Am i wrong or right?

[nilufer]

Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wABARAKATOU,

Sisters and brothers iam really writing with my tears and i really lost and dont know what to do

Today my husband came back from work and as always i prepare food for him and we start eating then he start telling that his friend lost the job because of a ***** girl shes working with them and i really feel sorry for the boy

Second he said that some boys at work asking me if there is an attaractive girl and she asking me to have a sex with her could you accept that and i replied no because iam married and i love so much my wife

To be honest while my husband is talking i felt lost and sheytan start playing with my mind and i fight with my husband accusing him with having sex with girls at work and he start crying and saying No

I really dont know what to do now , I feel i wanna cheat on him , I feel hes guilty but i have no prrof please iam wrong or right ?

Jazakoum ALLAH kheir

[nilufer]

[QUOTE=nilufer;1254647]Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wABARAKATOU,

Sisters and brothers iam really writing with my tears and i really lost and dont know what to do

Today my husband came back from work and as always i prepare food for him and we start eating then he start telling that his friend lost the job because of a ***** girl shes working with them and i really feel sorry for the boy

Second he said that some boys at work asking me if there is an attaractive girl and she asking me to have a sex with her could you accept that and i replied no because iam married and i love so much my wife

To be honest while my husband is talking i felt lost and sheytan start playing with my mind and i fight with my husband accusing him with having sex with girls at work and he start crying and saying No

I really dont know what to do now , I feel hes guilty but i have no prrof please iam wrong or right ?

Jazakoum ALLAH kheir

[Abdul Qadir]

i can't seem to get exactly what ur trying to say..ur husband's colleague lost his job because of a girl who works in the same office? u mean he got fired for adultery? and now, ur husband is being tempted by the girl? and ur not sure whether he had committed adultery with her? and he also is not sure about himself? hmm...

[جوري]

Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wABARAKATOU,

Sisters and brothers iam really writing with my tears and i really lost and dont know what to do

Today my husband came back from work and as always i prepare food for him and we start eating then he start telling that his friend lost the job because of a ***** girl shes working with them and i really feel sorry for the boy

Second he said that some boys at work asking me if there is an attaractive girl and she asking me to have a sex with her could you accept that and i replied no because iam married and i love so much my wife

To be honest while my husband is talking i felt lost and sheytan start playing with my mind and i fight with my husband accusing him with having sex with girls at work and he start crying and saying No

I really dont know what to do now , I feel i wanna cheat on him , I feel hes guilty but i have no prrof please iam wrong or right ?

Jazakoum ALLAH kheir

It seems counter intuitive to be offered a girl for sex and then boast to your wife about it? If you were cheating would you casually point it out to your husband? I think you have taken what could potentially have been a tender moment between the two of you, where your husband professed his love and fidelity you and turned it into something grotesque.. and on top of everything you want to repel alleged evil with more evil? sob7an Allah...

I think you need to reflect on your reaction to this situation and see if there is something to be learned from it about trust..

and Allah swt knows best

:wa:

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[nilufer]

i can't seem to get exactly what ur trying to say..ur husband's colleague lost his job because of a girl who works in the same office? u mean he got fired for adultery? and now, ur husband is being tempted by the girl? and ur not sure whether he had committed adultery with her? and he also is not sure about himself? hmm...

No you missunderstand my post , My husband didnt cheating on me with any girl he just told me that boys at work were asking him this question if a girl propose to him to have a sex with her would he accept or refuse and my husband said i refuse because i love so much my wife and i cannot cheat on my wife

At same time he told me about a friend and he is a boy who lost his job because of a girl at work she was making problems with him thats all

But me sheytan playing with me and i get jalous because there are girls working with my husband and i start having sheytan doubts thats all but may be iam wrong as sister Skye mention may be my husband told me like that to show his love to me but i missunderstand him

[nilufer]

It seems counter intuitive to be offered a girl for sex and then boast to your wife about it? If you were cheating would you casually point it out to your husband? I think you have taken what could potentially have been a tender moment between the two of you, where your husband professed his love and fidelity you and turned it into something grotesque.. and on top of everything you want to repel alleged evil with more evil? sob7an Allah...

I think you need to reflect on your reaction to this situation and see if there is something to be learned from it about trust..

and Allah swt knows best

:wa:

Sister Skye i think you are right may be my husband want to show me his love but i missunderstand him thats why he was crying and was telling me that i have to trust him because he loves me so much but you know sheytan can play with us and i had doubts thats all ALLAH forgive me INSHALLAH

[AnonymousPoster]

dont fall for baseless suspicion and dont let shaytaan play with your mind :)

[nilufer]

dont fall for baseless suspicion and dont let shaytaan play with your mind :)

Yes you are right and even my husband told me that he will never tell me anything happened at work and he was swearing in the quran that he have no relation with any girls just the boys at work they are stupid asking him stupid question and he answerd by No

[Alpha Dude]

I really dont know what to do now , I feel i wanna cheat on him , I feel hes guilty but i have no prrof please iam wrong or right ?

