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AnonymousPoster
11-30-2009, 01:30 AM
:sl:

Iv become a very sad person, and i don't know how to handle it.

Theres times when i don't want any communication with anyone, i want to be on my own in a dark space but deep inside my heart i want someone to come and talk to me and hear what i have to say.

My heart aces because i feel like a loser and hapless with everything, at times i want to drop out of college and i end up missing most of my lessons.

This depression takes over my life, I can't understand i am a happy person at times, i am grateful for all the blessings that Allah has given me. Yet i still feel really down at times.

I find my self in tears most of the time and anxiety has become my best friend.

Iv tried almost everything, anti depressants, counseling, becoming a busy human and all the rest...

Islam wise, i offer my 5x prayers, recite the holy Quran often, listen to Islamic lectures almost everyday, give sadaqah.

Its something missing in my life still, i miss this person that had passed away long ago. I felt like this person was the only person i could have ever trust and who could help me in my daily life. If he was here i would sit next to him and never leave him.

When i feel down i just want to give everything up and turn my whole life to Islam, but then i have to live life too.

Often i have sleepless nights, just thinking about nothing.

I don't know what i want, and what im asking for, Someone show me what i should do and what i need to do to get over this depression.

:embarrass
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
11-30-2009, 05:20 AM
:sl:

SubhanAllah, I'm speechless. I feel like I have nothin to say but I hope from my heart that Allah fills the emptiness u feel inshaAllah. Ameen.
Reply

tango92
11-30-2009, 06:42 AM
maybe if you need companionship, get married? sorry if i sound inensitive...

these links always cheer me up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrspS...eature=related
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
11-30-2009, 07:36 AM
:sl:
i dont really know what to say, but your problem sounds and is very common. i think your sadness may be due to the death of your loved one? and/or some other distress you have in life. either that, it just maybe a test and trial from allah, in which case you need to be patient.

do you know what the cause of this depression is? perhaps it is best to dig deep and try figure out what is causing it, so that you can remove the roots of these bitter fruits.

if your depression is due to loosing this loved one of yours, you have to realize-as hard and grueling as it'll be- that no one and nothing can cause life and death except Allah....no crying, no depression will ever bring them back. its just the way hard, bitter reality goes. life is rarely a bed of roses, it is mostly a bed of thorns....the bottom line is: accept t it. you dont have to get over your loved one, i think it is very unrealistic in the case of death, but rather accept that they have passed away and will never come back in this life, and that this is the Qadr of Allah. perhaps this is where the problem lies and this is where where sadness stems from, the fact that you think you have to get over the fact they are dead?


instead of crying, etc, try to seek comfort in that maybe inshallah one day you will see them in the aakhirah...turn this negative into into something positive by praying for their forgiveness and hoping something better for them.
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Innocent Soul
11-30-2009, 08:01 AM
I feel speechless after reading this thread as it doen't happen with me anytime. I think the thing that make you depress is that u think u are depressed. It would be better for u to make friendship with your nieghbours. May Allah help you and give you a good friend.
Ameen :happy:
Reply

Abdul Qadir
11-30-2009, 09:19 AM
lol...u again..Subahanallah...
Reply

cat eyes
11-30-2009, 03:12 PM
:sl:your feeling that way because of your loved one that passed away i know what it feels like because everything in which you do that person is not there and if that person was there you would not feel so helpless and empty at times but it might be that Allah will reunite us with our loved ones in jannah inshaAllah bear this hardship bro/sis. ask Allah to make your path easy for you in everything which you do. :wa:
Reply

noorseeker
11-30-2009, 04:15 PM
i feel i wrote this thread, The number one cause for me is lonliness, Most of my time is spent alone, so im trying to get myself together aswell, just think positive, try and string a few good days together
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
11-30-2009, 11:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:

Iv become a very sad person, and i don't know how to handle it.

Theres times when i don't want any communication with anyone, i want to be on my own in a dark space but deep inside my heart i want someone to come and talk to me and hear what i have to say.

My heart aces because i feel like a loser and hapless with everything, at times i want to drop out of college and i end up missing most of my lessons.

This depression takes over my life, I can't understand i am a happy person at times, i am grateful for all the blessings that Allah has given me. Yet i still feel really down at times.

I find my self in tears most of the time and anxiety has become my best friend.

Iv tried almost everything, anti depressants, counseling, becoming a busy human and all the rest...

Islam wise, i offer my 5x prayers, recite the holy Quran often, listen to Islamic lectures almost everyday, give sadaqah.

Its something missing in my life still, i miss this person that had passed away long ago. I felt like this person was the only person i could have ever trust and who could help me in my daily life. If he was here i would sit next to him and never leave him.

When i feel down i just want to give everything up and turn my whole life to Islam, but then i have to live life too.

Often i have sleepless nights, just thinking about nothing.

I don't know what i want, and what im asking for, Someone show me what i should do and what i need to do to get over this depression.

:embarrass
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister Allah is wanting to help and guide you that is why you came here for your problem to be resolved by the will and mercy of Allah and that is why you are feeling inclined in coming much more closer to Allah.

Allah's mercy, compassion and forgiveness are all encompassing and his mercy is one of his most important and significant qualities of the almighty in the Qur’an, as well as in the saying and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).

In a Hadith Qudsi Allah states: "My mercy prevails over My wrath."

The Prophet also once said:

Allah, the Almighty, says: Whosoever does a good deed, will have (reward) ten times like it and I add more; and whosoever does an evil, will have the punishment like it or I will forgive (him); and whosoever approaches Me by one span, I will approach him by one cubit; and whosoever approaches Me by one cubit, I approach him by one fathom, and whosoever comes to Me walking, I go to him running; and whosoever meets Me with an earth-load of sins without associating anything with Me, I meet him with forgiveness like that. (Sahih Muslim)

Approximately 113 chapters of the Holy Qur’an begin with: "In the name of Allah the Most-Compassionate; the Most-Merciful".

This is a constant reminder to all who read the Qur’an of the great mercy, compassion and forgiveness of almighty Allah. So do not despair my sister for whatever wrongs we have done if we repent sincerely with the intention to NEVER commit it again then Allah will forgive us.

My Sister if we don’t keep consistent with our deen then our imaan (faith) will decrease and we will be far from Allah and our deen.

If we don’t let go of our love for this world and worldly things then how can our imaan (faith) remain high? So we have to forsake the love for this world and realise that this world is just temporary and our life in this world can end at ANY second!

My Sister we should thank Allah so much everyday because firstly out of BILLIONS of people that he's created he chose US and gave US imaan(faith)!

He didn’t have to, he could of created us non believers and he could have created us in ANY time period in history like in the dark ages or in the medieval times or some other terrible time uncivilised time period but he created us in a relatively safe environment in one of the richest countries in the world with luxury, food on a plate everyday, anything we want and all we have to do is look at the unfortunate people who have NOTHING and we will truly realise how lucky we really are and that Allah has given us EVERYTHING!

Many times I have been to my native Pakistan and seen the poor there and I just feel SO lucky sister that what Allah has given us compared to these people. I saw a paralysed guy ROLLING around on the streets because he couldn’t walk or afford a wheel chair.

My Sister the amount of poverty that people are experiencing in this world and the position Allah has put us in we should constantly be in prostration to him and thank him SO much! We are SO lucky my Sister and we still complain about this and that and minor things but we should be ever thankful to Allah night and day!

We take for granted what he has given us! He could have created us paralysed or with a terrible debilitating disease but no my Sister he has given us health, wealth and best of all imaan (faith) and now he is wanting to guide us that is why were want to go towards him!

The ONLY thing stopping us from going towards Allah is ourselves because know that shaythan can just whisper but it is our choice whether we listen or not. We are given free will to choose which path we want to take and we HAVE to make the effort to go towards him and get into our deen.

Every single day we should try to imagine and contemplate the favours Allah has done for us and everything he has given us and only then we will ALWAYS remain so thankful and appreciative of Allah because my Sister SO many people are suffering in this world and all around us but were not always aware. We may look at some people around us and think to ourselves they look happy and content but only Allah knows the most terrible hardships that they are going through.

