/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Love and marriage



Just Curious
01-24-2010, 07:58 AM
A very simple question

If a guy and a girl are in love, or they are simply interested in marrying each other, then what is the Islamic rules for this.

Just to give you an indication of what kind of love, and I use that carefully, these two people are in.. they will never be able to leave each other.

Her family will have no problems, his father on the other hand is very unlikely to accept given the girls parents are divorced, and this is looked at in a bad way.

What are the options for this young couple, who are willing to sacrifice everything, but are fully aware of the importance of parents in Islam.

Needless to say, I am this young boy, and I've made up my mind regardless, as I can't ever be with any other girl, and can never see her with any other man. Of the four things, I can't marry her for her family status or wealth, as her family has a bad status and her wealth is equal to mine. From this family was born an angel, who is religious and absolutely beautiful, the two qualities that I makes me want to make her my wife.

It would be fantastic if you guys could tell me what you know about this particular situation. Thank you
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
CosmicPathos
01-24-2010, 08:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
A very simple question

If a guy and a girl are in love, or they are simply interested in marrying each other, then what is the Islamic rules for this.

Just to give you an indication of what kind of love, and I use that carefully, these two people are in.. they will never be able to leave each other.

Her family will have no problems, his father on the other hand is very unlikely to accept given the girls parents are divorced, and this is looked at in a bad way.

What are the options for this young couple, who are willing to sacrifice everything, but are fully aware of the importance of parents in Islam.

Needless to say, I am this young boy, and I've made up my mind regardless, as I can't ever be with any other girl, and can never see her with any other man. Of the four things, I can't marry her for her family status or wealth, as her family has a bad status and her wealth is equal to mine. From this family was born an angel, who is religious and absolutely beautiful, the two qualities that I makes me want to make her my wife.

It would be fantastic if you guys could tell me what you know about this particular situation. Thank you
I cannot suggest anything except to say that you've made up your mind quite early. No reflective person can say that they cannot live without any other person! Havent you already lived the past of your life without this girl??!!! What makes you think you that you cannot live the remaining life of yours without her?!! Our thinking is like a river, it changes directions till we die. And please dont tell me the cliche statement from bollywood movies that "you are saying all that because you have not fell in love." I did fell in love. With nature. ;D

But best of luck for whatever you decide to pursue.
Reply

Cabdullahi
01-24-2010, 08:08 AM
too much bollywood
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
01-24-2010, 08:10 AM
:sl:
before you decide to marry her, some things need to be taken into account? do you have the means to provide for her? are you ready for marriage (you sound very young-teenager?)

you should speak to your dad and/or get someone else to...try make him come around...this is a silly reason not to marry one off for.

im going to sound like a sour grape, but as i said you sound like a teenager and i cant help but wonder if you are being rash and hasty due to your feelings for her...you should think this out very very carefully, think and analyze where this is going to take you even for the short-run (2-5 years time) speak to those who are elder and can help you make this life-long decision and of course pray istikhara.
you should note that loads of people have fallen in love at such a young age, and likewise these same people ended up marrying someone else only to realise that indeed the one they initially had fallen in love with, isnt the right one.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Just Curious
01-24-2010, 08:12 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
before you decide to marry her, some things need to be taken into account? do you have the means to provide for her? are you ready for marriage (you sound very young-teenager?)

I am 24 years of age, she is 22
Reply

CosmicPathos
01-24-2010, 08:18 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
I am 24 years of age, she is 22
ooh man you sure sounded like someone who is 2 years into puberty. With no offense of course.
Reply

Just Curious
01-24-2010, 08:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
ooh man you sure sounded like someone who is 2 years into puberty. With no offense of course.
It's understandable; I just wanted to re-iterate the main question.. what is the Islamic verdict on this? I do not fear anyone but Allah
Reply

Cabdullahi
01-24-2010, 08:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
ooh man you sure sounded like someone who is 2 years into puberty. With no offense of course.
there isn't one thing in his post that implies to us that he's a small teenager
Reply

