Relationships

[katieee]

hope your are all well :statisfie

I was just wondering I was talking with a Muslim friend of mine
about boyfriends . I currently am dating my boyfriend who is Muslim , and have been for the past year . I wanted to know do i have to give this up ?

My friend was saying to me there was somthing about being in a relationship with my boyfriend is ok if it has been sort of done like a contract .. not sure of all the details .. :embarrass . But if anyone could please give me some facts or if anyone else out there is in a similar situation would give their thoughts

peace & love

[KittenLover]

your friend is on about a "Nikah" it basically means marriage, cos as Muslim's we're not allowed to have relationships with the opposite gender outside of marriage.

and if he's sexually active and intimate with you then he's committing a major sin, I don't want to offend you here but be carefull cos many muslim guys who don't follow the religion and were just born into it go after non muslim girls because they'll do stuff with them, and they have no care for their religion.

but when it comes down to long term comittment like marriage they run away. jus be careful.

[Taqiyah]

if he's sexually active and intimate with you then he's committing a major sin, I don't want to offend you here but be carefull cos many muslim guys who don't follow the religion and were just born into it go after non muslim girls because they'll do stuff with them, and they have no care for their religion.

but when it comes down to long term comittment like marriage they run away. jus be careful.

Salam...I think the sister asking the question is Muslim herself...at least that is what her profile says....way of life Muslim. I guess she just wants to know more info about the islamic rules regarding relationships with the opposite ...just wanted to point that out..

[cat eyes]

your friend is on about a "Nikah" it basically means marriage, cos as Muslim's we're not allowed to have relationships with the opposite gender outside of marriage.

and if he's sexually active and intimate with you then he's committing a major sin, I don't want to offend you here but be carefull cos many muslim guys who don't follow the religion and were just born into it go after non muslim girls because they'll do stuff with them, and they have no care for their religion.

but when it comes down to long term comittment like marriage they run away. jus be careful.

i agree hes more then likely not a practising muslim if hes committing zina with you and i see he has not bothered to tell you either:hmm:

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[cat eyes]

"Nor come nigh to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)." [Qur'an 17:32]

"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication - flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the Believers witness their punishment." [Qur'an 24:2]

"Those who bring the charge of adultery against chaste women but cannot produce four witnesses to prove the charge, give them 80 lashes and their testimony should never be believed." [Qur'an 24:4]

Source: http://muslim-canada.org/sex.htm
:wa:

[Hamza Asadullah]

hope your are all well :statisfie

I was just wondering I was talking with a Muslim friend of mine
about boyfriends . I currently am dating my boyfriend who is Muslim , and have been for the past year . I wanted to know do i have to give this up ?

My friend was saying to me there was somthing about being in a relationship with my boyfriend is ok if it has been sort of done like a contract .. not sure of all the details .. :embarrass . But if anyone could please give me some facts or if anyone else out there is in a similar situation would give their thoughts

peace & love

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister Relationships are totally forbidden in Islam.

Almighty Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them.” and says: “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman.” [Al-Mundhirî mentions that all the narrators of this hadîth are trustworthy]

This is said about when one just touches the opposite sex but what about a close contact relationship? How much worse must it be?

Unfortunatley it has become like the norm nowadays and because these relationships are devoid of any peace and blessings they usually end up in breakups or not working out and they end up causing terrible pain, hurt mental scarring which may last for a very long time and it can even lead to depression and suicidal feelings. It can have devastating effects on a person and can waste a significant amount of a person time even years. It can leave a person feelng depleted and without any motivation.

How can a relationship which is forbidden in the eyes of Allah be successful or bring peace and blessings to a persons life?

The people involved in these relationships end up getting cheated on, used and abused and lead on. The guy or girl gets what they want out of the relatuionship and then when they have no need for it they end up leaving it which can result in terrible torture for the person involved.

You and your partner may talk about having a life together but they are all dreams and fantasy and very rarely turn out to be realitiy.

It always starts as something innocent like having an innocent friendship with the opposite sex and then inevitabley it moves onto feelings developing between the guy and girl and then it goes on from there. It is shaythan who is fooling us into thinking that this is innocent and won't ever lead to anything but in fact doing is he is luring us into his trap!

