format_quote Originally Posted by
abdulmajid
:sl:
Is it permissible in Islam if one decides to not to get married because he doesn't like the intimacy between a couple or he decides for some other reason? Are there any Quranic verses or the Sayings of Prophet which says one must marry to complete his Iman? Well if there are any why do pagans marry even if they do not have any divine scriptures?
Thank you for your time...
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, here is the Islamic view of why we should marry:
Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a vital part of a Muslim’s life. In fact marriage is so important in the religion of Islam that it is declared to be one half of one’s faith. As a Muslim one should live in accordance with the Islamic Jurisprudence in the way shown by the greatest of creations and the person who was the greatest impact on mankind in the existence of the universe, The Holy Prophet Muhammad . The Prophet himself married and also encouraged others to marry. It has been reported that
The Prophet Muhammad said,
‘A person who posses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’
In another narration the Prophet Muhammad has been reported to have said,
‘Do not delay in three things; 1) The offering of the obligatory prayer. 2) The offering of the funeral prayer when the deceased’s body is present . 3) The marriage of a woman when her couple is found’
One can see from this statement that to become a complete and true believer one must act upon the advice given by The Prophet Muhammad . This means marrying when the partner is found and not delaying it for too long.
The Creator of the Universe – Allah - has stated in the Quran,
‘And wed the single among you’.
(C24 : V32)
One can see from the above verse that the Creator of mankind himself has ordered us to marry. The scholars of Islam have stated that when Allah states an order in the Quran like the above-mentioned one then this order becomes compulsory on man hence marriage is an obligatory act. The big question must be why? Why has Islam emphasised marriage so much and why has the best of creations encouraged it so much. Surely there must be a reason. Well there are a number of reasons why Islam has emphasised marriage so much. A few of which I will mention.
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Why marry?
Marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one. It makes him/her a grown up and gives him/her responsibilities whether those responsibilities are to feed and clothe the wife or to assist the husband. Marriage is supposed to take a person out of the hectic lifestyle that one is in and place him or her in an organised environment giving them a path to follow in life and a shoulder to lean on.
In short marriage arranges one’s life. In Islam a man cannot have relationships with those he can marry unless it is within marriage. In other words Islam gives the right to a woman to be a wife of a man independant of the marriage relationship the man may have with another woman. This is a key diffence because in the modern era a man is not guilty if he has relationships with a woman outside of marriage but the moment he contracts to treat this woman equally as his wife, he is criminalised for illegal behaviour. This is odd as the current common law does not criminalise the actual relationship of the man with another woman but punishes the solemn promise/affirmation in writing to continue.
Any off-spring would be illegitamate as the courts would not recognise polgamy even though it exists and is accepted in behaviour but not in writing. In some senses the increase in divorce rates and re-marriages we see nowadays is in someways a serial version of polygamy!. There are many reasons that support polygamy but Islam limits the practice to four wives and is allowed only when one can be fair to all wives. Polygamy is only mentioned briefly here but as a subject could be read in further detail elsewhere. Please also note that the current Law of the land in this regard should be abided by.
Marriage helps to safeguard one’s imaan (faith) i.e. it stops one from committing such acts by which s/he could be considered immoral. Sins such as intermingling with people of the opposite sex or socialising as it is classed in everyday terms are not considered to be acceptable in Islam, (because it creates immorality and immodesty) even though an incredibly large amount of people will hastely class it as an 'essential' part of one’s day.
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Marriage and its Connection with Fornication and Homosexuality
One of the most underestimated sins is fornication. Nowadays this is considered to be something which one should feel proud of with a ‘the more the better’ motto it seems which is an incredibly sad thing to say. Fornication is a despicable act in the eyes of Islamic Jurisprudence due to its ill effects on society.
Many youngsters and even teenagers get dragged into this act and then suffer the consequences when they (in most cases the female) are left to look after the child and struggle greatly due to financial difficulties. Many also end up leaving the child in an orphanage; circumstances in society can create an unfortunate and challenging upbringing. Hence, fornication plays an extremely significant part in the fall of society. What makes it worse is that today’s society has considered it to be a small matter and it is not paid any attention to it (or not as much as it needs). In fact in modern society fornication is not even considered wrong (i.e. it is not even considered immoral).
Marriage also reduces the possibility of one indulging in the forbidden act of homosexuality. This is such a despicable and cursed act that the proven partakers of this act would attract capital punishment under Islamic Law with a heavy burden on proof (please note that the current law of the land should be abided by individuals and upheld by authorities).
Homosexuality is not only against nature but it also seriously endangers one’s health. Homosexuals or bisexuals are much more likely to contract diseases such as AIDS and HIV from their sexual relationships than a man is who conducts sexual relationships with women. This is due to the fact that in hetrosexual intercourse (i.e. man + woman) there is normally only one way that this disease can be passed on from one individual to the other and that is through the transfusion of the fluids excreted during sexual intercourse. Whereas during a homosexual relationship, during anal intercourse (also prohibited in Islam) there are two ways in which the disease can be contracted. The first way is through the mixing of the fluids and the second way is through the mixing of the blood, which is emitted from the body during anal intercourse. The risk of perpetrating homosexual behaviour increases when a man fails to marry a woman. On the other hand, if a man marries a woman then the risk of him ever commiting homosexual behaviour is almost invariably mitigated.
Islam has tried to prevent those factors that cause immorality, promiscuity and ultimately the downfall of society such as fornication and homosexuality. Islam understands the harms of such things and has therefore laid down severe punishments for those who decide to commit these crimes. In this way one will attempt to stay away from these crimes in any possible way.