CosmicPathos
01-24-2010, 08:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
It's understandable; I just wanted to re-iterate the main question.. what is the Islamic verdict on this? I do not fear anyone but Allah
Fearing Allah (swt) alone is a very good characteristic. You can get the best advise by contacting an educated sheikh. No one on this forum is eligible to provide Islamic solutions to such important issues. Please contact religious authorities in your area. That is my opinion. You also have to meet Islamic requirements for marriage first which as someone mentioned includes your ability to support the wife financially and other areas as well.
Reply

CosmicPathos
01-24-2010, 08:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
there isn't one thing in his post that implies to us that he's a small teenager
you need to read between the lines, dear brother. This post will be deleted for being irrelevant, so why not. :statisfie
Reply

Alpha Dude
01-24-2010, 11:09 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
It's understandable; I just wanted to re-iterate the main question.. what is the Islamic verdict on this? I do not fear anyone but Allah
From what I understand, a man does not need any permission from his own side in order to get married. The girl's wali (male guardian) does need to give permission, however.

Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
Reply

Just Curious
01-24-2010, 11:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
From what I understand, a man does not need any permission from his own side in order to get married. The girl's wali (male guardian) does need to give permission, however.

Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
Thank you, this is all I needed to know
Reply

The Ruler
01-24-2010, 11:35 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
Of course, it would be all the more wiser to convince your father though.
I see. But if the man marries and it angers the father, would it not be sinful? Referring to the hadith similar to: Allah's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father.
Reply

Alpha Dude
01-24-2010, 11:46 AM
There is no sin of marriage if it were to take place without his father's blessing. It would be a valid marriage.

As to the sin of disobeying his father, I don't know.
Reply

The Ruler
01-24-2010, 11:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
There is no sin of marriage if it were to take place without his father's blessing. It would be a valid marriage.
Ah, this I understand.

As to the sin of disobeying his father, I don't know.
... This is what I was questioning. But thank you for your reply nonetheless.
Reply

Ğħαrєєвαħ
01-24-2010, 03:41 PM
Aslaamu alaaykum bro..
Insha`Allaah you got your parents involved..ie a mahram was also involved Insha`Allaah when you met..
Make Ishtikara Prayer Insha`Allaah that will help a lot.
And also make sure when you met, did you meet in a halal way? like i said was a mahram involved, because if your thinking about get married, your intentions should be good to do if for the pleasure of Allaah, that you can provide for her etc..
Here are some Hadith you can keep in mind Insha`Allaah:
Abdullah ibn Umar reported that God's Messenger (PBUH) said:

“Do not marry only for a person's looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Do not marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Every one of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband's property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“You shall not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you shall not have faith until you love one another. Have compassion on those who are on earth, and He Who is in Heaven will have compassion for you.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`O young people! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.'

( Marriage quote from Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half."

( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)


Insha`Allaah i thought there was a need of some Hadiths, although there are plenty of more, Insha`Allaah just to remind you all

Insha`Allaah when you are ready, you can go down and meet the family etc..
sorry if i said anything bad or wrong :(
Wa alaykum Salaam

Ps. i hope i helped in some parts of the question if not sorry
Reply

Just Curious
01-24-2010, 10:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim World 12
Aslaamu alaaykum bro..
Insha`Allaah you got your parents involved..ie a mahram was also involved Insha`Allaah when you met..
Make Ishtikara Prayer Insha`Allaah that will help a lot.
And also make sure when you met, did you meet in a halal way? like i said was a mahram involved, because if your thinking about get married, your intentions should be good to do if for the pleasure of Allaah, that you can provide for her etc..
Here are some Hadith you can keep in mind Insha`Allaah:
Abdullah ibn Umar reported that God's Messenger (PBUH) said:

“Do not marry only for a person's looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Do not marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Every one of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband's property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“You shall not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you shall not have faith until you love one another. Have compassion on those who are on earth, and He Who is in Heaven will have compassion for you.”

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`O young people! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.'

