I've tried to gather 5 points which will help you to gain confidence in yourself insha Allah. This will in effect cause you to become more influential and play a more leading role amongst others, instead of being weak and unable to achieve.
1)
It all starts from yourself. You measure yourself, your sincerety, and your actions.
Sincerety:
Sincerety is required in anything, to allow yourself to achieve a final goal. This sincerety encourages you to keep going - even when things aren't going the way you want them to, because you have a greater purpose you want to achieve.
Alot of people say - through personal experience - that when they lose their sincerety to Allah, they don't achieve much in their life. That's why you'll notice that the great leaders of this nation who achieved the most - had the most sincerety to Allah. So the obstacles which came in their way were little in their eyes, even though the problems were like mountains. Whereas the simplest of things are so hard for those lacking sincerety.
"Nothing is easy, except what Allah makes easy".
So understand your sincerety to Allah, its this time when you make du'a to Him more often - because there is none who can help you but him, so He responds to you - giving you the quick, but powerful results. Just think about the time when you didn't pray to Allah to help you in something, what happened? You either missed the target totally, or you reached your target with hardship, frustration and anxiety.
So look at all the great leaders in our Islamic history who achieved alot; the Messengers' of Allah, the companions, and the
Mujadideen [the revivers of this religion.] Now, compare your deeds to theirs. Are they not similar? They're not? Then strive to be like them in as much different ways as you can.
I don't have their knowledge...
You're probably thinking that you don't have as much knowledge as them, so how can you do achieve what they did? The answer is, no. In some cases, some companions of Prophet Muhammad only saw him for a day, heard a few verses of Qur'an, and then went back to their home town, gave them
da'wah [invitation] to Islam, and returned with their whole tribe as Muslims.
That's why, if you're one of those people who read alot of Islamic books, but keep asking why you're imaan isn't increasing as it did from the start. That's because you're not doing anything with that knowledge like you used to in the beginning. So all it does is soak into your mind, give you a 'reading high', and that's about it. I'm not saying that you should give fataawa [islamic legal rulings], but you should share that knowledge, or just strive to become better yourself personally due to that knowledge, even if that includes sacrificing some things in your life for Allah's sake - like you did at the beginning of your Islam! That makes you more determined in giving up the things you love in the future, giving a self confidence boost. I'll comment on this more in point no.3 insha Allah.
The
main point being; You have a greater understanding of this life, and your relationship to it, even more than the 'great' Philosophers like Aristotle, Plato etc. because they had logic and some knowldge, but after all that philosophy, they concluded that there's no real truth in life.
How amazing! Their knowledge and intellect got them nowhere, whereas what Allah has taught you is sufficient, and will make you the most influential human on earth, if you are sincere!
2)
Understand Allah's World.
If you understand yourself, and measure yourself consistently like the early generations of Muslims - you're continuously changing yourself for the better.
But that isn't it, you as a person need to understand the rules of the world Allah created you in. So you understand yourself and your relationship with the world, and its effects on your relationship with Allah.
So now understand Allah's world, and how you're relationship with Allah will be affected through it. In the
Deen [Religion] and
Dunya [Worldly affairs].
Now the average person will react in the world according to how others act. So if someone insults you, you insult back. If someone belittles you, you belittle them back.. sometimes you're weak and unable to insult back, thinking that you've lost. But that's just a limited understanding of the world.
So how does the world run? There's alot of information about it in the Qur'an and ahadith. For instance;
"If you have mercy to the ones on the earth, the One above the heavens [Allah] will have mercy on you." [Sunan al Tirmidhi]
[Sahih] Muslim recorded from Abu Hurayrah that
the Prophet said:
«مَا نَقَصَ مَالٌ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ، وَمَا زَادَ اللهُ عَبْدًا أَنْفَقَ إِلَّا عِزًّا، وَمَنْ تَوَاضَعَ للهِ رَفَعَهُ الله»
(Wealth never decreases because of Sadaqah (charity). Allah never increases a servant who gives in charity except in honor, and whoever is humble for the sake of Allah, Allah will raise him in status.)
So you understand from this, that if you are merciful to others, Allah will be merciful to you. If you humble yourself for Allah's sake, then Allah honours you. If you give to the poor, Allah makes you richer and gives you honor!