Sister, if there's a strain in your marriage, for whatever reason, do not think that you need to cheat in order to get back at him.

[Khaldun]

:sl:

By cheating on him you will make the situation worse and make him upset at you and end up in divorce, Allah will hate you and you will be distant from your Lord not to mention the hell fire in the Aakhirah.

Thoughts like these should not cross the minds of muslims.

[nilufer]

:sl:

By cheating on him you will make the situation worse and make him upset at you and end up in divorce, Allah will hate you and you will be distant from your Lord not to mention the hell fire in the Aakhirah.

Thoughts like these should not cross the minds of muslims.

You are right , Just up set talk thats all , I know i cannot do it because iam afraid from ALLAH SWT but also i blame my self because i missunderstand my husband because i know he doesnt cheat on me and hes telling me everything happened at work even he told me about the boys question but iam stuipd iam missunderstand him i hope if he can forgive me

[afzalaung]

well.. thing is...if he, even in the least manner, plans to do something like that at work, he wont even bring up this topic.
Him telling you this event just comes to show how simple he is (not to mention honest and loyal).
Rather than letting this trigger off your suspicions and wild accusative thoughts, you must appreciate it, otherwise, he might just stop sharing things with you.

[cat eyes]

:sl:i don't know why your husband told you that like what was the need for him to tell you that there is girls offering him?? :raging: what type of reaction was he expecting :hmm:

[nilufer]

:sl:i don't know why your husband told you that like what was the need for him to tell you that there is girls offering him?? :raging: what type of reaction was he expecting :hmm:

You missunderstand sister he didnt tell me girls offering him sex there is no girls offering him sex he said some boys workers at work working with him asked him if any girl asked him to make sex would he accept that and he replied them no is like men chat and my husband told me that because he tell me everything happening at work anybody tell him something hes letting me know how these boys are stupid asking stupid questions thats all but me i listen to sheytan and start making accusation by my self iam stupid but honestly i started first i told my husband that one man asked me if you are my husband and then he was up set then he said today some boys asked me this thats the story ALLAH forgive me between me and my husband we cannot keep anything between us if anybody told us something we report it to each other only yesterday i was a bit moody thats all but i understand my mistake

[Asiyah3]

You missunderstand sister he didnt tell me girls offering him sex there is no girls offering him sex he said some boys workers at work working with him asked him if any girl asked him to make sex would he accept that and he replied them no is like men chat and my husband told me that because he tell me everything happening at work anybody tell him something hes letting me know how these boys are stupid asking stupid questions thats all but me i listen to sheytan and start making accusation by my self iam stupid but honestly i started first i told my husband that one man asked me if you are my husband and then he was up set then he said today some boys asked me this thats the story ALLAH forgive me between me and my husband we cannot keep anything between us if anybody told us something we report it to each other only yesterday i was a bit moody thats all but i understand my mistake

May Allah(SWT) keep you both together

[nilufer]

May Allah(SWT) keep you both together

Sister thank you very much AMEEN and all muslims worldwide

[Aisha20]

I dont think he is doing that. He trust you and told u whats going on, if it was another person he wouldnt do that ... Feel lucky to get a husband like him.

[nilufer]

I dont think he is doing that. He trust you and told u whats going on, if it was another person he wouldnt do that ... Feel lucky to get a husband like him.

Yes sister you are right ALHAMDOLILLAH hes a good husband even he gave all the time his bank card to take any money i want and he does not asking where i spend the money only yesterday sheytan aozobillah was playing with my mind but when i think today i found out that iam stupid and sometimes i dont understand the things quickly and later on i regret thank you very much

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wABARAKATOU,

.. I feel i wanna cheat on him ,

Sis, don't fall in to the trap of Satan . Even if your husband is the most evil person in the world , you have no right to have any illegal affair.

Also as u have no proof against him , don't suspect him unnecessarily.

May Allah bless your marraige. Ameen.

[nilufer]

:wa:



Sis, don't fall in to the trap of Satan . Even if your husband is the most evil person in the world , you have no right to have any illegal affair.

Also as u have no proof against him , don't suspect him unnecessarily.

May Allah bless your marraige. Ameen.

Alaikoum Assalam Sister

It was only up set talk thats all , its not true of course iam afraid from ALLAH and i was stupid because my husband didnt do anything wrong only i was a bit stress yesterday it can happen thats sometimes we are moody and we understand the things wrong thank you very much

[جوري]

Sister Skye i think you are right may be my husband want to show me his love but i missunderstand him thats why he was crying and was telling me that i have to trust him because he loves me so much but you know sheytan can play with us and i had doubts thats all ALLAH forgive me INSHALLAH

That is a good start insha'Allah.. you appear to love him too.. difficult for me to imagine a man crying.. it must have been a tremendous moment.. insha'Allah, you'll be able to patch things and start fresh..

