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touba
01-03-2010, 08:51 PM
Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA Wabarakatou,

Alhamdolillah at least we have this forum and our muslims brothers and sisters to share our problems ,

I had a terrible new year alhamdollaillah , I cried so much and i dont have anybody to talk about my problems only ALLAH SWT and now i want to share it with you and need your advice please Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

I married with my husband 5 years ago , We are in love so much , But my husband is a bit older than me like a 17 years difference but this is not a problem , I love his age but one thing my husband does not make love with me if we are luckly we do once in 4 5 months because my husband told me that he have a back problem and he cannot do it so i live with it even it is difficult because i love him so much in this new year one problem happen betwen us and here are the problem

My husband work in a factory and he told his manager that i will work as well there but not now until March but i noticed when we are outside if any of my husband work collegue see us he hide himself and i asked him why you hide your self from boys and girls he said because i told them that you are not here with me until march and if they see you now they will know i lie to them and they will tell the manager and i said why you told them lies he said because i want to use it as excuse to take some holliday time telling them that my wife will be coming home from abroad and i will go bring her and like that i will get a holliday but me i didnt believe that and i was frustrate and of course satan whispered to me then i fight with my husband and i gave him a hard time please advice me what to do , am i right to accuse him or my husband was honest ? please any advice i cannot think my brain busy with satan whispers doesnt give me opportunity to think right please please your advice and explanation important to me Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
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touba
01-04-2010, 11:04 AM
Originally Posted by touba
Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA Wabarakatou,

Alhamdolillah at least we have this forum and our muslims brothers and sisters to share our problems ,

I had a terrible new year alhamdollaillah , I cried so much and i dont have anybody to talk about my problems only ALLAH SWT and now i want to share it with you and need your advice please Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

I married with my husband 5 years ago , We are in love so much , But my husband is a bit older than me like a 17 years difference but this is not a problem , I love his age but one thing my husband does not make love with me if we are luckly we do once in 4 5 months because my husband told me that he have a back problem and he cannot do it so i live with it even it is difficult because i love him so much in this new year one problem happen betwen us and here are the problem

My husband work in a factory and he told his manager that i will work as well there but not now until March but i noticed when we are outside if any of my husband work collegue see us he hide himself and i asked him why you hide your self from boys and girls he said because i told them that you are not here with me until march and if they see you now they will know i lie to them and they will tell the manager and i said why you told them lies he said because i want to use it as excuse to take some holliday time telling them that my wife will be coming home from abroad and i will go bring her and like that i will get a holliday but me i didnt believe that and i was frustrate and of course satan whispered to me then i fight with my husband and i gave him a hard time please advice me what to do , am i right to accuse him or my husband was honest ? please any advice i cannot think my brain busy with satan whispers doesnt give me opportunity to think right please please your advice and explanation important to me Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
Any advice please
Reply

zakirs
01-04-2010, 11:10 AM
:sl:

Sister , its ok.Don't worry its a small fight. My parents fight all the time :).Its common. Don't worry in the evening apologize to each other and cook some good meal for him. I am sure he already forgot the issue.Don't stress yourselves too much.

I had a terrible new year alhamdollaillah , I cried so much and i dont have anybody to talk about my problems only ALLAH SWT and now i want to share it with you and need your advice please Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
Sure sister :) we are more than happy to help you.Get to 300 posts and may be you can join Sisters section in the forum and you will have many loads of sisters to talk to :).

May Allah help in your marriage.
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touba
01-04-2010, 11:12 AM
Originally Posted by zakirs
:sl:

Sister , its ok.Don't worry its a small fight. My parents fight all the time :).Its common. Don't worry in the evening apologize to each other and cook some good meal for him. I am sure he already forgot the issue.Don't stress yourselves too much.



Sure sister :) we are more than happy to help you.Get to 300 posts and may be you can join Sisters section in the forum and you will have many loads of sisters to talk to :).

May Allah help in your marriage.
Brother Jazaka Allah SWT kheer
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★мαячαн★
01-04-2010, 11:12 AM
Well to be honest sister, I would just advice you to do ibaddah and pray to your lord, because he's the only one who can help you at this moment. No one or nothing else can make you happy and comfortable again, except from Allah

Praying for you inshallah x
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Muslim Woman
01-04-2010, 11:14 AM
:sl:

sis , sorry to hear about ur problem.

About ur husband's back pain , talk to doctor and keep praying to Allah. Your husband will be ok soon.

About lieing , I don't know why he did that , calmly tell him not to lie unnecessarily like this.

May Allah bless your marriage , Ameen.
Reply

touba
01-04-2010, 12:40 PM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
:sl:

sis , sorry to hear about ur problem.

About ur husband's back pain , talk to doctor and keep praying to Allah. Your husband will be ok soon.

About lieing , I don't know why he did that , calmly tell him not to lie unnecessarily like this.