I know you may have been through a lot in your past my sister and so have many of us, but what we have to realise is that we are so such luckier compared to most people in this world! We should ALWAYS look at those who have less than us and we should NEVER at those who have more than us!

You may look at a person who you think has more than you but how do you know what they are going through in life? We don't because it is not always advertised what people are going through. They may be going through things we can never even imagine going through so do not let how a person looks on the outside decieve you into thinking that they are happy because only Allah knows best and a lot of people are going through MUCH tougher tests than we are.

So my sister let us feel so lucky because we truly are so so lucky! You still got through whatever happened to you in the past and you will continue getting through whatever life throws at you. You are the person you are today because of what has happened to you in life! Your a fighter and your struggled but with Allah's help you got through it so should we not turn to the one who created us and helps us through our lives?

Look at our poor brothers and sisters in war torn countries and those who are being oppressed by their governments who don’t even allow them to practise their deen, yet where we are our governments do allow us to practise our deen properly without any problems.

Even though we sin day in and day out our almighty creator still provides for us, nourishes us, sustains us and gives us EVERYTHING we need EVERYDAY OF OUR LIVES! He remains patient waiting for us to go towards him everyday but our luck can run out ANY second!

My Sister we are so lucky if ONLY we knew and realised how much so. Even after our imaan (faith) goes down, Allah is still trying to guide us and that is why we feel inclined in our hearts to go towards him and be the closest to him!

All we have to Sister is to make the little effort in comparison with EVERYTHING Allah has given us! But yet we still fail to do the little required of us to change and go towards Allah!

He gave us life, health and working limbs when there are people out there who have limbs missing or are deformed and retarded and look at us! He has given us EVERY SINGLE THING and yet we still struggle to give even a little back and thank him by praying to him for just a few minutes a day.

Even if we were to spend eternity trying to imagine what Allah has given us and the amount of favours he has done for us, we would NEVER be able to even begin to imagine!

My Sister happiness and contentment of the heart ONLY lies with Allah! Whether we gain this happiness and true contentment really depends on how obedient we are to Allah's commandments and how much we really strive to do what he asks of us!

Remember everything that is good comes from Allah and everything bad that happens comes from us and our own wrong doings! Also Allah tests his creations in MANY different ways!

He may test us in any aspect of our lives! He says in the Qur'an as well that do you think that you will not be tested? What is the point and purpose of life if we are not to be tried and tested by Allah?

Allah just wants to see how we will react when we are tested! Will we go closer to shaythan? or closer to Allah? So my Sister it is clear that Allah is testing you because he wants you can become closer to him. This is not a privilege that everyone has.

Why should we let shaythan win? For Allah tests a person so that he may see if the person will go closer to him or further away!

Who were the people who were tested the most? They were the prophets! Do you know why? Because they were the best of all creation! So the more Allah tests us the more he wants us to be closer to him and if we bare the tests with patience then know that Allah is with those who are patient and the reward for patience can only be jannah (Paradise)! Subhanallah

It is shaythan who wants us to become closer to him and will we let him? He ONLY wants our destruction!

He tries EVERYTHING in his power to try and keep us away from our deen by trying by distracting us with the deceptions of this world but will we let him?

He constantly tries to make us forget our purpose for It is shaythan who wants to make us lose faith in Allah and trying to make us give up hope and get depressed and confused! He tries to mess with our minds and make us lose hope and self esteem and then tells us that our lives are pointless and worthless so why not give up? It is shaythan who wants to see our destruction in this world and the next! Will we let him do this to us and let him win? Will we let him jeopardise our imaan(faith) and bring us to total destruction in this world and the next?

My Sister Allah has not asked much from us in this life compared to what he's got on offer for us in the hereafter! Allah has just asked us for full obedience to him for such a short amount of time- (70 years to the most) and in return for our obedience he has promised us ETERENITY of bliss!

So that's: Obedience to Allah for the duration of our very short lives = Eternity of bliss in the hereafter

Is that not the most amazing offer one can EVER imagine or comprehend? On top of that Allah has given us everything we need, life, shelter, wealth, food, clothing I can go on and on about the favours of Allah FOREVER because his favours unto us are infinite and we will NEVER be able to comprehend what he has done for us!

So not only has Allah provided us with everything we can imagine but he has asked us to do a little in return for an eternity of bliss and we still can't manage it? Were pathetic its as simple as that!

Allah just wants the best for us in this world and the next and he tells us in the Qur'an that righteousness and piety is the path to success in this world and the next! Simply following Allah's commands wholeheartedly will lead to success in this world and the next!

This life for us can end at ANY second Sister as we have seen for ourselves and still see on the news and all around us people dying and those people are not old at all they are people of ALL ages, ethnicities, backgrounds and religions! No matter who we are and what our situation or position is in life when our time is up then death will take us for death does not wait a second more it will take us when our time is up and NO ONE knows when that will be but Allah!

We know too well how temporary our life is and we should realise that if we waste our lives away more than we have already done then surely we will surely regret all the time we wasted on the day of judgement because ONLY then will we realise the true value of the time we had and the amount of GREAT opportunities we missed out on to do good and go towards Allah!

There will be MANY on the day of Qiyamat that will ask Allah for just one more chance and opportunity to have another shot at life and another chance to do things right this time but NO ONE will be given another chance for THIS is our ONLY chance! If we waste this opportunity then we WILL regret it FOREVER! That's a guarantee!

Allah will say have I not given you enough chances in this world to change and be obedient to me?

We wouldn't want to die at this point in our lives right now because we know that we have prepared NOTHING! What have we prepared to show Allah when he asks us what we did with our lives? We have NOTHING to show! We should be VERY worried indeed!

One time the Prophet (Pbuh) saw some people laughing out aloud and they were laughing a lot and the Prophet (Pbuh) said that if these people knew what was to come then they would NOT laugh at all!

This proves that the Prophet (Pbuh) knew what was to come and he knew that if we had the knowledge he did then we would be VERY worried indeed but we don't realise because were asleep and we by the time we wake up it will be too late! So we HAVE to wake up now! Otherwise if we die and have nothing to show Allah of our lives then we are doomed and we would not be able to handle a second of punishment.

My Sister my dear friend died this Ramadan just gone and he was only 28 years of age and my first cousin sister died recently she was only 26. My Sister life is just so uncertain. How do we know when our time is up? The thing is we don't know that is why we HAVE to prepare now! Otherwise there may not be a tomorrow!

If we CONSTANTLY remind ourselves of death then we will NEVER slack in our deen because we would know that the angel of death may take us ANY second!

We get SOO many chances from Allah everyday but yet again and again we don't take those opportunities for we keep letting them pass but what if at ANY second our last chance is up? Then we will not get anymore!

So it’s best for us to try and change ourselves now! Let’s do our best to abide by the commandments of Allah and go closer to him because he is our beloved creator and he knows what’s best for us we don't! Allah says in the Qur'an that we humans know not what is best for us but Allah does. We think we do but we clearly don't.

Surely our creator knows because he has created everything we see and imagine! So let us put our FULL trust in him and strive to get the closest to our beloved creator who gave us life!

We should NOT keep dwelling on our past now or the bad experiences we went through because our past has made us who we are today! Let us take lessons from our past and learn from it and do things better now and the future!

It will do us absolutely no good by being down about what has happened in the past! Being depressed or down about the past and life I general and losing hope and faith will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom and destruction because that is what shaythan wants! He wants to mess our heads up and distract us ANYWAY he can!

If we think to ourselves that life is too short to be down or lose hope and faith and that i should spend most of my time working for the next life then this is the best way to live our lives because what is the point of investing time and efforts in this world when those efforts are for something that is temporary and could end at ANYTIME!

We should not waste a single second more being down or depressed for we should remember Allah as much as we can otherwise we will regret the seconds we did not spend remembering Allah.