May Allah swt forgive us ajma3een

:wa:

[cat eyes]

You missunderstand sister he didnt tell me girls offering him sex there is no girls offering him sex he said some boys workers at work working with him asked him if any girl asked him to make sex would he accept that and he replied them no is like men chat and my husband told me that because he tell me everything happening at work anybody tell him something hes letting me know how these boys are stupid asking stupid questions thats all but me i listen to sheytan and start making accusation by my self iam stupid but honestly i started first i told my husband that one man asked me if you are my husband and then he was up set then he said today some boys asked me this thats the story ALLAH forgive me between me and my husband we cannot keep anything between us if anybody told us something we report it to each other only yesterday i was a bit moody thats all but i understand my mistake

:sl:ohh okay then it seems like shaytan is having a good old time with you then trying to mess your head up...but i believe that men who cry have something to hide :D the biggest emotion that would cause a human to cry especially for a man is pure and utter guilt :D or trying to avoid a situation where he might be questioned and he wont be able to look you in the eye anyway i suppose not every man is the same i suppose but listen be adults and don't be children try to sit down and talk through things in a calm fashion because if not it could lead to either one of you getting angry and it wont solve anything then in future you will be afraid to approach each other:wa:

[nilufer]

:sl:ohh okay then it seems like shaytan is having a good old time with you then trying to mess your head up...but i believe that men who cry have something to hide :D the biggest emotion that would cause a human to cry especially for a man is pure and utter guilt :D or trying to avoid a situation where he might be questioned and he wont be able to look you in the eye anyway i suppose not every man is the same i suppose but listen be adults and don't be children try to sit down and talk through things in a calm fashion because if not it could lead to either one of you getting angry and it wont solve anything then in future you will be afraid to approach each other:wa:

I think you missunderstand again my husband didnt cried because i questioned him plus i didnt questioned him because there is a nothing to questuioned him about , My husband was cried of his luck to have a stupid wife like me who accused him without any proof and accused him for nothing all he was telling me is about the boys at work and their stupid question to him thats all its my fault i told him that night that one man out side asked me if iam married , im gonna tell you something betwee me and my husdband we are like children we cry for every little things and we dont hide anything from each other thats why he was reported to me even what the boys told him at work if hes guilty what for he will reported to me listen sister iam not that stupid because i know iam only having wishpers from sheytan all the time .

[Khaldun]

:sl:

Just to clarify men do cry, just not infront of women thats all.

[Blackpool]

Jealousy over him working with another girl? You're then thinking about cheating on him because you are worried that he maybe doing things with this girl? That's a strange mindset. The majority of women get jealous and most of the time for silly reasons but it needs to be reminded that this is modern life. Men and women work side by side to earn their wage, to return home and provide for their family. Work isn't a place for courting or at least it shouldn't be.

[Abdul Qadir]

You are right , Just up set talk thats all , I know i cannot do it because iam afraid from ALLAH SWT but also i blame my self because i missunderstand my husband because i know he doesnt cheat on me and hes telling me everything happened at work even he told me about the boys question but iam stuipd iam missunderstand him i hope if he can forgive me

ur husband loves u...and ur prolly just concerned about the type of ppl he is with and their influence upon him..dun worry...ur husband loves u and no harm will befall on ur relationship insyallah...

[cat eyes]

:sl:

Just to clarify men do cry, just not infront of women thats all.

awwwwwwwww hehe :wub:

[cat eyes]

I think you missunderstand again my husband didnt cried because i questioned him plus i didnt questioned him because there is a nothing to questuioned him about , My husband was cried of his luck to have a stupid wife like me who accused him without any proof and accused him for nothing all he was telling me is about the boys at work and their stupid question to him thats all its my fault i told him that night that one man out side asked me if iam married , im gonna tell you something betwee me and my husdband we are like children we cry for every little things and we dont hide anything from each other thats why he was reported to me even what the boys told him at work if hes guilty what for he will reported to me listen sister iam not that stupid because i know iam only having wishpers from sheytan all the time .

:sl:seems ive misunderstood for the second time :D hummm i think you need to trust your husband and kill that jealousy or it will kill your marriage

[Muslimlearner]

Pls sis Nulifer-do not ask him to swear in Qur'an:it is wrong!

and,yeah:what shaytaan loves best is arguments between husband and wife.

Muslim men do cry in mosques..fear,hope,hearing Qur'an,making du'a ..
I did not see men in other religion to cry..
Subhan-Allah!