However you treat the people, Allah will treat you like that, but in a way that befits His Majesty. So give others, and Allah gives to you. Don't oppress others, because you don't want Allah to punish you. You won't insult others, or harm them unjustly, because you don't want Allah harming you. So instead of wasting your time in harming others, you help mankind for the better, making your scales of good deeds even heavier, without desiring or fearing their praise or criticism.
You're free from them, and their petty arguments.. you're in the skies with the angels by heart, while walking on earth. You're on a straight clear path with light on the other end, while others are pleased with bumping into each other in the darkness of misguidance. What a beautiful flight, with a beautiful destination for the one who truly understands the world of Allah...
We learn from Points #1 & #2:
So you understand from the previous point 1; yourself, criticizing yourself to get closer to Allah, making you reach the heights of the best character.
Previous Point 2: Your relationship with Allah's world, and however you treat the slaves of Allah, that's how Allah will treat you. So you feel comfort in knowing that your actions have reactions, for or against you.
So you understand yourself, and your Owner, and the world that you live in.
3)
Be Brave and Bold [Confident]: -
Now
Point 3: But sometimes, there's a lack of confidence. Why? Because you're scared of your society, that others misunderstand you. You're confident with understanding the rules of what Allah has given you, but there's a shyness to face the world with that good.
So this is why
being Brave is necessary:
Imam Muslim narrated in his Sahih on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.
Guard over that which benefits you, seek Allah’s Assistance, wa laa ta’jiz (do not loose hope or deem yourself incapable), and if something befalls you, then don’t say ‘If I only would have done such and such,’ rather say, ‘Qaddarallahu wa maa sha’ fa’al’ (Allah ordained (this) and He does what He wills), for verily the phrase ‘If I would have’ opens the gate for the work of Shaytan.”
You have a truth which is so powerful, which you comprehend. You just want someone else to promote it everywhere, so that you don't have to, but you can feel happy that people can taste its true sweetness.
But it isn't so easy, because Allah's planned for us something greater. He wants us to get out of our comfort zone, and tell the world of this good. Making you reach the heights of goodness, instead of someone else doing it for you.
He Who created death and life that He may try you-- which of you is best in deeds; and He is the Mighty, the Forgiving,
(Qur'an Mulk 67:2)
Why does being Brave be helpful, and how do you actually achieve it?
First of all, bravery is not like being reckless. Reckless is when you do something without taking the harms into consideration.
Bravery is different though, because you actually plan on doing something which has risks, but you're preparing yourself for any harms that may come out of it, and when they do - you're willing to face the consequences in a responsible way.
So with bravery, you do something which has some risk involved, but if you achieve it - its for a greater good.
Why should I be brave?
Being brave makes you achieve something which you couldn't achieve if you were a coward (someone who lacks the inner strength to do something riskey.)
Being brave makes you surpass your limit to an even higher level. So if you were once afraid to face a fear, by forcing yourself to face it - you've surpassed that limit, so that you're not afraid of that thing anymore. If you continue being brave and forcing yourself to go even further - you gain more strength and inner confidence, and if you persist in coming out of your 'comfort zone' this way - you can achieve more good results in life. You're facing yourself, and your world - raising you in ways you can't imagine.
How do you actually become brave?
Imagine this scene;
Your with your family at home, and you hear a loud noise outside. It shakes your heart, you're scared.
"What was that?" you hear your little brother or sister say.. everyone starts to talk aloud, increasing the panic.
You have a choice, either you stay inside in fear with the family, confused, in doubt. Or you take a deep breath, get up, and go outside to find out what the loud noise was.
You tense yourself, and step outside. And realise it was a big telephone pole of metal which had crashed on the ground.
"'Phew', alhamdulillah it's alright." you go back inside and tell everyone that everythings okay.
Now, if you never had gone outside to check for the noise, you'd simply remain in fear all the time, until someone else informed you of what was happening. You'd continue hearing the whispers, the doubts, the confusion.. increasing you in distress.
But because you went outside, you faced your fear, you ignored the noise of the people, and understood the reality - this relaxed you, and made your heart at ease.
So they returned with favor from Allah and (His) grace, no evil touched them and they followed the pleasure of Allah; and Allah is the Lord of mighty grace. (Qur'an aal Imraan 3:174)
Don't make excuses for yourself!
The
Golden Rule of being Brave -; If you think too long into whether you should face that fear and go ahead, or stay at home. Then you'll simply make excuses for yourself, and most likely choose the more weaker approach.
