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Supreme
01-05-2010, 10:34 PM
Hi guys

I'm having problems with my height. I'm 18 and 5'7, hopefully I'll grow a couple of more inches this year but I'm struggling with my height psychologically. It's destryong me inside out, psychologically it's killing me, I'm fighting it with my all but every waking thought I have is about my height and I know it's silly but I can't help it one bit. Any advice?
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Ummu Sufyaan
01-06-2010, 08:56 AM
the way i look at it is it is dependent on who we are around and the type of society we live in. what i mean is that if we are around people who have the same characteristics/traits as us, then we would feel good about ourselves. in other words, its just that we dont conform to the "norm" (i.e we are the "odd" ones out) that is making us feel uncomfortable.

i also have a little problem in that i dont fit in with most people but i find comfort in knowing that if i was somewhere were the majority of people where like me, then i would feel comfortable and not looked down at. and likewise, people who dont have this particular trait, would feel uncomfortable in an environment where their little traits, etc where against the "norm."

another thing is you need to change you way of thinking. you cant control your height, so you have to work on accepting yourself the way you are. what are going to do about it? how are you going to change something that isnt in your control? you need to (i know this sounds super girly :hmm:) love yourself and appreciate yourself. just accept who you are. what are you going to lose? you need to put things in perspective as well i mean contemplate in what other ways you have you been blessed it would out weigh this "issue" that you have with your height.

you seem to have self-esteem issues aswell. do you get picked on becuase of it? i know you didn't mention, but im going to advise anyway dont worry about peoples nasty remarks becuase what can i do about other peoples stupidity? if they are so shallow as to judge on what appears to them, then why should that bother you and how is it your problem?
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Snowflake
01-06-2010, 09:10 AM
Tom Cruise is 5'6.

Al Pacino 5'6.

Emilio Estevez 5'7.


My own brother is 5'8 and is just as attractive to the opposite gender than any celebrity, if not more - without even being on TV!

It's not height alone that has any significance. It's the whole package. Confidence and friendliness are key. My brother can go up to the Queen and start talking to her as if he's known her all his life. And I bet he'd be invited for tea at Buckingham Palace. :P His confidence is magnetic and people adore him. (MashaAllah)


I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Worrying about it only makes you feel more introverted and so you 'disappear' altogether. Love yourself and believe in yourself and others will do the same. A tall man isn't necessarily a happy man.


P.S. If you're puny, then do some body building. Being skinny is less attractive than being short. No offence to skinny people out there.
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tango92
01-06-2010, 09:29 AM
dude how tall are your parents? and did you start weightlifting at a young age?
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zakirs
01-06-2010, 09:59 AM
Hello bro

Brother, never worry about what you have.. i know its easier said than done but think about the people whom we term "freaks" the midgets, people with weird body. How would they feel. Aren't we lucky in the sense that God gave us a good body and kept us healthy ?

And don't worry about height a man with good character with 5'7 height is always than a man with a bad character and 6'2 height.

Be nice to others , thats all that ,matters
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Rafeeq
01-06-2010, 10:35 AM
I am 5'8" and quite well. dont worry dude.
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S_87
01-06-2010, 01:46 PM
whats wrong with being 18 and 5'7? :-\
(i genuinely dont know what the issue is)
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Snowflake
01-06-2010, 05:59 PM
If it really bothers you, males can continue growing up to the age of 21-23 max. Drink skimmed milk and do some hanging exercises if you feel you really want to be taller.
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Cabdullahi
01-06-2010, 06:04 PM
i'll share my secret you have to have chapati made out of wholemeal flour and drink a glass of milk before bed everyday milk! you might hit 5 ft 9 inshallah!

hang in there bro!
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Snowflake
01-06-2010, 06:17 PM
Is height really a big issue with blokes?

It isn't for women, and being tall doesn't guarantee you'll find good woman or be any happier than if you're shorter.
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Cabdullahi
01-06-2010, 06:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Is height really a big issue with blokes?