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wABARAKATOU,

Sisters and brothers iam really writing with my tears and i really lost and dont know what to do

Today my husband came back from work and as always i prepare food for him and we start eating then he start telling that his friend lost the job because of a ***** girl shes working with them and i really feel sorry for the boy

Second he said that some boys at work asking me if there is an attaractive girl and she asking me to have a sex with her could you accept that and i replied no because iam married and i love so much my wife

To be honest while my husband is talking i felt lost and sheytan start playing with my mind and i fight with my husband accusing him with having sex with girls at work and he start crying and saying No

I really dont know what to do now , I feel i wanna cheat on him , I feel hes guilty but i have no prrof please iam wrong or right ?

Jazakoum ALLAH kheir

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister you should be happy that your husband has opened up to you and is so honest to you about what happens to him in his life. He has shared this sensative subject with you because your his other half and he loves you and if he can't share these things with you then who can he share these things with?

I think you should apologise to your husband and re-assure him that you want him to continue to tell you everything that goes in his life regardless of whether or not it will upset or hurt you because if you continue reacting like this wherenever he tells you things like this then surely he will hesitate in telling you things like this in the future as he will not want to upset you or want to cause you stress.

You should think to yourself that he did'nt have to tell you these things but he wanted to and you should really be flattered that he did because it shows he feels close to you.

You should make him feel comfortable in telling you everything that goes on in his life regardless of how upset it would make you because transparency in a marriage is very important and you should be happy he is wanting to share these things with you and not the opposite. It shows he wants to share everything with you and in a marriage this is a very good thing.

You should always have FULL trust and faith in him and also show him that you trust him. You cannot suspect him without any valid reason or solid evidance.

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister you should be happy that your husband has opened up to you and is so honest to you about what happens to him in his life. He has shared this sensative subject with you because your his other half and he loves you and if he can't share these things with you then who can he share these things with?

I think you should apologise to your husband and re-assure him that you want him to continue to tell you everything that goes in his life regardless of whether or not it will upset or hurt you because if you continue reacting like this wherenever he tells you things like this then surely he will hesitate in telling you things like this in the future as he will not want to upset you or want to cause you stress.

You should think to yourself that he did'nt have to tell you these things but he wanted to and you should really be flattered that he did because it shows he feels close to you.

You should make him feel comfortable in telling you everything that goes on in his life regardless of how upset it would make you because transparency in a marriage is very important and you should be happy he is wanting to share these things with you and not the opposite. It shows he wants to share everything with you and in a marriage this is a very good thing.

You should always have FULL trust and faith in him and also show him that you trust him. You cannot suspect him without any valid reason or solid evidance.

Brother Hamza you are right i was totally wrong sometimes i have doubts even of my self and my family and my friends even without reason iam sick of doubts of people and now i start with my husband and i feel guilty but i cannot help it sheytan making me like that even with my self i did apologize to my husband and he accept it ALHAMDOLLIALLAH because he knows i have this problem of doubt and he told me that he will help me to cure it INSHALLAH , I really regret what i have done to him believe me brother if you see what hes doing to me you will really hate me because i really dont deserve a good man like him hes working hard to make money to give it to me even hes bank card is with me all the time he buy everything to me to make me happy and even he does not buy anything to himself same clothes all the time hes wearing at work he thinks to make me happy more than anybody else even more than himself hes telling me everything happened hes fear from ALLAH SWT hes crying when he listen to the quran or when you talk about the religion hes very sensitive man , iam so lucky to have him but iam stupid to not understand him , I trust him but sometimes i missunderstand what he is telling me and thats my problem not only with him but with all the people around me , i always hurted the people feelings and make them crying without any reason and without understanding them and later i wake up and i regret then i say sorry when sorry is so late but this is my sickness and please pray for me ALLAH SWT cure me and all people INSHALLAH

[nilufer]

:sl:ohh okay then it seems like shaytan is having a good old time with you then trying to mess your head up...but i believe that men who cry have something to hide :D the biggest emotion that would cause a human to cry especially for a man is pure and utter guilt :D or trying to avoid a situation where he might be questioned and he wont be able to look you in the eye anyway i suppose not every man is the same i suppose but listen be adults and don't be children try to sit down and talk through things in a calm fashion because if not it could lead to either one of you getting angry and it wont solve anything then in future you will be afraid to approach each other:wa:

You are wrong when a man is guilty he never cry because for his dignity but he can do something like confront you and rasing his voice and telling you iam not guilty and if you dont trust me so no need to stay together thats the guilty man believe me this is my second marriage and i have experience with the husbands but in my situation i was stupid and also because iam sick of doubts not only with my husband but with all people i hurted their feelings and make them cry and later i said sorry when sorry is so late , I have a problem with missunderstanding the people around me because sheytan make me like that , i HOPE allah swt CURE ME AND ALL THE PEOPLE inshallah

[Grofica]

i know reading the posts that he was just trying to show you how much he loves you but honestly if my husband told me something like that i would probably be a little... uhmmm upset too... maybe not that extreame but you can garauntee i wouldnt be a happy camper... :(

i guess thats the difference between men and women... i see how it could be sweet but i would rather get flowers and pretty words written on the card then hear that... just my personal opinion...

