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Khanurani
12-10-2009, 10:09 PM
Can someone help me?
I wanna be a 'good ' Muslim.
how the hell am i supposed to do that?
it's either that or marriage.
And i promised my parents that i would be good and decent and whatever.
but i don't know what to do!
My brother's are older than me, yet not married, so why me?

I am trying to be good, you know, but what can i do?

It's complete bull, because i should have a decision in this, shouldn't i?

So seriously,. someone put me on seeratul mustaqeem and show me the way.
i've dropped some habits, but i'm gonna have to do a 360 degrees change, if i wanna benefit from this somehow.
So please, i'm assuming you people know what to do, so help me, please.
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Rabi'ya
12-10-2009, 10:12 PM
:sl:

my advice is very little sorry :( start small. change your habits. pray, if you dont already. fast sometimes if u can. and try to come closer to Allah. read Quraan, study the lives of the companions of the Prophet(saw). inshAllah by being here on the forum it will increase your iman. I have left the forum twice and each time i come back I feel an immense iman increase alhamdulillah
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*charisma*
12-10-2009, 10:13 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

Are your parents practicing??
Reply

Khanurani
12-10-2009, 10:16 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Assalamu Alaikum

Are your parents practicing??
practicing what?
muslims?
Reply

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Insaanah
12-10-2009, 10:24 PM
Originally Posted by Khanurani
Can someone help me?
I wanna be a 'good ' Muslim.
how the hell am i supposed to do that?
it's either that or marriage.
:sl: Sister,

You mean you have a choice between either being a good Muslim or getting married? Perhaps I've understood wrong. You should still be a good Muslim if you're getting married anyway.

You seem to be suggesting that no one's asked for your say on whether you want to get married. It should be discussed with you.

Anyways, I agree with sis Rabi'yas advice.

Also see the following useful links at the end of this post which is a post by a brother Hamza. May Allah reward him. In particular the ten steps to increasing your imaan.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ml#post1257101

May Allah help you. Ameen.

:sl:
Reply

*charisma*
12-11-2009, 12:25 AM
Originally Posted by Khanurani
practicing what?
muslims?
Yeh, are they practicing Muslims? Do they pray, fast, etc.
And what about your friends or people you're generally around?
Reply

sister herb
12-11-2009, 01:51 PM
:sl:

I wonder what you are meaning when you mention "promising to parents to be good muslim" and marriage. Are you parents asking you to marriage someone they like but you don´t or are you thinking to marry someone your parents don´t like?

Sorry but could you explain what is your problem?

:embarrass
Reply

Khanurani
12-11-2009, 06:03 PM
Originally Posted by Insane Insaan
:sl: Sister,

You mean you have a choice between either being a good Muslim or getting married? Perhaps I've understood wrong. You should still be a good Muslim if you're getting married anyway.

You seem to be suggesting that no one's asked for your say on whether you want to get married. It should be discussed with you.

Anyways, I agree with sis Rabi'yas advice.

Also see the following useful links at the end of this post which is a post by a brother Hamza. May Allah reward him. In particular the ten steps to increasing your imaan.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ml#post1257101

May Allah help you. Ameen.

:sl:
They make it seem like it's a choice.
but it is infact a threat!
and seriously, it's doing ma nut in!
i am trying you know, honestly.



They hurt me a lot, and when someone hurts me, i just laugh.
but they are misunderstanding this laughter......why, why......
Reply

Khanurani
12-11-2009, 06:05 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Yeh, are they practicing Muslims? Do they pray, fast, etc.
And what about your friends or people you're generally around?
Yeah, i think ma dad is THE most religious man on the planet!
and my mum is just like a 'normal' mom.

friends?
some Muslims, yeah.
but even they aren't practicing, or full-time.
Reply

Khanurani
12-11-2009, 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by sister harb
:sl:

I wonder what you are meaning when you mention "promising to parents to be good muslim" and marriage. Are you parents asking you to marriage someone they like but you don´t or are you thinking to marry someone your parents don´t like?

Sorry but could you explain what is your problem?

:embarrass
They think i'm 'astray'.
and i can't blame them, because that's what i was/am.
But i wanna change now. i've seen the light.....................lol(!)
Reply

Khanurani
12-11-2009, 06:32 PM
does anyone have gmail/googlemail?
Reply

Alpha Dude
12-11-2009, 06:37 PM
:sl:
The number 1 thing you need to change is your mindset, before anything else. What's key is that you learn not to chase after the dunya, but rather make the akirah your ultimate goal. This is really important. Otherwise, all your physical actions of worship such as 5 times prayer/fasting etc would be just seen as a chore and you're likely to drop them once they get too much for you. Once you realise that you're only in this world as a test and this test in the real time of the akirah will only be like a day or part of a day, you realise that it's futile chasing after it. Read this, if you want a good analogy of how futile it is to yearn for stuff in this dunya.

So once you have this understanding, make it another goal that you will cleanse yourself of all negative attributes like arrogance, pride, needless anger, selfishness, jealousy, vainness, stinginess etc and replace them with good traits like humility, kindness, generosity, selflessness, honesty etc.

At the same time, try to gain as much Islamic knowledge that you can. Start by learning the essentials of fiqh (all things related to external acts of worship, like how to do wudhu, how to pray, how to fast etc). Put what you learn into practice.

Also at the same time, make sincere dua to Allah whenever you can. Ask for Allah to guide you from your heart. Treat Allah as though Allah is most definitely real and have certainty that your dua will most certainly be accepted.

