (Head in Al-Khazraj tribe and was considered of the righteous men) said out of ardor: I swear by Allah that you are lying, we will not allow you to cut their nicks, you just said like that because you know well that they (Who spoke ill about the Prophet's family) are from Al-Khazraj tribe, and if they were from your tribe you will not speak like this about them. Usaid replied: I swear by Allah that you are the liar, you are just a hypocrite man defending the hypocrite people. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – got down from his stand and called Ali Bin Abi Taleb and Osama Bin Zaid – May Allah be pleased with them – in order to consult them.

Osma spoke good and said: O Prophet of Allah, it is your family and we know nothing but good about them and these rumors are lies and false. Ali said: O Prophet of Allah, women are many, you can marry again, and you can ask her maid, she will not lie. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – called Brira (the maid) and asked her about the matter. Ali has beaten her severely while saying: speak the truth to the Prophet! The maid was saying: I swear by Allah that I know nothing but good about Aisha except that when I knead the dough I tell her to keep it but she sleeps and forgets it, so the sheep comes and eat it! Then Aisha said: the Prophet – Peace be upon him – entered to my room while my parents were with me. There was also a woman from Al-Ansar (People who supported the Prophet) crying with me. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – sat down, praised Allah then said: O Aisha, you knew what the people are saying, be pious, and if you committed any thing of what is said by the people just repent to Allah. Allah will accept the repentance. Hearing that, I did not find any tears in my eyes (out of my astonishment of the speech of the Prophet) and expected that my parents will answer on my behalf but they did not do so. I was thinking that the Prophet – Peace be upon him – will see a dream proving my innocence but did not expect that my rank is high to the degree that Allah The Almighty will reveal a verse proving my innocence. I told my parents: Can't you answer the Prophet of Allah? They replied: We do not know what to say. The matter was very difficult for Abu Baker family.

Aisha said: At that ordeal, the family of my father Abu Baker suffered more than anyone can bear. Then Aisha said: When my parents did not reply, I started crying and said: I swear by Allah I will not repent from what you say at all because if I admit what the people is saying – Though I am innocent – I will be saying what is not happened actually and if I denied, you will not believe. Then I tried to remember the name of the Prophet Yaqoub (Jacob) but in vain, then I said: I will say just like the father of Yousuf: {For me patience is most fitting: Against that which ye assert, it is Allah (alone) Whose help can be sought}. Then the revelation came to the Prophet – Peace be upon him and I put a billow under his head. I did not fear anything because I am sure that I am innocent but my parents feared that Allah will reveal something proving the sayings of people. Then the Prophet – Peace be upon him – sat down sweating heavily. He started wiping his sweat and said: Be happy Aisha, Allah The Almighty has revealed your innocence. I said: All praise be to Allah The Almighty. Then the Prophet – Peace be upon him – went out and recited the following verses: {Those who brought forward the lie are a body among yourselves: think it not to be an evil to you; On the contrary it is good for you: to every man among them (will come the punishment) of the sin that he earned, and to him who took on himself the lead among them, will be a penalty grievous}.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: The story is right and it is mentioned in Al-Bukhari & Muslim – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Fiqh Al-Sira – Page or number: 288




Giving Time to Adorn themselves

We went for a battle with the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and I was riding on my camel but someone followed me from behind and began urging my camel with a stick; so, my camel went forward quickly more than the best camels. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: (Why you are in hurry?). I said: I got married recently. He said: (You married virgin or not?). I replied: not virgin. He said: (Isn't it better to marry a young girl so that you can make fun with each other?). Then, when I went to consummate the marriage the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: (Wait until night – i.e. After Al-Isha (evening) – so that the bride can comb her hair and get ready).
Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5079





Considering their Psychology while in Illness

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was, if one of his family members sick, reading Al-Falq verse and An-Nas verse on the sick member of his family and wiping him with his hands. When he got the sick which caused his death, I started reading the said two verses and wiped him with his own hands because they are more blessed than mine.
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2192




Bringing Good News and Joy to them

Jabril (Angle of Revelation) – Peace be upon him – came to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and said: O Prophet of Allah, this is Khadija coming holding a pot of food or drink, when she reaches you, tell her the greetings of Allah The Almighty and me and tell her that Allah has prepared for her a house in paradise made out of pearls wherein she will enjoy calmness and comfort.
Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 3820

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated that the Prophet – Peace be upon him – told her: "Jabril is telling you his greetings" Aisha replied: tell him my greetings.
Jabril – Peace be upon him – came to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and said: O Prophet of Allah, this is Khadija coming holding a pot of food or drink, when she reaches you, tell her the greetings of Allah The Almighty and me and tell her that Allah has prepared for her a house in paradise made out of pearls wherein she will enjoy calmness and comfort. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told these good news to Khadija and was very happy for her.



The Prophet's Emotions toward his Wives
http://www.rasoulallah.net/subject_e...#8834;_id=5094


The Prophet’s Way of Applying Love
http://www.rasoulallah.net/subject_e...⊂_id=241

Finding Comfort in Love - The Prophet's First Marriage
http://www.rasoulallah.net/subject_e...#8834;_id=5638



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