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Lonely Gal
01-05-2010, 01:26 PM
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-05-2010, 02:13 PM
stop them from doing whatevers making you jelous :p



or on a more serious note...


you can simply try achieve greater things in life and be content wiv knowing theres always al akhirah :)
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zakirs
01-05-2010, 02:21 PM
Rule 1: Never compare your life with others.Both of you are diff entities and shouldnot be compared. Ex: he has rich parents and i am very poor

Rule 2: Analyze why you are behind rather being jealous. Ex: he got better marks than me ( rather you shud have studied)

Rule 3: Pray to allah to help you over come this..


Note: I am also like you and have slight problem with jealousy.Hope we get over this inshaallah.

Allah says: "Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties… Do they deny the favors of Allah?" [Soorah an-Nahl (16): 71] And: "Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?" [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 54]
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Envy is allowed in two cases, in case of a man whom Allah has given the Qur'aan and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away throughout night and day." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] and he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also explained what may be said: "I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did."

Firstly, the believer should have sincerity in repenting from Hasad as Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Three things that every heart of a believer should not hate to have is sincerity in actions, rendering advise to leaders and holding to Jama'ah (community) of the Muslims, for their supplication surrounds everyone with them." [Ahmad and Ibn Majah]

Supplicate to Allah to purify your heart. Allah said in the Qur'aan: "And those who came after them say: 'Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful." [Soorah al-Hashr (59): 10]
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noorseeker
01-05-2010, 02:28 PM
We all get jealous from time to time,

You just have to be content with what you have, and realise you have more than others.

Im working on it myself, If you notice people who are successful are the ones who dont look what others have got, they concentrate on their selves.

Be that be someone who is chasing the dunya or the akhira
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Innocent Soul
01-05-2010, 02:36 PM
Assalamualaikum
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

What type of jealousy?
Jealousy in Wealth
Jealousy in Marks
Jealouse of their life
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CosmicPathos
01-05-2010, 02:37 PM
If you are getting jealous cuz of "injustices" being done to you. Like not getting into a school of your choice despite having amazing marks while others with lower marks got in ... it can only be removed by hoping for a perfect Justice on Qiyama. Allah (swt) will bring those authorities to justice on qiyamah.
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Alpha Dude
01-05-2010, 02:51 PM
Feelings such as this come about due to weak realisation of Allah or you have this realisation but your nafs and the shaytan have clouded your spiritual vision so that you are not able to see this world for the test that it is. If you could see with your eyes that Allah was real and his heaven and hell was real, there is no chance you would ever feel even a hint of jealousy. In fact, you'd go out of your way to avoid wanting anything from this dunya and look to the akirah instead. I know of several men who had this realisation. One special person who did was the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihe Wasalam. You'll see he didn't care even an iota for this dunya. His concern was always with the spiritual well-being of all muslims. He lived in a state of abstinence. Constantly fasting. Sleeping on the floor etc. All these actions could not have come about unless the world meant nothing to him. Why did the world mean nothing, then? Cos he had absolute realisation that there is nothing of real benefit in this world. He had absolute realisation that Allah is real.

Strive to strenghten your connection with Allah and lose your love for this dunya. Everything happens for a reason and Allah is Most wise. This world is only a temporary abode and there is nothing of value here to be jealous about.
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ardianto
01-05-2010, 04:48 PM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this
Remind me to proverb "Neighbor's grass is always look greener"

You always thinking your neighbor's grass is greener than yours. But you never realize, actually your neighbor is always thinking if your grass is greener.
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Supreme
01-05-2010, 04:59 PM
I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.
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ardianto
01-05-2010, 05:20 PM
Originally Posted by Supreme
I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.
Caucasians are taller than Mongoloid like me.
I am 5'7, and in my place many people are shorter than me.
I also have few non-mongoloid friends who more than 6' height. However, they are not Caucasians but Arabs.
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glo
01-05-2010, 05:23 PM
Originally Posted by Supreme
I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.
At least you are not praying to God to make your friends shrink! :D

Lonely Gal, you've had some great advice in this thread.
I think as we get older and mature and become more confident in who we are, jealousy often lessens.
Chances are, you have many wonderful qualities and you have no need to be jealous!
Chances are those very people you are jealous of, have their own reasons for being jealous of you. :)
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جوري
01-05-2010, 05:26 PM
During one of our rotations me and my friend were commenting about this resident who appeared to be perfect in every way, the girl who had it all, we eventually became friends with her and found out, that she has kidney disease in her family.. that her father had died of it, and that she had donated a kidney to her brother but that he had died 5 years post transplant which put a strain on her relationship with her husband who separated from her .. she appeared so happy and beautiful but the fact is she was in a heap of debt and had a miserable life...