InshaAllah, if you do those things, you will be a better muslim. Although, once you do this, don't automatically assume you are in fact good. Muslims always have to strive to make sure their character is good and there shouldn't be a moment where you think you have reached your goal. It's a lifelong journey. :)
Reply

Asiyah3
12-11-2009, 06:49 PM
Sister, I will ask you a question and I hope you will answer sincerily...

Do you want to become a "good muslim" for the sake of Allah (SWT) or for the sake of your parents? Or you want to change to get away from marriage?

Islam is a very beautiful religion, so I believe studying it will help you alot in increasing your faith and in obeying your Rab (Lord). There is a always more to study and in which you can increase your knowledge (Depends on the person). Make du'aa so Allah will help you, read Qur'aan, hadith, lives of the Prophet's (SAAS) companions and the other prophets (AS) , rulings... And one big helpful thing is Islamic lectures, they helped myself A LOT and they are very interesting and wise masha'lLah. Alhamdulil-Lah and may Allah reward them.


You also said:
"So seriously,. someone put me on seeratul mustaqeem and show me the way."
Sister, Allah is the One who guides, what do ya think if you rather ask Him who gives.
Don't get me wrong I don't mean that don't ask or anything, for Allah tells us to Ask them who know, if we know not.

I strongly appreciate the fact that you look at yourself and try to change yourself to better, that is something every single one of us should do.

_________________________
“O you who believe! Fear Allaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allaah…”

[al-Hashr 59:18]

Here Allaah commands us twice to fear Him (taqwa), and in between these two commands, He commands us to check ourselves. So look and see what you have sent forth for the Day of Judgement in the way of good deeds and abstaining from evil deeds. This checking is an important means of changing oneself, and the Day of Resurrection will be difficult and long, and will make the faces look horrible (from their extreme dislike of it) (cf. Al-Insaan 76:10). So look at what you have prepared in the way of good deeds and try to do more of them and be sincere in doing them. Give up sin, for it is the worst thing that one can prepare for that Day. Make sure that you go into the Hereafter with the best that you have. And do not forget to make du’aa’ and ask Allaah to guide you to the Straight Path and help you to remain steadfast in it.

We ask Allaah to grant us and you strength and guidance, and a good end. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Source: http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/8424/good%20muslim

_______________________________


About marriage, it is your and only your's choice, Islam forbits marriyng without the woman's approval.

It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

Source: http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/4602/force%20marriage
Reply

Asiyah3
12-11-2009, 06:53 PM
Oh and sister , I'm not the most knowledgable, but if you need a friend, I'd gladly give you my E-mail.

(or you can of course private-message me)
Reply

AabiruSabeel
12-11-2009, 07:00 PM
:sl:

I would just like to add here as a reminder that members are not allowed to share their email address in the public forums. Email ids can only be shared in the private gender rooms, but members should still exercise caution in sharing any personal identifiable information.
Reply

Asiyah3
12-11-2009, 07:06 PM
Fine :) Got it

Jazakal-Lahu khairan
Reply

Khanurani
12-12-2009, 11:50 AM
Originally Posted by _muslim_
Sister, I will ask you a question and I hope you will answer sincerily...

Do you want to become a "good muslim" for the sake of Allah (SWT) or for the sake of your parents? Or you want to change to get away from marriage?

Islam is a very beautiful religion, so I believe studying it will help you alot in increasing your faith and in obeying your Rab (Lord). There is a always more to study and in which you can increase your knowledge (Depends on the person). Make du'aa so Allah will help you, read Qur'aan, hadith, lives of the Prophet's (SAAS) companions and the other prophets (AS) , rulings... And one big helpful thing is Islamic lectures, they helped myself A LOT and they are very interesting and wise masha'lLah. Alhamdulil-Lah and may Allah reward them.


You also said:
"So seriously,. someone put me on seeratul mustaqeem and show me the way."
Sister, Allah is the One who guides, what do ya think if you rather ask Him who gives.
Don't get me wrong I don't mean that don't ask or anything, for Allah tells us to Ask them who know, if we know not.

I strongly appreciate the fact that you look at yourself and try to change yourself to better, that is something every single one of us should do.

_________________________
“O you who believe! Fear Allaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allaah…”

[al-Hashr 59:18]

Here Allaah commands us twice to fear Him (taqwa), and in between these two commands, He commands us to check ourselves. So look and see what you have sent forth for the Day of Judgement in the way of good deeds and abstaining from evil deeds. This checking is an important means of changing oneself, and the Day of Resurrection will be difficult and long, and will make the faces look horrible (from their extreme dislike of it) (cf. Al-Insaan 76:10). So look at what you have prepared in the way of good deeds and try to do more of them and be sincere in doing them. Give up sin, for it is the worst thing that one can prepare for that Day. Make sure that you go into the Hereafter with the best that you have. And do not forget to make du’aa’ and ask Allaah to guide you to the Straight Path and help you to remain steadfast in it.

We ask Allaah to grant us and you strength and guidance, and a good end. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Source: http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/8424/good%20muslim

_______________________________


About marriage, it is your and only your's choice, Islam forbits marriyng without the woman's approval.

It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

Source: http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/4602/force%20marriage
Tbh,all three.
For the sake of Allah, for the sake of my Parents and get away from marriage...
Exactly, they don't get that. It's my choicce, im gonna spendthe rest of my like with the stupid geezer, not them!
Reply

Khanurani
12-12-2009, 11:51 AM
Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel
:sl:

I would just like to add here as a reminder that members are not allowed to share their email address in the public forums. Email ids can only be shared in the private gender rooms, but members should still exercise caution in sharing any personal identifiable information.
right...thanks for that(!)
Reply

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