Who's more strict?

[Beardo]

Interesting question.

Well, if I ever want something, I'd probably approach my mom. But if that fails miserably (like my mom doesn't even give it a second thought), I go to my dad. If that doesn't work, I make a petition, like the one I made about my mini laptop.

Though I find it a lot easier to get things from my dad.

In general, I think my dad only gets strict when my mom gets strict. Or when my mom tells him to be strict. :X

[Woodrow]

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

[Beardo]

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

That's sort of like the American style, I think.

The desi style is that the mother is the momster (when it comes to school, that is) and the father is the tag along. ;D

[Cabdullahi]

Im closer to my mum than my dad but i think my dad is slightly more lenient but i love my mum more

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[Beardo]

Im closer to my mum than my dad but i think my dad is slightly more lenient

Exactly how it is with me too. :X

[Beardo]

The Quran

1. "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

2. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

3. "We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not'" (29:8).

4. "We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)" (31:14-15).

The Hadith

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

[syilla]

you're right akhee woodrow...the mother is the enforcer and the father only punish after it or after the mom told to do so.

i just hate being the enforcer but at the same time i just can't stand the idea of my son not having discipline. sometimes i just feel to let it go and have their own way... but at the end of the day i'm still the enforcer. i missed being my old self :(

[Rafeeq]

My mom is more strict. Even, I am grown enough, but still she threatens me that she would slap me :)

[S<Chowdhury]

My mom is more strict. Even, I am grown enough, but still she threatens me that she would slap me :)

I feel your pain brother, i think it all depends on how your parents are brought up. My father isnt really that strict rather more liberal whilst my mum is a conservative person lol

[جوري]

My father had us on a military style upbringing and always steered his ship with an iron grip-- but inside he is a softy.. although that side of him was never obvious.. He is very old school and I don't think many people are like that at all anymore... I think I inherited the 'military precision' lifestyle from him.. I generally despise positively despise failure and laziness.. and people who give up (or who have poor hygiene)


:w:

[aizar]

when i was younger my mum was really strict but only in the right way making sure we read quran and having good manners dad on the other hand was softer but also strict in our good upbringing now i am a parent i think i am more strict then my husband even though i am from this country and he is from pakistan it all comes down to what your values are

[abu_musab461]

i know a bother who used to be given chilli podwer if he dared to swear infront of his parents...

i think he is quite lucky.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Chilli powder if he swears at his parents by his parents?
How is that lucky?

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Oh if he dares..by his friends?
and how is he lucky lol?

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Mum..............

[Italianguy]

Mia Madre (Mom), of course .....what?....come on i'm Italian, you think those giant wooden spoons hanging in the wall in an Italian womans kitchen are for cooking:hmm: Yu will find out realllllll quick when you come home late:phew:hiding:

[roohani.doctor]

^ LOL

Definitely Dad for me. He's gotten more lenient as I get older though :D

[AlbanianMuslim]

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

Sounds about right for the most part. Im the only girl in the family so they are far more strict with me than the boys, and I dont disagree that it should be that way seeing as I am far more vulnerable than my brothers. My mother is usually the one who tells me not to do it and punished if I did, at this point in my life I dont really get into any type of trouble that she can really punish me for.
My dad usually handles my brothers but my mom has a strong influence over them too. They often run to her first when theyve done something wrong in the hopes that she will ease the blow. :omg:

[ArtOfClass]

^ LOL

Definitely Dad for me. He's gotten more lenient as I get older though :D

Definatly the same here. I'm surprised at the results.. I'd expected "Daddy" to be up top with hundreds of votes. :hmm:
Those who have strict mothers are blessed greatly.. I wish my mother strict. =)

Mia Madre (Mom), of course .....what?....come on i'm Italian, you think those giant wooden spoons hanging in the wall in an Italian womans kitchen are for cooking:hmm: Yu will find out realllllll quick when you come home late:phew:hiding:

hehe, that's funny :p

Chilli powder if he swears at his parents by his parents?
How is that lucky?

Oh if he dares..by his friends?
and how is he lucky lol?

I think brother abu_musab461 is a fan of chilli powder himself. hehe;

i know a bother who used to be given chilli podwer if he dared to swear infront of his parents...

i think he is quite lucky.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^^ lol yeah maybe.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Indeeed yes yes yes indeeed

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Well they actually say that when a husband and wife grow older the father gets more sweet and the mother gets not so sweet. Has got something to do with hormones. The father will get more feromones and the mother more testosteron. You see that with old people seriously. Grandpa's get more huggable and grandma's get more ehhm not so huggable.

