Did i do something wrong?

[Life_Is_Short]

:sl:

I was talking to my (only) friend today and i asked her to let me borrow her book so that i could revise properly and in return i offered to help her with her exam but i didn't have my previous notes or books to give her. She asked me to come to her house but i'm not allowed and so i told her to come to the nearest library with the book but she went offline. :hmm: I have never met up with any of my friends outside school. I was going to see this friend after three years and many times during school and college days she has invited me to her house, birthdays, ramadhan parties etc but i refused simply because my parents don't like it.

What did i do wrong? :embarrass

[Taqiyah]

:sl:

I was talking to my (only) friend today and i asked her to let me borrow her book so that i could revise properly and in return i offered to help her with her exam but i didn't have my previous notes or books to give her. She asked me to come to her house but i'm not allowed and so i told her to come to the nearest library with the book but she went offline. :hmm: I have never met up with any of my friends outside school. I was going to see this friend after three years and many times during school and college days she has invited me to her house, birthdays, ramadhan parties etc but i refused simply because my parents don't like it.

What did i do wrong? :embarrass

Salaam sister,

perhaps you haven't clearly explained to her in detail why you can't come to her house or she would not have kept on inviting you to her house for those different occasions. She probably got offended because she thinks you have something against her family. It is good that you are respecting your parents' wishes by not going but did they ever tell you why they didn't like you going to her? Is it just her house or all your friends houses?:hmm:Try to find out why sis.:hmm::hmm:

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

:sl:

.. but she went offline. :hmm:

may be , server was down or electriticy went off . These 2 are common problems here .

Do u have her phone no ? Call her or send her mail explaining ur situation .

[Rafeeq]

You should accompany your brother or father to go to her home and bring the notes. It is 3rd option. Do inform her why you were used to refuse.

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[Hamza Asadullah]

:sl:

I was talking to my (only) friend today and i asked her to let me borrow her book so that i could revise properly and in return i offered to help her with her exam but i didn't have my previous notes or books to give her. She asked me to come to her house but i'm not allowed and so i told her to come to the nearest library with the book but she went offline. :hmm: I have never met up with any of my friends outside school. I was going to see this friend after three years and many times during school and college days she has invited me to her house, birthdays, ramadhan parties etc but i refused simply because my parents don't like it.

What did i do wrong? :embarrass

:sl: sister you have'nt done anything wrong so do not worry yourself too much it may just be her internet got disconnected or she had to go offline for some reason or another. Also let her know of the reasons why you can't come so that she understands.

Also sister try to find good and practising friends who pray and do not talk loosely or listen to music and talk about haraam things or gossip, backbite and slander others.

Don't take these kind of people as your friends but try to stick with those with good character and those who pray and would benefit you and not those that will lead you astray. It is very important for us to keep the right type of friends because we are who our friends are and if our friends are not right then they will eventually have influence on us.

Just go towards Allah trying to please him as much as you can because youth is precious and you should make the best of it whilst you have it because you will also be questioned by Allah about how you spent your youth.

Pray all of your Fard, Sunnah and Nafil Salah, recite Qur'an with meaning and implement what you learn into your life, do Dhikr as much as you can, learn and read about Islam and always treat your parents the best and be the best towards others keeping away from guys and not making friends with them at all and avoid keeping bad friends only sticking with good and pious sisters or those with very good characters. As soon as one of your friends ever goes astray then give her dawah and make dua for her but keep away from her for that is best for you.

Here is a very beneficial article for you to look at and implement in your life:

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...e-its-too-late!

[Life_Is_Short]

Salaam sister,

perhaps you haven't clearly explained to her in detail why you can't come to her house or she would not have kept on inviting you to her house for those different occasions. She probably got offended because she thinks you have something against her family. It is good that you are respecting your parents' wishes by not going but did they ever tell you why they didn't like you going to her? Is it just her house or all your friends houses?:hmm:Try to find out why sis.:hmm::hmm:

:sl:
It's because there are non-mehrams at my friends house. I am generally not allowed to go to anyones house or indeed outside (on my own) unless it's to do with the studies. I've explanied this to her many times.

[Life_Is_Short]

:wa:



may be , server was down or electriticy went off . These 2 are common problems here .

Do u have her phone no ? Call her or send her mail explaining ur situation .

No because her sister came online a second after she went offline. We were in the middle of a conversation and she signed off. :mmokay: She even txt me last night but she never mentioned anything about coming to the library or bringing the book.

