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nicelady
12-31-2009, 09:02 PM
I am new and did not want to post until I introduced myself. I will have a lot of questions so I hope everyone is patient with me. My husband is Muslim. I converted before I married him, but am no religion. I cannot accept that God/Allah is not for all people, not just persons of one religion. I find that idea that God/Allah can only be mericful to those of a particular religion unfair. I believe that God/Allah sees all good people the same, regardless of his or her religion.
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Cabdullahi
12-31-2009, 09:10 PM
salam and welcome


Allah loves all those who believe in his existence and only his , if you believe in that then you ought to believe in muhammed,jesus,moses and the other prophets who transmitted what god revealed to them and the last of the transmissions was the quran and the message of islam
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Italianguy
12-31-2009, 09:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
I am new and did not want to post until I introduced myself. I will have a lot of questions so I hope everyone is patient with me. My husband is Muslim. I converted before I married him, but am no religion. I cannot accept that God/Allah is not for all people, not just persons of one religion. I find that idea that God/Allah can only be mericful to those of a particular religion unfair. I believe that God/Allah sees all good people the same, regardless of his or her religion.
Welcome to the forum:D
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UmmSqueakster
12-31-2009, 09:20 PM
Welcome to the forum! The Divine is for all people, and in this life, His Mercy is for all as well. It is just that in His infinate Mercy, He has given us the best way to follow Him, and a teacher to show us the way ;)
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Insaanah
12-31-2009, 09:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
I am new and did not want to post until I introduced myself. I will have a lot of questions so I hope everyone is patient with me. My husband is Muslim. I converted before I married him, but am no religion. I cannot accept that God/Allah is not for all people, not just persons of one religion. I find that idea that God/Allah can only be mericful to those of a particular religion unfair. I believe that God/Allah sees all good people the same, regardless of his or her religion.
A very warm welcome to you, nicelady! :D

I loove your username.

Please feel free to ask all your questions, and to ask for clarification on matters that don't seem to add up for you. We're all here to help :)

If you don't mind my asking, what did you convert to before you married?

Imagine you parents that brought you up with so much trouble, love and care. Then you either don't acknowledge at all what they did for you, or you falsely acknowledge others along with them as having brought you up eg, say someone else's parents. Would you say that was fair and correct? How would they feel?

In the same way we have to acknowledge and believe and worship the ONLY one who created us and gave us everything we need.

Allah sent messengers (peace be upon them all) to guide us, so all people at all times that followed that guidance that God sent the messengers with, without distorting it, eg rejecting messengers, or exaggerating their status to something it wasn't etc, nor associating others in His divinity, would be loved by God.

That's why we believe in ALL the messengers from A-Z, from Adam to Muhammad (peace be upon them all). They all brought the same message which was "Worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord, and associate none in His divinity." But people later changed/distorted/altered the teachings of the earlier messengers. The last messenger's (peace be upon him) teachings are unchanged, and confirm the original guidance sent with the earlier prophets.

Peace.
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Rabi'ya
12-31-2009, 10:20 PM
:sl:

Welcome to Li. I am sure you will make many friends and learn lots about Islam as a way of life.

i look forward to your posts.

See you around!
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glo
12-31-2009, 10:26 PM
Welcome to the forum, nice lady. I hope you are true to your name! :D

May I ask how you could marry a Muslim man, without really following a religion yourself?
As far as I understand that not permissible in Islam.

I agree with you that God is there for all people, and that he loves us all. :)
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Italianguy
12-31-2009, 10:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
Welcome to the forum, nice lady. I hope you are true to your name! :D

May I ask how you could marry a Muslim man, without really following a religion yourself?
As far as I understand that not permissible in Islam.