Sometimes what your mind conceives to be true superficially is far from the truth.. everyone has some sort of private hell which they don't like to share (unless chronic complainers)) and thinks everyone else is better off!

It is best to focus on how you can be the best you, you can be, than what you perceive others to have which you feel you as well should be entitled to.. Allah swt doesn't give us more than our soul can bear..

Patience over ill is also a part of strong faith..

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-05-2010, 05:33 PM
Originally Posted by Supreme
I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.
hi
im 5'5

:D
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Hamza Asadullah
01-05-2010, 06:31 PM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Rasuallah (Pbuh) advice was to always think of those who are less fortunate than you. Put yourself in their position and you will realise how lucky you really are.

Imagine if you were born in poverty?
Imagine if you were born with a debilitating and disfiguring disease?
Imagine if you were born in a war torn country?
Imagine if you were born with there is massacre and oppression of the people?
Imagine if you were born a non believer?
Imagine if you were born with no parents and was adopted?

You are much luckier than most people in this world. Just look at what they have in comparison with what you have.

Don't be fooled into thinking that those who have better looks or have more materialistic wealth are happy because When we look at people around us we don't know what they are going through in their life. They could be going through the worst experiences that we can never imagine. This is what shaythan wants you to think. He is decieving you.

Wealth and beauty to not bring happiness. Contentment, happiness, peace and tranquility are ONLY found with the remembrace of Allah!

So we should thank Allah constantly for what he has given us.Out of all the people in this world look at what he has given us? Do we go days without eating? Do we struggle to find clean and drinkable water? Do we have families around us? Do we have shelter to live in? Are you disabled or have a terrible disease? Why do we not thank Allah that he has created us without all of these terrible things in our lives?

The best thing of all is that we have been given imaan(faith) and that is something so unique and amazing more than we can ever imagine.

Not everyone has been given imaan and not all those who are given imaan die with imaan so it is crucial that we obey the commandments of Allah and remember him as much as we cna so that we can be successful in this world and the next.

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

Always thank Allah for EVERYTHING

A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, I asked, “Messenger of Allah, why do you exert yourself so much while all your sins have been forgiven?” To this he replied, “`A’ishah, should I not be a grateful servant of Allah?” (Muslim).

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah is pleased with His slave who says: `Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah)’ when he takes a morsel of food and drinks a draught of water.” (Muslim)

Allah will increase us the more thankful we are to him

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]

Dua to make in every dua to become of the appreciative

Allahumma a-inni ala Zikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatik

(O Allah! Help me to remember you, to thank you, and to worship you in the best of manners)

Thanking people

The Prophet (Peace be upon him)said, Whoever has a favour done for him and says ‘Jazaak Allahu khayran‘ has done his utmost to thank him. (At-Tirmithi)
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Supreme
01-05-2010, 07:23 PM
Originally Posted by glo
At least you are not praying to God to make your friends shrink! :D


To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D


hi
im 5'5
That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.

Caucasians are taller than Mongoloid like me.
I am 5'7, and in my place many people are shorter than me.
I also have few non-mongoloid friends who more than 6' height. However, they are not Caucasians but Arabs.
Oh yes, in Indonesia the average height is 5'5 for men so I'd be rather tall! I also have friends over 6', many of them in fact.
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Cabdullahi
01-05-2010, 07:35 PM
Originally Posted by Supreme
To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D




That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.


This is changing in many Muslim countries because they're accepting the western lifestyle more and more and the satellite channels beamed to them are American ones.....so now vanity is pretty much alive
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 01:12 AM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this
:sl:

it depends what your jealous of? every type of jealousy is a sin

but there is one type of jealousy that is a lot of danger to muslims and that is being jealous of the disbelievers.

the problem with jealousy is that it makes us want to strive harder to be like that person we are jealous of and can sometimes have serious consequences
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CosmicPathos
01-06-2010, 01:31 AM
Originally Posted by Supreme
To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D




That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.



Oh yes, in Indonesia the average height is 5'5 for men so I'd be rather tall! I also have friends over 6', many of them in fact.

Ooh trust me, you are wrong. Allhamdulillah, all of us brothers in family are above 6 feet tall and thats very rare among Pakistanis :p. The youngest is the tallest at about 6'5''? I am the eldest and stuck at 6'1''.