May Allah bless your marriage , Ameen.
Alaikoum Asslam sister

We visited so many doctors but hes problem has no solution about lieing he lied to his manager and collegue at work because he want to give them excuse that they can give him a holliday thats all but still i dont like it , Thanks for your duaa
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touba
01-04-2010, 12:41 PM
Originally Posted by ★мαячαн★
Well to be honest sister, I would just advice you to do ibaddah and pray to your lord, because he's the only one who can help you at this moment. No one or nothing else can make you happy and comfortable again, except from Allah

Praying for you inshallah x
Jazaka ALLAH SWT kher
Reply

zakirs
01-04-2010, 12:47 PM
Alaikoum Asslam sister

We visited so many doctors but hes problem has no solution about lieing he lied to his manager and collegue at work because he want to give them excuse that they can give him a holliday thats all but still i dont like it , Thanks for your duaa
:sl:

Hope ur husbands pain is relieved soon sister.Pray to Allah to get him better soon :).
Reply

Muslim Woman
01-04-2010, 04:44 PM
:wa:

Originally Posted by touba
Alaikoum Asslam sister

We visited so many doctors but hes problem has no solution
medical science is improving day by day. So , pl. always keep updated about the latest treatment. When was the last time he visited doc ?
Reply

Donia
01-04-2010, 04:53 PM
Originally Posted by touba


My husband work in a factory and he told his manager that i will work as well there but not now until March but i noticed when we are outside if any of my husband work collegue see us he hide himself and i asked him why you hide your self from boys and girls he said because i told them that you are not here with me until march and if they see you now they will know i lie to them and they will tell the manager and i said why you told them lies he said because i want to use it as excuse to take some holliday time telling them that my wife will be coming home from abroad and i will go bring her and like that i will get a holliday but me i didnt believe that and i was frustrate and of course satan whispered to me then i fight with my husband and i gave him a hard time please advice me what to do , am i right to accuse him or my husband was honest ? please any advice i cannot think my brain busy with satan whispers doesnt give me opportunity to think right please please your advice and explanation important to me Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
Wa alaikum asalaam rahmatullahi wa barakatu.

It was wrong for your husband to lie to the manager. Lying is not a good thing but unfortunately people do it. May Allah forgive us.
When you asked your husband why he was acting that way (as far as hiding with you from his co-workers), he told you his reason. My advice is to believe him unless you have proof otherwise. Beware of suspicion and also guard yourself from shaytaan. He is an enemy to us all.
It's possible your husband would like to take some time off work in the future because he's tired, stressed... maybe his back issues? Who knows. Lying is still not good but I don't think he is coming from a bad place (bad intentions).
I hope his back gets better insha'Allah.

And Allah knows best.
Reply

AlHoda
01-04-2010, 08:15 PM
:sl:
I hope also that your husband's pain will be relieved. I'm sure this just a small couple fight. The satan always tries to make the smallest things look big. After a couple of days you will forget about it, insha allah. :)

May Allah bless you with a healthy marriage.
:wa:
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
01-05-2010, 07:03 AM
Originally Posted by touba
Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA Wabarakatou,

Alhamdolillah at least we have this forum and our muslims brothers and sisters to share our problems ,

I had a terrible new year alhamdollaillah , I cried so much and i dont have anybody to talk about my problems only ALLAH SWT and now i want to share it with you and need your advice please Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

I married with my husband 5 years ago , We are in love so much , But my husband is a bit older than me like a 17 years difference but this is not a problem , I love his age but one thing my husband does not make love with me if we are luckly we do once in 4 5 months because my husband told me that he have a back problem and he cannot do it so i live with it even it is difficult because i love him so much in this new year one problem happen betwen us and here are the problem

My husband work in a factory and he told his manager that i will work as well there but not now until March but i noticed when we are outside if any of my husband work collegue see us he hide himself and i asked him why you hide your self from boys and girls he said because i told them that you are not here with me until march and if they see you now they will know i lie to them and they will tell the manager and i said why you told them lies he said because i want to use it as excuse to take some holliday time telling them that my wife will be coming home from abroad and i will go bring her and like that i will get a holliday but me i didnt believe that and i was frustrate and of course satan whispered to me then i fight with my husband and i gave him a hard time please advice me what to do , am i right to accuse him or my husband was honest ? please any advice i cannot think my brain busy with satan whispers doesnt give me opportunity to think right please please your advice and explanation important to me Jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister even though it was wrong for your husband to lie like that but you should never have suspicion of him until you have solid proof and evidance. Shaythan enjoys creating dissension and friction in marriages and he stays with a couple until they break up. So when a suspicion arises just repeat: "Audhu billaahi minashaythaanirajeem".

Also sister open up to your husband and tell him that you should never lie to him again as you are his wife and he should tell you everything regardless of what it is.

You should always make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you and you should also open up to him as much as you an. You should encourage a relationship where you can both share all of your feelings together.

You are each others soul partners so make him realise that he should NEVER hesitate to tell you anything. Keep the communication strong in the marriage because strong communication is crucial for a successful marriage.

Always make sure you pray your Salah at home and that you recite as much Qur'an and dhikrullah as possible so that your home has divine noor and blessings from Allah.

Also do taleem as much as you can in your house. Even if its 5 minutes. It can be on any topic in Islam. Taleem in your home for even 5 minutes will bring countless blessings into your house becauseangels enjoy coming and listening to taleem in the house. All of this will help you greatly in your marriage inshallah.

Also sister may Allah reward you abundantly for your Sabr(Patience) for understanding your husbands back problem. May Allah give him shifa and remember that Allah tests those who he wants good for and he tests those he wants closest to him. Allah Azzawajal is with those who are patient and the reward of patience is Jannah!
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Rafeeq
01-05-2010, 07:16 AM
Salam U Elikum

Consult a good doctor for his back pain. He will be OK soon insha Allah.

That fight is nothing, do not worry, and he should not lie to his manager or his collegues.

Calm down now and arrange an agreement that you both will not lie in future. Try to trust and respect each other, this is the key of happy life.
Reply

touba
01-05-2010, 12:48 PM
Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH TAALA Wabarakatou,

Brothers and sisters jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher for your advice and concerns , Doctors said that there is no solution for his back and even if he had a surgery it will not success May ALLAH SWT grant him shifa and grant me patient as well AMEEN your duaa is very important to us
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