[Hamza Asadullah]

Brother Hamza you are right i was totally wrong sometimes i have doubts even of my self and my family and my friends even without reason iam sick of doubts of people and now i start with my husband and i feel guilty but i cannot help it sheytan making me like that even with my self i did apologize to my husband and he accept it ALHAMDOLLIALLAH because he knows i have this problem of doubt and he told me that he will help me to cure it INSHALLAH , I really regret what i have done to him believe me brother if you see what hes doing to me you will really hate me because i really dont deserve a good man like him hes working hard to make money to give it to me even hes bank card is with me all the time he buy everything to me to make me happy and even he does not buy anything to himself same clothes all the time hes wearing at work he thinks to make me happy more than anybody else even more than himself hes telling me everything happened hes fear from ALLAH SWT hes crying when he listen to the quran or when you talk about the religion hes very sensitive man , iam so lucky to have him but iam stupid to not understand him , I trust him but sometimes i missunderstand what he is telling me and thats my problem not only with him but with all the people around me , i always hurted the people feelings and make them crying without any reason and without understanding them and later i wake up and i regret then i say sorry when sorry is so late but this is my sickness and please pray for me ALLAH SWT cure me and all people INSHALLAH

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister it is clear that you have insecurity issues. This may have been triggered off by an experience that happened in your life that has made you like this. I would recommend that you see a counsellor because you may have past issues which have'nt yet been resolved in your head and still need to be tackled, and once this is done then these insecurities can be eradicated inshallah. This would be good for you and also ask of Allah to help you.

Also sister remember that shaythan can only whisper in your ear but it is your choice what happens after that. Next time whenever any situation arises just tell yourself to stop and think so that you don't over react and blow the situation out of proportion. Please also remember me in your dua's. Allah hafiz

[Humbler_359]

:sl:

From now on, I think it is better for you and husband to avoid suspect. It is insecurity and panic.

Built TRUST
Built GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Built SMILE more
Built Love :embarrass


My advice is possible for your husband to move to different job and different location. This will reduce your worried. Again, trust your husband. Don't make him too stress and you.

[Khaldun]

:sl:

Having read the posts I realise many people might come across as harsh towards sister nulifer.

Sister, we all make mistakes alhamdulilah that Allah made you realise your mistake, now work from there and try to be a support for your husband.

You are a good person and I ask Allah to help you in whatever you do and keep your marriage happy.

[nilufer]

:sl:

From now on, I think it is better for you and husband to avoid suspect. It is insecurity and panic.

Built TRUST
Built GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Built SMILE more
Built Love :embarrass


My advice is possible for your husband to move to different job and different location. This will reduce your worried. Again, trust your husband. Don't make him too stress and you.

I dont want my husband to move to an other job what for its a big factory with thousands men and some women working there is normal everywhere there is women working with men and i trust my husband he does not contact any women nor spending any time outside all the time with me even he does not change clothes going at work same clothes for 1 year he does not look after himself when he want to go at work hes so faithfull i think you missunderstand my post i written my post when i was out of my mind because i suffer from syetan wishpering Aazobillah even i can have doubt about me and my family and friends INSHALLAH ALLAH SWT cure me and all the people in my situation Ameen

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister it is clear that you have insecurity issues. This may have been triggered off by an experience that happened in your life that has made you like this. I would recommend that you see a counsellor because you may have past issues which have'nt yet been resolved in your head and still need to be tackled, and once this is done then these insecurities can be eradicated inshallah. This would be good for you and also ask of Allah to help you.

Also sister remember that shaythan can only whisper in your ear but it is your choice what happens after that. Next time whenever any situation arises just tell yourself to stop and think so that you don't over react and blow the situation out of proportion. Please also remember me in your dua's. Allah hafiz

Broter i dont have any insecurities but when i was tenager i had this problem and my family tried to took me to the imams but nothing changed still happening even now , I will make duaa for you INSHALLAH

[nilufer]

i know reading the posts that he was just trying to show you how much he loves you but honestly if my husband told me something like that i would probably be a little... uhmmm upset too... maybe not that extreame but you can garauntee i wouldnt be a happy camper... :(

i guess thats the difference between men and women... i see how it could be sweet but i would rather get flowers and pretty words written on the card then hear that... just my personal opinion...

