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AnonymousPoster
12-30-2009, 11:25 AM
One of my relative who is in japan
he denies to marry when ever his parents take the subject of merraige

he starts to ignore he is very close to me then I asked him are u g*y ?

he started to blame me and said "R U MAD"

and suddenly said abdul kalam is g*y

and some scientist r g*y

did I did anything wrong ?imsad

then he suddenly signed off now I am worying did I say any thing wrong ? imsad:cry:

If I said some thing wrong what should I do next ?
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-31-2009, 04:02 AM
:sl:
^he's probably just getting over the fact that he has let his secret out...thats why he probably signed out abruptly.

as his friend, you need to guide and advise him that homosexuality is not permissible (he probably already knows but you need to "ingrain" it in him that it is a no go zone). how you deal with this, is dependent on your friends situation.
does he feel guilty about this and does he want to change? if yes, this makes your job a little easier as he already knows the mistake which is an important foundation to change. so basically all you have to do here is be there for him with gentle reminders becuase he already knows what he is doing wrong, but he just needs that little "push" in the right direction. maybe by joking around somehow it will soften his heart more then being dead serious in the manner you advise him.


if he does not feel guilty, and thinks he is doing something right, the best way to tackle this is to *try* ingrain in him taqwa. ask him does he love allah? does he love the prophets of allah? im guessing he will say yes, so you have to say, is this what allah loves, etc etc etc.
i think the best way to do this is to preach to him/get him to practice as to increase his iman that way he is focused properly on his goals (i.e the aakhira) which acts as an "anesthetic" to the trials of this dunya...so basically an increase of iman puts things into perspective. In this instance, you dont need to necessarily preach to him that homosexuality is haram, but maybe even by him listening to a lecture about jannah will help as well.

also, he is going to be looking towards someone who will tell him what he wants to hear, so you need to reverse this. dont get harsh or angry with him, advise him through kind words (reverse psychology). perhaps even as a close friend, tell him that him doing this, is upsetting to you.

try to find out what it is that makes him have this mindset and remove it (he may live in a city where this is normal :$). make sure he sits and its among righteous people and stays away from beardless youths.


lastly make dua for him
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Alpha Dude
12-31-2009, 11:15 AM
Just because he hasn't married yet, it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay.

^he's probably just getting over the fact that he has let his secret out...thats why he probably signed out abruptly.
How did you work that one out? o_O lol...

If I said some thing wrong what should I do next ?
It's simple. Just say you're sorry.
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Rafeeq
12-31-2009, 11:51 AM
My vote is with Alpha Dude. There is a list of very popular people who are not married, it does not mean they are ....

Just say sorry and as you are his friend, try to find out why he is not getting married. A good listener may bring very deep secret of his/her friend's heart.
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zakirs
12-31-2009, 11:59 AM
he might have had some personal problems and might have been offended :). Its ok leave him alone.
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cat eyes
12-31-2009, 03:16 PM
sis this has just made me laugh im sorry but i cant believe you accused him of being gay just because hes not ready for marriage lol maybe hes to comfortable with his life that hes not thinking bout marriage right now
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Ummu Sufyaan
01-01-2010, 03:06 AM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
Just because he hasn't married yet, it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay.
i was thinking the same, but then OP said this "and suddenly said abdul kalam is g*y"

i initially thought maybe he was in love with another girl or something until i read that.

How did you work that one out? o_O lol...
becuase when you tell someone something really secretive, you want to run away :hiding:

sis this has just made me laugh im sorry but i cant believe you accused him of being gay just because hes not ready for marriage lol maybe hes to comfortable with his life that hes not thinking bout marriage right now
he started to blame me and said "R U MAD" and suddenly said abdul kalam is g*y
where is the accusation? i either misunderstood or you did.
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