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Question: Is it obligatory for a woman to get married?
Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
In response to your question, we will look briefly at what some of the Muslim fuqahaa’ have written on this topic. In Mawaahib al-Jaleel it was said: “Marriage is obligatory for a woman who is unable to feed or clothe herself unless she gets married.” In al-Sharh al-Kabeer, concerning obligatory marriage it says: “If a person fears that he may commit fornication, it (marriage) is obligatory on him.” In Fath al-Wahhaab, it says: “For the woman who has (physical) desires, marriage is sunnah, just as it is for the one who needs maintenance and the one who fears being taken advantage of by immoral persons.”
In Mughni al-Muhtaaj, it says: “(Marriage) becomes waajib (obligatory) if a person fears fornication… And it was said that it becomes obligatory if a person has made a vow (nadhr) to get married.” Then concerning the ruling with regard to women: “If she needs to get married, i.e., she has physical desires, or needs maintenance, or she is afraid that immoral people may take advantage of her… it is preferable (mustahabb) for her to get married, because this will protect her religion and her chastity, and she can enjoy what her husband spends on her, and other advantages.”
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Mughni: “Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste (i.e. get married). This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
When it comes to marriage, people are of three types, one of which is those who fear that they may commit forbidden deeds if they do not get married. It is obligatory for such people to get married, according to the majority of fuqahaa’, because it is obligatory for them to make themselves chaste and protect themselves from haraam. In Subul al-Salaam it says: “Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eed said that some of the fuqahaa’ said that marriage is obligatory for the one who fears sin or hardship (because of suppressing physical desires) and is able to marry… and it is obligatory for the one who cannot avoid fornication unless he gets married.”
In Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, it says: “There is no dispute that marriage is an obligation when desire is strong. If a person has such a strong desire for women that he cannot be patient, and he can afford to pay the mahr (dowry) and support a wife, then if he does not get married, he is a sinner.”
From the above discussion, we can see a number of situations in which marriage is obligatory. You might ask: “How can we imagine a woman fulfilling this obligation when usually it is the man who goes around knocking on doors looking for a partner? This is not the woman’s role.” The answer is: what a woman can do to fulfil this command is not to refuse marriage when a suitable, compatible man comes with an offer of marriage.
Muslim women and men need to understand the high status which marriage has in Islam, so that they will be more keen to marry. There follows a useful summary on this topic by Imaam Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allaah have mercy on him), from his book al-Mughni:
The basis of the legitimacy of marriage is the Qur’aan, Sunnah and ijmaa’ (consensus of the scholars). In the Qur’aan, Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): ‘… marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:3] and ‘And marry those among you who are single and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves)…’ [al-Noor 24:32]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.” (Agreed upon). There are many other ayaat and reports like these. The Muslims agree that marriage is legitimate.
Ibn Mas’ood said: “If I only had ten days left to live, and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I was able to get married, I would do so, for fear of fitnah (temptation).”
Ibn ‘Abbaas said to Sa’eed ibn Jubayr: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are those who have more wives.” Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: “Taawoos said to me: ‘Either you get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: There is nothing stopping you from getting married but either impotence or immorality!’ According to al-Mirwadhi, Ahmad said: ‘Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. Whoever calls you not to get married is calling you to something other than Islam.’”
Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):
The benefits of marriage are many. They include: protecting one’s religion and helping one to adhere to it; protecting and taking care of women; and producing offspring and increasing the ranks of the ummah, thus achieving the pride of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), etc. [Translator’s note: there is a hadeeth which indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will feel proud of the large numbers of his ummah in the Hereaster, so Muslims are encouraged to marry and have many children.]
It should now be clear that the benefits of marriage are many. No wise Muslim woman would hesitate to get married, especially if an offer of marriage comes from a person who is strongly committed to Islam and is possessed of a good character and morals.
Is it obligatory for a woman to get married?
Question: Is it obligatory for men to get married?
Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
The ruling on marriage for men differs according to their situations and circumstances. Marriage is obligatory on the man who is able to marry and longs to get married, and fears “hardship” otherwise, because it is obligatory for him to protect himself from doing haraam deeds and to keep himself chaste – and this can only be achieved through marriage.
Al-Qurtubi said: if a person is able to marry and fears that he may be harmed or his religious commitment may be adversely affected if he remains single, the only way to prevent this harm is through marriage, and there is no difference of opinion among the scholars – they agree that marriage is obligatory on such a person.
Al-Mardaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Al-Insaaf: Part Three: the one who fears “hardship”. In the case of such a person, marriage is obligatory, and this is the unanimous opinion of the scholars… “Hardship” here means zinaa (fornication), according to the correct opinion. Or it was said that it means being doomed by committing zinaa… What is meant by “Unless he fears that he may fall into committing forbidden actions” means, if he knows or thinks that he will do that. In Al-Furoo’ it says: (marriage) becomes obligatory only when he is sure that he will do that. (Al-Insaaf, part 8; Kitaab al-Nikaah, Ahkaam al-Nikaah).
If he wants to get married but is unable to spend on a wife, then he should adhere to the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33]
So he should fast a lot, because of the hadeeth narrated from Ibn Mas’ood who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young people, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it helps one to lower the gaze and protect the private parts (i.e., remain chaste). Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it is a protection for him.”
‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: “Nothing is stopping you from getting married except incapacity or immorality.” (See Fiqh Al-Sunnah, 2/15-17)
Marriage is obligatory on anyone who is single and committing sin such as looking or kissing. If a man or women knows or thinks it most likely that if he does not get married he will commit zinaa – or whatever comes under the same rulings or is similar to it, such as masturbation, then marriage is obligatory. It is still obligatory even if a person knows that he will still commit sin after marriage, because once he is married he will be less likely to commit sin, because he will be distracted from it at least part of the time, whereas if he remains single he will commit sin all the time.
Anyone who looks at the state of things in our times, how there is so much immorality and so much temptation, will be convinced that the obligation to marry is even more important now than at any time in the past. We ask Allaah to purify our hearts, keep us away from haraam things and help us to be chaste. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
When is it obligatory for men to get married?
and Allah knows best