It isn't for women, and being tall doesn't guarantee you'll find good woman or be any happier than if you're shorter.
it is if you are 17 - 25.....some girls like celebrities and they tend to be tall and handsome most of them anyway and now the girl will try and look for the best match that resembles her icon and if you're short you haven't got a cat in hells chance.


but thats the western way of things which is slowly creeping up into some muslims
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 06:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
it is if you are 17 - 25.....some girls like celebrities and they tend to be tall and handsome most of them anyway and now the girl will try and look for the best match that resembles her icon and if you're short you haven't got a cat in hells chance.


but thats the western way of things which is slowly creeping up into some muslims
thats not true recently i seen a very famous actor the other day going shopping with his bodyguard when i saw him i didnt care to be honest with u sure when they are on t.v they wear make up anyway and doll themselves up like girls. my brother is 5,8 and it dose bother him to. its weird to cos my grandad was 6,2 and my mums dad was 5,11 ud think we would follow after our grandparents :hmm:
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Cabdullahi
01-06-2010, 06:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
thats not true recently i seen a very famous actor the other day going shopping with his bodyguard when i saw him i didnt care to be honest with u sure when they are on t.v they wear make up anyway and doll themselves up like girls. my brother is 5,8 and it dose bother him to. its weird to cos my grandad was 6,2 and my mums dad was 5,11 ud think we would follow after our grandparents :hmm:
You'll also find girls who dislike tall men everybody is different i guess but when i was in school if you were short you were considered cute and cuddly,but if you had some height and you were lean then it was more than that
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Banu_Hashim
01-06-2010, 06:46 PM
A friend of mine once told me eating bananas is the key :nervous:.
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maisha
01-06-2010, 06:49 PM
my mum tells me 2 eat this saggoor or i think thats wat its called but i dont get why u feel ashamed about your height :)
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aadil77
01-06-2010, 06:51 PM
5'7 is alright, just work on your body and you'll have more confidence in yourself, I've seen 5'5 midgets that are strongly built and they have more presence than 6ft tall slim guys
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maisha
01-06-2010, 06:52 PM
and apparently boyz grow wen they are older! :)
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cat eyes
01-06-2010, 06:54 PM
yeah i do know girls who actually dont like tall men. there was a tall guy who went to my school and he was very tall and everyone use to bully him awwwwwww lol i think it was because the other boys were jealous but as you get older women actually can't get enough of tall men. i suppose they want to be protected but pakistani people have a good height what ever they eat lol
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-Elle-
01-06-2010, 06:57 PM
Tom Cruise is 5'6.

Al Pacino 5'6.

Emilio Estevez 5'7.


My own brother is 5'8 and is just as attractive to the opposite gender than any celebrity, if not more - without even being on TV!

It's not height alone that has any significance. It's the whole package. Confidence and friendliness are key. My brother can go up to the Queen and start talking to her as if he's known her all his life. And I bet he'd be invited for tea at Buckingham Palace. :P His confidence is magnetic and people adore him. (MashaAllah)


I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Worrying about it only makes you feel more introverted and so you 'disappear' altogether. Love yourself and believe in yourself and others will do the same. A tall man isn't necessarily a happy man.


P.S. If you're puny, then do some body building. Being skinny is less attractive than being short. No offence to skinny people out there.
I think this is the best and most truthful advice given out so far. When people say personality matters, its not just a "saying",or something that should make you feel better,its really true.

Specially for us muslims. I don't about any other girls here, but I'll talk about me specifically,

height is absolutly nothing compared to your character traits. I'd take a 5'-6" guy with a solid Iman and a great personality over someone who is 6' and who's only so-so here and there, anytime!

And to be honest I see men (work,school,family,etc) who are 5'-7" to 5'-9" and they have absolutly no problem with their height. It's not really noticeable, and most girls are averagely 5'-4 or 5'-5, (women around me,anyway, even shorter), so I don't think 5'-7 is a problem at all for them.


format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
it is if you are 17 - 25.....some girls like celebrities and they tend to be tall and handsome most of them anyway and now the girl will try and look for the best match that resembles her icon and if you're short you haven't got a cat in hells chance.


but thats the western way of things which is slowly creeping up into some muslims
Eh, some girls like tall men because they like tall men. Has nothing to do with celebrities, it's just what you find attractive, which anyway shouldn't be that relevant to muslims.