When i think about what my husband told me i really feel very happy and appreciate his trust to me because he does not hide like other men to their wife at least hes leting me know about the stupid boys mind at work and how my husband does not like them and their mind iam really very proud of him and my husband always gave me more than the flowers and cards he gave me and still giving his love and what he own , I wish all the women have same like my husband ALHAMDOLIALLAH , Hes doing everything for me and i dont think there is any man can give his bank card to the wife to control the money and spend it and cleaning the house and helping the wife in everything and crying when he see the wife sick this is my husband a wonderful heart and ALLAH SWT protect us and all the people AMEEN INSHALLAH

[nilufer]

:sl:

Having read the posts I realise many people might come across as harsh towards sister nulifer.

Sister, we all make mistakes alhamdulilah that Allah made you realise your mistake, now work from there and try to be a support for your husband.

You are a good person and I ask Allah to help you in whatever you do and keep your marriage happy.

Thank you very much

[Hamza Asadullah]

Broter i dont have any insecurities but when i was tenager i had this problem and my family tried to took me to the imams but nothing changed still happening even now , I will make duaa for you INSHALLAH

Sister as ive mentioned in my last post you may have had an experience when you were younger that has made you insecure about so many things especially when it comes to the people closest to you. The only way to tackle this problem would be to consult with a counsellor who will be able to try and establish what event or experience in your youth caused you to be like this.

These things don't just go away unless you actively do something about them. What if you react like this again towards a loved one then they will hesitate ever sharing anything with you incase you go off on one.

and Allah knows best

[cat eyes]

ya ur husband will b telling the truth id say My friend worked in a factory during her uni yearz and there is a hell loads of eastern european grls and asian people mixed working together. She said they would b flirting with eachother and sometimes people caught having sex in tiolets..id tell ur husbnd to find another job but its not that easy and u will find that no matter what job he finds, there will always be temtation everywhere. That is just something that u will have to accept thats where the trust comes in if you have ths problem all the time how much more could one take??. Every single person has there limits and people can only take so much. Maybe after a while if ths cöntinues ur husbnd wil feel tired and drained out that he wont give a dam about the marriage coz in his mind he will think ''aah im sick of this im not going 2 bother reasure her anymore b coz it dont work and she dont trust me anyway''. Its upto you to change. Nobody else can do it for you. I agree with brother hamza's post. It is a insecurity issue that u have and that u badly need help or it will take over ur life. U have already said you hav pushed friends away maybe who next...it could be your husband.

[nilufer]

ya ur husband will b telling the truth id say My friend worked in a factory during her uni yearz and there is a hell loads of eastern european grls and asian people mixed working together. She said they would b flirting with eachother and sometimes people caught having sex in tiolets..id tell ur husbnd to find another job but its not that easy and u will find that no matter what job he finds, there will always be temtation everywhere. That is just something that u will have to accept thats where the trust comes in if you have ths problem all the time how much more could one take??. Every single person has there limits and people can only take so much. Maybe after a while if ths cöntinues ur husbnd wil feel tired and drained out that he wont give a dam about the marriage coz in his mind he will think ''aah im sick of this im not going 2 bother reasure her anymore b coz it dont work and she dont trust me anyway''. Its upto you to change. Nobody else can do it for you. I agree with brother hamza's post. It is a insecurity issue that u have and that u badly need help or it will take over ur life. U have already said you hav pushed friends away maybe who next...it could be your husband.

I will tell you something my husband has no feelings to any women even if they invite him because i know that and i have my reason for that and sorry i cannot share it here bring millions pretty women and easy women in front of my husband believe me he will not bother and i know why i cannot say it
Iam 100% sure about him plus hes very full and hes age doesnt allowed to him to do anything stupid and iam more younger than him and hes crazy jalous of me everywhere and every minutes

Your friends lied to you because in european country you cannot do sex at work because the directors are after making money from their production and not a place for making sex thats completly wrong

Second my husband is a muslim and hes fear from ALLAH so he cannot touch any christian girls at work sorry to disappointed you about that
My husband work as a dog his clothes smells and dirty from hard work and when i look at his pay slips every hour written there without any absence sister iam not that stupid this is my second marriage and i know so many things about the world husband or men

An other thing my husband as his habits if he feel junub he des not sit eat or let me eat until we take a shower because he always said it is haram to be junub and to eat without shower but when he come back from work he eat straight away and sleep without any shower and thats enough for me

I notice something from all your posts in this forum you always give people negative answers especially against the men do you hate sister the men? , are you married ? did you face in the past any problems with men ?
Sorry to ask but i noticed that

Thank you anyway , My husband does not have any dirty mind ad he does not like make love in the toilets hes educate man and from a clean family even if the place is not clean they cannot even seat

[nilufer]

Asslamou alaikoum,

My husband is working hard but his income is not enough for our living and i want to find a job to help him even hes against that i work because he is jalous for me that people will flirt with me but because we need extra money i want to work and i will INSHALLAH convince him but my question is it is halal or haram in the islam if the woman work ? if yes what is the halal job that she can do and what is the haram job that she should avoid? PS we are living in european country

To be honest i recived a job from an advertising company want to hire me for editorial pictures for their collection their clothes are respect and cover all the body but i dont know if it is haram or halal to do this job ?