Once the feelings have developed it then becomes very difficult for the couple to let go of each other and then inevitabley someone will get hurt and even scarred for life and gain the wrath and anger of Allah!


Don't let shaythan fool you any longer into continuing with this forbidden relationship. This relationship is only gaining the anger and wrath of Allah. It will not give you any happiness or contentment. Happiness, contentment and tranquility in the heart only results from obeying the commands of Allah and not going against them.

My sister leave this relationship immediatley and tell him that you both are committing a major sin and should not continue having a relationship. You should tell him that you fear Allah because your lives can end at any moment so you cannot afford to be committing these major sins.

If you really want to marry him sister then do things the right way then Allah will surely give you blessings and peace in your marriage but if you continue with this evil path, then when things go wrong then you only have yourself to blame and trust me people who have experienced this pain will tell you how terrible it is. This is your chance of getting out of it and saving yourself.

Allah has inclined you to come into this forum so that you realise that you cannot continue with this forbidden relationship. It is only harming you and will only cause you destruction in this world and the next.

My sister your doing this for yourself not anyone else. You have to save yourself from the fire that is feuled by men and stones.

Our life is too short my sister and we can go at any second that is the reality. We don't know when that time will come and what will be our fate if our death comes whilst we are committing a major sin? We will surely be doomed.

Yu should realise that our purpose in this life is not to follow our desires or do what we want but our purpose is to obey the commands of Allah and to worship him. If we choose not to do this and it is upto us if we don;t then know that we will have to face the consequances.

Allah only wants what is best for us sister. Most people who come out of these relationships hurt,scarred and in pain realise that they should have listened to Allah at the beginning and saved themselves from this torture of break ups. So heed the warning my sister and do what is best for you and stop this relationship at once.

Just earlier on i read a story about a 6 year old girl who died without a cause. She just collapsed and died. Recently my cousin sister also died and she was only 26. Can we guarantee that we have another die to live? Can we be sure that we will live to see daylight? No one can be sure of this so the time to change ourselves is now before preperations are made for our own funeral arrangements.

Don't let the peer pressure and the fact that other people around are having relationships or have friends who are guys pressure you into conforming to what they do. If they disobey Allah then will you do the same? If they want to fall into destruction then will you do the same?

This is the time we should be spending in trying to get the closest to Allah otherwise when we have no time left surely we will regret every second we wasted of this life and we won't be able to go back this is our only one chance!

Get into the habit of praying Salaah and doing other good actions. Salaah is the most important action that we need to undertake as Muslims in our daily lives everyday after our imaan (faith) and when we pray Salah we are actually meeting with Allah 5 times daily. Without prayer we have nothing.
We should not be Muslims by name but we should practise our beautiful deen because we have been given imaan(faith) and faith is not given to everyone. We are so lucky that we have been given faith and we will never realise how lucky we truly are.

Youth is a very precious time and we should be making the best use of it before it is gone. The worship of the youth is better than when we grow old.This is the time when we have the most desires so if we restrain ourselves from our desires now then Allah will be happy with us and will give us countless rewards.

It is also easier to get into good habits when we are young so get into the habit of praying Salah now and learn as much knowledge as you can because your mind is fresh and you can learn much easier now than later on in your life.

My Sister It’s just about making a routine for ourselves! If we have a daily routine of work, praying remembrance of Allah, reading the Qur'an and learning about Islam then we are more likely to stick to it and implement it throughout our daily life.

When you get into the habit of praying then everything will become easier for you. It is just right now shaythan is trying to make you think its impossible for you and he is trying to make you think that you can't do it and that it is not in your capacity to do it but he is just trying to knock your confidence in yourself! You have the ability to do ANYTHING!

Once you get into the habit of praying you will NEVER look back again and you will think why I didn’t start earlier!

I believe in you Sister and know you can do this for you are MUCH stronger than shaythan and you can get into the habit of namaz without any problems but you have to act NOW and NEVER put this off again and say soon or tomorrow because tomorrow or soon NEVER comes but NOW is the time my Sister!

My Sister Allah has not asked much from us in this life compared to what he's got on offer for us in the hereafter! Allah has just asked us for full obedience to him for such a short amount of time- (70 years to the most) and in return for our obedience he has promised us ETERENITY of bliss!