Anyway I voted both. My parents are equally sweet but can be strict as well. I go to Dad when I have a problem with school or work or whatever. Something classified as "business". To Mum I go with problems involved private stuff I cant discuss with dad classified as "private" :D But like to tease them both hehe

[Italianguy]

Well they actually say that when a husband and wife grow older the father gets more sweet and the mother gets not so sweet. Has got something to do with hormones. The father will get more feromones and the mother more testosteron. You see that with old people seriously. Grandpa's get more huggable and grandma's get more ehhm not so huggable.

Anyway I voted both. My parents are equally sweet but can be strict as well. I go to Dad when I have a problem with school or work or whatever. Something classified as "business". To Mum I go with problems involved private stuff I cant discuss with dad classified as "private" :D But like to tease them both hehe

Thats soooo true. With age you will notice a father will stop using his big leather belt for ummmm, ....discipline:phew, and start using the big leather belt to hold his pants up;D usually above the belly button;D

Buttttt....Mia madre hasn't changed muchimsad she is a tough woman and gets tougher with age. lei madre was never much for compasion or sweetness, she was more the type to say "Stop your crying and get over it!"

[Rialah]

Both, all elders, no pref:D

They didnt really belt us but there was the cane with branches for swiping your ankles by gran and mum

Dad made u stand in the corner and face the wall and think about your life or you had to stoop down,(stand like ruku, touch the ground with one finger of one hand and put the other hand on your back) stand at attention with your arms in the air or close your eyes and face the wall. Or sometimes he yelled!!

Grandad, he would pinch you like a chicken with a new brood when you are least expecting it.

heee heee hee..;D

They also send you for 'arodan' a non existent errand where they send you to a house down the road, you go and ask for 'arodan', the people there send you on to another person and so on till u walked 10 miles and u been walking for hours and are tired and exhausted then someone pities you gives u an empty envelope and sends you home.. phew:exhausted

mums and dads sometimes become more like each other as time goes on or as mine do, if you do something, they dont argue on punishment, if you go to mum, she sends you to dad, if you go to dad, he sends you to mum if you get frustruated then you have to go on an errand that may never end!! so eventually you say yes sir, yes maam and go sit down you are okay or if you go into one the ultimate is the village meeting, you don't want that, your aunties, grannies, uncles are called, they sit in a room, shut the door and as I learned they chit chat for some time eat snacks and refreshments then call you in, make you sit on a stool in the middle and you then face a court martial

Hehhh that is baaaad!!!!! they all tell you off till u want the ground to open and swallow you and your head hurts!!!:hiding:

Then you have to be an angel for the next few months or else!!! you will be in double 'wahala' :nervous:


LOL lol lol discipline is good, strict parents can't kill you, just prevent you from thinking you can escape their beady eyes and scrutiny!!

;D

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^Seriously sis this is shocking! How old were you??

[Khairaddin]

whoever voted 'neither' has issues O_O ....

mother is stricter than father, but that's because mother is 'teenage-aware' ....she knows what goes down 8)

[Nokiacrazi]

On the face of it, my father is more strict.

But really, my mum would win that battle. My dad wouldn't really care, unless it was very very bad.

[GuCcI]

Both are equally strict, I think they both have to be on the same page or else we would just take advantage of the nicer one *innocent* :)

[unknown_JJ]

hmm, i duno, it depends on the situation I fink..
maybe u should have included in-laws

[Pure Purple]

Both, all elders, no pref:D

They didnt really belt us but there was the cane with branches for swiping your ankles by gran and mum

Dad made u stand in the corner and face the wall and think about your life or you had to stoop down,(stand like ruku, touch the ground with one finger of one hand and put the other hand on your back) stand at attention with your arms in the air or close your eyes and face the wall. Or sometimes he yelled!!

Grandad, he would pinch you like a chicken with a new brood when you are least expecting it.

heee heee hee..;D

Lol this sounds like a punishment given in my school for not paying attention during class.

I am the only one whose parents feel good if school teacher has complain about you ?
This has happened with my sister.She was intelligent but wasn't studious and during one of her semester she topped her class, it was unexpected.You know how much attention you get in school when you are rank 1.She had lot of pressure and expectation although my parents never pressurised to score good. when her next semester exams were started my sister said to my mother that she don't want to give exams at all.My mother asked her, will you pass this year even if you don't give exams.She said yes and my mother said then don't give.

Once her school teacher complained to my mother that she is very talkative and not paying attention in the class. My sister was scared but when she came back home my mother was smiling as if she is happy receiving such complains. She even once said I want you to enjoy I want people complain about my children being mischievous. Lol
My father is very lineint. I wasnt very well mannered and mature person and my mother had complains about me. Once my mother complained about me and asked him to scold me and my father tried hard to make angry face but he couldn't we all started laughing.

What I see in my family girls are mostly close to father including me and boys are mostly close to mother don't know why .