As I grew up, we have always been a "target" of criticism by "cultural" Pakistani Muslims who were religious too though. Well they seemed to praise us as we were growing up but I did always feel that there was some jealousy/envy as their children were not that tall ... Allah knows their intentions ... but I was always scared of getting evil eye from people. Like my dad would share our good performance at school with others and I would tell my dad to not do it as I always felt that I'll get the evil eye from Muslims around me .... and sometimes I did ....

Even these days I get comments from people who know us that "how taller will he get?!!"

So yea, its not all green here. But religious Muslims have never cared about such matters and in that sense you are right, Islam does not care about this.
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Ummu Sufyaan
01-06-2010, 01:47 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this
jealously is a disease. how would you like it if you were in the shoes of one who was always receiving those bad vibes from people? would you like this to happen to you?

so what if people have what you dont? whats going to happen? all you are going to do is :'( about it but so what, has that gotten you what you want? seriously, what can you do about what others have that you want? cant you look at what you have that people dont have? why waste your time crying over something that isnt in your control to begin with? why dont you focus on more appropriate things instead of looking at what people have, you'll feel more at ease. increase your iman so that you have better things to worry about and that you look at things in perspective.

sorry, i dont mean to be harsh but really jealously is a disease :)
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Lonely Gal
01-06-2010, 12:07 PM
jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 12:21 PM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel
Oh I hear ya, sista!

But I don't let it get to me so much. Honestly, I'm always the target - people tend to be jelaous of me and I have no idea why! I don't think I'm the greatest person ever on earth (I know I am not!) so it puzzles me but when you think about it , meh - that's their problem, not mine. I've never quite been jealous of others but like you, I do wonder sometimes how is it possible for those Muslims who do not live it the Islamic ways can have more than others ... I stopped wondering when I see that it doesn't get me anywhere and well, Allah knows best. Perhaps, they won't be that happy when after life comes.
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 04:18 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
Oh I hear ya, sista!

But I don't let it get to me so much. Honestly, I'm always the target - people tend to be jelaous of me and I have no idea why! I don't think I'm the greatest person ever on earth (I know I am not!) so it puzzles me but when you think about it , meh - that's their problem, not mine. I've never quite been jealous of others but like you, I do wonder sometimes how is it possible for those Muslims who do not live it the Islamic ways can have more than others ... I stopped wondering when I see that it doesn't get me anywhere and well, Allah knows best. Perhaps, they won't be that happy when after life comes.
how do u know people are jealous of u? They tell u?
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
how do u know people are jealous of u? They tell u?
Some do tell me straight to my face and there's this thing called body language.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-06-2010, 04:54 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
Some do tell me straight to my face and there's this thing called body language.
for real?


ive been told to my face before but i took it as a joke and laughed it off..
.

as for body language...? seriously? theres body language for jelousy? :|
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 04:58 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
for real?


ive been told to my face before but i took it as a joke and laughed it off..
.

as for body language...? seriously? theres body language for jelousy? :|
Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-06-2010, 05:01 PM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel
My sister Jannah is surrounded by hardships and Jahannam is surrounded by ease and desires. When a person has hardships in life then that is a good sign that Allah wants good for that person. You think we will not be tested with hardships in our life? You think we can attain eternity of bliss by having an easy life? Don't let shaythan fool you into thinking that people who look happy in their exterior are happy inside their hearts. Can you see into their hearts to know if they are truly happy?

My cousin was a millionnaire and had a wonderful wife too and i truly thought he was so lucky and happy for all those years because everytime i saw him he looked happy and contentment. But little did i know he and his wife had a very difficult marriage and they eventually divorced and he has now left the country. That is when my perception of what makes one happy changed. Don't be decieved by what people show in their exteriour because the interiour will always tell a different story.

Don't let shaythan affect your progress in this life. On the day of judgement you will regret the time you wasted envying those who don't deserve envy. Make the best of your time whilst you have it, for death is awaiting you and can strike by Allah's will at any moment. So make the best use of now for there may never be a tomorrow!

Consider the following:

Desires and Calamities

A Sahih hadith reported by At-Tirmidhi narrates on the authority of Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said: "When Allah created Paradise, He sent Jibreel to it and said, 'Look at it and the pleasures I have prepared for its inhabitants.' So Jibreel came to Paradise and looked at what Allah had prepared for its inhabitants. He then returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will enter it (i.e he will do anything to enter it).' Then Allah ordered Paradise to be surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things and He said to Jibreel, 'Go back and look at it and what I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel went back to Paradise and found that it had been surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things, so he returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that I fear that no one will enter it (i.e he will do anything to avoid it).'

