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Salahudeen
12-18-2009, 11:05 PM
Aslaam alaykum, I'm trying to forget about some 1 but am finding it hard to any tips? imsad
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AabiruSabeel
12-19-2009, 05:37 AM
:sl:

The more you try to forget that person, the more you will remember him/her.
Just carry on with your life and eventually you will forget, inshaAllah.
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IslamicRevival
12-19-2009, 05:45 AM
Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel

The more you try to forget that person, the more you will remember him/her.
Spot on. Carry on with life as normal and you wont remember a thing InshAllah
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Insecured soul
12-19-2009, 09:39 AM
time makes u forget everything, this is not a philosophy but a real thing which i have experienced with myself, just carry on with ur life and continue doing ibadah and invoke allah for help.
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-19-2009, 09:48 AM
:sl:
the solution is really dependent on how you lost them. is it death or is it "she liked me, i liked her..."
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Salahudeen
12-19-2009, 02:12 PM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
the solution is really dependent on how you lost them. is it death or is it "she liked me, i liked her..."
It was just a friend who hurt me and i'm trying to forget about them and what they did to me imsad
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AnonymousPoster
12-19-2009, 02:16 PM
maybe you don't know the full story yet just jumping to conclusions. talk with the person later.
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IbnAbdulHakim
12-19-2009, 02:54 PM
theres not a single person in this life who i have managed to forget

wether i have tried or not

once the soul is touched... the affect cannot be removed.


however.. we learn to live with it, goal driven towards the hereafter we manage to alter our souls to accept our fate and live each day as it comes.


may Allah aid us all in our striving
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syilla
12-19-2009, 04:13 PM
I think it is a mistake to forget someone especially when it hurts. Because then you'll get hurt alot more.

You should cherished the sweet memory as if it is a past memory that made you a better person.

Don't make it bad when it is already bad...hmm...
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Ali_008
12-19-2009, 04:25 PM
:wa:
You can't forget anyone. Its futile to even try it. With time, wounds heal. You can't forget that person Brother. InshAllah with time, in the future, the memories of that person won't hurt you as much as they are hurting you now. I'm trying to forget/not think of someone myself and I read a couple of Ahadeeth which are helping me with it. One said "abstain from having bad opinion of others" and the other "forgive the one who has wronged you." Sometimes, I'm even praying for that person and hoping for Allah's (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) reward in the Aakhirah, inshAllah. :statisfie:statisfie:statisfie
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-20-2009, 07:56 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by squiggle
It was just a friend who hurt me and i'm trying to forget about them and what they did to me imsad
first and foremost, you have to make sure that they indented what they did and that this isnt "those" people talking and that there inst some kind of misunderstanding blown out of proportion.

if it is indeed the case, then try to seek comfort in that it is their own loss that they lost you as a friend and that it is good that you are the victim and not the perpetrator...its better off that you get the bad end of the stick becuase to hurt someone for no reason is a really really bad trait to have...they taint their own reputation as well.
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noorseeker
12-20-2009, 10:01 AM
just remember the good times
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abu salaahudeen
12-20-2009, 10:11 AM
ir is theart that is inclining you towards those feelings so nurture your heart and most impostantly ask the One who controls the heart to replace it with something better . . .

may Allah make it easy for you . .
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Danah
12-20-2009, 02:47 PM
Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel
:sl:

The more you try to forget that person, the more you will remember him/her.
Just carry on with your life and eventually you will forget, inshaAllah.
Very True!.....because you will focus on forgetting this person, and while you are thinking of forgetting him/her, you are actually thinking of that person since he is the thing that need to be forgotten.....do I make sense here?:hmm:


You are worried about that and want to wipe that person out off your memory because maybe what this person did to you is still very recent......time will make you forget him slowly, just keep going on your life and you will forget him without you even notice that.
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zakirs
12-21-2009, 02:06 PM
have patience and let time do its magic :)..

Salaam
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Hamza Asadullah
12-21-2009, 11:45 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
Aslaam alaykum, I'm trying to forget about some 1 but am finding it hard to any tips? imsad
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, well my brother it does depend on who your wanting to forget but the best way to forget someone in general is to get rid of anything that is associated with that person or anything that person gave to you or reminds you of them.

Also to tell yourself that it was for the best that the person is not in your life anymore and maybe if they were in your life that it would have detrimental effects on you so Allah does what is best.

It is also good to make changes like tidy your room and rid yourself of all unwanted things that you don't need and change your number and only give your number and just to generally refresh everything in your life and this will also refresh your mind and have a cleansing effect on you in that your ridding your life of the past and things you don't need in your life and you are moving forward and starting fresh with a new and positive outlook in life.