( Marriage quote from Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half."

( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)


Insha`Allaah i thought there was a need of some Hadiths, although there are plenty of more, Insha`Allaah just to remind you all

Insha`Allaah when you are ready, you can go down and meet the family etc..
sorry if i said anything bad or wrong :(
Wa alaykum Salaam

Ps. i hope i helped in some parts of the question if not sorry
SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah... and Insh'Allah
Reply

syilla
01-27-2010, 10:08 AM
salams akhee... any update? :)

Its okay if you don't want to reply...huhu just ignore me huhu
Reply

Just Curious
01-31-2010, 10:05 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
salams akhee... any update? :)

Its okay if you don't want to reply...huhu just ignore me huhu
I'm following my heart. I think I've found a way, but its very difficult, and so if it is the right way and Allah is with me, then everything will be fine

I've dealt with challenges all my life, insh'Allah I will deal with this one too

Please make dua for me, and all Muslims of the world
Reply

Asiyah3
01-31-2010, 11:33 AM
Just one more Hadith :D:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1847) and classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri and by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (624).

Bro I'll also quote this:

It is obvious that you are a stranger (non-mahram) to this girl, and it is not permissible for you to be alone with her, shake hands with her, look at her beauty or talk to her about love and so on. If any of these things have happened in the past, then you must repent to Allaah from that, and you must repent from studying in the mixed environment which is usually not free from haraam things, and has bad effects on both boys and girls.

Source: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/112434
Reply

Darth Ultor
01-31-2010, 11:43 AM
Love is a great thing, but forgive me for sounding superficial, love won't pay the bills. Do you have the means to provide for her? Does she have a job? Not trying to patronize you here.
Reply

Mohamed_Sadiq
02-01-2010, 11:09 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Boaz
Love is a great thing, but forgive me for sounding superficial, love won't pay the bills. Do you have the means to provide for her? Does she have a job? Not trying to patronize you here.

If your in Love the bills and payment is the last thing in your mind lool, also if your in love why would you worry and stress about money, I rather get married even if I was poor rather than losing the love of my life for money!!

Iam not being racist or streotyping you but why are jewish materialistic ? Everytime i notice jewish either worry about money or land and correct me if im wrong
Reply

Darth Ultor
02-01-2010, 12:25 PM
Materialistic? Oh no, this isn't the Jew in me talking and it is not fair of you to call us materialistic. It's not about the money, and if I had a choice between being with the love of my life and being wealthy, I'd take the love of my life. What I was saying was, does he have a job or a way to provide for her? I certainly wouldn't get married at such a young age.
Reply

Just Curious
02-01-2010, 04:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Boaz
Love is a great thing, but forgive me for sounding superficial, love won't pay the bills. Do you have the means to provide for her? Does she have a job? Not trying to patronize you here.
Money is not a problem I can assure you this
Reply

Darth Ultor
02-01-2010, 04:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
Money is not a problem I can assure you this

Well man, I say go for it.
Reply

Italianguy
02-01-2010, 04:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
A very simple question

If a guy and a girl are in love, or they are simply interested in marrying each other, then what is the Islamic rules for this.

Just to give you an indication of what kind of love, and I use that carefully, these two people are in.. they will never be able to leave each other.

Her family will have no problems, his father on the other hand is very unlikely to accept given the girls parents are divorced, and this is looked at in a bad way.

What are the options for this young couple, who are willing to sacrifice everything, but are fully aware of the importance of parents in Islam.

Needless to say, I am this young boy, and I've made up my mind regardless, as I can't ever be with any other girl, and can never see her with any other man. Of the four things, I can't marry her for her family status or wealth, as her family has a bad status and her wealth is equal to mine. From this family was born an angel, who is religious and absolutely beautiful, the two qualities that I makes me want to make her my wife.