Remember the story of the companion of Allah's Messenger (sal Allah alaihi wasalam), Ka'b ibn Malik? He always planned to go to the Battle of Tabuk, but the more he delayed his trip, the more he made excuses for himself to stay at home, and in the end he regretted that...
That's why you'll see in many cases that alot of
the intellectual people are the last to get involved in any action-involved activity which involves risks. Why? Because they'll make the most excuses for themselves.
Whereas
someone whose knowledge isn't just intellectual, but balanced with actions in life, does get involved. No Messenger of Allah came to people to give them knowledge only, but every Messenger was ordered to make their people do Actions!, based on knowledge.
So the
final word; you should
think of the benefits you are going to bring, you should take precautions, but then you should move ahead without changing your decision.
4)
Any hardship you face in life, tell yourself; You're getting stronger.
For example, if someone insults you or punches you - don't let it put you down. Instead, this should make you happy and more confident. Remember, life is how you percieve it.
So
that punch you recieved should make you feel stronger, because you're not the first one to recieve a punch for Allah's cause, and now you've faced something in life which you've never experienced before. You're even more aware of how to react next time if you were in a similar situation (in comparison to someone whose never experienced this before). It wasn't as bad as you thought, and it will recover insha Allah.
So you're not scared as much, your mind is set to become even stronger, so any hardship you faced should make you think;
that wasn't too bad, if i face it again - i'll be even stronger than i was then.
This is also related to point 1, because you look upto the great figures in our Islamic history, and how - if they were able to sacrifice so much, and they were humans like us - then why can't we do the same? This is a technique which Allah's Messenger (sal Allah alayhi wasalam) used for his companions, so that when Khubaib was getting thrown on hot burning coal, he complained, and Allah's Messenger said that there were people before you who would be cut in half with a saw, and they never left their covenant with Allah. This made his companions even more stronger.
The final ingredient in this bravery through hardship is the most special -
Belief in Destiny. You actually realise that by putting in this effort, Allah will aid you, and anything you face in this journey of good or bad - Allah has already written it for you. This leaves
no place for regret, just learning from past mistakes, and gaining strength from that for the future.
5)
Set yourself a Goal.
Alot of people want a purpose in the things that they do. When you have a purpose, you do things because you feel you'll get an end result - something to be pleased about. By not having goals in life, you remain in a state of anxiety because you feel worthless.
By making yourself have certain aims in life, you're striving for something. You're wanting to
find the light at the end of the dark tunnel. So you should do new activities for the sake of Allah, to re-lighten your relationship with Allah. These activities might require you to sacrifice something personal, or make changes to yourself for the better. And we know that whenever you sacrifice something for Allah's sake, He replaces it with something even better.
“There is nothing that you leave out of God-consciousness except that Allaah will compensate you with something better” (Musnad Ahmad).
So you continuously raise your self in higher levels of bravery, sacrificing little by little to reach the next level each time, to the extent that you become like a firm mountain which is unmovable. You achieve greater goals for Allah's sake, becoming
stronger against every opposition. This makes Allah proud of you, and you become more confident because Allah bestows upon you more eman [firm faith], and sukoon (tranquility/calmness.)
Mini History Lesson on how the greater Goal is the Most Effective
There are other religions, like Buddhism warriors - which encourage their followers to love this world less, so they continue to achieve goals which require sacrifice, and bravery which takes you to the next level.. these Buddhists won other nations in bravery due to this lack of attachment to the world, but they only fled and lost against the Muslims continuously, because the Muslims had the
greater goal, of Jannah, and Allah's pleasure. Making them successful, in this life, and the next against their enemy.
So the powerful Buddhists, whose secret in victory was distancing from this world only for the sake of this world, they did not have belief in Allah, nor did they believe in a life of reward to come. This was a cause of their loss. While Muslims distanced from this world with the goal of Jannah (Paradise), with trust and hope in Allah's aid, so Allah increased them strength after strength, finally making them victorious.
That's why you'll notice, the Afghanis are a people who have hardly lost a war in history, except against the Muslims. They would never leave their religion of Buddhism, but when the Muslims came - they were defeated, so they accepted Islam, and have stayed firm on their victories, aswell as religion since that time.
The Results...
So your goal is the
most Sincere, most Beneficial, most Powerful, and the
Most rewarding.
This in effect, makes you the most confident of people from mankind. Strive for it, and ask Allah to help you.. and it might just be that Allah brings alot of good through you for mankind, in this life and the next.