I agree with you that God is there for all people, and that he loves us all. :)
Very true, i was just thinking that?
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Misz_Muslimah
12-31-2009, 10:45 PM
Hello nicelady and welcome to the forum :)
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nicelady
12-31-2009, 11:41 PM
Hi Glo,
Yes, you are correct. The only religious women allowed to marry an Islamic man are Christian, Jewish or Islamic. I was none of those, thus I converted to Islam before my husband could or would marry me. I do pray in Arabic 5 times a day, give zakat, and fast during Ramadan. I studied Islam for the last 3 years and read and studied the Quran as well as read many of the Hadiths.
However, I will repeat again, I am no religion. Yes, this puts my husband in a very bad position, making our marriage Haram. However, he says I am Muslim since I follow the 5 pillars. So that is how he rationalizes this.
As to others who commented, as they must and as I expected, that Islam is the final religion given by God. I refuse to accept this. It does not matter what is first or last or in the middle, at least not to me. I will repeat and repeat: all good people who follow goodness and kindness and generosity and a pure heart are equally loved by God/Allah. No dogma or rules or regilious doctrine can convince me otherwise. Any God/Allah who limited his acceptance and love on good people who happen to be no particular religion is not the kind of God I will believe in. HE/SHE is beyond the petty need to have it only one way. That is one of the most important reasons He or She is divine and superior in all ways.
To say the most important thing of all, I am here because it causes me great pain that I know in my heart my beautiful, good, moral, Islamic husband is at risk of hell and is living in sin. If he believed this, he would immediately divorce me. So IF and that is a huge if, I could believe that Islam is the final only correct religion, I would certainly do so as my husband is the most important thing on earth to me. Believe me, if I could believe God picked one way to think and believe, I certainly would for my husband.
Personally, I care nothing about myself; I am riddled with guilt that I am ruining his purity, at least according to Islamic belief. My husband's entire life and prespective and goal and motive is Islam. His greatest desire is to go to Al Janna.
I have no idea how any of you can help me. My husband tells me to pray to have faith. I cannot even do that as to me it is totally evil to be only one religion. When we begin to judge others according to what religion they happen to be, then we are following the path of Satan-----------------at least those are my feelings. I say we all should look for the similarities in each other, not pick some narrow perspective to judge those who are right or wrong.
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Muslim Woman
01-01-2010, 12:38 AM
Salaam/Peace

format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
... I find that idea that God/Allah can only be mericful to those of a particular religion unfair.
Welcome to the forum .

God is kind to all in this world. To get rewards from God in hereafter , one needs to worship Him without any partner and obey the messengers He sent to us.

If one does not believe in one God and reject His Prophets pbut then s/he does not deserve the same rewards as believers who worshipped God alone. This is very logical , why u find this unfair ??
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Muslim Woman
01-01-2010, 12:51 AM
Salaam/Peace

format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
.. he says I am Muslim since I follow the 5 pillars. So that is how he rationalizes this.
.

to be a Muslim / to remain as a Muslim , one needs to believe in heart and gives the testimonies that there is no god but God and Muhammed pbuh is the final Prophet of God.

If u don't believe in these , then u are not a Muslim . Your husband must face this harsh truth .

May Allah guides us all and keep us away from all kinds of illegal relationships. Ameen.
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جوري
01-01-2010, 01:02 AM
:welcome: aboard nice lady..

I think the only way you can help yourself and your husband is to get a divorce..
There is no reason for you to live a lie, or to make him bear the sin of deluding himself that you are something which you clearly aren't!

all the best
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Rabi Mansur
01-01-2010, 04:34 AM
:sl:


:welcome: Nice lady.

I appreciate your honesty. Hope you can find some answers here.

:wa:
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glo
01-01-2010, 09:10 AM
Nice lady, you sound like a very caring and soul-searching person. You are very welcome here. :)

I am wondering this: If you don't believe Islam to be the true and final revelation of God, why then do you fear for your husband's afterlife?
If you are convinced that he is a good man and loved by God, then why should he be living in sin and why should God wish to punish him?

You sound like a wonderful couple. I pray for you and your marriage, and that God may guide you.

Salaam
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zakirs
01-01-2010, 12:15 PM
Salaam sister :).

MashaAllah for making the effort to come here.We really appreciate that.

I have no idea how any of you can help me. My husband tells me to pray to have faith.
We could help you by clarifying your doubts regarding religion ?.

I cannot even do that as to me it is totally evil to be only one religion. When we begin to judge others according to what religion they happen to be, then we are following the path of Satan-----------------at least those are my feelings. I say we all should look for the similarities in each other, not pick some narrow perspective to judge those who are right or wrong.
Sister its not for us to judge if one is going to heaven or not. Its totally up to god. A man who looks totally pious and prays 5 times a day could go to hell because he had a bad heart.A man who lives in a forest and never knew what religion is could go to heaven because he was a good man inside. Its all up to the creator (whom we call Allah) to decide. You may call him God or saviour or merciful or what ever. But the fact remains that the source of creation of all these things is only 1.

When we begin to judge others according to what religion they happen to be, then we are following the path of Satan-----------------at least those are my feelings. I say we all should look for the similarities in each other, not pick some narrow perspective to judge those who are right or wrong.
“Good and evil are not alike. Repel evil with what is better. Then he, between whom and you there was hatred, will become as though he was a bosom friend.” (Quran 41:34)

Sister what you have said is true we should not see each other with hatred and its duty of every muslim to show absolute compassion and kindness to non muslims. Remember our beloved prophet (pbuh) was given refuge by Jews when he was driven away from his hometown of mecca.

But the fact remains is while we should not judge each other there is only one truth. Say two scientists propose a theory about a single entity and they donot go with each other , then only one of them may be right (i.e they both aren't true at the same time ).
Hence we belive there is only one true religion. It doesn't mean we should look down upon them or what ever. But it is our responsibility to try to show them and explain to them why we think Islam is the right path.

May Allah guide you sister :)
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 01:43 PM
Dear Zakiris,

I appreciate your taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. Thank you for reminding me that it is Allah alone who decides who is worthy and will go to heaven. I will take this as the answer to my dilemma. My husband is a truly good man in his actions, in his thoughts, in his soul, to be truthful the finest man I have ever known; and I come from a very fine family with very good men. May Allah be merciful to him as I believe the God of love is.
Thank you so much,
nicelady
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Raaina
01-01-2010, 01:49 PM
Salaam, welcome to the forum. :)

You've an interesting story and an interesting first post. I look forward to reading more of them :)
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zakirs
01-01-2010, 01:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
Dear Zakiris,

I appreciate your taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. Thank you for reminding me that it is Allah alone who decides who is worthy and will go to heaven. I will take this as the answer to my dilemma. My husband is a truly good man in his actions, in his thoughts, in his soul, to be truthful the finest man I have ever known; and I come from a very fine family with very good men. May Allah be merciful to him as I believe the God of love is.
Thank you so much,
nicelady
Sister nicelady ,

Its ok to have doubts about religion and god .. never look down upon self.I believe you are just as good as ur husband is. You just need to walk a yard more and make the effort to do self-soul search and think what really are your beliefs about god. :)

Have a nice day :)
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 01:51 PM
Dear Glo,

As I was writing to you, I was thinking the exact thing you stated in your response to me. Thank you for stating the obvious. I do tear myself to shreds in the attempt to find the ultimate truth in all things, and you stated the truth as I, with my philosophy towards God/Allah.
I will trust in the mercy of God in sincerest hopes that He is all I imagine Him to be in my heart.
Thank you, too, for your kind words and understanding of me as the kind of person I truly try to be,
Nicelady
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 01:59 PM
Hello,

I like your choice of the word "best." It is far more acceptible to me than "only."

Happy New Year and thanks,
nicelady
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 02:13 PM
Dear Muslim Woman,

I do agree with almost all you stated in your response to me; however, my perspective is different. Where your response comes into dispute for me is one in your word "reward." I am not seeking reward from any source other than knowing I make others happy around me, that I am fair and loving and pure of heart. The other, and equally important reward is in liking myself, my actions and thoughts, in beating back any behaviors or thoughts I do not like in myself. I strive to be the best I can be, not for reward, but because it is a deep and sincere desire for me to be good. That is the reward in and of itself.
The other problem in the wording of your response is in limiting God to finding those who worship in the exact way you state. Why limit God's mercy to a creed? Why not consider that we are all finding goodness and one God in the way we do, not in a dictated way? The God in my heart does not see things so narrowly or matter of factly. He looks at the entire picture, not a small limited area.
These are only my personal thoughts and beliefs; in no way am I trying to say your way is not as correct.
Thank you for reading,
Nicelady
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 02:22 PM
Hello Gossamer,

Of course, I thought of this, and did expect that as a response and solution. It is true and matter of fact.
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Asiyah3
01-01-2010, 03:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
I am new and did not want to post until I introduced myself. I will have a lot of questions so I hope everyone is patient with me. My husband is Muslim. I converted before I married him, but am no religion. I cannot accept that God/Allah is not for all people, not just persons of one religion. I find that idea that God/Allah can only be mericful to those of a particular religion unfair. I believe that God/Allah sees all good people the same, regardless of his or her religion.
Peace,

Welcome, It's great to have you here, nicelady:statisfie Insha'lLah, I hope you will get an answer to all your questions. Sister, it is very very wrong for you to stay with your husband, do you realize what kinda MAJOR sin you're making him do? I am very sorry, but if you care even a little about your husband, then you should think about the severe punishment of Allah. (I'm sorry that I might sound harsh, I know you are not a bad person.) Please, the best thing you can do is to leave him as long as you don't believe in Islam at the same time you could study and explore.