Hadhrat Mu'az [RA] narrated Rasulallah (Peace be upon him) said: “The Inhabitants of Paradise will not be grief stricken or sorrowful about anything they did in the life of the world except for the time they spent without being in the remembrance of Allah” (Tabaraani)

We need to keep thinking to ourselves that EVERYTHING that happens around us and in our lives happens because of the will of Allah so whatever will happen will happen anyway so there is NO point of us being worried about it or down or depressed about it because we have NO control over it!

We cannot change it and it is not in our control so why should we not do the best we can in our own lives and accept that whatever happen then it is Allah's choice and he wanted it to happen because he knows best for us and we are just his creations so we do not know what is best for us in this life.

"I have no time to be down or depressed in this life because whatever will happen in life will happen and I have no control over it for everything happens from the will of Allah alone. I have to try and make the best of EVERY second of my own life because my life in this world can end at ANYSECOND!

So I need to do as much good as possible and try my best to please Allah as much as I can otherwise I will regret it forever! There is no time or need for me to be down or depressed because I rely on Allah for EVERYTHING and I depend on him and put my hopes and trust in him and I put my FULL FAITH in him because he created me and NOTHING will happen to me without his will so I’m FULLY reliant on Allah!"

Say this to yourself with FULL sincerity and conviction EVERY morning and every time you begin to feel down or depressed and inshallah you will realise that there is NO need to EVER get down or depressed and you will have no time to EVER be down or depressed.

Why not spend most of our time and efforts on the hereafter which is for ETERNITY? Any investment we put into the hereafter will benefit us forever and we will wreak the rewards for eternity! But if we put all of our efforts just into this world then how much will we really gain from it? Very little or nothing at all!

The person who chases this world will only get what is destined for him but the person who chases the hereafter will get more from this world and from the hereafter! So who is the winner?

We have all done mistakes in our lifetime and sometimes we wish that we can get hold of a time machine and do things differently! We wish we could go back into the past and change things so that things could have been different now but what is the point of thinking this way? Whatever has happened has happened and will NEVER change! Even if the world was to be created again whatever will happen will happen because it is ordained by Allah and his will!

We are wasting even more time thinking this way when we could be using this precious time in doing things better now and the future because that’s what really counts not what has already happened!

Let’s move on and NOT think and dwell about the past because our life experiences make us who we are and have made us wiser people when in the past we were inexperienced in life and naive!

Sometimes in life we have to learn the hard way because the hard way is the best way to learn at times and we have to just accept what’s happened and move on because life goes on but we don't know for how long! We have to realise how precious time is!

So lets forget the past now and move on and do the BEST we can now and the future in pleasing Allah and trying to be the closest to him and repenting our past sins because if we repent with full sincerity with the intention of NEVER doing it again then Allah almighty will forgive us Inshallah that’s how merciful he is!

We can work our WHOLE lives 24/7 and build a wonderful life for ourselves here and then the next day we die before we can even enjoy the fruits of our hard labour! What was the point of all that investment just in this world when it can end at ANYTIME!

Let’s ONLY invest the very minimum into this world lets invest as much as we can to the next world which is our final and ultimate destination!

The Prophet (saw) says to that we should treat this life as if it were just on a journey! This life is not a very long stop until our final abode which is the hereafter!

When investors are looking to invest in a business venture do they look for short term gains or long term? Obviously long term my sister and that’s what we should be looking for because the cleverest person is the one who makes arrangements for the hereafter and not only for this world!

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have our share in this world of course we should but we should invest most of our time in the next life which is for ETERNITY!

We would NOT be able to handle a single second in the hell fire my sister, we cannot even imagine how terrifying this will be so we should do our best in this life to seek protection from it and make our good deeds balance as heavy as possible!

Sometimes I find it very hard to imagine when i think of the concept of FOREVER! It’s hard to imagine something that will last forever! That it will never cease but will go on and on! It’s not hard to think of temporary because most of the things around us goes through a cycle of life and then ceases to exist!

We see people die all around us we see things ending etc But the concept of forever is unimaginable because nothing in this life is forever! We cannot imagine there hereafter that is why you may find it difficult to comprehend but if we believe in the hereafter then of course we must believe in the full descriptions of heaven and hell!

The disbelievers have nothing to live for! They go through life ONLY living for this world and are confused as to why they are here and they don't have a purpose in life but we know our purpose but what are we doing to achieve it?

Allah guides who he wants and he says in the Qur'an that if he wanted to he would guide all of mankind but that would go against the whole point of this creation and testing mankind!

Allah knows best who is worthy of having faith and guidance! But it is truly a sad life for those who have no purpose in this life! They live just for this world! This is their paradise! This is their bliss! But ours is in the next world for this world is the prison for the believer!

One of the main reasons why we lack in Imaan Sister is also due to a lack of knowledge of Islam!

Knowledge always makes things clearer to us! If we constantly gain knowledge of Islam and especially the akhirah and at the same time contemplate and ponder over it then my sister our imaan will remain strong because we know what is to come.

My Sister our enemy shaythan wants our destruction and he will stop at NOTHING until we desire this world and live for this life but my sister this life is SO SO short that we cannot imagine.

A hadith to the nearest meaning says that when we will be in the akhirah we will be asked "How long were you on the earth for?" We will say “Only for a few hours" because the comparison of this world to the akhirah is NOTHING! So when we are in this next world this world will seem like a few hours!

My Sister we will regret every second we wasted! In the akhirah we will wish that we went back to the earth and done things better but this is our ONLY chance! My Sister we can't waste our one chance that we have in this world!

What is this world but an illusion and a deception? Allah says this in the Qur'an that this life is like a veil over your eyes its a deception! We have to wake up Sister and keep reminding ourselves EVERY day of our purpose!

My Sister Allah loves us 70 times more than a mother loves its baby! Look at how much love our almighty has for us! He looks after us, sustains us and cherishes us but what do we do? We run after this world! We are truly sad and we will be the losers on Qiyamat (Day of judgement) unless we change NOW!

We need to make sincere vows to Allah that we will ONLY go towards him and we will ONLY put everything into the Akhirah to please him!

We need to only live for this world as much as we can survive comfortably but everything we do for this world we should also make the intention of doing it for Allah's pleasure so that we can survive in this world! The prophet (Pbuh) was given the chance to have all of the riches of this world but he rejected it all because he wanted the riches in the hereafter! Similarly we need to want the riches of the hereafter for how can one compare the riches of this world to that of the hereafter? There's NO comparison!

If we keep constantly reminding ourselves of this then we will constantly busy ourselves with Zikr (remembrance of Allah) and we will have no time for being down or depressed.

This life is our ONLY chance to please Allah and gain as many good deeds as we can so that we can build our eternity in the next world. We can't build our eternity once were dead so we HAVE to do as much as we can to please Allah and increase our good deeds now that we are alive before death overtakes us and death can overtake us at ANY second!

You really need to try and find good pious local sisters who are working for the akhirah. I'm sure you can get involved with local sister halaqa's and sisters circles because there are SO many Muslims in your area and there will DEFINATLY are good sisters doing good work in your area. It is just a matter of making the effort to locate these sisters groups. If you ask around then someone will know of such groups inshallah and you can get involved with good sisters who will help you in your deen.

You are who your friends are so if your friends are good and pious and of those who ONLY desire the hereafter then those are the right people to be with but if they are the opposite then you need to get away from them because whether we like it or not their bad influence and habits etc will rub off on us gradually. The true friend is the one who takes us towards goodness and towards Allah and Islam and the bad friend is the one who will drag us towards hell and destruction.

My Sister our aim should be to do EVERY namaz with khushu (imaging we can see Allah when praying or doing good deeds). We need to imagine him watching us no matter what we do! If we imagine him watching us then surely we would automatically want to stay away from sin and do good actions with more sincerity and focus.

For this we need to try and clear our minds of all thoughts and focus SOLELY on Allah when were doing any good action like namaz for example because it is easy for our minds to wander when were praying.

We need to try and gain more sincerity in our hearts in every action we do and clean out the love of this world from our hearts and replace it with the love for the hereafter and wanting to be the closest to Allah!