So that's: Obedience to Allah for the duration of our short lives = Eternity of bliss in the hereafter

Is that not the most amazing offer one can EVER imagine or comprehend? On top of that Allah has given us everything we need, life, shelter, wealth, food, clothing I can go on and on the favours of Allah FOREVER!

So not only has Allah provided us with everything we can imagine but he has asked us to do a little in return for an eternity of bliss and we still can't manage it? Were pathetic it’s as simple as that!

There is 1440 minutes in a day and on average all the salah if we add it up takes around 40 minutes in total a day so that’s 40 minutes for Allah out of 1440 minutes in a day that’s just 3% of our day that we need to pray to Allah and we still can't manage that! We are truly pathetic and we will truly regret it on the day of judgement FOREVER and by then it would have been too late!

My Sister after EVERYTHING Allah has given us, we can’t even manage to spend just 40 minutes out of 1440 minutes for him? Almighty Allah does not need us at all sister but we really need him!

My Sister I would recommend that you start off praying salah in your own pace. Start off praying one salah a day for example Isha for about 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after that pray 3 Salah a day and then 2 weeks after that again pray 3 salah a day and inshallah in a few weeks you will be praying all 5 Salah a day!

Don't go slower than this sister because shaythan will try and slow your progress but keep strong and your your purpose and that you have to obey the commands of Allah because you may return to Allah any second!

You should also write down your progress and keep a record in a table of how many salah's your praying everyday and how many you are increasing it by weekly.

Let us not waste anymore time. We have no time to waste in the first place. It is your life but you have been told and whatever you choose to do, choose to do that which will benefit you in this world and the next.

If you have any other questions then please don't hesitate to ask.

Please watch these short lectures as they will open your eyes upto reality and make you realise your purpose:


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

Anwar Al Awlaki - Jannah Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYOmbYumZD8

Anwar Al Awlaki - Jannah Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLw5OGuZAIM

Importance of prayer

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Importance of Prayer (Salat)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNDb41OH46A



Download this brilliant E book to learn all of the basics of Islam and more

Islam Beliefs and Teachings


http://www.islamicbulletin.com/servi...ls.aspx?id=268



Learn what your praying in Salah


The translation of salat (namaz) - learn what you’re reading in namaz


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38303



10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html (10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith))



Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It



http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm

[zakirs]

:sl:

As many have explained it is totally NOT OK to have a bf/gf in islam.period.

If you think you like thak person ask your father to talk on your behalf to that guys parents about marriage. If you are too young or not ready for marriage you have to give this up sorry :(.

Its difficult but its totally worth it :)

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu alaaykum..
I totally agree with every word bro Hamza said..MashaAllaah.it really touched me, and made me realise Subhan`Allaah .we must learn to control and learn to follow what is good for us, because there is always something better in store for u.. for.e.g. Marriage is much better than having boyfriend and girlfriend relationships..
..Because thats the way the creator has made it for you, that is his way Indeed!!!!
Wa alaaaykum salaam

[Grofica]

but dating does not mean have uhmmmmm "relations" as far as i know the "kids" (wow that makes me sound old) are allowed to go out and do stuff just a chaperon (spelling?) must be present...

and normally that chaperon is the brother or father of the girl right?????

im not positive but i think she just means shes intrested in him and they have been spending time together... please correct me if i am wrong on any point.

[zakirs]

:sl:

Sister i think i might slightly disagree , i would be ok with a boy and girl of 10 years age to go out to park and play football or whatever. But i wouldn't be ok with my self 4 years ago ( 16 yrs) going out with a girl because althought i am a kid (mentally ) i might be sexually active and shaitan may get better of me :) .

So just to be careful its best to avoid it once you know you are mature :)

[GuestFellow]

hope your are all well :statisfie

I was just wondering I was talking with a Muslim friend of mine
about boyfriends . I currently am dating my boyfriend who is Muslim , and have been for the past year . I wanted to know do i have to give this up ?

My friend was saying to me there was somthing about being in a relationship with my boyfriend is ok if it has been sort of done like a contract .. not sure of all the details .. :embarrass . But if anyone could please give me some facts or if anyone else out there is in a similar situation would give their thoughts

peace & love

Dating is haraam, you cannot have a relationship with another man, this can only take place within marriage. Fornication is haraam.