And I'm sure to most women, even if they like tall men, won't even put that on their lists when searching for a spouse, since it's a superficial physical feature.
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Snowflake
01-06-2010, 07:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
it is if you are 17 - 25.....some girls like celebrities and they tend to be tall and handsome most of them anyway and now the girl will try and look for the best match that resembles her icon and if you're short you haven't got a cat in hells chance.

but thats the western way of things which is slowly creeping up into some muslims
As sis Houda said, It's more to do with personal choice and I believe it's due to the false belief that you are more protected if the man is taller. Some say it may be due to biological factors as wanting offspring that is taller fitter etc.
However, the bottom line is the it's not the height of a man that finally decides how protected and secure a female feels, it is his courage and love that will show what he is really made of.


my mum tells me 2 eat this saggoor or i think thats wat its called but i dont get why u feel ashamed about your height
Thanks! I now remember that is true. Sago pudding made with milk can indeed help to attain a couple of inches. Two ounces everyday for 6 months for breakfast.



5'7 is alright, just work on your body and you'll have more confidence in yourself, I've seen 5'5 midgets that are strongly built and they have more presence than 6ft tall slim guys
Aw don't call short people midgets bro. Terms like this is why people get an inferiority complex in the first place. But yes, you are right. I know a bro who is probably 5'3 and he looks as strong as a bull cuz he is so chunky. Chunky? I forgot the other word lol.



height is absolutly nothing compared to your character traits. I'd take a 5'-6" guy with a solid Iman and a great personality over someone who is 6' and who's only so-so here and there, anytime!
Anyday!
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Allaah Knows
01-06-2010, 07:47 PM
I'm 18 and 5'7. Seriously, what's wrong with that? Tis only height, nothing to worry about subhaanAllaah and definitely not worth getting depressed about. If I was shorter, alhamdulillah. If I was taller, alhamdulillaah.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-07-2010, 03:09 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Supreme
Hi guys

I'm having problems with my height. I'm 18 and 5'7, hopefully I'll grow a couple of more inches this year but I'm struggling with my height psychologically. It's destryong me inside out, psychologically it's killing me, I'm fighting it with my all but every waking thought I have is about my height and I know it's silly but I can't help it one bit. Any advice?

Prophet Muhammed's (Pbuh) advice was to always think of those who had less than you and who were less fortunate than you.

So put yourself in their position and you will realise how lucky you really are.

Imagine if you were born in poverty?
Imagine if you were born with a debilitating and disfiguring disease?
Imagine if you were born in a war torn country?
Imagine if you were born with there is massacre and oppression of the people?
Imagine if you were born with no parents and was adopted?

At least you have legs to stand on as there are countless who don't.

Don't be fooled into thinking that those who have better looks or have more materialistic wealth are happy because When we look at people around us we don't know what they are going through in their life. They could be going through the worst experiences that we can never imagine.

Wealth and beauty to not bring happiness. Contentment, happiness, peace and tranquility are ONLY found with the worship and the remembrance of God!

So we should thank God constantly for what he has given us. Out of all the people in this world look at what he has given us? Do we go days without eating? Do we struggle to find clean and drinkable water? Do we have families around us? Do we have shelter to live in? Are you disabled or have a terrible disease? Why do we not thank God that he has created us without all of these terrible things in our lives?

Always thank God for EVERYTHING he has given you and think to yourself that at least you have shelter, food, drink, wealth and your health and limbs whereas most people in this world can only dream of having all of that.

Do not feel the need to conform with whatever society finds attractive. This is the same dilema most teenage girls are in nowadays as they feel the need to be a size zero and this is one of the reasons why cases of bolemia and anorexia have increased especially among teenage girls.

God only looks at piety and righteousness. That is what we should be working towards rather than being worried about what society wants us to look like. Let us care more about what God thinks of us rather than what society thinks of us!