Then Allah said to Jibreel, 'Go to Hell and look at it and the punishments that I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel looked at Hell and found it extremely horrible, so he said to Allah, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will avoid entering it.' Then Allah ordered Hell to be surrounded by desires and luxuries and said to Jibreel, 'Go back to it.' Jibreel returned to Hell and then said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that no one will be able to escape from it.'"

An indicator of whether your life is leading you towards Paradise or Hell is to consider the circumstances of your life. If you are worshipping Allah and your life is full of hardships and detestable things, then this is a positive sign. What are the things that a person detests in life? Fear, hunger, poverty, thirst, lack of security, lack of shelter, imprisonment, bereavement, being estranged from loved ones, loneliness, uncertainty, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Paradise is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate whether or not a believer is on the path to Paradise.

Then consider, what are the things that a person desires or loves in life? Wealth, children, spacious dwelling, safety, security, plentiful food and drink, expensive clothing, being with loved ones, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Hell is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate to a believer whether or not he is going towards his eternal destruction.

For this reason, many of the wealthy Sahabah used to weep uncontrollably whilst repeating the verse in Surah Al-Ahqaf (46:20): "And the Day, those who disbelieved are exposed to the Fire, it will be said, 'You exhausted your pleasures during your worldly life and enjoyed them, so this Day you will be awarded the punishment of extreme humiliation because you were arrogant upon the earth without right and because you were defiantly disobedient.'" Umar bin Al-Khattab, Abdur-Rahman bin Awf and others, may Allah be pleased with them all, would frequently mention this verse, when they even experienced pleasures as small as a wholesome meal.

Following your desires leads to the Hell Fire. That is why many of the Pious Predecessors used to say, "If you want to obey Allah, disobey your nafs (soul, desires, etc)." Likewise, it is reported in a poem from Imam Ash-Shafi (Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak is also said to have mentioned it): "The best thing for your nafs (soul) is to disobey it." Therefore, if you want to obey Allah, consult your heart and do the opposite of what your soul orders you to do. If your soul orders you to sleep instead of praying, get up and pray. If your soul orders you to only spend out of your unwanted possessions, then spend out of the things you love most, for Allah says in Surah Ale-Imran (3:92): "Never shall you attain true piety unless you spend from that which you love." If your soul orders you to pray at home, go and pray in the masjid. If your soul orders you to relax at home instead of visiting your sick, fellow Muslim, get up and go visit your sick, fellow Muslim for you will find Allah with him.

Therefore, consider your life and be your own judge. If Allah is pouring upon you luxury upon luxury, wealth upon wealth, comfort upon comfort, then that is a sign that something is wrong and it is something to worry about. Moreover, if this is happening whilst you are disobedient to Allah or neglectful of His Commands, then it is a sign of your imminent destruction. Luxuries and comforts make a person forget Allah and become heedless in their duties.

On the other hand, if you are trying your best to worship Allah and be mindful of His Commands, and yet your life is fraught with adversities, hardships and detestable things, then rejoice for this is a good indication that you are on the path to Paradise. Adversities and hardships make a believer remember Allah more and turn to Him with sincerity. A well-known saying says: "Hardship is as beneficial to the soul as it is unwelcome in life. And comfort is as harmful to the soul as it is welcome in life."

So O prisoner in the Path of Allah, do not be sad when you are given miserable food, when you are given ragged clothes, when you are estranged from your family and loved ones and when you see others surpass you in wealth and children. Rather, rejoice and be happy as these are all signs that you are on the path towards Paradise, which is surrounded by so many detestable things that even the Angel Jibreel feared no one would be able to enter it because of these adversities.

The 13th Century scholar Al-Izz bin Abdus-Salam said, "The state of tribulation and affliction drives man closer to Almighty Allah, whereas the state of health and blessing drives him away from Allah, as He says in the Quran, 'And when harm touches man, he invokes Us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when We have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as if he has never invoked Us for a harm that touched him!...' (Quran 10:12)"

Hasan Al-Basri said, "Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin."

Finally, Ali bin Abi Talib is reported to have said, may Allah be pleased with him, "O son of Adam, do not be happy with richness and do not despair of poverty. Do not feel sad during affliction and do not rejoice over prosperity, for just as gold is tried by fire, the pious are tried by affliction. You will not attain what you want except by giving up what you desire, and you will not attain what you aspire to except by enduring patiently what you hate, and exerting yourself in implementing that which has been made compulsory upon you (by Allah)."