I assume your friend was referring to the " nikah.'' It is a marriage contract. You need to be married to have a relationship with another Muslim man.

You should end this relationship.

[katieee]

Thank you guys for all your replies ..

And just to confirm a few details . No we just enjoy eachothers company its not having " relations " i meant just being close . We have known eachother for such a long time and im so close to his family his mum and dad see me as a daughter and give me a lot of support . We both want to get married but i feel im too young :( . I guess I will take
Hamza's great advice .

Thank you all ..

Peace , Love

[cat eyes]

Thank you guys for all your replies ..

And just to confirm a few details . No we just enjoy eachothers company its not having " relations " i meant just being close . We have known eachother for such a long time and im so close to his family his mum and dad see me as a daughter and give me a lot of support . We both want to get married but i feel im too young :( . I guess I will take
Hamza's great advice .

Thank you all ..

Peace , Love

what you are doing is still against islam sister like holding eachother and comforting one another just because your young so that gives us a right to committ sins?? why not marry?? what is wrong with marriage sister? ud rather live in sin oh my gosh :cry:

[KittenLover]

^ I agree with sis cat eyes, you could always get married and still live with your parents, just cos your married doesn't mean you have to live with each other and everything.

things could remain exactly as they are now but the only difference is your married and your relationship is halal.

I know of some 1 who did a nikah with a girl and they live in seperate places, but they meet each other all the time and hang out with each other. then go back home.

they felt they wern't ready to run a house and have kids so they got married and jus carried on exactly the same like they were before.

[maisha]

i dont THINK thats aloud :)

[Italianguy]

:sl:

Sister i think i might slightly disagree , i would be ok with a boy and girl of 10 years age to go out to park and play football or whatever. But i wouldn't be ok with my self 4 years ago ( 16 yrs) going out with a girl because althought i am a kid (mentally ) i might be sexually active and shaitan may get better of me :) .

So just to be careful its best to avoid it once you know you are mature :)

Good point bro. I as a Christian am not supposed to be involved in this either. so iguess the best way to avoid a possibility of physical relations from becoming a problem is just to not put your self in that position.

[Donia]

Thank you guys for all your replies ..

And just to confirm a few details . No we just enjoy eachothers company its not having " relations " i meant just being close . We have known eachother for such a long time and im so close to his family his mum and dad see me as a daughter and give me a lot of support . We both want to get married but i feel im too young :( . I guess I will take
Hamza's great advice .

Thank you all ..

Peace , Love

:sl:

Sis, why do you think you are too young? Is it just an age thing or do you not feel *ready* (emotionally or whatever the case may be) to get married? I'm just curious because if you are so close to this guy and you both want to get married... then why not? Marriage is a good thing and it can protect you from a lot of evil (relationships outside of marriage, etc.) insha'Allah...
How blessed you are to have found someone you get along so well with.. alhumdulillah..
Seriously, I think you should consider the marriage..
But if not.. then just avoid him insha'Allah..

[YusufNoor]

hope your are all well :statisfie

I was just wondering I was talking with a Muslim friend of mine
about boyfriends . I currently am dating my boyfriend who is Muslim , and have been for the past year . I wanted to know do i have to give this up ?

My friend was saying to me there was somthing about being in a relationship with my boyfriend is ok if it has been sort of done like a contract .. not sure of all the details .. :embarrass . But if anyone could please give me some facts or if anyone else out there is in a similar situation would give their thoughts

peace & love

:sl:

no one mentioned it, but you CAN do a nikah W/O completing the contract [erm, and by that i mean having sex]. BUT it makes it halal for you to be together. i'm guessing that is what you were talking about.

virgin contract or marriage. that doesn't imply someone's status prior to the nikah, it refers to your status DURING the nikah. NO SEX! have sex and you will have completed the contract and hubby has to star supporting you. well, cuz he's your husband then.

we used to have some posts on it, but i couldn't find it.

perhaps this will refresh someones memory and they will find it. just don't take my word for it, let someone find the daleel.

and Allah knows best.

:wa: