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amira7
11-03-2009, 12:49 PM
Hope all is well Inshallah... :)

I have been engaged since July 09 and want to have our Nikah. I have a huuuge family and unfortunately we can't tell everyone about our Nikah as there are a few issues involved.

Mum and dad are happy, and we have arranged for witnesses.
However I know that Nikah is a big thing and dad says everyone should know about it?

I just want to know whether or not its against Islam to keep it quiet and then announce it next year when we have our ceremony.

The only people that will know is witnesses ( uncles and aunties ) and mum and dad.
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amira7
11-03-2009, 12:54 PM
Also...

We want to have an official ( paperwork invloved ) Nikah next year, whereby everyone will know about i.
Is it possible to have it that way... ??
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ardianto
11-03-2009, 02:29 PM
Originally Posted by amira7
Hope all is well Inshallah... :)

I have been engaged since July 09 and want to have our Nikah. I have a huuuge family and unfortunately we can't tell everyone about our Nikah as there are a few issues involved.

Mum and dad are happy, and we have arranged for witnesses.
However I know that Nikah is a big thing and dad says everyone should know about it?
According to cultural tradition, is better if you inform them. But you can explain if no wedding party. In my place, the common reason for this explanation is "We are sorry, we have no money for wedding party".:D

I just want to know whether or not its against Islam to keep it quiet and then announce it next year when we have our ceremony.
No problem, this not against Islamic rule.

The only people that will know is witnesses ( uncles and aunties ) and mum and dad.
Are they uncles and aunties from your side ?.
Wait, how about your 'boyfriend' family ?. Don't they know about this nikah plan ?.
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zakirs
11-03-2009, 02:35 PM
In fact Prophet (peace be upon him) liked weddings which were small and austere.So i guess its okay to have a small wedding.Its not compulsory that you invite all people, may be you can invite them when you feel comfortable to a small celebration of wedding ( say anniversary ). But I guess you have to have the paperwork in the first wedding only since that would make you husband and wife legally.
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amira7
11-03-2009, 02:53 PM
Thank you for your reply!!

:)

I know its good to inform everyone which is what i would Love to do as its a hapy occasion - however we don't have a choice but to keep it quiet.

I have alot of uncles and aunties from both mum and dads side Mashallah but only 2 or 3of them will know about it. And they will be present at the Nikah as witnesses.

Until then, next year it will be official ( when we can spread the word )... and we will have to have another Nikah with a small ceremony.... otherwise, if the rest of my family found out its been done and they were not informed, it will hurt their feelings as we r all v.close.

Complicated situation.... :hmm:
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amira7
11-03-2009, 02:55 PM
Forgot to say - yes his side are aware.
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ardianto
11-03-2009, 03:02 PM
Originally Posted by amira7
Until then, next year it will be official ( when we can spread the word )... and we will have to have another Nikah with a small ceremony.... otherwise, if the rest of my family found out its been done and they were not informed, it will hurt their feelings as we r all v.close.
Yes, they will ask you "Why didn't you told me you have married ?".
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ardianto
11-03-2009, 03:07 PM
Originally Posted by amira7
Forgot to say - yes his side are aware.
Alhamdulillah. That's good.
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Ansariyah
11-03-2009, 03:09 PM
Wen it comes to marriage in Islam the person who matters the most is ur Wali, ur Dad. MashaAllah u seem to have his support, n ur moms support..Islamically speaking ur all set to go. But it is sunnah to announce the marriage in Islam, theres wisdom behind this. To stop people from proposing to u, n incases wen u end up pregnant no one can question if ur marriage is legit. Allah knows best. Mabrook btw!: )
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amira7
11-03-2009, 03:22 PM
The reason we can't tell anyone right now is because in his country, he's not allowed to get married to anyone outside the country. and i am an 'outsider' - regardless of the fact that we are both muslim and originate from the same place.
Word spreads fast in that country and we have alot of relatives there, if anyone finds out... he could go to prison. This country is supposed to be an 'Islamic country' by the way.
Anyway... by next year Inshallah he will find another job and we will settle down somewhere... but til then... our Nikah has got to be on the low.
He can't afford the risk of losing his job...
I can't afford the risk of him going to prison...

Yes, alternatively we could wait to have our Nikah next year instead of now, so we don't have to hide it.

But the fact that we talk everyday, and him coming over to visit ( staying at my house ) is all haram. Which is why we spoke about having it now.

Alhamdullah mum and dad are more than happy with this decision.

Its only the fact that we have to keep it quiet... thats the sting, and ofcourse risky with pregnancy and what not.

What do i do? :((( i really don't know.....

shall i wait ? or must we keep it a secret until next year?!
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ardianto
11-03-2009, 03:47 PM
Originally Posted by amira7
The reason we can't tell anyone right now is because in his country, he's not allowed to get married to anyone outside the country. and i am an 'outsider' - regardless of the fact that we are both muslim and originate from the same place.
I understand what you mean with 'outsider' and 'both muslim'. And I think I can guess which country is this.
Word spreads fast in that country and we have alot of relatives there, if anyone finds out... he could go to prison. This country is supposed to be an 'Islamic country' by the way.
He could go to prison just because he marry an 'outsider' ?. Astaghfirullah al Adzim !.
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