All that should matter is for us to please him not please society. It is not society that will bring us eternal salvation but eternal salvation is only with God!

Allah says: "I have only created jinns and humans to worship Me. I do not need from them to provide for Me, and I do not need from them to feed Me. Allah is surely the One Who gives providence, and He is the Mighty and Strong." The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 51, Verses 56-58
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
01-07-2010, 03:18 AM
If you have good character and personality, short height can be overlooked :)

Btw I dont think 5'7" is short :s.

If you're taller than me then its all good :P

If your short but u have an attractive personality etc, thats gud too!
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CosmicPathos
01-07-2010, 03:24 AM
i am 6'2'' and depressed on other things of life ..... cant believe you would get depressed on height ... but i guess we take things for granted .....

I would not answer your question from the importance of height for attracting the opposite gender .... i am not sure if you into attracting opposite gender and talking to them?

Someone mentioned that being introvertive means less confident? How is that so? Ive seen moderately introvertive people who when were in their "rage" shut up their talkative opponents like there's no tomorrow. Moderately introvertive is actually the quality that Luqman(as) wanted his son to develop. Anyways.

Yes on evolutionary grounds and sex selection, females will take a taller guy over a shorter guy everything else being equal. But why do you care about "females" in the first place? I am sure you would find someone who would love you breaking the laws of sexual selection. Sexual selection works for those who are promiscuous and fornicators anyways.
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Hamza Asadullah
01-07-2010, 03:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
i am 6'2'' and depressed on other things of life ..... cant believe you would get depressed on height ... but i guess we take things for granted .....
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, What are you depressed about brother?
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CosmicPathos
01-07-2010, 03:47 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza81
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, What are you depressed about brother?
walaikum assalam,
plz check your inbox.
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Italianguy
01-07-2010, 03:52 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
i am 6'2'' and depressed on other things of life ..... cant believe you would get depressed on height ... but i guess we take things for granted .....

I would not answer your question from the importance of height for attracting the opposite gender .... i am not sure if you into attracting opposite gender and talking to them?

Someone mentioned that being introvertive means less confident? How is that so? Ive seen moderately introvertive people who when were in their "rage" shut up their talkative opponents like there's no tomorrow. Moderately introvertive is actually the quality that Luqman(as) wanted his son to develop. Anyways.

Yes on evolutionary grounds and sex selection, females will take a taller guy over a shorter guy everything else being equal. But why do you care about "females" in the first place? I am sure you would find someone who would love you breaking the laws of sexual selection. Sexual selection works for those who are promiscuous and fornicators anyways.
Oh no my friend, why are you depressed? If you don't mind me asking? I am 6'2'' as well if that makes you feel any better?:D I am also 244 pounds......yeah i know... i'm a big dude. But it's muscle mass, it took me 7 years to get this size:phew:exhausted

I would like to help in any way I can. Please allow me to?

God be with you.
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CosmicPathos
01-07-2010, 04:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Italianguy
Oh no my friend, why are you depressed? If you don't mind me asking? I am 6'2'' as well if that makes you feel any better?:D I am also 244 pounds......yeah i know... i'm a big dude. But it's muscle mass, it took me 7 years to get this size:phew:exhausted

I would like to help in any way I can. Please allow me to?

God be with you.
Wow, 244 pounds of muscle. amazing. :D. I sent you a pm.
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Beardo
01-07-2010, 04:52 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Supreme
Hi guys

I'm having problems with my height. I'm 18 and 5'7, hopefully I'll grow a couple of more inches this year but I'm struggling with my height psychologically. It's destryong me inside out, psychologically it's killing me, I'm fighting it with my all but every waking thought I have is about my height and I know it's silly but I can't help it one bit. Any advice?
5'7 isn't short, ye know.

Though I'm not as stressed out about it as you are, my personal goal is to reach 5'10. I think that's a good enough height, Insha'Allah. My cousin is over 6 feet, and he says he doesn't like it because he has to look down at all his friends.
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