It would be fantastic if you guys could tell me what you know about this particular situation. Thank you
Yuo took this straight out of the movie "Jodha Akbar" or "Mohabbatein" didn't you?
Reply

Mohamed_Sadiq
02-01-2010, 06:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Boaz
Materialistic? Oh no, this isn't the Jew in me talking and it is not fair of you to call us materialistic. It's not about the money, and if I had a choice between being with the love of my life and being wealthy, I'd take the love of my life. What I was saying was, does he have a job or a way to provide for her? I certainly wouldn't get married at such a young age.

Oh.well is alright is just that i noticed that jewish people like jobs, houses, lands i mean just look at what they are doing now at Palestine they building houses in a country that they don't own and they killing people for land ? land is nothing. Sorry if I have offended you or your people but iam just saying what i am seeing around the world.
Reply

Darth Ultor
02-01-2010, 06:10 PM
It's alright, apology accepted. And please let's save the politics for another thread. I do like jobs because I value a work ethic. More than that, I value creativity.
Reply

Ansariyah
02-01-2010, 10:47 PM
Why is there so much drama wen people want to get married...Seriously wats wrong wit our Ummah?:exhausted
Reply

Just Curious
02-03-2010, 07:13 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Italianguy
Yuo took this straight out of the movie "Jodha Akbar" or "Mohabbatein" didn't you?
I'm the guy that wants to make bollywood a reality, but I can assure you I don't watch bollywood movies lol
Reply

sadiasalam
02-03-2010, 07:56 AM
Brother, Islam permits you and the girl to get married assuming that she is a muslim too. But obeying your parents is also an important message of Islam. My personal opinion would be that you speak to your parents and if they dont agree at all then you can convince them on taking an Istikhara for marriage. If the girl is the one Allah has chosen for you, you and your parents will get the answer through Istikhara. But its important to remember that once Istikhara is taken, the message you get from Allah is supposed to be followed, that is what we are told.

As far as the intensity of your relationship is concerned, if we keep in mind that Islam does not permit a man and a woman who are not directly related, to mix with each other, such strong feelings wont develop at all. anyhow, now that you do feel so strongly for the girl its advisable to try your best to convince your parents, take Istikhara and then follow what Allah swt will guide you towards.

And one thing you mentioned was that the two of you can not live without each other, brother, its only Allah who knows what is best for you so you should pray and seek His help. Allah knows best.
Reply

Italianguy
02-03-2010, 11:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Just Curious
I'm the guy that wants to make bollywood a reality, but I can assure you I don't watch bollywood movies lol
You want to make bollywood a reality? .....call Yash Raj;D
Reply

waqas maqsood
02-08-2010, 05:26 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Italianguy
You want to make bollywood a reality? .....call Yash Raj;D
lol... Ur right because Steven Spielberg will never buy this story!
Reply

Marjona
02-08-2010, 11:56 AM
Dear Brother

I so understand your situation...to want to marry the one you love...U can love her this feeling is not given to everyone i met ppl in life who say I never loved i never culd feel love...us blessed but one thing make sure from my own life experince tell u this never let this person be ur everything 1 of all Always Allah and then others...bcs when 2 ppl love each other to much they forget ofthe world of everything...we pray and think and rememeber Allah but not with full heart...just be in the way of Allah perform ur prayer of Istikhara and InshAllah everything will be right...will remember u in my prayers inshAllah
Reply

Just Curious
03-08-2010, 05:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Marjona
Dear Brother

I so understand your situation...to want to marry the one you love...U can love her this feeling is not given to everyone i met ppl in life who say I never loved i never culd feel love...us blessed but one thing make sure from my own life experince tell u this never let this person be ur everything 1 of all Always Allah and then others...bcs when 2 ppl love each other to much they forget ofthe world of everything...we pray and think and rememeber Allah but not with full heart...just be in the way of Allah perform ur prayer of Istikhara and InshAllah everything will be right...will remember u in my prayers inshAllah

Thank you akhi
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-14-2011, 01:54 PM
  2. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-11-2010, 11:45 AM
  3. Replies: 48
    Last Post: 04-14-2009, 02:35 PM
  4. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 02-27-2009, 02:14 AM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!