Source: http://www.lutonmuslims.co.uk/desirescalamities.htm[/QUOTE]
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 05:19 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.
thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:
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Cabdullahi
01-06-2010, 05:22 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.
Im jealous i wish i could analyze public behavior like that
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Allaah Knows
01-06-2010, 05:44 PM
Salaam,

My sister, some excellent advice given here. All I'll say is whenever you see your sister or brother in Islaam with a good trait then make du`aa for them that Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta`aalaa) increases them in this characteristic so that they may use it for his sake. Sis, smile and be happy for them, as you would if it was you. Don't dwell on not having the same traits. Make sincere du`aa for them.

Now, if you want to be jealous ukht, let's be jealous of those who stay up most of the night worshiping and begging forgiveness from Allaah (ta`aalaa) and those whose `ibaadah is beautiful, whose akhlaaq are beautiful, who are getting together their provisions for the aakhirah. Let's be jealous that they are closer to Allaah [ta`aalaa] than us and then let's strive to be like them inshaAllaah.

:) smile ukht
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 05:51 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:
Extreme to you, does not mean extreme to everyone else. It's a simple thing, really. I'm sorry but I do not see myself as a close-minded person. I like to observe and from what I have learned in Psychology, it holds true.
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Cabdullahi
01-06-2010, 05:52 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:
she's just jealous !!
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 05:53 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
Im jealous i wish i could analyze public behavior like that
Lol. Not sure if you're being sarcastic but it's nothing to be jealous of.

I've always liked analysing and observing human behaviours.
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 05:56 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
Extreme to you, does not mean extreme to everyone else. It's a simple thing, really. I'm sorry but I do not see myself as a close-minded person. I like to observe and from what I have learned in Psychology, it holds true.
i call it ignorance and i think u should really take a look at your own behaviour before anyone else. its really disgusting.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-06-2010, 06:04 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
i call it ignorance and i think u should really take a look at your own behaviour before anyone else. its really disgusting.
it is disgusting to jump to conclusions i agree


but we shouldnt judge the sister either :)
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:04 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
i call it ignorance and i think u should really take a look at your own behaviour before anyone else. its really disgusting.
Thank you for your feedback. Much appreciated :)
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
it is disgusting to jump to conclusions i agree


but we shouldnt judge the sister either :)
When someone comes to me and says she is jelaous of me AFTER I have concluded, how is that jumping to conclusions?
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-06-2010, 06:08 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
When someone comes to me and says she is jelaous of me AFTER I have concluded, how is that jumping to conclusions?
when i said "jumping to conclusions", i wasnt talking about you


although you did just jump to one i guess lol
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:10 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
when i said "jumping to conclusions", i wasnt talking about you


although you did just jump to one i guess lol
You quoted me so I assumed you were imsad
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:10 PM
Woops, I read it wrongly! You didn't quote me, Ibn! My apologies!
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Hamza Asadullah
01-06-2010, 06:15 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
When someone comes to me and says she is jelaous of me AFTER I have concluded, how is that jumping to conclusions?
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, there is no need to take this off topic. We are supposed to be giving advice to the sister so why divert this thread and talk about how people are jealous of you? How is that going to help anyone?

You should think before you write and think to yourself that- Is what im going to write going to benefit anyone?

That which is going to be of no benefit and possibly cause more harm than good should be disregarded. We should constantly check our intentions of why we are here. So Please sister next time just think before you post. Jazakallahu khayran.
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 06:18 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
it is disgusting to jump to conclusions i agree


but we shouldnt judge the sister either :)
its not called judging its called warning for the sake of a more peaceful ummah with no backbiting or suspicion. suspicion is the very route cause of most of the evil that happens and we don't want to be eating the dead meat of our brothers and sisters do we so we should control our thoughts and think up a million good excuses for why our sisters and brothers are looking at us in a funny way.
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:19 PM
I didn't know sharing an experience is wrong on this website.

I think I'll leave it be.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-06-2010, 06:21 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
its not called judging its called warning for the sake of a more peaceful ummah with no backbiting or suspicion. suspicion is the very route cause of most of the evil that happens and we don't want to be eating the dead meat of our brothers and sisters do we so we should control our thoughts and think up a million good excuses for why our sisters and brothers are looking at us in a funny way.
your right


its good to warn with hikmah in a way which doesnt cause offence or embarassment
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Hamza Asadullah
01-06-2010, 06:26 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
I didn't know sharing an experience is wrong on this website.