All this is certainly not an over night process, but my sister our imaan (faith) can remain strong and high if we consistently remember Allah ALL the time and keep in mind our purpose in this world that were ONLY here for such a short period and that we will have to go one day which can be ANY second. We should glorify Allah throughout the day and remember him no matter what were doing in our lives and this way our imaan (faith) will remain high all the time inshallah!

We should imagine him watching us glorify him and think of him and we should do lots of duas throughout the day and gain a close relationship with Allah!

We should read much of the Qur'an and its meanings and contemplate and ponder over its meanings. We should try and spend a little time each day trying to memorise bits of the Qur'an and even make intention that we want to memorise all of it because We will get our reward depending on our intention!

We should try and learn and implement as MANY Sunnahs (Actions and sayings) of our beloved Rasulallah (Pbuh) as possible who is our role model and we should learn the masnoon duas and implement them EVERYDAY in our lives!

We should learn the life story of our beloved Rasul (Saw) and learn about every aspect of his most amazing life! This will surely soften our hearts!

We should learn about the stories of the pious predecessors and the heroes’s of Islam and take them as our hero's because they are the true hero's of this world like the many hero women of Islam which I will paste you the web link at the bottom so that you can read about their amazing lives!

We should constantly remind ourselves of death and read about it all the time my Sister and read about what will happen to us after death in the grave and in the hereafter! We should learn about our possible rewards in Jannah and our demise in Jahannam if we fail and die without imaan May Allah save us all!

We should try and gain a thirst for knowledge my Sister because it is said that the ones with knowledge and the ones without knowledge is like the distance from here to the star that you can see shining and learning knowledge of Islam will opens up our eyes wider than they currently are.

We need to acquire a taste and a desire to gain knowledge and try our best to act upon it and implement it in our daily lives and share it with others! My brother we need to try and gain the closeness to Allah by reading MANY nafil salah's.

My Sister we need to try and constantly occupy ourselves with the Zikr of Allah and glorify him day and night! This will bring peace and tranquility into our hearts and rid our hearts of the blackness of sin and unhappiness. The more we remember Allah in our hearts the more peace,tranquility and contentment we will feel because Allah says:

"Only in the remembrance of Allah (swt) will your heart find peace" Quran (Surah 13: Verse 28)

For success in this world and the next we need to rememebr Allah as much as we can:

Allah also says in the Qur'an "Remember Allah abundantly, in order that you become successful"
Quran (Surah 8: Verse 45)

"Those men and women who engage much in Allah's praise. for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a Great Reward"
Quran (Surah 33: Verse 35)

"When any group of men remember Allah, angels surround them and mercy covers them, tranquillity descends upon them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him." (Muslim)

We also know that remembering Allah is of the greatest deed:

"The remembrance of Allah (swt) is the greatest (deed)" Quran (Surah 29: Verse 45)

and of the the worst things we can do is not to remember Allah:

"Satan has mastered them and caused them to forget the Remembrance of Allah. Those are Satan's party; and Satan's party shall assuredly be the losers"
Quran (Surah 58: Verse 19)

"Whosoever turns away from the Remembrance of Allah, He will hurl him into a stern punishment".
Quran (Surah 72: Verse 17)

"Whosoever turns away from My remembrance, his life will be made tight and narrow on the Day of Resurrection We shall raise him blind" Quran (Surah 20: Verse 124)

Allah tells us to remember him no matter what we do whether that be lying or sitting down:

"They are the most wise who remember Allah, standing sitting and lying down"
Quran (Surah 4: Verse 190)

We should remember Allah no matter what we are doing and we should ALWAYS try to keep our tongues moist with his remembrance and glorification.

Here are some VERY quick, easy and rewarding ways of earning good deeds everyday especially easy zikr's:

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html

In the morning when waking up for tahajjud even if its 20 mins before start of Fajr and then wait until Fajr and pray that and then do ibaadah (worship) until ishraaq(Sunrise) and then pray that Salah and then the breakfast salah(Salaatul Duhaa) and then pray Zuhr with all the sunnah and Nafil and same with Asr and make some time to do ibaadah until Maghrib and read the nafils after that (Salaatul Awabeen) and read isha and all the sunnah and nafil and do zikr (remembrance of Allah) throughout the day, So my Sister if we do all of these things then were are implementing Islam FULLY in our lives and we will be SO SO close to Allah and feel the best feeling in our hearts that we can EVER imagine! We will feel the sweetness of imaan!Oh what a beautiful feeling it is! My Sister we should try and cry to Allah everyday on our duas and feel him close to us in our hearts!

Please click on the link for a more detailed explanation of the many Nafil Salah which we can pray everyday so we can be the closest to Allah!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)

We should cry over our sins and cry to him for guidance and help in our lives and ask of him for EVERYTHING we want, especially in this last portion of the night where duas are more readily accepted. Just like how a mother runs to its baby when it’s crying then will Allah not swiftly attend to us when we cry to him in dua? We should have hope of his mercy after sincere repentance and make intention not to repeat the sin again but if we do then we should continue to ask for repentance my Sister because Allah is most merciful and his mercy overcomes his wrath! Allah gets angry at those who don't ask of him!

We should ALWAYS make dua for our parents and all of the Muslims. If we make dua for EVERY Muslim person who’s ever lived and every Muslim from now until the last Muslim then we will get the reward for EVERY Muslim we pray for. So that's BILLIONS of good deeds every time we do dua for every Muslim that's ever lived! We need to make a habit of doing this!

We should from now on have FULL hope in him and him ONLY! We should have FULL reliance in him and accept the fact that if he tests us then he wants us to be the closest to him and we should bare the test with patience! He ONLY tests those he wants closest to him!

My Sister can you feel in your heart how much you desire to be the closest to Allah? It is because Allah wants you to be the closest to him and he wants you to desire the next world and not this world which is PATHETIC my Sister and NOTHING but deception and a waste! This life is a proto-type of the akhirah.

My Sister lets get the hunger for good deeds and making Allah the happiest.

My Sister people spend their whole lives looking for peace and contentment in their hearts and ALL the worldly goods and money have NEVER given them that! Allah says that ONLY with my remembrance will hearts find contentment! So my Sister we have to CONSTANTLY remember him and glorify him!

We need to constantly keep our lips moist from his glorification. Keep a tasbih near to you in your hands ALWAYS because a tasbih is the best reminder for one to do zikr. I find that a metal clicking tasbih is really good and practical to carry ANYWHERE.

My Sister Allah is watching us in our prayers and EVERYTHING that we do so we need to imagine he is watching us because he ACTUALLY is! What an amazing feel that he is watching us pray and glorify him!

Let’s make the best of every second we have now and NOT waste it anymore! Let’s learn as much as we can about our beautiful way of life because it is truly amazing and has perfect wisdom in it!

Once we become closest to Allah we will feel more amazing than we have EVER imagined because Allah says that you will NOT find contentment and true happiness in money or anything else but you will ONLY find true contentment and happiness in me and NOTHING else!

So my Sister this is our chance to aim HIGH and gain the HIGHEST positions in paradise! Allah wants you to come closer to him so grab this opportunity and lets keep ourselves strong against the whispers from shaythan who wants our destruction by distracting us with worthless time wasting that will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!

Allah is beauty itself for he is perfection and the almighty master of the universe and we are is lowly slaves who are insignificant like a speck of dust!

We should make the intention NOW that we will change our lives FOREVER and we go FULLY towards Allah and make our sole purpose and aim in this life to make him the happiest and shun this world which is deception and a jannah for the non believers for this is their temporary bliss and our bliss will be FOREVER in Jannah inshallah.

Life is so uncertain and we can be taken ANY second my dear Sister and when it is gone then we can't do anything more to please Allah and add to our good deed accounts. We need Allah; he doesn’t need us so let us strive to go towards him FULLY!

We should desire to be the closest to Allah and Allah wants us to be the closest to him because he loves us MUCH MORE THAN WE CAN EVER IMAGINE!

So let us show him how much we love him with action and let us glorify him and thank him day and night because he loves those who thank him constantly and are appreciative of him SO SO much!

