my mind doesnt stop thinking

[Insecured soul]

salaam to everyone

im looking for help.

here goes my problem im in love with a girl for around 2 years and we decided to marry and made so many plans and thought soon we will marry. however i was having a lot of financial problems hence we could not proceed with our marriage and when the time came her mom didnt like me and didnt approve our marriage and she searched a guy for her from her relatives side.

initially my girl didnt approve then her mom started having issues she would cry and once she became unconscious so my girl became very tensed and then she said yes against her own wish as she was worried that something more might happen to her mom

now the problem is we love each other a lot and we deeply believe in allah, our relationship has changed little since all these problems began now i see that she will be married with this guy.

iv been in a lot of depression lately due to this and i feel life is worthless however on the other side i know a muslims life is never worthless as we are here by allah's will and will die by allah's will but still i feel i have no reason to live and i feel traumatized

the solution which i want is that her mom agrees with our marriage at the same time i wanna them to be happy with me. and i do think of them as my own parents and i will treat them with honor and dignity.

and i really dont know what il do without her and she feels the same for me. we feel we are soulmate and she respects me so much and i do the same.

we want dua's and allah's help to be together. i ask u my brothers to make dua for me also tell us what can i do to please her parents.


thank u all

-adib shaikh-

[cat eyes]

:sl:
Well have you prayed istikhara? you know you really need guidance from Allah and not from Any of us. this thing belongs in the hands of Allah if Allah really wants you to be with this person believe me it will happen without any delay if not then this is what happens. the two of you are forced to go in different directions for a reason i believe on divine destiny and this is clearly what Allah has willed for this to happen BUT i would advise you to continue to have patience now no woman on this earth is worth wanting to take your life. ive always strongly believe on listening to your parents they are her GUARDIANS after all! you have been with this girl now for a very long time and you do realise that this is haraam? and then we wonder to ourselves why we never got any blessings from Allah? nothing good will come out of making Allah angry and disobeying his commands. i think what you need to do is continue praying your istikhara and i would not contact this girl anymore.
:wa:

[Insecured soul]

i havent done istikhara but im willing to do it now since u gave such a brief explaination i would request you to also let me know if her parents behaviour is appropriate or not?

they are forcing her to marry its against her will, so are parents allowed to force thier daughters into marriage in islam?

[Insecured soul]

its been many months i havent seen her since these troubles began and now we are only in touch by mails and occasionaly on calls, also let me know if thats not allowed coz i have no knowledge.

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[cat eyes]

i havent done istikhara but im willing to do it now since u gave such a brief explaination i would request you to also let me know if her parents behaviour is appropriate or not?

they are forcing her to marry its against her will, so are parents allowed to force thier daughters into marriage in islam?

no it is haraam to force your child to marry a brother against her will. i take it this girl is from a cultural family? thats why her parents want her to marry a relative.

t is totally haraam however the only reason why the parents choose relatives is simply because the family knows the relatives they want to feel secure that there daughter is in good hands by marrying her in to one of the relatives they can see her and know she is safe. every parent loves there child so much sometimes parents do things for a reason.

it is not easy for a mother to let her daughter leave in the hands of a strange man whom the family don't know but forcing the child is haraam but if she is willing to turn her back on you and marry someone else this is not forcing brother i am sure at the end of the day another brother whom she did not do any haraam stuff with might be best for her and for you also. Allah has said you might not like a thing which is good for you and you might love a thing which is bad for you

[cat eyes]

its been many months i havent seen her since these troubles began and now we are only in touch by mails and occasionaly on calls, also let me know if thats not allowed coz i have no knowledge.

Well at least you are not meeting each other you do not want to trap your loved one in zina if it is love! about the contacting depending on the whole situation nothing good will come out of contacting either so no i would not contact her. expressing your love for each other before marriage is haraam. i believe that if you are both able to control and talk decent but i doubt you both can do that so i would not contact and pray the istikhara

[Asiyah3]

salaam to everyone

im looking for help.

here goes my problem im in love with a girl for around 2 years and we decided to marry and made so many plans and thought soon we will marry. however i was having a lot of financial problems hence we could not proceed with our marriage and when the time came her mom didnt like me and didnt approve our marriage and she searched a guy for her from her relatives side.

initially my girl didnt approve then her mom started having issues she would cry and once she became unconscious so my girl became very tensed and then she said yes against her own wish as she was worried that something more might happen to her mom

now the problem is we love each other a lot and we deeply believe in allah, our relationship has changed little since all these problems began now i see that she will be married with this guy.