Please your advice and opinion are important to me thanks in advance jazakoum ALLAH kher

[cat eyes]

sister your the one thinking negative about your husband not me.lol how can i make judgments on somebody that i dont know?. i would never do that.. i am trying to help but if you don't want it or don't want to listen to the truth then fair enough. i think you believe that your perfect and you know everything just because you were married before but i am sorry that dose not make you a knower of everything. but can i ask did you have another account on IB? Cos you sound familiar? all the best

[nilufer]

sister your the one thinking negative about your husband not me.lol how can i make judgments on somebody that i dont know?. i would never do that.. i am trying to help but if you don't want it or don't want to listen to the truth then fair enough. i think you believe that your perfect and you know everything just because you were married before but i am sorry that dose not make you a knower of everything. but can i ask did you have another account on IB? Cos you sound familiar? all the best

Wonderful i like it even now in your post you are panicking so as you dont know me nor my husband so dont make any silly judgment as you mentioned and asking me to believe it , Believe me im just new to this forum but i like to read peoples background in this forum and i saw all your posts negative about the men like you hate any men sister dont get up set i wanna help you thats all ,when i made negative thoughts about my husband i was out of my mind but when i wake up i become positive and me and my husband we love each other and we are faithfull to each other ALHMADOLLIALLAH and hope ALLAH SWT forgive me to had a bad thoughts about my wonderful husband

[cat eyes]

:sl:ohh okay then it seems like shaytan is having a good old time with you then trying to mess your head up...but i believe that men who cry have something to hide :D the biggest emotion that would cause a human to cry especially for a man is pure and utter guilt :D or trying to avoid a situation where he might be questioned and he wont be able to look you in the eye anyway i suppose not every man is the same i suppose but listen be adults and don't be children try to sit down and talk through things in a calm fashion because if not it could lead to either one of you getting angry and it wont solve anything then in future you will be afraid to approach each other:wa:

btw sorry i forgot to say, this was a little joke i shared. it was not mean't to be taken seriously :hmm:
:wa:

[AlHoda]

May Allah(SWT) keep you both together

Ameen. I am sure he didn't do anything wrong. The shaytan is just playing with your mind
:wa::).

[cat eyes]

sister i can assure you i do not hate men:) in fact i like alot of the brothers on IB they are very good mashaAllah and alot of the men my friends are married too are good also so i would really appreciate it if you did not cast judgments on me its a very disgusting trait to accuse someone like that, its a pretty serious thing to say to another sister that she hates her brothers and then you say that i don't know you but yet you sound like you know me?

if your having problems then don't take your anger out on the people who are trying to help. i will no longer be replying to this thread. and i find it quiet odd that you are just a new member but you said you have read all my posts in the short time you are here that would be impossible and i just want to remind you again that you cannot know me and you will never know me because i am a very kind caring loving person and i would give my right arm to another brother or sister if they were in any type of trouble id do anything to do help probably one of the reasons i come to this forum so much because it makes me cry to see so many my brothers and sisters having a problems but anyway y am i telling you for. you seem to have me all figured out already ya i like to share a joke here and there... i like to tease some of the brothers i don't mean anything by it and they already know that i am sure that i love my brothers and sisters deeply.

I am sorry to make this thread about me but its truth.
:wa:

[nilufer]

btw sorry i forgot to say, this was a little joke i shared. it was not mean't to be taken seriously :hmm:
:wa:

I didnt say that you are a bad person , You could be a good person but dont make jokes with peoples problems is not nice we are in a serious islamic forum and we are not in a jokes forum some people they came to the forum with tears and problems and they want to hear positive and logic opinion they dont want people telling them silly things and later on saying sorry it was a joke , For me i will forgive you but dont do it with anyone on this forum in future INSHALLAH

[nilufer]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

[nilufer]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Sister obviously, your husband married you because he found something attractive in you. Alhamdulillah, he loves you, so this, in itself, should be reassuring. If he observes the proper adab with these women, then you should not worry.

Instead, you should focus on setting--and meeting--your own personal, intellectual, spiritual, and marital goals.