Let us make changes to ourselves NOW because we may not live tomorrow! Let's re-evaluate ourselves and realise that we only have ONE purpose and our destination is in the hereafter for our stay in this world is so short.

Let us spend each day FULL of worship and obedience to him and a life where we will spend it making him the happiest and he will fulfil our needs and give us peace and contentment in our hearts which is the best feeling anyone can EVER imagine!

Let us not feel down or depressed because that is what shaythan wants so that we can waste our lives and our only chance that we have to build our hereafter!

How can we be alone when we have Allah there for us 24/7 and we have Allah watching over us and seeing EVERYTHING that we do? We have Allah so don't ever think that your alone!

Let us from now on FULLY rely on Allah and put our FULL hope, trust and faith in him and him ALONE and he will NEVER let us down but if he tests us then let us bare with it with patience and know that if we be patient then Allah is with us and our reward will be great!

Keep reminding yourself every morning of the purpose of this life and that the shaythan will always try to make you forget your purpose by reminding you to be down and depressed. We know know that this is his evil trick and plan and that he can ONLY whisper to us but WE have the power and control over ourselves and we will go towards Allah FULLY and he is there for us through EVERY aspect of our lives! Just ask of him and know that he hears ALL of our prayers and will do whatever is best for us in this life!

Please ask me anything you want as I am here for you as your brother in Islam!

Here are a few threads and articles which you will find very beneficial. Please remember me in your dua's:

25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety VERY GOOD THREAD


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43179


The Cure for Depression

http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/cure-for-depression


Overcoming tests from Allah


http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61961


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html


Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It


http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm


The Best Role Models for All Muslim Women


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41302


Everything about Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh)


http://www.mohammad-pbuh.com/


Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html


VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!


http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)


My Daily Ibadah(worship) check


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html


A party in Paradise, A party in Hellfire


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39698


The Ultimate Motivation for Muslims


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49243


The State of the People of Paradise in this World


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49125


Major Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://www.inter-islam.org/faith/Majorsigns.html


Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://etori.tripod.com/dajjalsystem/judgement.html



The Life of this World and the Hereafter


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51739


Beautiful Description of Paradise in Islam


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51707


Practising az-Zuhd in the Dunya


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51738


Overcoming laziness and Procrastination


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=52097
Reply

AnonymousPoster
12-03-2009, 12:51 AM
Hamza81

Shukran for your long post and the time you used to write this. May Allah reward you brother.

"I have no time to be down or depressed in this life because whatever will happen in life will happen and I have no control over it for everything happens from the will of Allah alone. I have to try and make the best of EVERY second of my own life because my life in this world can end at ANYSECOND!

So I need to do as much good as possible and try my best to please Allah as much as I can otherwise I will regret it forever! There is no time or need for me to be down or depressed because I rely on Allah for EVERYTHING and I depend on him and put my hopes and trust in him and I put my FULL FAITH in him because he created me and NOTHING will happen to me without his will so I’m FULLY reliant on Allah!"

Thanks for this i was feeling down and i read this from my heart and i felt at ease.

I really want to live every day as though it is was my last although i see my self waking up every morning so grumpy. I can't control it, theres things you just can't control and things only Allah can change. Like your emotions and feelings. I don't know why i want to be by my self i don't like making friends anymore, or talking to anyone. Its just the way i have become now.
Yeah it is taking over my life because i feel no pleasure in anything i do.

I have never spoken to anyone of this because around me no one can give me any true advise. A few years ago i was living the way i wanted to live until i implemented Islam properly into my life. As i slowly changed no one around me agreed to my mew way of life. I love Islam as it changed my life and I love Allah as He removed my sorrow and I love Mohammed (peace be upon him) as he showed me there was such a thing as a trustful, kind and patience person. I understand that this life is so short and can pass by so quick. It is a test from Allah and theres no time for feeling depressed.
I often got this feeling of depression but i used my desires to overcome it. If i ever felt down i would listen to music, watch pointless TV shows, talk to my best friends who were mainly boys, smoke, go out, dance until i dropped. Yes all this and more filled my time. As i stopped all of these things and threw them out of my life, i felt my self become a different person. I'm guessing people began to think i was sad, talking to most friends was pointless as they always questioned me and never understood my big change. Most of the things people talk about these days is always stabbing someone or other in the back. I feel no use talking to them or anyone i don't know why i want to be alone but i would never truly wish for that, deep down i don't want to be alone. People around me are telling me my depression is here because im not living my life anymore thatI have become to engrossed into Islam and that i need to balance things out. I must be doing something wrong, i know i am i just want to life for Allah and nothing else. I have lost interest in everything besides those things that bring me closer to Allah. I am from a Muslim family and they tell me im to extreme. To be honest i really don't have anyone to tell this to and anyone who would give me real advise.

when i do a sin it eats me up so much, its so easy to back bite someone when everyone around you is doing the same even if its just that little laugh. I hate my self for falling into these evil traps around me.

I don't know what i want and what to do.

I think im just looking for Mohammed's (peace be upon him) character , in someone else because i miss him, and i can't find him.
Reply

mahi
12-03-2009, 12:58 AM
It's quite cool to be down whenever one sins, as atleast its a good sign that you are down with backbiting. Rather than being down, be happy that you are able to know that it is wrong. I'm sure many would love to be able to be the same..

It's sad that the person passed away. And everyone feels lonely. But don't, as you know Allah is there. And whatever you do, wherever you go and whatever hardships you face, take comfort that Allah has the power to help you.

This isn't really good advice, but I'd may be suggest you spend a lot of time if you have it doing something that'll benefit a lot of people. Like a small charity project or some kind of idea you may have. Or even things like running a blog online; just stuff that keeps you busy and Inshallah you will have many great people around you.
Reply

Ansariyah
12-03-2009, 09:28 PM
I can't imagine a more horrifying pain than that of losing someone u love, to death or distance theres no worse pain.

I can only tell u wat I tell myself, that InshaAllah one day we'll meet them in Jannah. I also know that they are with the best of those who protect.. Allah & his angels who wrong none.

This is ur test u have to keep on moving, May Allah end ur suffering n replace it wit happiness ameen.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
12-03-2009, 10:27 PM
My depression is not because i lost him, when i feel depressed i just miss him.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
12-03-2009, 11:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
My depression is not because i lost him, when i feel depressed i just miss him.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, The depressed person is the one who has no one to rely on and therefore feels alone and isolated. If one relies on a human then one will inevitabley be let down in some way or another. But if puts their full hopes, wishes, dreams, trust and relies on Allah 100% then how can anyone ever feel let down or alone or isolated?

If we truly love Rasulallah (Pbuh) then let us imitate him in every aspect of his life as in let us implement as many sunnah's as possible in our daily lives. That is how we can show our true love for him and whatever he did or said was not from him but from Allah so we would live everyday according to how Almighty Allah wants us to live our daily lives.

It is a sign of imaan (faith) that we feel at loss when we sin but we should follow this feeling of loss and sorrow with sincere repentance and hope of his mercy. If we don't hope for his mercy then we are unmindful of one of the biggest attributes of Allah and that is his mercy and forgiveness. We should fear him and at the same time have hope for his mercy and love him more than anyone in this universe for he loves us more than anyone can imagine and he is truly there for us but let us please him as much as we can and let us realise that by being down and depressed we are at loss because we are not achieving anything. It is shaythan who wants us to lose hope and be depressed so that we can waste our precious time but once out time is gone we cannot gain it back. These seconds that are ticking by they are gone forever so why let these seconds tick by without making the best use of our time?

One should also help ones parents as much as possible because after Salah helping ones parents especially ones mother is the greatest of deeds aswell as keeping together the ties of kinship. So never should one cut themselves off from ones family for this will cause us to go further away from Allah.

Before we do any act we should always think is this act going to benefit us or will we be at loss by doing it? If we think like this through our daily lives then it will significantly reduce the amount of sins we commit during the day and also help us to make the best use of our precious time.

Self reflection is extremly important and we should at the end of each day reflect on the good and bad deeds we have commited and write down what we can do to better ourselves the next day. This way we will keep improving but without self reflection and self evaluation how can we improve ourselves?