I think I'll leave it be.
Sister we should always try our best to use wisdom and tact whenever were posting especially when a person is asking for advice. Where is the wisdom in posting that 'girls are jealous of me' when the original poster needs advice on how to tackle the very problem of jealousy? You did'nt provide any advice but you came across like you boasted.

I hope i did'nt want to offend you in anyway sister but it needed to be said so that you can make the necessary changes to your approach. Otherwise your posts will do more harm than good and you may even hurt peoples feelings in the process.

We hope that you can be an active and beneficial member of the forum. Our intentions for being on here should be to please Allah so let us think before we write. Only giving advice because i care otherswise i would'nt have bothered. Jazakallahu Khayran.
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SweetCherryPie
01-06-2010, 06:29 PM
Originally Posted by Hamza81
Sister we should always try our best to use wisdom and tact whenever were posting especially when a person is asking for advice. Where is the wisdom in posting that 'girls are jealous of me' when the original poster needs advice on how to tackle the very problem of jealousy? You did'nt provide any advice but you came across like you boasted.
If you read properly, I did give advice. Maybe not up to your standards.

Again, my apologies if everyone is offended. I do not like to boast, it was never my intentions and honestly, I think some other people's responds are far more offensive than mine but I don't see anyone saying anything about it.

Says a lot about how some treat newbies.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-06-2010, 06:34 PM
Originally Posted by SweetCherryPie
If you read properly, I did give advice. Maybe not up to your standards.

Again, my apologies if everyone is offended. I do not like to boast, it was never my intentions and honestly, I think some other people's responds are far more offensive than mine but I don't see anyone saying anything about it.

Says a lot about how some treat newbies.
Sister you should'nt assume. Many of us have had other brothers and sisters in here giving us advice in how we can improve our approach or if our approach was not right at any particular point.

There is nothing wrong with a brother or sister out of good intention giving us advice on how we can improve our approach towards others. Otherwise how would we learn in order to better ourselves? I hope you do not take anything said in the wrong way and accept it as honest advice.
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maisha
01-06-2010, 06:59 PM
i think you should think about what you have and not compare your life to theirs this works for me most of the time! :)
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Hayaa
01-06-2010, 07:18 PM
This quote fits in nicely.

Contentment makes a poor man rich. Discontentment makes a rich man poor
B. Franklin
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Hamza Asadullah
01-06-2010, 07:32 PM
Originally Posted by Lonely Gal
jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel
Allah, Glory be to Him, says in the Quran: "Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, 'We believe,' and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false" (Quran, 29: 2-3).

He also says: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: ‘Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 155]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said, when he was asked which people suffer the most. He said, “The Prophets, then righteous people, then the next best and the next best. A man will suffer according to his level of faith. If his faith is solid, he will suffer more, but if his faith is shaky, he will suffer less. The believer will keep on suffering until he walks on the earth with no sin.” (reported by al-Tirmidhi and others).

The Prophet (peace be upon him)said: "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is but the prick of a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on account of it and his sins falling away from him like leaves off a tree.'" [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]


The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Therefore if a person experiences hardship, calamities,trials and is tested by Allah then that is a sign that Almighty Allah is wanting good for that person and wants them closer to him!

So never think "Why" am i experiencing this trial or hardship. Without trials and hardships how will we get closer to Allah?

Surely Allah is with those who are patient and the reward for patience is Jannah!
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Allaah Knows
01-06-2010, 07:36 PM
Alright ease up people, inshaAllaah.

It's easy to take things the wrong way on a forum.

It doesn't seem like anyone was intending to be boastful and Allaah Knows best.

Sometimes it is better to give naseeha in private where possible, as that way you're not embarrassing anyone inshaAllaah.
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PersiaBeFree
01-07-2010, 05:09 AM
Cultivate a skill--something where you seem to have a natural ability (but no romantic self-deception allowed as to what it is), or at least no evidence of a particular disability.

You will become truly excellent at it over a period of years, and all jealousy will melt away.
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Banu_Hashim
01-09-2010, 03:41 PM
Originally Posted by Hayaa
This quote fits in nicely.

Contentment makes a poor man rich. Discontentment makes a rich man poor
B. Franklin
And this hadith fits in nicely with that quote:


The Prophet said: 'Wealth does not come from having great riches; (true) wealth is contentment of the soul.' (Bukhari, Muslim)
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