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Ummu Sufyaan
11-27-2009, 08:52 AM
:sl:
i mean seriously! how do you give dawah in real life situations as to not make the person feel belittled and/or you are judging them. for example, if you see that someone is doing wudoo wrong, how do you approach them. and even more delicate, is how to give dawah to an elder. not someone related to you, but any elder in the community.

sometimes the ":sl: sister/brother, the way you are doing wudoo is wrong, it is rather this way *show them the proper way*" wont always work as anyone would be offended at that because you may not know the person (daa3i) well enough to know that their intentions are innocent and non-judgmental plus they will think that you want them to follow your way.

so, what is the best way to give dawah and how do you be "create" in giving dawah as to avoid any awkwardness, embarrassments, etc....i know that knowledge is the first and foremost step, but after that, how do you address different people/different situations?

giving the above given example, how would you personally correct that person?
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Insaanah
12-11-2009, 09:53 PM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
i mean seriously! how do you give dawah in real life situations as to not make the person feel belittled and/or you are judging them. for example, if you see that someone is doing wudoo wrong, how do you approach them. and even more delicate, is how to give dawah to an elder. not someone related to you, but any elder in the community.

sometimes the ":sl: sister/brother, the way you are doing wudoo is wrong, it is rather this way *show them the proper way*" wont always work as anyone would be offended at that because you may not know the person (daa3i) well enough to know that their intentions are innocent and non-judgmental plus they will think that you want them to follow your way.

so, what is the best way to give dawah and how do you be "create" in giving dawah as to avoid any awkwardness, embarrassments, etc....i know that knowledge is the first and foremost step, but after that, how do you address different people/different situations?

giving the above given example, how would you personally correct that person?
:sl: Sister,

I'm trying to think what I would do in the above scenario. The one thing that comes to mind is that I wouldn't immediately use the word "wrong". I'd more likely start off with something positive, like, "I loved the way you washed your arms so thoroughly maashaAllah!" and then say something along the lines of..."Did you know that rasoolullah sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam actually used to/didn't used to do such and such in his wudhu?" Depending on what's deficient/or added to the wudhu, you can say that "Doing such and such is not mentioned in the hadeeth, or according to hadeeth you also have to do such and such. I'm hoping my memory serves me correctly about that, I'll see if I can find the hadeeth for you, and it'll be a good learning exercise for me too, as it'll refresh my memory. Alhamdulillah we'll both learn something new and improve our deen. Rasoolullah wanted us to do wudhu his way, and you Alhamdulillah are the person who has spurred me on to find that hadeeth on what his way was. May Allah reward you for that abundantly."

That way you have whats known as the yes-no-yes sandwich, used when you need to correct a person and there's a risk that they might feel they are being criticised, and might not do the correction you suggest. Start off with and end with a positive, with what you actually want to say in the middle. Reinforce in the closing positive, that you'll find the hadeeth, and thank them for being the person that reminded you. When you show them the hadeeth use that opportunity then to reinforce the correction of what they had done wrong.

Even if you know that what you're saying is correct you can use that excuse to actually produce the hadeeth if possible, and hopefully the other person won't feel that they are being found fault with.

I think there'll probably still be a few people who might take offence, no matter how nicely you try to say it, but you can only do your best. Even if they do take offence, and don't listen, Allah will know that you tried and reward you accordingly!

:sl:
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Cabdullahi
12-12-2009, 03:08 PM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
i mean seriously! how do you give dawah in real life situations as to not make the person feel belittled and/or you are judging them. for example, if you see that someone is doing wudoo wrong, how do you approach them. and even more delicate, is how to give dawah to an elder. not someone related to you, but any elder in the community.

sometimes the ":sl: sister/brother, the way you are doing wudoo is wrong, it is rather this way *show them the proper way*" wont always work as anyone would be offended at that because you may not know the person (daa3i) well enough to know that their intentions are innocent and non-judgmental plus they will think that you want them to follow your way.

so, what is the best way to give dawah and how do you be "create" in giving dawah as to avoid any awkwardness, embarrassments, etc....i know that knowledge is the first and foremost step, but after that, how do you address different people/different situations?

giving the above given example, how would you personally correct that person?
just switch off from 'lion mode' and be gentle and hopefully that will not belittle them but rather make them feel not offended
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