This is a perfect tool to help us self evaluate everyday!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html


Let us try our best to enjoin good and forbin evil wherever we are and whoever were with. If we see or hear backbiting and slander then let us forbid evil ina gentle manner using wisdom but just being down about it and letting it happen will not help or benefit us or them. If they take it in a bad way then let it be for we are only informers we cannot guide anyone. If we do our part and leave it to Allah and make dua for the people concerned then this is the best we can do and the best attitude to have rather than letting it affect our state of mind which will have detrimental affects on our daily worship of Allah.

Whatever has happened in the past has happened and cannot be changed so it is pointless reflecting on it but we should actually than Allah for getting us out of that situation because if we look around us there are countless people or are still in that situation! Let us be thankful an appreciative to Allah for getting us out of that lifestyle and helping us on our way to go towards him. But we have to be strong and focus our minds on our ultimate goal. Our ultimate goal in this life is to fulfill our obligations and towards Allah and please him as much as we can until our last breath.

Let the past be and let us move forward because being stuck in the past is pointless and will not benefit us in anyway shape or form. Let us live everyday our Rasulallah (Pbuh) did and let us worship Allah as much as we can and find pleasure in doing good deeds. If we commit sins then let us regret them and repent sincerely hoping for the mercy and forgiveness of Allah. Let us live with fear of Allah aswell as love for him and hope for his mercy and forgiveness. We have to balance all these feelings and change our mindset so that we can live everyday the best we can in order to please Allah!

Let us live our lives with ihsaan which is the highest state of spirituality and that is to live our life everyday imagining Allah is watching us in every action we do. This is not an over night process but we can achieve it and in this way we will be more mindful of every action that we do aswell as doing every good deed with so much more pleasure, peace and tranquility.

It is ONLY the constant remembrance of Allah that will cause true peace and tranquility in our hearts and contentment and contentment leads to true happiness!
Reply

happy
12-04-2009, 10:30 AM
25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety

by Abdul Malik Mujahid
Stress is life. Stress is anything that causes mental, physical, or spiritual tension. There is no running away from it. All that matters is how you deal with it. This article does not deal with the factors of stress, anxiety, and depression, nor is it a clinical advice. If you feel depressed, you are not alone. It has been estimated that 75 to 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians in America are for stress-related problems. This is why it is wise to consult a doctor if you are having physical symptoms of stress. However, here are some tips that can help from a spiritual perspective. Please send us your feedback so that we can improve this article Insha Allah.

Torture. Beatings. Loss of property. The death of loved ones. These were just some of the enormous challenges the Muslims of Makkah faced in the seventh century following their acceptance of Islam in fiercely tribal and polytheistic Makkah.

Detention. Harassment. Beatings. Discrimination. Loss of Job. Profiling. Hate Crimes. Constant media attention. Surveillance. These are just some of the challenges Muslims in America today face, post-9/11. Like our predecessors in Makkah, we have begun to face great stress, anxiety, and pressure, more than ever in our recent history on this continent, although Muslims who were brought here as slaves faced worse than what we can even imagine.

Ask Him. He Listens: Dua

Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication). Look at it as another reason to submit to God and be in Sajdah (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah. God listens and already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want. The Prophet said: Allah is angry with those who do not ask Him for anything (Tirmidhi).

The Prophet once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai). He would also regularly ask for God’s forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness (Bukhari).

Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas. Dua is the essence of worship (the Prophet as quoted in Tirmidhi).

"Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds. Do not make mischief on the earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear. And longing (in your hearts): for the mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good" (Quran 7:55-56).

Tie your Camel: Do your Part

One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?" The Bedouin answered, "I put my trust in Allah." The Prophet then said, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah" (Tirmidhi).

Muslims must never become fatalistic. Although we know only Allah is in control and that He has decreed all things, we are each responsible for making the right choices and doing the right thing in all situations of our lives. We must take action (link to planning articles on SV). We must work to alleviate the hardships we, our families and our communities face.

Ask yourself the following questions if you are worried about the state of the world: are you part of the peace movement? Is your Masjid part of the peace movement? Are you part of an interfaith group with an agenda of peace and justice? Are you working with a group fighting discrimination? If your answer is no, it is time that you sat down to plan your share of time and money in finding solutions to the problems you face. "Verily Allah does not change men’s condition unless they change their inner selves" (Quran 13: 11).

Turn each worry into a Dua and each Dua into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.

Remember that human responsibility is limited

While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that you don't control the outcome of events. Even the Prophets did not control the outcome of their efforts. Some were successful, others were not. Once you have done your duty, leave the results to Allah. Regardless of the results of your efforts, you will be rewarded for the part you have played.

However, never underestimate your abilities. Understand the concept of Barakah (blessings from Allah) and remember that Allah can and Insha Allah will expand them if you are sincerely exerting your energies for the right path.

Leave the world behind you five times a day

Use the five daily prayers as a means to become more Hereafter-oriented and less attached to this temporary world. Start distancing yourself as soon as you hear Adhan, the call to prayer. When you perform Wudu, keep repeating Shahada, the declaration of faith, as water drops slip down your face, hands, arms, and hair. When you stand ready to pray, mentally prepare yourself to leave this world and all of its worries and stresses behind you.

Of course, Shaytan will try to distract you during prayer. But whenever this happens, go back and remember Allah. The more you return, the more Allah will reward you for it. Also, make sure your Sajdas (prostrations) are talking Sajdas, in which you are really connecting to God and seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking His forgiveness. (link to Sajda article…ramadan page)

Seek help through Sabr

Seek help through Sabr and Salat (Quran 2:45). This instruction from Allah provides us with two critical tools that can ease our worries and pain. Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stressbusters. Sabr is often translated as patience but it is not just that. It includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focussed struggle to achieve one’s goal. Unlike patience, which implies resignation, the concept of Sabr includes a duty to remain steadfast to achieve your goals despite all odds.

Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. ‘We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances’ is the mantra of many modern-day self-help books. Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.

Excuse Me! You are Not Running the World, He is.

It is important to remind ourselves that we don’t control all the variables in the world. God does. He is the Wise, the All-Knowing. Sometimes our limited human faculties are not able to comprehend His wisdom behind what happens to us and to others, but knowing that He is in control and that as human beings we submit to His Will, enriches our humanity and enhances our obedience (Uboodiah in Arabic) towards him. Read the story of the encounter of Moses with the mysteries behind God’s decision (Quran: 18:60-82). Familiarize yourself with God's 99 Names, which are also known as His Attributes. It is a powerful way of knowing Him.

"God-there is no deity save Him, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsistent Fount of All being. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. His is all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth. Who is there that could intercede with Him, unless it be by His leave? He knows all that lies open before men and all that is hidden from them, whereas they cannot attain to aught of His knowledge save that which He wills them to attain. His eternal power overspreads the heavens and the earth, and their upholding wearies Him not. And He alone is truly exalted, tremendous." (Quran 2:255).

The Prophet recommended reading this verse, known as Ayat al kursi, after each prayer, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him. Once Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, approached the Prophet during a difficult time and he found the Prophet in Sajda, where he kept repeating "Ya Hayy Ya Qayyum", words which are part of this verse.

Birds Don’t Carry their Food

Allah is al Razzaq (the Provider). "How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance? It is Allah Who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows all things (Quran 29:60)." By reminding yourself that He is the Provider, you will remember that getting a job or providing for your family in these economically and politically challenging times, when Muslims are often the last to be hired and the first to be fired, is in God’s Hands, not yours. As Allah says in the Quran: "And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (Quran 65:3).

God controls Life and Death

If you fear for your physical safety and security, remember that only Allah gives life and takes it back and, that He has appointed the time for it. No one can harm you except if Allah wills. As He says in the Quran: "Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!" (Quran 4:78).

Remember that life is short

It's easy to get caught up in our own stress and anxiety. However, if we remember that our life is short and temporary, and that the everlasting life is in the Hereafter, this will put our worries in perspective.

