Originally Posted by squiggle
Assalam o Alikum Wa Rahmatul Lahi Wa Barakatuh
Dear Brother First of All i Ask Allah to recompense u for ur affliction and replace it for u with something better.
Second I will advise u brother to have patience , and try to read the Amazing n beautiful Ahadith About Patience, If nothing else pick up Riyadh Al Saliheen the chapter of patience.
Also say when ever u remmber or are reminded
To Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, recompense me for my affliction and replace it for me with something better.’
The Hadith About this dua is beautiful , as When Abu Salma Passed Away The Prophet asked umm Salma to say this to which she replied Who can be better than Abu Salam (about" recompense me with something better") And SubhanAllah , Allah married her to The Prophet sala lahu alihi wa Sallam , Better Than Not only Abu Salma , better than All of Humans so keep saying this my brother.
Also Brother Always when u are reminded say ,
Allaah has decreed and what He wills, He does’
N the Hadith ABout this is also beautiful
‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allaah, than the weak believer and there is goodness in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allaah and do not despair. If a mishap should happen to befall you then do not say ‘ If only I had acted….such and such would have happened’. Rather say:
‘Allaah has decreed and what He wills, He does’.
… for verify ‘If’
lets in the work of the devil.’
N seek ur reward from Allah in this calamity , There are soo many Ahadith about patience in calamities n its reward bro please lok them up InshahAllah , they Might help.
Now for some personal Advise , to the brothers n sisters In general.
Brothers n sisters , What ever happens with us in our lifes , we should try to make it a means of getting closer to Allah , If its a happiness n a blessing , we thank Allah n get closer to him like Sulaiman Alihi as sallam said when he saw the throne in front of him. N if its hard times , calamities , problems we should use them as a means of getting closer to Allah n seek his pleasue , help n reward.
155. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).
156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."
157. They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones
Know My brother that right now Ur heart is hurt , it might be broken in a way. You can really use this in a way which will benefit u in ur life here n in the hereafter. Know that when the hearts are hurt n broken they are closer to Allah n much much softer and its easy to get close to Allah. A broken heart is easy to get affected , to get influenced , to submit to underastnd and to see , for really its not the eyes that get blinded its the hearts in the chests that get blinded and when they are hurt and broken they are much easier to return to Allah and have an affect upon them.
So use this situation to draw closer to Allah , when we are hurt we become more n more humble in front of Allah and this is the best remedy in ur case. U can really turn this around. Its all about the heart , and the best effects on the heart take place when its broken or hurt.
U might have heared the Ahadith about the hearts.
U might have read some beautful quotes about the heart from Ibn Al Qayyim about the heart. I dont wana mention them here lest this topic get too long n people dont benefit but i will mention just one
"Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness" Ibn Qayyim
Now this void is a natural void, But when calamities befall n we lose things we love what happens to our hearts? They are obviously hurt and there is a bigger void , a gap creadted by the departing person or the person we lost or the things we lost, If you can fill this void with the company n remmberance n LOVE of Allah , U will InshahAllah see benefits and fruits like never before , Allah , Allah's Love , His words the Quran the Love of the deen n the messenger will Sink down in your heart like never before. The verses of Quran will make soo much sense and touch u in soo many ways , each n ever soorah n each n every ayah will touch you. So basically when one loses love or something he loved n He/she turns to Allah to fill the gap n void caused n to wash the pain away Wallahi Allah rewards them with His love and Love of what He loves n replaces the Loss with something better and on top of Allh that Allah just might give that person Understandingof the deen , Love of the hereafter, lOVE OF ALLAH n whats with Allah , Love of the things that draw us closer to Allah. So dont waste this ipportunity n this condition if ur heart , use it while u can, Turn to Allah نعم المولى و نعم النصير و هو كاف عبده
And if we really do love some one , or care for them we would want the best for them right, so before everything else we would want the best for them in their hereafter in akhirah , coz thats the eternal abode the eternal life , In tis life may be we can cheer them up n ebter happiness in their hearts n serve them n all but the ultimate reality remians , so always one should care for the Akhirah of his beloved. So notthing should stop us from making sincere duaa for them and asking Allah to forgive them n make their account easy. Does not matter if we can have that person in this lfe , if the love is true we would care about their akhirah , we would always remmber them in our duaas, we would use the love of that person n his/hers place in our heart as a eans of drawing close to Allah coz u kno when u raise those hands up n make dua for them it will come out of the bottom of ur heart accompanied with some sincere tears and it will benefit them more than u ever could in this life in anyway.
So situations like these if one uses them can really help , also brother know that لا منجا ولا ملجا من الله الا اليه
Turn To Allah , use this calamity a means of getting close to him , Use that special chemical that comes out of the eyes and cleanses our hearts and makes them soft , make lots of duaa for the person u have lost n seek lots of forgiveness , Turn to Allah , He knows whats in our hearst n oly He can fix our affairs , he knows whats best for us , He is Sufficient for us , He is the most caring n the Most Loving and Forgiving and He is Able to do All things.
So forgetting or not forgetting wont be really an issue , i do know n understand that we are humans and have feeling n all , But when u leave it up to Allah , and make Dua for them , Leave them in the protection of Allah , What more can u ask for , what more can u have probably done for them , and it will be a good memory and remmembering them will always get a duaa out of u for them from the deepest of ur heart n it will benefit them and it will also make u more n more humble n a good servant. It will also affect ur heart always and u can use this gap n thi spain to draw closer to Allah everytime u remmber them n seek Reward from Allah, so its a win-win situation.
Coz what we really wana get out of this life is
مغفرة من الله و رضوان Forgiveness from Allah and His Good Pleasure
When we love for Allah , the best part is we help each other get close to Allah , When some one marries , one of the most important things out of that marriage is to help eachother get to Jannah and succeed , this life wont last long , a few years n if they both come together n work towards Allah's pleasure orderingthe good and forbidding the evil and helping eachother then for them is the eternal life the ultimate goal n success. So it really is all about the Akhirah so if someone cannot for instance marry a person he/she wants , n he truly loves the person he will still keep them in his duaas.
I came across this thread a couple of days ago , wanted to write soo much had soo much in my mind but now cant put it together. Hope u guys get what im trying to say. And Allah knows best
I have said what i have said , If right then by the Grace of Allah , n if wrong then from my self n shaytaan n i AsK Allah to forgive me , Indeed He is the Most Forgiving.