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anonymous
01-10-2010, 03:48 AM
:sl: brothers and sisters,

I have a friend at the office who has always been a victim of bully. Sometimes I don't know where he gets his patience. He is very quiet. We work in a very small company. Sometimes I'm not sure if bully is the right word to use. It's more of an "office politic" issues. Whoever gets more attention from the boss will be pushed around pretty badly up to the point until that person would want to quit the job. Ive witness this many a times. Its like one gone, next target will be selected :P

Recently my friend was given a raise in payment due to his performance. guess people at work wasn't very happy about it they started to look for his flaws if they couldn't find one they will try and sabotage his work and make him look bad in front of the boss. When our boss is not around they would make him do things that wasn't even written in his job DESCRIPTION! I would think that is DESPICABLE! If he refuses they will try find ways to get back to him.

One time I saw one of those "idiot" altered his work when he was not around and accused him of making those mistakes to the boss. He gets all the lectured and scolding yet he doesn't say a thing about others and kept it to himself. I felt horrible for him. Masya'Allah sometimes I envy his patience. If I was at his shoe I would probably fight back and go berserk. I tried to tell the boss but 1 voice against many, of course the large majority always wins.

I felt horrible for him. Sometimes I can feel that I am more angry than he is and sometimes I feel like standing up for him and yelled at those cold hearted bugger but I'm afraid if I do such thing he will think that I do not think highly of him as a man.

I think I am more angry and ashamed that these things are committed by our fellow Muslim friends :( It sadden me sometimes. These are also people who always lectured others about the Islamic right yet they themselves neglected it. There were time where the guys would skip prayers and when I reminded them they would say things like "later" or tell me to mind my own business, while the ladies would gather in one place(sometimes together with the guys) passing judgments of other people's life and spread fault rumors without feeling a slightest bit of guilt. Astaghfirullahalazim.

It's embarrassing brothers and sisters...sometimes I would tell them to move far away so that I wouldn't have to listen to their gossips. I am contemplating of getting a headphone soon so whenever they speak bad of others I can just listen to something beneficial and blocked those bad vibes away from my hearing.

Though I am often mocked for "trying to be nice" as they call it, I am not bothered by it one bit :P and sincerely speaking I can feel that I will probably soon be on their "hate list" as I refuses to join their "clique". I think I'm more afraid of being hated by god than them. Though I admit I have a bad habit of being short tempered when someone gets on my nerve. May Allah grant me strength and patient.

There are times when I became angry, deep down in my heart I wish I could pray bad things for them but I know its not permissible to do that in Islam. We are taught to pray good things instead of bad for others.

Which brings me to my question. Is there a dua(other than ayatul kursi) that can protect us from people like these? Its the least I can do to help I guess and also protect myself in the future.
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Alpha Dude
01-10-2010, 12:23 PM
I really hate people like that. I wish them no mercy and total annihilation for being so stupid. :hmm: That's until I remember Allah is most merciful and they deserve to be guided.

Yeah, ayatul kursi would be good. Also the 4 quls thrice morning and evening.
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itsme
01-10-2010, 02:27 PM
:sl:

Surah 10 verses 85,86:

فَقَالُوا عَلَى اللَّهِ تَوَكَّلْنَا رَبَّنَا لَا تَجْعَلْنَا فِتْنَةً لِّلْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ
They said: "In Allah do we put out trust. Our Lord! make us not a trial for those who practise oppression;

وَنَجِّنَا بِرَحْمَتِكَ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ
"And deliver us by Thy Mercy from those who reject (Thee)."


Allaah is sufficient for us, and how fine a trustee (He is).

Duahs from Hisnul Muslim:


Allaahummak fineehim bima shi'ta
O Allaah, protect me from them with what You choose.


Allaahumma innaa nadj'alooka fi nou'hourihim wana'oudzoubika min shourourihim
O Allah, we place You before them and we take refuge in You from their evil.


O Allaah, Revealer of the Book, Swift at reckoning, defeat the confederates. O Allaah, defeat them and convulse them.


And there's one other dua from the book Selected Invocations:
Allaahoummaqsim lana min khashyatika ma tahoulou bihi bayna ma'swiyatik...

I don't have its arabic nor complete dua in electronic form. Anybody who has it can please share?
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جوري
01-10-2010, 10:14 PM
beautiful du3a itseme Jazaki Allah khyran..

Unfortunately this is a very common thing in the west, and happens at all levels.. Muslim workers tend to rise to the top because they have excellent work ethics and the rest just scheme and sabotage to either push them out or make their daily life a living hell..