This belief in the transitory nature of the life of this world reminds us that whatever difficulties, trials, anxieties, and grief we suffer in this world are, Insha Allah, something we will only experience for a short period of time. And more importantly, if we handle these tests with patience, Allah will reward us for it.

Do Zikr, Allah, Allah!

"… without doubt in the remembrance (Zikr) of Allah do hearts find tranquility" (Quran 13:28).

If you commute, use your time in Zikr. Pick any Tasbeeh and do that instead of listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Maybe you can divide it up between Zikr and planning. Personally, I recite the Tasbeeh of "Subhana Allahe wa be hamdihi, subhan Allahil Azeem" 100 times as I drive. The Prophet taught us these two short phrases which are easy to say but will weigh heavy on our scale of good deeds in the Hereafter.

When your heart feels heavy with stress or grief, remember Allah and surround yourself with His Zikr. Zikr refers to all forms of the remembrance of Allah, including Salat, Tasbeeh, Tahmeed, Tahleel, making supplication (Dua), and reading Quran.

"And your Lord says: ‘Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)…" (Quran 40:60)

By remembering Allah in the way He has taught us to, we are more likely to gain acceptance of our prayers and His Mercy in times of difficulty. We are communicating with the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with our difficulties.

"Remember Me, and I shall remember you; be grateful to Me, and deny Me not" (Quran 2:152).

Relying on Allah: Tawakkul

When you awaken in the morning, thank Allah for giving you life after that short death called sleep. When you step out of your home, say 'in Your Name Allah, I put my trust in Allah, and there is no power or force except with Allah' (Bismillahi Tawakal to al Allah wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah). At night, remember Allah, with His praises on your lips.

Once you have established a plan you intend to follow through on to deal with a specific issue or problem in your life, put your trust in the most Wise and the All-Knowing. "When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah" (Quran 3: 159).

Rely on Allah by constantly remembering Him throughout your day. When you lay down to sleep, remember that sleep is death. That is why one of the recommended supplications before going to sleep is "with Your (Allah's) Name I die and become alive".

Connect with other human beings

You are not alone. Muslims are not alone. We are not suffering in silence. There are millions of good people who are not Muslim with beautiful hearts and minds. These are people who have supported us, individually and collectively, post-9/11, by checking up on us and making sure we are safe. These are individuals and organizations who have spoken up in defense of Muslims as we endured harassment and discrimination.

We must think of them, talk to them, connect with them, and pray for them. Through our connections, we will break the chain of isolation that leads to depression and anxiety.

Compare your dining table with that of those who don't have as much as you do

The Prophet said: Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects (so that you may thank Allah for His blessings) (Bukhari, Muslim).

Next time you sit down to eat, eye the table carefully. Check out the selection of food, the quality, the taste, the quantity, and then think of the millions of others who don't have even half as much. The Prophet's Hadith reminds us of this so that we can appreciate and thank God for all that we have.

Also remember that the Prophet only encouraged us to compare ourselves to others in two respects: in our Islamic knowledge and level of belief in God (Deen). In these two areas, we should compare ourselves with those who have more than what we do.

Say it Loud: Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar: Takbirat & Adhan

Find a corner of a lake, go out in the wilderness, or even stand on your lawn at your home and call the Adhan with your heart. While driving, instead of listening to the same news over and over again, say Allahu Akbar as loudly as you can or as softly as you want, based on your mood. Year ago, I remember calling Adhan on a Lake Michigan shore in Chicago after sunset as the water gushed against my knees. I was calling it for myself. There was no one else accept the waves after waves of water with their symphony. It was relaxing and meaningful. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.

Pray in congregation (Jamat)

Pray with other people instead of alone. If you can't pray all five prayers in congregation, at least find one or two prayers you can pray with others. If you are away, establish Jamat in your own family. During the Prophet's time, even though the Muslims endured great persecution, including physical beatings, they would sometimes meet on the side of a mountain or valley and tried to pray together. This is a great morale booster.

How is your Imam's Dua?

Does the Imam at your local mosque make Dua silently or out loud? Ask him to supplicate with the whole congregation. Suggest Duas for him to make. Ask him to make Dua for other people.

Work for the Unity of Muslims

Bringing Muslims together will not only help the Muslims, but it will also encourage you to focus your energies on something constructive versus zeroing in on and consistently fretting about difficulties you are going through.

Invite Muslims from other ethnic groups to your functions. Visit Masjids other than yours in your city. When you meet a Muslim leader, after thanking him for his efforts, ask him what he is doing for Muslim unity. Ask Imams to make Dua for this. These are just small ways you can help yourself and the Muslim community.

Sleep the way the Prophet slept

End your day on a positive note. Make Wudu, then think of your day. Thank Allah for all the good things you accomplished, like Zikr and Salat. Ask yourself what you did today to bring humanity together and what you did to help Muslims become servants of humanity. For everything positive, say Alhamdu lillah (Praise be to Allah). For everything negative say Astaghfirullah wa atoobo ilayk (I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to You [Allah]). Recite the last two chapters of the Quran, thinking and praying as you turn on your right side with your hand below your right cheek, the way the Prophet used to sleep. Then close your day with the name of Allah on your tongue. Insha Allah, you will have a good, restful night.

Begin the Day on a Positive Note

Get up early. Get up thanking God that He has given you another day. Alhamdu lillahil lazi ahyana bada ma amatana, wa ilaihin Nushoor (Praise be to Allah Who gave us life after death and unto Him will be the return). Invest in an audio tape driven alarm clock so you can get up to the melody of the Quran. Or Let Dawud Wharnsby's joyful notes put you in a good mood. Sing along if you like. Develop your to do list for the day if you didn't do it the night before. Begin with the name of Allah, with Whose name nothing in the heavens or the earth can hurt you. He is the Highest and the Greatest. (Bismillahillazi la yazurru maa ismihi shaiun fil arze wa la fis samae, wahuwal Alee ul Azeem). The Prophet used to say this after every Fajr and Maghrib prayers.

Avoid Media Overexposure: Switch from News to Books

Don't spend too much time checking out the news on the radio, television or internet. Spend more time reading good books and journals. When you listen to the persistent barrage of bad news, especially relating to Muslims nowadays, you feel not only depressed, but powerless. Cut down media time to reduce your stress and anxiety. It's important to know what's going on but not to an extent that it ruins your day or your mood.

Pray for Others to Heal Yourself.

The Prophet was always concerned about other people, Muslims and non-Muslims, and would regularly pray for them. Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. The Prophet has said that praying for someone who is not present increases love.

Make the Quran your Partner

Reading and listening to the Quran will help refresh our hearts and our minds. Recite it out loud or in a low voice. Listen to it in the car. When you are praying Nafl or extra prayers, pick it up and use it to recite portions of the Quran you are not as familiar with. Connecting to the Quran means connecting to God. Let it be a means to heal your heart of stress and worries. Invest in different recordings of the Quran and their translations.

"O humanity! There has come to you a direction from your Lord and a cure for all [the ills] in men’s hearts - and for those who believe, a Guidance and a Mercy" (Quran 10:57).

Be thankful to Allah

"If you are grateful, I will give you more" (Quran 14:7).

Counting our blessings helps us not only be grateful for what we have, but it also reminds us that we are so much better off than millions of others, whether that is in terms of our health, family, financial situation, or other aspects of our life. And being grateful for all we have helps us maintain a positive attitude in the face of worries and challenges we are facing almost daily.

Ideals: One step at a time

Ideals are wonderful things to pursue. But do that gradually. Think, prioritize, plan, and move forward. One step at a time.

Efforts not Results Count in the Eyes of Allah

Our success depends on our sincere efforts to the best of our abilities. It is the mercy of Allah that He does not demand results, Alhamdu lillah. He is happy if He finds us making our best sincere effort. Thank you Allah!
Reply

seekingsolace
12-08-2009, 05:40 AM
Having lost my husband, I completely feel your pain. There are times when I feel okay, and there are times when I just sit in the dark and cry. I compare it to standing in the ocean. The sadness comes in waves, some small and some that threaten to drag you under. I do not have the wisdom and knowledge of the previous posters, but I can tell you what has worked for me.