She's intentionally ignoring this. :hmm:

[Hamza Asadullah]

:sl:
It's because there are non-mehrams at my friends house. I am generally not allowed to go to anyones house or indeed outside (on my own) unless it's to with the studies. I've explanied this to her many times.

:sl: if she does'nt want to understand then she is not a friend to you. You will make plenty of good friends over the next few years inshallah but people like that who are not understanding should not be called friends in the first place. Just be the best towards her and give her dawah but cut off connections with her.

and Allah knows best

[Life_Is_Short]

I think you're right, friends are not worth the effort.

[Cabdullahi]

is there any other way you could get your hands on that book....could you borrow it from the library or perhaps buy it

[Life_Is_Short]

is there any other way you could get your hands on that book....could you borrow it from the library or perhaps buy it

Apart from stealing, nope. imsad I've checked out all the libraries and the revision book costs like £17. Where am i going to get that kind of money? :hmm:


Doesn't matter though i found good notes on the internet and as for the friendship, IT'S OVER, OFF MY BUDDY LIST! <_<

[Cabdullahi]

Apart from stealing, nope. imsad I've checked out all the libraries and the revision book costs like £17. Where am i going to get that kind of money? :hmm:


Doesn't matter though i found good notes on the internet and as for the friendship, IT'S OVER, OFF MY BUDDY LIST! <_<

Its over?! do girls lose friendship over things like these?

how sure are you that these internet notes are good notes

[S<Chowdhury]

Apart from stealing, nope. imsad I've checked out all the libraries and the revision book costs like £17. Where am i going to get that kind of money? :hmm:


Doesn't matter though i found good notes on the internet and as for the friendship, IT'S OVER, OFF MY BUDDY LIST! <_<

Sis i feel so sorry for you but i can only sympathise, hmm i hope your exam goes well though and gd luck. But this situation is rather new to me, i feel like a newbie. My sister is erm well 14 and she's allowed to visit her friends houses (Female Only Though Obv), and i guess to me it sounds like your parents are over protecting you.

But then again this is my opinion and I applaud the way you respect your Parents and their wishes, they usually have the best interest at heart for you. However i think you do need to ask them whats wrong with being able to visit your friends house.

In terms of your friends, they should be understanding but I'd be quite offended if someone parents said that i wasn't good enough for there child, so they can't be around me, maybe that's how she is feeling.

Brother Abdullahii question do females ose friendship over things like these, IDK we are talking about females, you can never quite understand how they work, its a mystery lol.

[Life_Is_Short]

:sl:
Well, i asked her again about the revision book on her facebook and she deleted my post.
I don't think i am going to bother asking her again. imsad I know she'll come around when she need help or advice.
Seriously, friends like these are a waste of time. :exhausted

[Cabdullahi]

i presume you two are in secondary school and you have gcse's? coming up.....

just forget about her for now she's not worth your time....what you need to do now is get the necessary revision material!

[cat eyes]

Apart from stealing, nope. imsad I've checked out all the libraries and the revision book costs like £17. Where am i going to get that kind of money? :hmm:


Doesn't matter though i found good notes on the internet and as for the friendship, IT'S OVER, OFF MY BUDDY LIST! <_<

isen friends just a headache. hard to find good ones:)

[Life_Is_Short]

i presume you two are in secondary school and you have gcse's? coming up.....

just forget about her for now she's not worth your time....what you need to do now is get the necessary revision material!

I've done my A-levels and i'm retaking an exam.

[Cabdullahi]

I've done my A-levels and i'm retaking an exam.

A-level student? but what's up with this primary school style of friendship that dissolves over petty things ??

[Life_Is_Short]

A-level student? but what's up with this primary school style of friendship that dissolves over petty things ??

She's a friend from secondary school. She's at college at the moment because she re-did her first year. I've done my A-levels but i am retaking one unit to improve my overall grade and she is in her second year doing the same subject. I've helped her out so many times with that subject because it is something i have already done.
Would it kill to help me out on this (one) occasion?

[S<Chowdhury]

A-level student? but what's up with this primary school style of friendship that dissolves over petty things ??

Are you sure thats the main reason why she doesn't want to talk to her? Seems like there is something else that must of upset her? Or maybe I'm just talking rubbish.

[Life_Is_Short]

I can't live with this any longer. I am going to ask her what the problem is.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

sis ive been in the same situation as you before


my friends use to come to my doorstep and i still wouldnt invite em in sometimes coz i knew my dad dont approve of them kinda boys. I even would go half way sometimes n just come back coz i know my dad wudnt like me hanging around wiv them at their places n stuff.


your doing the right thing, obeying parents is priority


may Allah reward you !