The best thing to do is keep steadfast and make du3a and salat.. those are the weapons of the believer and Allah swt doesn't allow for injustice, even patience in and of itself is rewarded so keep steadfast..

:w:
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syilla
01-11-2010, 04:45 AM
ohh akhee... you should read this one hadith but i can't find it i'm so sorry...

But it goes like this...theres one group of people came and complaining to the prophet about this companion. They said people always take advantage of him but he always keep silence and never try to defend himself. And they become worried of him and furious for he is being too nice. but the prophet only answer... Let him be...because the righteous people always been taken advantage of.

So thats mean he is the righteous and Allah swt love him so... :(

I wish i can be so nice like him...
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Asim Khan
01-11-2010, 01:35 PM
As-salam-o-aliekum,

Alhumdulillah. I heard Sheikh Hussain Ye say that Ayatul Kursi and the last three quls build spiritual defence (time spent with these is better than other things). The prophet saw regularly used to read these* and blow on his hands and rub (pass them, "pherna") over his body wherever they could reach, before going to sleep.

* I had a question about this, do the hands (side by side as in supplication) have to be extra close to the face so that we are reciting on them (as well as blowing on them afterwards)?

I heard in Dr. Israr Ahmad's dars on Surah Nas (and/or Falaq) (just took a peek now of Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Falaq, quotation below):

It has been reported from Abu Sa`id that the Messenger of Allah used to seek protection against the evil eyes of the Jinns and mankind. But when the Mu`awwidhatayn were revealed, he used them (for protection) and abandoned all else besides them.

www.qtafseer.com

Alhumdulillah, I got to translate a bit of the dars earlier.

14:55-15:55:

"Now let us start the mutala (study) pf Surah Nas. There is another thing to be noted about the Muawidatain and I said this in the dars of Surah Ikhlas. [...] They appear as a pair [... reciting 113:1, 114:1] and both have a meaning-wise and deep affinity with Surah Ikhlas; and they are joined with Surah Ikhlas lafz e As-Samad kay hawalay say (by way of the word As-Samad). [... reciting 112:1,2] And though lots of meanings of the word samad have been expounded and different tabeerat have been done, but the thing on which there is almost a consensus: Samad is that Being to which one turns for refuge, for help, whose refuge is gained, whose pusht panaahi (encouragement) is desired; like that boulder, if a war is taking place, there is a clash, then the army that has the boulder behind it, its rear is tantamount to being secure [...]."

(listen) http://www.tanzeemarchive.org/dars-e...rah%20naas.ram
(download) http://www.tanzeemarchive.org/dars-e...urah%20naas.ra

http://www.tanzeem.org/broadcast/aud...darsequran.asp

:wa:
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Hamza Asadullah
01-12-2010, 04:40 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl: brothers and sisters,

I have a friend at the office who has always been a victim of bully. Sometimes I don't know where he gets his patience. He is very quiet. We work in a very small company. Sometimes I'm not sure if bully is the right word to use. It's more of an "office politic" issues. Whoever gets more attention from the boss will be pushed around pretty badly up to the point until that person would want to quit the job. Ive witness this many a times. Its like one gone, next target will be selected :P

Recently my friend was given a raise in payment due to his performance. guess people at work wasn't very happy about it they started to look for his flaws if they couldn't find one they will try and sabotage his work and make him look bad in front of the boss. When our boss is not around they would make him do things that wasn't even written in his job DESCRIPTION! I would think that is DESPICABLE! If he refuses they will try find ways to get back to him.

One time I saw one of those "idiot" altered his work when he was not around and accused him of making those mistakes to the boss. He gets all the lectured and scolding yet he doesn't say a thing about others and kept it to himself. I felt horrible for him. Masya'Allah sometimes I envy his patience. If I was at his shoe I would probably fight back and go berserk. I tried to tell the boss but 1 voice against many, of course the large majority always wins.

I felt horrible for him. Sometimes I can feel that I am more angry than he is and sometimes I feel like standing up for him and yelled at those cold hearted bugger but I'm afraid if I do such thing he will think that I do not think highly of him as a man.

I think I am more angry and ashamed that these things are committed by our fellow Muslim friends :( It sadden me sometimes. These are also people who always lectured others about the Islamic right yet they themselves neglected it. There were time where the guys would skip prayers and when I reminded them they would say things like "later" or tell me to mind my own business, while the ladies would gather in one place(sometimes together with the guys) passing judgments of other people's life and spread fault rumors without feeling a slightest bit of guilt. Astaghfirullahalazim.