I am sure that there will be some people who will find the use of the word crime to describe the acts of fornication and homosexuality somewhat peculiar but as they are root causes of harm for the whole of society that is how they are classified in Islam.. For example: Many cases of domestic violence, rape/indecent assault and disfunctional families are caused/inflicted by peaople who turn around and try to excuse their behaviour by saying they did not think they were committing an illegal act. The cries and complaints of the victims are dismissed as normality in 'this day and age'. For example: a child is left with a single parent due to non-marriage relationships easliy breaking down.
A rape victim is unjustly and quickly accused of 'consenting' as casual sex/extra marital sex is not illegal. A person is infected with a transmitted disease through extra-marital/casual sex of their 'partner'. (A child is born with HIV due to the mother being infected by the desease through extra-marital/casual sex by herself/partner). A child is left with a single parent due to one of the parents being in a homosexual relationship. Fewer children have a brother/sister from the same parent due to homosexual relationship of parent. A baby from casual/extra marrital intercourse is killed (aborted). A decline in population due to abortions from temporary relationships. A drop in births due to same sex relationships. A decline in births causes a decrease in the number of people who look after others in old age.
The nature of temporary relationships leads to a climate of doubt and questionable parentage. Paternity tests may not be error free, conclusive or affordable and legal declarations of paternity and custody can take a long time even when all parties wish it to be expedient. Children in almost all cases would prefer knowing who their biological parents are and prefer being brought up by them however temporary relationships can be very complicated and children end up being the silent victims of social crimes.
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The Knock-on Effects of Fornication and Homosexuality
Unfortunately today, the state and most societies fail to acknowledge fornication and homosexuality as a great factor in the slowing down of the progress of a society as a whole. Many couples acknowledge bringing up children, particularly teenagers is not easy. To do so when one is single is definitely harder.
The very nature of relationships out of marriage leads to temporal behaviour devoid of commitment. Even long standing relationships are tested against time only to breakdown due to the absense of commitment in the form of a marriage contract. Children need to be nurtured, be motivated and be re-assured. They need role models and people who they can talk/confide in. Where families are broken and reflect the state of society young people do not recieve the support they need. 'Time and Money' being the commodoties that are best shared in family environments are split or consumed by 'individual space/pursuits'.
Children are left vulnerable to society's ills and juvenile crime; leading to a life devoid of social resposibility and this degenerating cycle repeats. People attemting to attract potential sexual participants often resort to displaying themselves with the latest trend in clothes, gadjets, cars/posessions.
Some waste a lot of money ensuring they replace yesterdays gear with today's. Money is commonly channeled away from necessities and somtimes substantial debt is incurred. These expenses may be paid by hard-earned cash however ill gotten means (fraud/theft) fueling such showful habits are familiar and increasing as 'must have' mentalities prevail. Indecent/sexual assault, rape etc are crimes that are commited where defence excuses touted include 'honourable attention', wrong signals' 'reasonable belief of consent', etc. If sexual intercourse was legal only under marriage then some of these crimes can be prevented as there will be no excuses. There would also be a decrease in crimes centred around attention competion as again the objective would be only legal within marriage and so opportunists would find it diffficult. Crime rates in islamic/moral socities is considerably lower than where fornication and homosexuality is not abated.
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Marriage and Masturbation
One type of indecent practise, which has crept into the youngsters of today, is the practise of masturbation. This is partly due to the fact that many people decide to marry very late on in their lives, (which is not in accordance with what The Prophet Muhammad said). This leads them into this practice because they feel that they need to fulfil their carnal desires but they cannot do so in the normal way i.e. sexual intercourse.
Islam has condemned the act of masturbation simply because it is harmful towards a person not only physically but also morally. Masturbation contributes to the weakening of the sexual organs. One reason why people do not think that masturbating is wrong is because that is what most people are led into thinking. I can remember very well from my time in school when the teacher actually encouraged masturbation by saying that one should masturbate whenever one feels the urge and that one should not consider it to be wrong or immoral. I myself found this fairly shocking due to the fact that I came from a background where acts such as masturbation were shunned.
A Final Word Regarding Marriage
Islam has many reasons to encourage marriage such as its advantages in safeguarding one’s faith and also because marriage is an essential element in the proper upbringing of children. This is because children without one of their parents are much more likely to commit crimes etc. and in short become a nuisance to the environment they live in. Marriage plays a large part in saving one from fornication, homosexuality and masturbation. It takes away the possibility of these things because after marriage a man is supposed to occupy himself with a woman he has married and vice versa.
The Prophet Muhammad has himself said, ‘A person who posses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry, then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’
Not only has The Holy Prophet Muhammad placed emphasis on the importance of marriage but also the Creator of the Universe (Allah) has commanded His people to marry when He says in the Quran, ‘And wed the single among you’.
(chapter 24, verse 32)
From the above verse one sees again that the Creator of mankind has ordered man (not just advised him) to join in matrimony. I am hopeful that you will agree on the importance of marriage based on the above factual data / the Quran and the sayings of The Prophet Muhammad .
Unfortunately though, even after much emphasis from Islam on the importance of marriage, many people still fail to acknowledge its significance. A relationship between two people is not just supposed to be a short, action-packed romance story from the studios of Hollywood (which inevitably comes to an end sooner rather than later), but it is supposed to be a serious, long-term relationship in which both individuals are content and comfortable with one another.
A relationship should not exist of a one-night-stand as is the case now especially amongst students of universities, colleges and even schools. A relationship should show that both partners are ready to sacrifice and endure for their partner; the way towards this is through marriage. Until the world realises the importance of marriage as well as its benefits and advantages, it will be faced with the endless problems caused by neglecting marriage.
Source:http://www.inter-islam.org/Lifestyle/marry.htm