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Almost all of us have to deal with this emotion in life. But sometimes it becomes a little difficult to handle. Like other emotions, anger too is accompanied by physiological and biological change. It means when we get angry, our heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of our energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
It can be caused internally or externally. Externally by other’s behaviours or words or some events and internally when we worry and panic about things or think about the unhappy memories or any trauma or the situation that we may have to face in future.
Common ways to deal with Anger:
Now there are different conscious and unconscious ways that people adapt to handle anger.
Mainly these ways are to
1. Express
2. Suppress
3. Calm
When expressing anger most of the times we are not happy about the outcomes. We sometimes might loose a friend, loose some opportunities or feel embarrassed afterwards, if we simply let it all rip. To suppress the anger is also not healthy as it might turn to self and cause anxiety, depression, hypertension, inferiority complex leaving a person cynical, negative, hostile, criticising everyone and above all alone and unwanted. Calming down without sorting it out is also not a solution as it means the anger is still there but it has rifted inside.
Reasons for This Emotion:
There are a number of reasons. Sometimes it’s a very early age emotion. We might have got this problem genetically. It can that we did not learn to handle it ever from the childhood. It can be a social and cultural reason too. It also can be the ongoing behaviour towards life that is accumulating this very negative ruining power inside us.
Above all it’s a sign an inside call telling and warning us that there are issues to be sorted out and we can’t go on in life with the way the things are.
Anger Management:
When angry people use colourful words and loud voices to shout and swear. They often get physical too. Now the goal is to know and understand what is going on.
Life is full of these situations and we cannot ever control the whole world. What we desire is to change ourselves and be in control in regards to our actions.
Some helpful strategies
On the Spot agenda:
• Relaxing helps a lot. Even simple techniques as deep breathing, chining the body posture help to calm the anger down miraculously.
There are courses and books available about these techniques and they help on individual level or with a partner too.
• Slowly say and repeat the words or phrases that help to relax i.e. relax, easy, it’s all going to be ok etc.
• Imagine a happy scene when you relaxed and happy or visualise the person who you feel relaxed and happy with.
• Relaxing your muscles that you feel in pressure will help dramatically.
Long run plan:
1: Be logical
Change the way you look at things. Try to analyse the situation from other point of views. Know and tell yourself that you are in charge and you are going to deal it without messing it out. Tell yourself that others are not enemies and they can be true too. Things can happen other ways too. Anger subsides when dealt rationally.
2: Be open and communicate
Listen to the voice inside you carefully and analyse yourself coldly. See what is the hidden catch behind this anger. Listen to others too and try to understand where the problem lies. Explain yourself in a nice and better way thoroughly and in detail keeping calm so that people know what you are expecting. Ask others too if you have any misunderstandings or doubts about anything. Do not leave anything to the imagination.
3:Change the environment
Try to change the things, places or company that makes you angry. Change your routine. Change the mental and physical environment.
4: Take a break
Take some time out of your routine. Treat yourself softly and carefully once a while and keep some special me time even if it is 15 minutes a day.
5: Solutions
Write down the problems in detail and carefully think of the solution as many as possible and write them down too. Discuss with the people that you think can help. Resolve the problem.
Sometimes avoiding the situation is the best solution. So do not hesitate to try this.
Seeking alternatives is another good option. See what suits you best.
Do you need counselling?
If you think that you or a dear one has this problem and anger is affecting the relationships or life in a way you do not approve then you might wish to seek counselling.
A psychologist, psychotherapist or other licensed professional might help you to learn many techniques that are helpful in anger management.
You can never eliminate the anger but wit right training it can be controlled and moved to a lesser level.
Courses and further help and guidance are available at
www.divinesystemrestoration.com
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