[Woodrow]

None of us have any say over how a friend will act towards us. We can only control how we ourselves act as a friend. We never have friends, but we can be a friend.

[Life_Is_Short]

I didn't do anything unfair or wrong on my part. I can't disobey my parents. They've provided me with a good reason.

If she wants to be friends then she is more than welcome because there are many ways i can benefit her. :)

Jazak'Allah for your help and support (It's really appreciated).

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

:sl:

I was talking to my (only) friend today and i asked her to let me borrow her book so that i could revise properly and in return i offered to help her with her exam but i didn't have my previous notes or books to give her. She asked me to come to her house but i'm not allowed and so i told her to come to the nearest library with the book but she went offline. :hmm: I have never met up with any of my friends outside school. I was going to see this friend after three years and many times during school and college days she has invited me to her house, birthdays, ramadhan parties etc but i refused simply because my parents don't like it.

What did i do wrong? :embarrass

do you didn't do wrong. your parents not letting you see her are just worried that you are hanging around bad company. my mum used to be the exact same. i wasn't allowed to see any of my friends after school only during school hours.

[bewildred]

Dear sister,

Throughout the whole of your life, you'll face those "Did-I-do-something-wrong?" situations. We all are very complex beings. We assume more than we know and misunderstandings are more harmful than verbal arguments.

The wisest thing to do, since your friendship is important to you, is to go ahead and ask her what's happening? Start by asking:"Did I do something wrong? If so, I must apologize.......".

But as far as I'm concerned, and that is my motto, "A friendship that ended is a friendship that has never begun."

[mish mash]

4rm my point of view u didnt do anything rong.
maybe u shud take sum1 wiv u 2 her house! :)

[Raaina]

Sister, what exam are you studying for? Maybe I can help you find some material you need. Maybe others can also. :)

[Life_Is_Short]

Sister, what exam are you studying for? Maybe I can help you find some material you need. Maybe others can also. :)

Jazak'Allah for your help but i've done it now. The paper was easy, Alhamdulillah. :D

[Cabdullahi]

^ ok now try to make up with your sister :)

[The Ruler]

If my assumptions are correct, you're likely to move on to higher education soon? If so, you'll meet a wider range of personalities- people who are far more welcoming and more considerate.

If she disregards you, let it be.

[Cabdullahi]

try it one more time and ask her why she disregarded you.....its easy to hate those that disregard you so talk to her and see what she says...she's just perplexed as to why you're not coming to her house.

[skatteress]

i dont think you did anything wrong.. but i think you shpuld talk to her.. at school.. and ask her what you did wrong and say sorry.. this happned to me too.. and i sorted it all ourt alhamidullah.. althouhg it did go on for months.

[Life_Is_Short]

She is pretending like nothing happened.
I can't keep up with the demands of friendship. Especially now that i am on gap year i have nothing to talk about so i don't call. I am not interested in things outside studies so i don't go out. When ever i give advice to this friend, it's not followed. So what's the point of friends who don't share the same interest as you?

[Cabdullahi]

She is pretending like nothing happened.
I can't keep up with the demands of friendship. Especially now that i am on gap year i have nothing to talk about so i don't call. I am not interested in things outside studies so i don't go out. When ever i give advice to this friend, it's not followed. So what's the point of friends who don't share the same interest as you?

is she pretending like nothing has happened because you didn't talk to her and ask her is there something wrong my sister?

[Life_Is_Short]

is she pretending like nothing has happened because you didn't talk to her and ask her is there something wrong my sister?

I didn't want to dispute over a trivial matter.

[Cabdullahi]

I didn't want to dispute over a trivial matter.

and thats where you went wrong imsad

[Life_Is_Short]

and thats where you went wrong imsad

What do you mean? :(

[The Ruler]

I didn't want to dispute over a trivial matter.

If she is of the same sentiment, I see no problem. Moments with her might be awkward, but the level of awkwardness ought to melt away with time.

[Cabdullahi]

just go to her and say in the nicest and politest manner ''what could i do to make you less angry with me'' and change that thing but don't change anything that will anger your parents.

[Life_Is_Short]

Peace is restored between me and my (only) friend. :peace:

Thanx a million for your help and support.

[Cabdullahi]

^ see i told you!!.....its easy to be kind to those who appreciate it but to show true love and kindness to someone who may not appreciate it thats true kindness