1) Force yourself to go out and be with others. I find that being with the other sisters at the masjid is very healing. The older sisters who have also lost their husbands are especially supportive, and watch me carefully for signs of sadness. Their hugs and kind words do not bring him back, but pain shared is pain halved.

2) Reach out to those who have recently lost someone. Not only will you be doing a very good thing, helping them in their time of need will soothe your soul. It turns your focus outwards instead of inwards. More importantly, it helps you realize that Allah has a plan for everything that happens in this world. Sometimes your experience can give you just the right words to say to another, words you never would have understood much less been able to say otherwise.

3) As another mentioned, do good deeds for the one you lost. Recitations and du'a are great especially if you don't feel like going out. However, you may find that doing something more tangible like volunteering for a charity or feeding the homeless helps your own sadness more. When you are grieving, it is easier to deal with the concrete than the relatively abstract. Seeing the immediate benefit of the good deed in the lives of others distracts you from the pain.

4) Pray. Allah knows your pain and loves you more than you will ever know. Pour your heart out to Him. Lean on Him alone, and He will give you the strength you need to live. We cannot see the big picture, the whole plan, but He can. Trust Him...really learn to trust Him instead of just saying the words. When you completely submit to Him, trusting Him totally, you will find a peace and freedom that you never would have found had this not happened. Allow this sad event to be a positive force in your life. Yes, you will still miss him, but with time that will change from melancholy to wistfulness to a smile of remembrance, knowing that indeed one day you will be reunited.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
12-12-2009, 04:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by seekingsolace
Having lost my husband, I completely feel your pain. There are times when I feel okay, and there are times when I just sit in the dark and cry. I compare it to standing in the ocean. The sadness comes in waves, some small and some that threaten to drag you under. I do not have the wisdom and knowledge of the previous posters, but I can tell you what has worked for me.

1) Force yourself to go out and be with others. I find that being with the other sisters at the masjid is very healing. The older sisters who have also lost their husbands are especially supportive, and watch me carefully for signs of sadness. Their hugs and kind words do not bring him back, but pain shared is pain halved.

2) Reach out to those who have recently lost someone. Not only will you be doing a very good thing, helping them in their time of need will soothe your soul. It turns your focus outwards instead of inwards. More importantly, it helps you realize that Allah has a plan for everything that happens in this world. Sometimes your experience can give you just the right words to say to another, words you never would have understood much less been able to say otherwise.

3) As another mentioned, do good deeds for the one you lost. Recitations and du'a are great especially if you don't feel like going out. However, you may find that doing something more tangible like volunteering for a charity or feeding the homeless helps your own sadness more. When you are grieving, it is easier to deal with the concrete than the relatively abstract. Seeing the immediate benefit of the good deed in the lives of others distracts you from the pain.

4) Pray. Allah knows your pain and loves you more than you will ever know. Pour your heart out to Him. Lean on Him alone, and He will give you the strength you need to live. We cannot see the big picture, the whole plan, but He can. Trust Him...really learn to trust Him instead of just saying the words. When you completely submit to Him, trusting Him totally, you will find a peace and freedom that you never would have found had this not happened. Allow this sad event to be a positive force in your life. Yes, you will still miss him, but with time that will change from melancholy to wistfulness to a smile of remembrance, knowing that indeed one day you will be reunited.
salaam sister
thank you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kS7_z1b5Mg
Reply

PersiaBeFree
01-04-2010, 08:53 PM
If you're in the North, this time of year is always depressing (or if you are often depressed, it will be worse now). I'm pretty sure it's due to the relative lack of sunlight. It may sound trivial, but biology is important. I strongly encourage you to get enough time outdoors in the bright daylight if at all possible. It can have an incredible effect.
Reply

Grofica
01-04-2010, 09:07 PM
ok please dont take this the wrong way but have you ever thought of joining a girls group i mean for ANYTHING you just sound lonely. i know i get like that sometimes but it doesnt matter find some people who quilt, croshet (spelling?) knitt, cross stitch, sew, cook together, do arts and crafts just anything to get some sort of socialization. it doesnt have to be due to needing to be married i mean phycologists and marriage counselers always say you have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else....
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
01-04-2010, 09:08 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Here is a list of what you can do to counteract the effects of stress:

1. Increase dhikr (remembrance of Allah): "Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction (Qur'an, 13:28)."

2. Increase prayers: "O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely, Allah is with the patient (Qur'an, 2:153). "Regardless of the type of meditation, recent studies have verified the physiological effects of meditation. Most of those mediations consist in focusing on something, repeating some words and breathing (Greenberg, p.142, 143).

3. Perform ablutions: The most important component of relaxation is what Hans Loehr calls "the rituals of success." These rituals may be as simple as making ablution; yet, they must be performed properly for it is not enough to pass water on the body parts - those parts must be massed.

4. Ask for forgiveness: Even if a person has not done anything wrong, he must insure the forgiveness of Allah. "Then I said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord; surely, He is the most Forgiving'" (Qur'an, 71:10).

5. Recite the Qur'an: The Prophet (SAW) said, "… Qur'an is a remedy for illnesses of the mind" (Bukhari). "The echo of sound has a medical effect and is now widely utilized," says Dr. Greenberg. "The recitation of or listening to the Qur'an has an effect on the body, the heart and the mind! It is said that the letter Alif echoes to the heart and the letter Ya' to the pineal gland in the brain.

Dr Ahmed El Kadi of Akber Clinic (Panama City, FL) conducted and published the effects of listening to Qur'anic recitation on physiological parameters (i.e., the heart, blood pressure, and muscle tension), and reported improvement in all factors, irrespective of whether the listener was a Muslim or a non-Muslim, Arab or non-Arab. Obviously, it can be postulated that those who understand and enjoy the recitation with a belief in it will get maximum benefits," writes Dr Athar.

6. Make the hereafter one's main concern: "Whoever has the hereafter as his main concern, Allah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allah will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already predestined for him," said the Prophet (SAW). One of the greatest causes of stress is money - how to pay the loans, whether one's job will be lost, what will happen to the family if the father dies, etc.

7. Think positively: Muslims should forget about the bad things of the past and think of good things, always having hope that he can be better. Trying to change the past is a foolish and crazy waste of time, "for saying 'if only…'opens the way to Shaytan" said the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) also said, " Know that victory (achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship."

Muslims understand that there's no reason for panic in the case of crisis - no reason to be distressed or worried for we know that after hardship come ease!

8. Do not waste time on thoughts of fear or stress: "The search of time is one of the most frequent causes of stress" (Seyle, p.102). Laziness is the mother of all evils, and the Prophet (SAW) used to seek refuge in Allah from it. Understanding that this life is short and time precious, Muslims should try to work hard and pursue worthy knowledge (Munajjid).

In conclusion, a surprisingly effective remedy for stress is to "remember death". The Prophet (SAW) said, "Remember frequently the one who will destroy all your pleasures - death! For there is no one who remembers death when in straitened circumstances, but his situation will become easier…"

Here is a short and beneficial clip:

Don't be sad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48KOjsZwKso


Here are some very useful articles for you:


Overcoming tests from Allah



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...sts-from-Allah



25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety VERY GOOD THREAD



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43179


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html



Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It



http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm



Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html



VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!


http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)


My Daily Ibadah(worship) check


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html


A party in Paradise, A party in Hellfire



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39698



The Ultimate Motivation for Muslims



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49243



The State of the People of Paradise in this World



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49125


Major Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://www.inter-islam.org/faith/Majorsigns.html


Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://etori.tripod.com/dajjalsystem/judgement.html



The Life of this World and the Hereafter


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51739


Beautiful Description of Paradise in Islam


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51707


Practising az-Zuhd in the Dunya


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51738



Everything about Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh)



http://www.mohammad-pbuh.com/

(THE SEALED NECTAR)Memoirs of the Noble Prophet [pbuh]
http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/B..._tsn/index.htm
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