It's embarrassing brothers and sisters...sometimes I would tell them to move far away so that I wouldn't have to listen to their gossips. I am contemplating of getting a headphone soon so whenever they speak bad of others I can just listen to something beneficial and blocked those bad vibes away from my hearing.

Though I am often mocked for "trying to be nice" as they call it, I am not bothered by it one bit :P and sincerely speaking I can feel that I will probably soon be on their "hate list" as I refuses to join their "clique". I think I'm more afraid of being hated by god than them. Though I admit I have a bad habit of being short tempered when someone gets on my nerve. May Allah grant me strength and patient.

There are times when I became angry, deep down in my heart I wish I could pray bad things for them but I know its not permissible to do that in Islam. We are taught to pray good things instead of bad for others.

Which brings me to my question. Is there a dua(other than ayatul kursi) that can protect us from people like these? Its the least I can do to help I guess and also protect myself in the future.
:sl: This is a very sad state of affairs and very unfortunate that it is Muslims who are acting like this. What i would urge you to do is to try and find another job. You can't continue to work with people like that. That kind of atmosphere is terrible for your imaan.

Search for other jobs whilst you are working here and ask of Allah that he give you a better job than this one and a working atmosphere that it nothing like the one you are working in currently.

Also continue to give dawah to them inviting them towards the right path. It is our duty to enjoing good and forbid evil. Give them evidances if it helps to prove from Qur'a and sunnah that what they are doing is wrong.

You will be rewarded greatly for enjoining good and forbidding evil. If the person who is being bullied is of the same gender as you then you should talk to him abou this and get advice on the matter. There is a lot of compensation available nowadays for abuse at work.

Dua by the oppressed is always heard and never rejected

The prophet (SAW) declared, 'Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.' [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

So he should make much dua and also apply for other positions whilst he is in this job and Allah may find him a better job in a much better working atmosphere.

Stress is extremely dangerous for ones health so is it worth it going through years of this and risk ones health in the process?
Reply

Italianguy
01-12-2010, 06:07 AM
Sorry abot your friends misfortuneimsad......tell him to come on down to Virginia, i need another service manger:D I already have one Muslim working for me...why not another? Mohammed has been awesome, great work ethic, takes pride in his work, and I show my appreciation for it as well. He is not as quite as your friend though;D he can get pretty heated with the feild employees some times...but they respect him for that, he's got guts! Your friend needs to stand up for himself, the others take this as weakness and will walk all over him.

The first 2 weeks Mohammed worked for me he told me that none of my employees liked him, that they didn't listen, that he has been trying to befriend them, but to no avail. I told him, they are your employees working UNDER you, i just sign the checks on friday, make them listen to you! Tell them I said if they disobey you....they are fired! He took charge and has gained the respect of everybody there now, they love him and genuanly want to impress him.:D

General rule of thumb in business.....If your not a leader, ..your not in business to succeed, ...your in business to fail! Same goes for employees, you want to get respect and move up...demand it by being the best at what you do. And if you don't get what you deserve...LEAVE and go where you will get it.

Sorry to ramble....hope everything works out.

God bless.
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syilla
01-12-2010, 07:05 AM
^^^any business in Malaysia? :D

back to the topic? :hiding:

OP : How are you doing now akhee?
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cat eyes
01-12-2010, 11:26 PM
the worst of them are the ones who have knowledge about the seriousness of backbiting but still carry on doing it. what i hate the most is when some sisters whisper to each other and have a little giggle on the back of another muslim. it might be that they have little knowledge and most backbiters make themselves believe they are not doing nothing wrong if you try and warn them as nice as u can they jump down your throat because they don't want to listen to the truth what they are doing is a major sin then they start with the excuses telling you that what they are doing is not backbiting :exhausted i mean why open there mouths at least keep in there vacuous hearts at least
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anonymous
01-13-2010, 09:41 AM
Jazakallah khayran Jazakallah khayran for all the advices and duas. I will try and recite them as often as I can.

Brother Hamza: its very difficult to look for a new job at this time around. I've tried a few times but with not much luck. I am still trying though. Please pray that we'll find better jobs in the future.

Italianguy: Fortunately Mohamed is very lucky man since he has the approval to fire those who disobey his orders, which something that my friend does not have. It's good to hear that he's doing such a great job at your company. I wish him all the best.

Sister Syilla: still living in the same environment. The only improvement there is thus far is that "they" have found a different spot to do their "business". Sparing me and the guy from all the bad stuff.
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