The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself. Stop worrying about these other women. Assess where you are now and where you'd like to be. Then work towards that. It might be useful to read the life stories of the Prophet's wives and the female Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. If we devoted a fraction of our time to emulating their examples, then we' d have so much to focus on that is good and positive. Focus on what's good and positive for you and your husband and leave this suspicion alone. Seek refuge in Allah from shaytan. Give your husband the trust he deserves. After all, doesn't he trust you?

Again sister it is your insecurity issues. You should really consider speaking to a counsellor because you may have underlying issues from your past experiences. This will not go away until you take action because eventually it will cause a rift in your marriage because there is only so much a person can take and this insecurity came from an experience you may have had at an earlier point in your life and a counsellor will be able to establish what exactley is causing you to react like this. Try and find a Muslim sister counsellor if you can.

And Allah knows best.

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Sister obviously, your husband married you because he found something attractive in you. Alhamdulillah, he loves you, so this, in itself, should be reassuring. If he observes the proper adab with these women, then you should not worry.

Instead, you should focus on setting--and meeting--your own personal, intellectual, spiritual, and marital goals.

The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself. Stop worrying about these other women. Assess where you are now and where you'd like to be. Then work towards that. It might be useful to read the life stories of the Prophet's wives and the female Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. If we devoted a fraction of our time to emulating their examples, then we' d have so much to focus on that is good and positive. Focus on what's good and positive for you and your husband and leave this suspicion alone. Seek refuge in Allah from shaytan. Give your husband the trust he deserves. After all, doesn't he trust you?

Again sister it is your insecurity issues. You should really consider speaking to a counsellor because you may have underlying issues from your past experiences. This will not go away until you take action because eventually it will cause a rift in your marriage because there is only so much a person can take and this insecurity came from an experience you may have had at an earlier point in your life and a counsellor will be able to establish what exactley is causing you to react like this. Try and find a Muslim sister counsellor if you can.

And Allah knows best.

Brother hamza iam not worry from any women because i know they dont exist in my husband life but why this boy yesterday in the shop told me that he saw my husband by himself in the shop and when i called my husband on the phone he said he is at work and he passed to me his manager ttalk to me on the phone and i heard workers working , My mind confused why this boy told me that is he a liar? is he after something ? thats question i need answer for it PS this boy is a flirt and always try to flirt with me but i ignored him please advice me JAZAKOUM ALLAH SWT kher

[Hamza Asadullah]

Brother hamza iam not worry from any women because i know they dont exist in my husband life but why this boy yesterday in the shop told me that he saw my husband by himself in the shop and when i called my husband on the phone he said he is at work and he passed to me his manager ttalk to me on the phone and i heard workers working , My mind confused why this boy told me that is he a liar? is he after something ? thats question i need answer for it PS this boy is a flirt and always try to flirt with me but i ignored him please advice me JAZAKOUM ALLAH SWT kher

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister maybe this was a test for you. You should always trust your husband until it is proven without a doubt that he is lying or that he has clearly been caught out. You should NEVER believe anyone over your husband straight away until you have proof and evidance establishing that your husband is lying.

Also sister I would suggest that you avoid going to this shop and go to an alternative shop or get your husband to shop from their on his days off. A women should always go out in a jilbab along with her hijaab. As jilbabs are looser and more modest than most other types of clothing.


Also if a women wears makeup when going out then they should refrain from doing so as makeup should only be worn at home to beautify oneself for one's partner and not to beautify oneself for the world to see. One can wear very basic and light makeup but not as to look 'all made up' as this will surely bring undue attention. This includes Kohl and although kohl is a sunnah and is permissable to wear even when out it should be worn with caution as to not bring undue attention because it does beautify the eyes which are a big attraction for men. It is best to wear it when one is home with the husband as taking precaution is always better.

and Allah knows best

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister maybe this was a test for you. You should always trust your husband until it is proven without a doubt that he is lying or that he has clearly been caught out. You should NEVER believe anyone over your husband straight away until you have proof and evidance establishing that your husband is lying.

Also sister I would suggest that you avoid going to this shop and go to an alternative shop or get your husband to shop from their on his days off. A women should always go out in a jilbab along with her hijaab. As jilbabs are looser and more modest than most other types of clothing.


Also if a women wears makeup when going out then they should refrain from doing so as makeup should only be worn at home to beautify oneself for one's partner and not to beautify oneself for the world to see. One can wear very basic and light makeup but not as to look 'all made up' as this will surely bring undue attention. This includes Kohl and although kohl is a sunnah and is permissable to wear even when out it should be worn with caution as to not bring undue attention because it does beautify the eyes which are a big attraction for men. It is best to wear it when one is home with the husband as taking precaution is always better.

and Allah knows best

Brother Hamza you are right jazaka ALLAH kher , I find out that the boy was a liar because he was after me to destroy my marriage hes a sick boy and i decide to not go to that shop anymore even my husband said that he will do the shopping by himself thank you very much