Gave my wife a divorce

[markislam]

Gave my wife a divorce today islamically :phew

it was hard for me.

i thought about it a lot before i did it.

the problem is she still talks to me like as if nothing happened.

i want to wait 7 months to give a legal divorce she is in school right now so i want to wait till she finishes.

[Italianguy]

Gave my wife a divorce today islamically :phew

it was hard for me.

i thought about it a lot before i did it.

the problem is she still talks to me like as if nothing happened.

i want to wait 7 months to give a legal divorce she is in school right now so i want to wait till she finishes.

She still talks to you like nothing happened.....because "A" she's in denial and "B" she still LOVES YOU!

[zakirs]

:sl:

Bro i am very sad to hear that.But i do know under what circumstances you did that.I am very sorry for what you have lost. But my prayers are with you bro :). May allah grant you and your family support in this tough times :(.

మేమంతా మీతో ఉన్నాం :)

[جوري]

I agree with Bro Zakirs..
I am really sorry Mark, you have had quite a difficult year and I am not sure how much support you are receiving in real life..

just know that with every difficulty comes ease insha'Allah..

I am sure things will work out one way or the other..

keep the faith.. and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers..

:w:

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[Rafeeq]

Dear Mark,

This is a great secrifice you presented before Allah, and He is alone can reward you in very beautiful and admiring way.

My prayers are with you.

[Snowflake]

:sl: I will remember you in my prayers bro. May Allah compensate your loss with a happy and bright future. Ameen.

[glo]

She still talks to you like nothing happened.....because "A" she's in denial and "B" she still LOVES YOU!

And my guess is "C" an islamic divorce has no meaning for her. Once the legal divorce comes through, that may be different ...

Mark, how are you going to come to an agreement about who will raise the children, and how?

Peace be with you and your family.

[markislam]

it is really heart breaking for me to do this, she burst out when i said i divorce her, I cannot see a woman cry, i know she is in a state of denial, she did not eat anything all of yesterday. She was in her room just praying and reading the bible.

I want to take joint custody of my daughter and i want to be in her life very much, i want her to have the love of her dad, and never feel her dad left her and her mom.

But again God comes first then family.

Please keep us in our prayers and especially her as she needs all the prayers.

Islamically we are divorced but legally we are still husband and wife.

I will be there with her and support her in her studies.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Wow this is some heavy stuff...Sorry im new on this forum and don't know you or your situation but i'll keep you in my Dua. I came to learn that Allah swt sets some strange paths for us. Paths we don't understand while we are on them. But at the finishline you look back and all falls into place. And remember Allah swt doesn't give you more then you can handle. You must be a strong brother then! :)

Salaam and may Allah swt help you trough your difficult times. Ameen

[Raaina]

I'll make dua for you all.

May Allah make it easy for you brother during this extremely difficult time.

[nebula]

May Allah make it easy for you bro mark, Aameen!

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

Islamically we are divorced but legally we are still husband and wife.

Can u describe how did u divorce her ? To my knowledge , during her Iddat time ( 3 cycles of period ) , she is still your wife.

Forgive my poor memory , I don't remeber now why u wanted to divorce her ? A Muslim man is allowed to have a Christian wife.

May Allah grant what is good for your hereafter , Ameen.

[Hamayun]

Really sorry to hear about your divorce bro. Seems like she still loves you if she is still talking to you as if nothing happened.

I hope it works out for you Inshallah.

[Asiyah3]

Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return)

“but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).

156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones”

[al-Baqarah 2:155-157]

I will also keep you ,your wife and your daughter in my prayers

May Allah reward you and make it easy for you and guide your wife to the straight path

[cat eyes]

maybe after all of this she will come to know her human god is bringing nothing but bad luck in her life cos shes lost her husband over her belief. mark im feeling u did the right thing and theres nothing much more u could have done cos she'd probably would have tried to drag u down with her and reverts have to be careful. people have gone back to disbelief after these big heavy problems. divorce is not easy..:wa:

[★мαячαн★]

awws, well you must have contemplated about it long and hard, and may allah make this time easy for you both inshallah :)

and yes she is in denial because she can't believe it and loves you still...

[markislam]

yes she is in a state of denial she is so happy today calling me baby i love you etc , as if nothing happened. she is a wonderful woman very hard to find women like that now a days. she says God choose me as her husband.

Well i have 7 months so i will slowly make her know the truth so it will sink in her.

I still respect her and do things for her.

the biggest storm is from my family, when i file for the legal divorce

thanks all for your concern and duas

[roohani.doctor]

i am so sorry to hear about this - may allah grant you patience and happiness. ameen.

[markislam]

it's really hard for me thinking of it, i dont know what the future holds for me or my daughter or my ex wife.

but again time does not wait for any one

we all are visitors in this world, there were so many who were before us who lived on this earth and no long live on this earth now. There is no point fretting or worrying about things which are not in our control.

[Maryan0]

it's really hard for me thinking of it, i dont know what the future holds for me or my daughter or my ex wife.

but again time does not wait for any one

we all are visitors in this world, there were so many who were before us who lived on this earth and no long live on this earth now. There is no point fretting or worrying about things which are not in our control.

You're right and we should all remember that, may Allah make things easier for you bro Markislam.
salam

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum
Oh mark, my heart goes out for you. It's good that you face up to reality, but don't loose hope as well. Be patient and have faith in Allah subhana wa ta'ala; he is the best of planners. Don't forget the best you can do for her is make dua, and set a good example. May Allah guide your wife to the truth; and relieve you both from this stressful and painful situation.

[glo]

yes she is in a state of denial she is so happy today calling me baby i love you etc , as if nothing happened. she is a wonderful woman very hard to find women like that now a days. she says God choose me as her husband.

Mark, I was reading back to some of your earlier posts in August, when you were talking about how difficult the relationship between you and your wife was.

Judging by how you speak about your (ex-)wife now, it sounds to me like your love has grown for each other since then.
Sometimes God works in the most unexpected ways! :)

[Humbler_359]

Mark,

I think you are doing correct things. Always patient and respect woman.

I totally agree with you. May Allah keep you easily and don't make you burden heavily on your shoulder. :statisfie

[KittenLover]

Mark we go through trials in this life and it's hard at times but you have to remember when your feeling sad and disappointed about this life that it was never meant to be perfect cos it's only a test.

If everything was how we wanted it wouldn't be much of a test. the real life of the here after is the life where everything is the way you want it and it's forever, much better than this temporary enjoyment/sadness we find ourselves in at times :)

Just keep giving her dawah and pointing out the facts to her.

[AnonymousPoster]

I'm trying to help him understand that divorce will not make anything better. I want him to stay with the wife, for the daughters sake. It will be veryyyy hard for the daughter to grow up without the mother. So if he would be more open about what the reason is then we can give him better advice and support him further. I would consider it a very selfish act if he did the divorce for himself or for God.

You should follow all of Mark's posts before making your comments or asking other people how old they are?

Obeying God is above all even your parents (should they ask you to do something that disobeys God) it isn't a matter of having spoken to him and certainly not the topic to be discussed for the purpose here. His wife amongst other reasons mocks his new faith and refuses to allow their daughter to be raised as a Muslim. He has in fact been quite patient and allowing with her from serving bacon to putting up a Christmas tree and everything there is in between. If marriage is about compromise, then quite frankly what sacrifices has she made? She isn't willing to accept his faith, that is all fine, but why isn't she allowing him the freedom to practice his faith without reproach and share it with his daughter?

In the end he comes here asking that we make du'a for her, for she needs it more than him, and all many can do as I have seen done, especially by the non-Muslims on board is sympathize with her.

Sometimes when no middle ground is achieved a divorce is the best option obviously he is the best judge of his life and his wife. I don't think anyone here has pushed him to such a decision and certainly divorce is an allowed matter in Islam so folks who are miserable with one another can have another chance to be happy with someone else. All that is of concern here, is his little girl, for I dread to think of how her mother will malign Mark and his new faith to this little girl to get her to accept Christianity, and for that I do hope if she is unyielding that he at least gets full or part custody so his daughter can learn first hand of his views!

[Muhammad]

:sl:

I am sorry to hear about the difficulty you are facing, Mark.

May Allaah (swt) make it easy for you and give you the strength and patience to accept whatever He has decreed for you, Aameen.

[zakirs]

we all are visitors in this world, there were so many who were before us who lived on this earth and no long live on this earth now. There is no point fretting or worrying about things which are not in our control.

:sl:

Mark you are very right. May Allah guide your wife and make it easy on your family :(.
All the best bro. Don't worry about the future i am pretty sure you will get through this.

[markislam]

Thank you all for your concern and duas.

I will be going for a joint custody of my daughter.

I remember one verse from the bible which Jesus said (pbuh)

it says

"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

"If anyone wishes to be a follower of mine, he must leave self behind; day after day he must take up his cross, and come with me." Luke 9.23. Matt. 16.24. Mark 8.34

" As they were going along the road a man said to him, 'I will follow you wherever you go.' Jesus answered, 'Foxes have their holes, the birds their roosts; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.' To another he said, 'Follow me,' but the man replied, 'Let me go and bury my father first.' Jesus said, 'Leave the dead to bury their dead; you must go and announce the kingdom of God.'

"Yet another said, 'I will follow you, sir; but let me first say good-bye to my people at home.' To him Jesus said, 'No one who sets his hand to the plough and then keeps looking back is fit for the kingdom of God.' " Luke 9.57-62

If you want to serve God don't worry about this world and what it has to offer you.

[Danah]

I am sorry to hear about this. May Allah make things easier for you, our duaas and prayers are all go for you.

[glo]

How are things with you and your family, Mark?
We haven't heard from you in a while ...

I hope things are working out for the better for all of you.

['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

Yeah how have things been?

I wanted to write you an email but you hardly get back to me!