Think to yourself everytime you miss that person-" I have no more time to waste because my time in this world can end at ANY second therefore i cannot afford to waste a second more on the past! I HAVE to concentrate on the future as that is what matters most! Every second that i waste i will regret forever and why should i waste my only one chance i have on this earth on the past and on someone who was not meant to be in my life? I have now moved forward and i will make the best use of every second and will please my lord as much as i can and abide by his commandments. Whatever is best for me has happened and i fully accept it and am happy now to move forward with my life on my journey in this life."

Keep telling yoursel this or write it down on a paper or on your phone so you keep reading it and reminding yoursellf of your purpose. Focus now on moving forward and making the best of the very short time we have left for our time can end at any second and we must move fast before arrangements are made for our own funeral!

May Allah help us to make the best use of every second of our lives and to not waste a second more on the past but to learn from it so we can do things better now and the future! Ameen
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Salahudeen
12-23-2009, 01:15 AM
:cry: thanks for all ur replies I just feel like running away to some place really far away where no body knows me and I don't know any 1 and never coming back imsad

you know that feeling where u jus wanna get away from everything and everyone and be alone by urself :cry:

I keep telling myself what happened is the decree of Allah and I should accept it but my emotions and feelings say otherwise imsad

it's true no affliction befalls us except for what Allah has decreed for us right?

so what I'm going through is apart of Allah's decree and I should accept it shouldn't I? but how do I come to terms with it? :cry:

I just can't seem to get it out my system :cry: it's like a tape that's on reply it jus keeps replaying in my head :cry:

I can't jus snap out of it and forget it :cry: I'm giving fake smiles to the people around me so they don't notice :(

I keep thinking to myself if only I had done this instead or said this instead then things might be different if only I could go back :( it's like this pain that won;t go :(
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syilla
12-23-2009, 01:39 AM
InshaAllah... in a few weeks you'll feel better. Just have faith in Allah and don't forget to do extra salah. :)

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, Verily, with the hardship, there is relief. So when you have finished, then stand up for Allâh’s worship. And to your Lord turn your invocations. Quran 94:5-8
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Snowflake
12-23-2009, 04:06 AM
:sl: squiggles!! Dont be sad please. Everything will be alright inshaAllah. :)
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zakirs
12-23-2009, 07:31 AM
Come on bro cheer up .. i promise in a few weeks it will all be ok :) . it takes time to heal wounds.So be patient and be a good boy :)

i promise ill buy you a ferrari if you stop being sad ( i'm joking)

:D:D
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Rafeeq
12-23-2009, 09:40 AM
Thing happens in life. Will you believe, I was suffering from such depression a couple weeks ago and it was about to turn me commit suicide.

I know one thing which is in my signature, read it. Allah is only who we need.
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'Abdul Rahmaan
12-23-2009, 09:48 AM
Originally Posted by squiggle
Aslaam alaykum, I'm trying to forget about some 1 but am finding it hard to any tips? imsad
TIP: Start thinking about someone else. :p
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S_87
12-23-2009, 12:49 PM
chances are you wont ever forget someone who touched your heart but will learn to deal with it and eventually move on in life. i know this sounds easy but is VERY hard, but start with just taking one day at a time and keeping ur mind busy. the more time u have to think the more youll think about it. keep your head BUSY. again not easy, but possible
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
12-23-2009, 06:39 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
:cry: thanks for all ur replies I just feel like running away to some place really far away where no body knows me and I don't know any 1 and never coming back imsad

you know that feeling where u jus wanna get away from everything and everyone and be alone by urself :cry:

I keep telling myself what happened is the decree of Allah and I should accept it but my emotions and feelings say otherwise imsad

it's true no affliction befalls us except for what Allah has decreed for us right?

so what I'm going through is apart of Allah's decree and I should accept it shouldn't I? but how do I come to terms with it? :cry:

I just can't seem to get it out my system :cry: it's like a tape that's on reply it jus keeps replaying in my head :cry:

I can't jus snap out of it and forget it :cry: I'm giving fake smiles to the people around me so they don't notice :(

I keep thinking to myself if only I had done this instead or said this instead then things might be different if only I could go back :( it's like this pain that won;t go :(
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, brother in order to help you better do you mind telling us what exactly happened? If not then i apologise for asking.
Reply

GuestFellow
12-23-2009, 06:44 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
Aslaam alaykum, I'm trying to forget about some 1 but am finding it hard to any tips? imsad
:wa:

Keep yourself busy, that'll help.
Reply

desert winds
12-23-2009, 10:41 PM
i had to forget someone, and i did it in 2 weeks! what a recrod! and you know how i did it? i went to my masjid, yes you know the one squddle, and i went there and Allahswt helped me, i would pray and just talk to Allahswt , he knew eevrything anyway but it was nice to talk to him, and he listened, and i began to embrace islam.
and you know, your feeling like this, alone and lonley becasue Allahswt is calling you, he wants you to turn to him, that is part of the test! i know what your talking about but trust me it will be better i know it feels like you just want to die and you dont want anything in your life but Allahswt has soemthing better for you!
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Ali_008
12-24-2009, 01:16 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
I keep thinking to myself if only I had done this instead or said this instead then things might be different if only I could go back :( it's like this pain that won;t go :(
Brother, I can't get the reference but Rasoolullah :saws: forbade us from doing this. He :saws: said that whatever happens, happens by the decree of Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) and having these thoughts like "If I hadn't done this or If I hadn't said this, it wouldn't have happened", these are just waswaas (insinuating whispers) of the shaytaan. So abstain from this and make loads and loads of Dua. If this person is sooooooo important then inshAllah there might be still chance of undoing the damage. If its so painful for you then try to make things better between yourselves. InshAllah you'll find relief one way or another and I'll pray for you.

"The one who loses Hope, loses everything."
Its not a Hadeeth, just a thought.

:w:
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suffiyan007
12-24-2009, 03:19 PM
Hi pal, i am back to give a comment after long awaited...

i think i will ask u to close your eyes...10mins to think something positive...maybe...this girl/guy u want to apart with them...!
just like meditation..just forget all the past and rechannelling your mind.... to be reborn a new person...and take a deep breathes...and tell to your let go..everything i want to delete sure it will come true...happy trying...!

i am a psychiatrist....happy trying.!
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ژاله
12-24-2009, 03:24 PM
keep thinking about their bad habits and what they did to you. try to blame them for everything that happened, eg they betrayed you or whatever, hate them, and you shall forget.
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M..x
12-24-2009, 11:02 PM
Tbh.. Its hard to forget someone that has touched your heart, whoever that may be. & Its even harder forgetting tha memories they've engraved in it... Ya'no sometimes you just gotta deal with it.. Cause regardless of how you feel, life's gunna roll on, and you either sit stuck in tha past or you just tackle it head on and move on wit your life... Buh it is hard nonetheless & I wish you all tha best overcoming your situation. Salaam
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
12-24-2009, 11:53 PM
If they could hurt you this much now then are imagine how much they could have hurt you later on in life? Isn't it best that Allah revealed the real them to you so that you can realise that this is not the right person for you to spend your life with.

Sometimes we have to take responsibility for our actions because we let ourselves fall for them when we knew it was wrong and that we should'nt have.

Whatever has happened has happened, we cannot change it so why should we waste any more of our precious time on it? The time we have is slipping away and it will NEVER return. We will regret these precious seconds that we have wasted especially on those who don't deserve anymore of our precious time.

Let us make the best use of these seconds before our last second comes upon us and that may be ANY second.

Our seconds are for us to build our eternity so should we not spend it wisely? Does that person deserve anymore of our seconds?

Let us repent to Allah for our sins and ask of him to help us to make the best use of our time. Surely if we listened to Allah we would'nt be in this mess in the first place. So now that we have acknowledged our mistakes let us repent and move on before preperations are made for own own funerals and who knows which of our janaza will be next....
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Asiyah3
12-25-2009, 12:15 AM
Originally Posted by squiggle
:cry: thanks for all ur replies I just feel like running away to some place really far away where no body knows me and I don't know any 1 and never coming back imsad

you know that feeling where u jus wanna get away from everything and everyone and be alone by urself :cry:

I keep telling myself what happened is the decree of Allah and I should accept it but my emotions and feelings say otherwise imsad

it's true no affliction befalls us except for what Allah has decreed for us right?

so what I'm going through is apart of Allah's decree and I should accept it shouldn't I? but how do I come to terms with it? :cry:

I just can't seem to get it out my system :cry: it's like a tape that's on reply it jus keeps replaying in my head :cry:

I can't jus snap out of it and forget it :cry: I'm giving fake smiles to the people around me so they don't notice :(

I keep thinking to myself if only I had done this instead or said this instead then things might be different if only I could go back :( it's like this pain that won;t go :(
Brother, When I read your feelings, I felt like that was me who wrote that about a year ago. Though my problems I believe were very different from yours now, but things change... -- Life changes.