"For him is every good that he has done and against him is every evil he has committed" [Baqarah]

"Whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it, and whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it." (99:7-8)

_______________________________________
“and My Mercy embraces all things” [al-A’raaf 7:156]

It was narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?’ We said, ‘No, by Allaah, not if she is able not to.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Allaah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.’”
Al-Bukhaari, 5653; Muslim, 6912.

“And We have sent you (O Muhammad) not but as a mercy for the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”

“Declare (O Muhammad) unto My slaves, that truly, I am the Oft-Forgiving, the Most-Merciful."
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 04:26 PM
Hello Muslim,
How could I have ever been foolish enough to expect some kind of answer that was not either or? I am naive at best to even think a religious person could think outside their narrow box.
Thanks (and I am being totally sarcastic when I use the word "thanks") for your answer which gives more fuel to the impossibility for me to be any religion.
Just as I said, the one God I believe in would never ever judge like this. At least not my idea of God; you can have any vision of God you choose. That is freedom. But do not put me in your tiny box of either or.
I should not have posted here. Where is the middle ground?
As deluded as my husband chooses to be with his love and total devotion to me, who as he states is the best woman he ever knew or met in his life, at least he is able to see past the narrow box, even if he thinks he can't.
Peace be upon you and even more peace to those who can see past that narrow box.
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glo
01-01-2010, 04:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
Dear Glo,

As I was writing to you, I was thinking the exact thing you stated in your response to me. Thank you for stating the obvious. I do tear myself to shreds in the attempt to find the ultimate truth in all things, and you stated the truth as I, with my philosophy towards God/Allah.
I will trust in the mercy of God in sincerest hopes that He is all I imagine Him to be in my heart.
Thank you, too, for your kind words and understanding of me as the kind of person I truly try to be,
Nicelady
Hi Nicelady

I believe the only way to grow in our faith and to walk with God, is to be honest in who we are and what we can/cannot believe.
Following a faith blindly, for the sake of others rather than God, hinders our spiritual growth, whereas being honest about our beliefs, questions and doubts helps us grow.
Well, I believe so anyway. :)

I am sure God delights in you!
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Asiyah3
01-01-2010, 05:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
Hello Muslim,
How could I have ever been foolish enough to expect some kind of answer that was not either or? I am naive at best to even think a religious person could think outside their narrow box.
Thanks (and I am being totally sarcastic when I use the word "thanks") for your answer which gives more fuel to the impossibility for me to be any religion.
Just as I said, the one God I believe in would never ever judge like this. At least not my idea of God; you can have any vision of God you choose. That is freedom. But do not put me in your tiny box of either or.
I should not have posted here. Where is the middle ground?
As deluded as my husband chooses to be with his love and total devotion to me, who as he states is the best woman he ever knew or met in his life, at least he is able to see past the narrow box, even if he thinks he can't.
Peace be upon you and even more peace to those who can see past that narrow box.
I think you misundrestood me alot - I didn't mean it that way at all and I don't see things "either or" (nor did I certainly meant to put it black-and) as you stated. I am not a scholar nor can I say that I am too knowledgable, so I hope you won't take my words to heart. I hope I didn't push you farther from Islam,

I apologize, I should have putten my words in a better and gentlier tone, but briefly my point was like Gossamer Sky's

Perhaps I should have only stated that I agree with her

May Allah guide you :statisfie and I really hope you will stay here with us :)
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 05:29 PM
Dear Muslim,
Forgive me for my harsh words to you. I am the one who is wrong. I am coming to a forum for Islam. I am wrong to come here and then expect to find some "excuse" for wanting my opinion validated when it cannot be validated according to the teachings or beliefs of Islam. You are correct, according to Islam what I am doing is destroying my husband's chance for Al Janna. I am stupid and foolish to think that there is any way to find a way out of this Islamic fact.
Why discuss something that is impossible for me? I will choose to believe and remember Glo's kind and "out of the box" thinking.
You took me no further from Islam than I was or will ever be. It is not just Islam that turns me off; it is all religions. It is "either or" in all of them. You either believe and accept ALL of it, or you are ****ed to hell's fire forever.
That is unacceptible to me. God, at least my idea of God, is merciful, not petty and proud and arrogant enough to believe all people must fit into religious boxes. And forgive me for calling you or anyone else who does not think like I do as being "petty." I am sure you are a beautiful person with a good heart. You are just part of the indoctrination I abhor.
Thanks so much; I am the fool in speaking my opinion. You, and no one else, need to be inflicted with my thoughts. After all, and this is meant sincerely, who am I? Nothing!!! A few molecules on earth. As my husband tells me, I think I am privy to the mind of God, which is arrogant and selfish of me. So, in the end, I am the guilty one.
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 05:33 PM
Dear Glo,
The beauty and purity of your heart and thoughts are what I will take with me from this forum. Thank you for your ability to see past the edges of that box so many put around themselves. Yes, I got validation from you; perhaps that makes me a fool to come to a forum looking for validation. But, thank God for people like you.
Happiest healthiest, most blessed New Year to a beautiful soul, GLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Muslim Woman
01-01-2010, 05:34 PM
Salaam/Peace

