Sister-in-law living with us

[hijabi66]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

Your potential spouse mentions that his sister may live with you and him some of the time when you marry. You raise concerns and he tries to alleviate them. You then marry and find out, out of the blue three days after, this ‘some of the time’ becomes ‘permanent’. Second week of marriage sister moves in. How would you feel?

Want to discuss my concerns in more depth but just want initial thoughts...

Jazakallah khair

Assalamu alaikum

[markislam]

just enjoy the time that is all i have to say :)

[CosmicPathos]

just dont feel "concerned" again. Just kidding. Talk it out I guess.

*surprising you have only 1 post and more rep than me. :(*

[Donia]

Alaikum asalaam rahmatullahi wa barakatu.

Based on the information you have provided, I don't see a reason to be to upset as of yet. Maybe his sister doesn't have anywhere else to live at this point in time. You could use this as positive.. befriend her. Do the women things together. Not sure how your living situation is.
Congratulations on your marriage.. :)

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[Rabi'ya]

I would say that a couple needs their time together alone and if that cant be in your own house, then where?!

living with extended family, as someone who married into the family is a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

give each other space and inshAllah the relationship will be a good one

[Snowflake]

assalamu alaykum,

MashaAllah what a good man you have as your husband. An increasing number of men once married, are neglecting their parents/siblings and forgetting they have rights too. This situation doesn't seem to be permanent and your sis-in-law won't be there forever. Time passes but memories will stay with all of you forever. It's better if those memories bring pleasure and joy instead of regret and sorrow. That's hard to live it.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
i would feel peeved off that he wasn't honest more then that she was living with us.
i dont really know what to say tbh. does she have a place to stay? is there a need for her to stay with you? if she does have a need, then i'd over look it, but give my husband a piece of my mind for not being honest with me to begin with :p

if she doesn't have a need, then i think its best to speak to your husband about your concerns :)

An increasing number of men once married, are neglecting their parents/siblings and forgetting they have rights too.

you can still fulfill the rights of your parents and siblings without having them move in. just becuase they dont live with you, doesn't mean you're not fulfilling their rights.

[Caller الداعي]

i think its wrong of the husband to not inform the wife

[Snowflake]

Assalamu alaykum,

Don't only take one side of the story and automatically assume the other party is wrong. it could be the bro thought he made it clear and it's the sis who didn't understand. Either way, the man is the provider and maintainer and head of household. He is free to decide who lives with him and when as long as it is not violating the wife's right in shariah. Having hubby all to yourself 24 hours is not a right. Fear Allah, we could all need refuge under our brothers roof one day.

[Beardo]

Haha, I had a very similar situation!

My sister-in-law came to live with us. Alhamdulillah, I tried to make the most of it. I never came in front of her though, and neither did she come in front of me. So there were some adjustments to be made with the Purdah and gender segregation.

As the respected members mentioned above, try to make the most of it and do what you have to do to have a blissful marriage Insha'Allah Ta'ala.

Remember: ISTAKHARA!