Come on, do you really think that after a half year, you will still have this problem? Even if you do, you said that you just wanna move elsewhere. Insha'lLah you can do that, you can start a new life :statisfie

Maybe you have a problem in a specific place and maybe you can't solve that problem. But you can enjoy your life elsewhere and with time Insha'lLah Allah will mak it easy for you :statisfie

Bro, new things come into life... New friends, who might be 100% better... Allah knows best.

Now go and buy an icecream (That would cheer me up alot :heated:) and enjoy it and Praise Allah :D
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noorseeker
12-25-2009, 02:03 PM
Just give it time bro, go to Abu Zayd and have a nice juicy steak lol
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Soulja Girl
12-25-2009, 03:02 PM
:sl:

I feel for you brother! Maybe there's khair in it, you jus dun know! May Allah give you sabr...

:wa:
Reply

brotherubaid
12-25-2009, 08:24 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
:cry: thanks for all ur replies I just feel like running away to some place really far away where no body knows me and I don't know any 1 and never coming back imsad

you know that feeling where u jus wanna get away from everything and everyone and be alone by urself :cry:

I keep telling myself what happened is the decree of Allah and I should accept it but my emotions and feelings say otherwise imsad

it's true no affliction befalls us except for what Allah has decreed for us right?

so what I'm going through is apart of Allah's decree and I should accept it shouldn't I? but how do I come to terms with it? :cry:

I just can't seem to get it out my system :cry: it's like a tape that's on reply it jus keeps replaying in my head :cry:

I can't jus snap out of it and forget it :cry: I'm giving fake smiles to the people around me so they don't notice :(

I keep thinking to myself if only I had done this instead or said this instead then things might be different if only I could go back :( it's like this pain that won;t go :(
Assalam o Alikum Wa Rahmatul Lahi Wa Barakatuh

Dear Brother First of All i Ask Allah to recompense u for ur affliction and replace it for u with something better.

Second I will advise u brother to have patience , and try to read the Amazing n beautiful Ahadith About Patience, If nothing else pick up Riyadh Al Saliheen the chapter of patience.

Also say when ever u remmber or are reminded

To Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, recompense me for my affliction and replace it for me with something better.’

The Hadith About this dua is beautiful , as When Abu Salma Passed Away The Prophet asked umm Salma to say this to which she replied Who can be better than Abu Salam (about" recompense me with something better") And SubhanAllah , Allah married her to The Prophet sala lahu alihi wa Sallam , Better Than Not only Abu Salma , better than All of Humans so keep saying this my brother.

Also Brother Always when u are reminded say ,

Allaah has decreed and what He wills, He does’

N the Hadith ABout this is also beautiful

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allaah, than the weak believer and there is goodness in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allaah and do not despair. If a mishap should happen to befall you then do not say ‘ If only I had acted….such and such would have happened’. Rather say:
‘Allaah has decreed and what He wills, He does’.
… for verify ‘If’ lets in the work of the devil.’


N seek ur reward from Allah in this calamity , There are soo many Ahadith about patience in calamities n its reward bro please lok them up InshahAllah , they Might help.


Now for some personal Advise , to the brothers n sisters In general.


Brothers n sisters , What ever happens with us in our lifes , we should try to make it a means of getting closer to Allah , If its a happiness n a blessing , we thank Allah n get closer to him like Sulaiman Alihi as sallam said when he saw the throne in front of him. N if its hard times , calamities , problems we should use them as a means of getting closer to Allah n seek his pleasue , help n reward.

155. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).

156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."

157. They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones


Know My brother that right now Ur heart is hurt , it might be broken in a way. You can really use this in a way which will benefit u in ur life here n in the hereafter. Know that when the hearts are hurt n broken they are closer to Allah n much much softer and its easy to get close to Allah. A broken heart is easy to get affected , to get influenced , to submit to underastnd and to see , for really its not the eyes that get blinded its the hearts in the chests that get blinded and when they are hurt and broken they are much easier to return to Allah and have an affect upon them.

So use this situation to draw closer to Allah , when we are hurt we become more n more humble in front of Allah and this is the best remedy in ur case. U can really turn this around. Its all about the heart , and the best effects on the heart take place when its broken or hurt.

