family feud

[anonymous]

so i have this sis (we'll call her 'y') who is a bit of a trouble maker. by a bit, i mean this an understatement. Last week my other sis (we'll call her 'x') came to visit for 2 weeks. over the years, there has been a little bit of tension between my mum and sis 'x' but generally they get along like normal. in fact within the first few days sis x trip my mum and her were getting along so so great, i seriously thought there was something behind it.
to cut a long story short, due to sis ‘y’ childish behaviour she caused my mum and sister to be angry at one another and as a result my sister went home a week early.
i do realise and understand why my mum may sometimes get angry with sis ‘x’ and why there is tension i totally know her faults and don’t deny them but what really and truly gets under my skin is the fact that sis 'y' knowing how delicate and unstable the situation between my mum and sis, goes tells my mum ceain things about what my sister as to aggravate my mum against her. why would you add fuel to the fire. Just why? :( she makes mountains out of molehills, cries crocodile tears, acts all victimised and basically has my mum wrapped around her little finger. She angers me. by allah how does someone manage to pull this off and go unnoticed. Everyone is crying and shouting at one another, and dead set, you know what she does when all this is going on? Sits back and looks content and satisfied. It is seriously weird. It’s like she wants the trouble. she even goes as far and claims that she does this out of love for my mum. I mean can you get anymore pathetic! If you truly love your mum, why the heck make her angry like this? Why not lie? We try to explain to my mum that someone is trying to stir trouble, and she doesn’t a take a bar of it.
also my mum has said that we cant talk to my sister or her girls.
and this is why im here. My sister emailed me asking me not to tell anyone that she did, asking for my help and what to do. She asked me to tell my brother what happened (he wasn’t at home when all the fights started) so that he see both sides of the story.
I wasn’t going to tell anyone that she emailed me because i thought that i could mend things, but just this arvo my mum coincidently asked if she emailed me and i couldn’t lie to her cos i thought she would have figured it out anyway. Anyway when my mum found out she, told me to ignore her and not reply. So im really stuck. No ones talking to one another, i told my sister i was going to reply to her and shes waiting i don’t know what to do
it just seems that my mum is taking this as some kind of power trip like she like seeing my sister distress so its like she is taking it as a joke and thats why she is telling me to ignore her.
Is there some kind of ruling concerning those who go around making trouble like this? This is so so wrong. There is so many things wrong with this situation. I don’t know what to do :(

[ahmed_indian]

:sl:,

i think you need to talk to ur sis politely about all this. tell her know that her childish behaviour is creating tensions in the family.

most of these happen when the family is not practicing Islam properly. if thats the case, try to bring love of Allah in ur family thru islamic books, videos, etc. ppl who are concerned about Allah and hereafer, rarely fight.

keep making dua. may Allah help ur family.

[Raudha]

:sl: (Assuming that you are a Muslim member)

I am really sorry that you and your family are going through this hardship and I hope that you will be able to resolve this issue soon.

I don't think you need to obey your mother when she orders you not to reply to your sister's emails. A muslim is obligated to obey his/her parents as long as they do not order us to do things which are against the laws of Islam. And Islam forbids us from breaking family ties.

If you reply to your sister's emails you will be doing it with the intention of joining family ties (a virtuous act). Therefore I would advise you to go ahead with replying to your sister's email. Also, in your case it would be permissible to lie to your mother because you are trying to avoid/correct conflict between family members.

Allah knows best.

May Allah instill love and mercy in the hearts of all you family members and grant you all happiness and contentment. Ameen

:peace:

[AlHoda]

:sl:

May Allah help you in these times of hardship, I hope your family will live peace and happiness. :)
:wa:

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[Alpha Dude]

:sl:,
most of these happen when the family is not practicing Islam properly.

I agree. This is very much the ROOT problem she has. Focus your attention on guiding her toward Islam and all these other things will fall into place.