iv been in a lot of depression lately due to this and i feel life is worthless however on the other side i know a muslims life is never worthless as we are here by allah's will and will die by allah's will but still i feel i have no reason to live and i feel traumatized

the solution which i want is that her mom agrees with our marriage at the same time i wanna them to be happy with me. and i do think of them as my own parents and i will treat them with honor and dignity.

and i really dont know what il do without her and she feels the same for me. we feel we are soulmate and she respects me so much and i do the same.

we want dua's and allah's help to be together. i ask u my brothers to make dua for me also tell us what can i do to please her parents.


thank u all

-adib shaikh-

:sl:


It is not permissible for you to look at a non-mahram girl (I hope you haven't touched her hand: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani from Ma’qil ibn Yasaar; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 5045. )

Maybe you could try to find out why the mother doesn't like you.

Secondly a girl or woman can never be forced into marriage in islam. Sorry can't remember the hadith

[Hamza Asadullah]

salaam to everyone

im looking for help.

here goes my problem im in love with a girl for around 2 years and we decided to marry and made so many plans and thought soon we will marry. however i was having a lot of financial problems hence we could not proceed with our marriage and when the time came her mom didnt like me and didnt approve our marriage and she searched a guy for her from her relatives side.

initially my girl didnt approve then her mom started having issues she would cry and once she became unconscious so my girl became very tensed and then she said yes against her own wish as she was worried that something more might happen to her mom

now the problem is we love each other a lot and we deeply believe in allah, our relationship has changed little since all these problems began now i see that she will be married with this guy.

iv been in a lot of depression lately due to this and i feel life is worthless however on the other side i know a muslims life is never worthless as we are here by allah's will and will die by allah's will but still i feel i have no reason to live and i feel traumatized

the solution which i want is that her mom agrees with our marriage at the same time i wanna them to be happy with me. and i do think of them as my own parents and i will treat them with honor and dignity.

and i really dont know what il do without her and she feels the same for me. we feel we are soulmate and she respects me so much and i do the same.

we want dua's and allah's help to be together. i ask u my brothers to make dua for me also tell us what can i do to please her parents.


thank u all

-adib shaikh-

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, if your daughter had a relationship with another guy, would you really like him?

Think from the parents perspective brother because NO decent Muslim parent would like the guy their daughter has been having illigitemate relationship with.

What you have to realise is that we as humans think we know whats best for us but ONLY Allah knows what is best for us. If this girl is meant for you it will happen but if not then Allah has someone better for you.

This is just one of the reasons why extra marital relationships are forbidden because a couple get into a haraam relationship oblivious to the fact that they may not end up together because if they're fate deems that they are not meant to be together then it can leave the couple scarred,depressed and lost.

Brother i know you have deep feelings for this girl but only pursue this if you feel that she has the potential for becoming a pious women because we should marry for piety. If you feel she is then the only way is for you to ask the girl to tell her mother how she feels and that she cannot marry another man no matter what.

If her mother accepts to give you a chance then you should go around their house with your family immediatly and take things from there.

If the girl is not willing to do this then it is not meant to be but and you should get on with your life but if she is and her mother accepts then you can go should go around her house with your family and do things the right way inshallah and if it is meant to be then it will happen and if not then it is for the best that it never happened because maybe you would have had a miserable life with her. So many times it has happened this way that a couple fell in love and married and end up being miserable. What you have to realise is that just being in love is not enough to hold a marriage together. A marriage is about MUCH more than that.

So ask of Allah as much as you can and if you don't pray then i suggest you begin to pray because what is the point of this life without purpose? Our purpose has been made clear to us as Muslims and that is to worship and please Allah the one who created us and has given us EVERYTHING!

This is the perfect way to begin to learn about Islam because as Muslims we HAVE to learn and aquire knowledge! This e book is BRILLIANT and is written in such a simplified way and you will enjoy learning about the basics of Islam.

Islam: Beliefs and Teachings


http://www.islamicbulletin.org/servi...ls.aspx?id=267

[Insecured soul]

so i read all the replies and i feel the best option for me is to stop being in touch with her and do istakhara and follow from there.

but all i wanna say that i miss her a lot and i feel a lot of affections towards her and i believe after doing istakhari whatever the conclusions will be that il be satisfied with it since that what its meant for.

and i guess rather stop thinking about something we need to have a positive attitude towards stress and depression.

ya allah help me to be a good muslim

allah rahim allah kareem

salaam

[Insecured soul]

also can someone give me tell me exactly how to do istakhara as i know little about it

[Rafeeq]

Your parents love you more then you do the girl.

Let your parents decide and I do beleive that will be best for you.

(It is just advise)

My prayers are with you that may Allah grant you what you ask and make it beneficial for you (Amen).