format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
..limiting God to finding those who worship in the exact way you state.
I did not state it , it's the command of our Creator.

Chrisitianity , Islam , Judaism are the main 3 three religions in the world. Also Hinduism . If u read the holy books of these faith , u will find some wonderful similarities - God is one , don't take diety besides God and don't make statue or bow down in front of statues.

God created heavens for believers and the condition is one must not reject God. If one disobeys God , if one takes other dieties besides God , if one rejects Prophets of God , it means s/he is committing blasphemy . God stated that for this major sin - blasphemy , punishment is hellfire.

If one wants to please God , s/he should obey God by submitting himself/herself to God , by rejecting to obey His orders and rebelling against God like Satan/ devil did , how one can except His mercy ? PL. think logically.

May God guides you and us , Ameen.
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 05:55 PM
Hello,
Science and religion cannot be equated as science is bassed of "some" provable facts; religion is based and accepted accoring to faith, not provable fact.
Your choice to the word "right" when referring to Islam is interesting as well. I pity the poor saps who are born into a country or family with some other faith. Poor stupid fools ****ed to hell since they are not following the RIGHT path. Wow!!! the RIGHT path is being born into the right family or the right country. Religion is seldom a choice. It is location and family. It becomes a choice after adulthood, or the age of reason. If that "fool" does not happen to choose Islam, they are NOT right. Thanks for you point of view. It is no more "right," than mine. At least that is my opinion.
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جوري
01-01-2010, 06:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nicelady
Hello Gossamer,

Of course, I thought of this, and did expect that as a response and solution. It is true and matter of fact.

It is generally my belief that it is best to take drastic steps as early as possible as to not cause everyone involved (you especially) undue pain, say if you have children or whatnot!

I don't think anyone on board can offer you better da3wa than your husband. If your heart can't accept it, then you shouldn't force yourself, as there is no compulsion in religion.

In a previous posts of your, you'd stated, how limiting yourself to one religion is judging others or believing that others are going to hell etc.
Well, no one here can guarantee a seat in heaven, we are hopeful of God's mercy... in fact I think the only guarantees so far have been sold by christians who believe that God has already paid for their sins.
we believe that Islam is the religion that always was, whether Jews or christians or sabeans or manadeans the call of any messenger was to call people to God, what people have done of their religions isn't really the fault of the messengers or favoritism on God's part rather the working of their own desires as you too have desires and inclinations. It isn't a matter of judging, it is simply a matter of which route to take to get you to your desired destination.
I'd like to ask the good people to stop swaying your opinion one way or the other, because this obviously concerns only you and your husband and it is something you have to honestly work with yourself and privately!

all the best
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Mr.President
01-01-2010, 06:20 PM
nicelady heres a nice welcome

welcome to IL

and be nice do nice :D

all the best
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 06:25 PM
Thank you for your kindness and wisdom. I will take your advice and keep these thoughts to myself. Happy New Year and Peace!!!!
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nicelady
01-01-2010, 06:28 PM
Dear Gossamer,

That last post was for you. Thank you so much for your kindness to me and wisdom. I will take your wise advice and keep these thoughts to myself. I must be strong and controlled for the sake of my beloved husband.
Do take care and love and peace!
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Rafeeq
01-01-2010, 07:10 PM
Dear Nicelady, Peace to be upon you.

I appreciate you are a nice soul and a concern individual.

In addition to what advised by Gomssamer, I would like to request you that you do pray Allah/God who is One for everybody, whom you believe in, to guide you to right path. In one of the posts above, you said, you are not praying, I will suggest you to pray since, it will turn your heart open to truth and then what ever it says, accept it, as there is nothing to accept by force in Islam.

My (and many other members on the forum) prayers are with you.
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