format_quote Originally Posted by
Yanoorah
u never know it cud be tht a perfectly healthy man dies be4 him. Its not worth to stress about matters of death its in Allahs hands.
Thats different, as is what another poster said about what if i marry a man who has a heartattack.
There have been random instances of a heartattack here, or an illness there in my family but each of those was caused by either smoking, alcohol or exposure to chemical warfare (some of my family is from bosnia where there was a war)
With him it is different. For several generations there has been cancer in a large numbers in his family. It is clearly genetic (and ofcourse by Gods will--i am not trying to exclude that thought)
I did put myself in that position when i thought about it and i would not blame a person for turning away from me if more than half of my relatives were dying or had died from cancer.
I am not just thinking of myself here. What if i have children with this person, he gets cancer and dies leaving them without a father? What if one of my children inherit the genes from their father and get cancer? How would i possibly bear that burden?
I have seen mothers suffer as their children slowly waisted away from cancer. I work in the medical field, it is by far one of the most difficult things to watch as a family falls apart at the seams because of cancer. Let alone to have to go through that myself.
I have made up my mind. I do not wish to enter into relationship with this man. I have always had a mahram present and have only spent a few occasions in his presence. He is not "in love" with me nor i with him, it is still early for that and that is why i do not feel as though he or i am losing something.
I feel my reason is adequate for me. One of you may marry someone you know has a genetic disposition to getting cancer but I myself cannot to do it.
My question in the thread was how do i turn him down, do i tell him the truth of the matter or should i be vague and merely state that i am not compatible with him.
I see now that there is no straight answer i can give without him being somewhat put off. So i will just state that i do not feel he is right for me and i right for him. Thanks for the respnses.