U might have heared the Ahadith about the hearts.
U might have read some beautful quotes about the heart from Ibn Al Qayyim about the heart. I dont wana mention them here lest this topic get too long n people dont benefit but i will mention just one

"Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness" Ibn Qayyim

Now this void is a natural void, But when calamities befall n we lose things we love what happens to our hearts? They are obviously hurt and there is a bigger void , a gap creadted by the departing person or the person we lost or the things we lost, If you can fill this void with the company n remmberance n LOVE of Allah , U will InshahAllah see benefits and fruits like never before , Allah , Allah's Love , His words the Quran the Love of the deen n the messenger will Sink down in your heart like never before. The verses of Quran will make soo much sense and touch u in soo many ways , each n ever soorah n each n every ayah will touch you. So basically when one loses love or something he loved n He/she turns to Allah to fill the gap n void caused n to wash the pain away Wallahi Allah rewards them with His love and Love of what He loves n replaces the Loss with something better and on top of Allh that Allah just might give that person Understandingof the deen , Love of the hereafter, lOVE OF ALLAH n whats with Allah , Love of the things that draw us closer to Allah. So dont waste this ipportunity n this condition if ur heart , use it while u can, Turn to Allah نعم المولى و نعم النصير و هو كاف عبده


And if we really do love some one , or care for them we would want the best for them right, so before everything else we would want the best for them in their hereafter in akhirah , coz thats the eternal abode the eternal life , In tis life may be we can cheer them up n ebter happiness in their hearts n serve them n all but the ultimate reality remians , so always one should care for the Akhirah of his beloved. So notthing should stop us from making sincere duaa for them and asking Allah to forgive them n make their account easy. Does not matter if we can have that person in this lfe , if the love is true we would care about their akhirah , we would always remmber them in our duaas, we would use the love of that person n his/hers place in our heart as a eans of drawing close to Allah coz u kno when u raise those hands up n make dua for them it will come out of the bottom of ur heart accompanied with some sincere tears and it will benefit them more than u ever could in this life in anyway.

So situations like these if one uses them can really help , also brother know that لا منجا ولا ملجا من الله الا اليه
Turn To Allah , use this calamity a means of getting close to him , Use that special chemical that comes out of the eyes and cleanses our hearts and makes them soft , make lots of duaa for the person u have lost n seek lots of forgiveness , Turn to Allah , He knows whats in our hearst n oly He can fix our affairs , he knows whats best for us , He is Sufficient for us , He is the most caring n the Most Loving and Forgiving and He is Able to do All things.


So forgetting or not forgetting wont be really an issue , i do know n understand that we are humans and have feeling n all , But when u leave it up to Allah , and make Dua for them , Leave them in the protection of Allah , What more can u ask for , what more can u have probably done for them , and it will be a good memory and remmembering them will always get a duaa out of u for them from the deepest of ur heart n it will benefit them and it will also make u more n more humble n a good servant. It will also affect ur heart always and u can use this gap n thi spain to draw closer to Allah everytime u remmber them n seek Reward from Allah, so its a win-win situation.

Coz what we really wana get out of this life is

مغفرة من الله و رضوان Forgiveness from Allah and His Good Pleasure

When we love for Allah , the best part is we help each other get close to Allah , When some one marries , one of the most important things out of that marriage is to help eachother get to Jannah and succeed , this life wont last long , a few years n if they both come together n work towards Allah's pleasure orderingthe good and forbidding the evil and helping eachother then for them is the eternal life the ultimate goal n success. So it really is all about the Akhirah so if someone cannot for instance marry a person he/she wants , n he truly loves the person he will still keep them in his duaas.

I came across this thread a couple of days ago , wanted to write soo much had soo much in my mind but now cant put it together. Hope u guys get what im trying to say. And Allah knows best

I have said what i have said , If right then by the Grace of Allah , n if wrong then from my self n shaytaan n i AsK Allah to forgive me , Indeed He is the Most Forgiving.
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Getoffmyback
01-02-2010, 03:31 PM
Its a good experience to be hurt . Master excell your limits.
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- IqRa -
01-09-2010, 03:07 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
theres not a single person in this life who i have managed to forget

wether i have tried or not

once the soul is touched... the affect cannot be removed.


however.. we learn to live with it, goal driven towards the hereafter we manage to alter our souls to accept our fate and live each day as it comes.


may Allah aid us all in our striving
Best advice on this thread, may Allah reward you immensly for this. JazakAllah Khayr.
Reply

Allaah Knows
01-09-2010, 04:22 PM
Time doesn't heal, it merely hardens.

See it this way, a life of hurt that draws you towards your Rabb is better than a life of ease that causes you to become neglectful.

Just remember, that which is with Allaah [ta`aalaa] is better and lasting.

A consoling quote is coming to mind. Im running late but will post up later iA
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