Telling about divorce to family question ?

[AnonymousPoster]

I am faced with the problem of how to tell my family about divorce.

The thought of what they will think comes to my mind.

In our culture our families are very closely knit.

How to deal with this.

Has any one faced this before ?

[AlbanianMuslim]

:sl:

I think you will be surprised at how supportive they will end up being. A close nit family/society/community is like an onion. When you feel away the layers, theres the core. In close nit families, and in this situation the layers are the feelings and attitudes towards divorce, but underneath those feelings and beliefs theres the core which is the love they have for you.

I think you should start with your parents if they are still living, then work your way down with their support. Of course at first they will be surprised, sad, a little angry (usually its not at YOU its at the situation so make sure to know the difference) etc.
But if you truly have a solid reason for why the divorce is happening, the difficult part will be over sooner than you think and then you and they will be able to move on.


I went through something similar. I thought my world was over when it happened but I am okay! Better than ok, I didnt end up spending the rest of my life with a man who has no respect for Islam or women!
Not saying thats your situation, but just giving a little of my scenario.

The first month was the worst and in retrospect it wasnt that bad. My parents, who i thought were going to be angry with me, were extremely supportive of my decision when i outlined the reasons why and gave them the adequate proof for lack of a better word.

The next few months, i STRONGLY recommend should be spent relaxing and healing. Relaxing somewhere where you feel at peace, and healing with the help of the Kuran and the people in your life who have strong iman/deen.
There will be days where you will feel emotional and upset and need to get out of your system how you are feeling. I did it with my mother. When i had to cry and talk and blubber about what happened she listened and supported me.
My dad helped me become closer to Allah swt. He isnt a very emotional person, most men i know arent (not speaking for all!) so his way of helping me was handing me a book called "In The Footsteps of the Prophet" pbuh and I read that and suddenly my problems were NOTHING when i read about what the Prophet pbuh went through.



Telling your family will feel like the hardest part, but in reality the HARD part about it is getting up the nerve to tell them. Once you do you will feel immensely better.

Sadly, divorce is so common today that its no longer a scandal when someone gets one. Its more or less an unfortunate event that people will talk about for a few days and than itll be old news.
**key: dont worry about who is saying what.
the people who care about you will be supportive and respectful
those who dont and chose to talk, they dont matter and to be honest, whenever someone gossips to me about someone else, i usually dont believe a word theyre saying.



Strength! Pray before you telll them, pray for Allah swt's help and guidance. He will support you.

[Snowflake]

:sl: Obviously you're not totally sure about your families reaction, hence why you're asking this question. So it can go either way. I think it's better to prepare yourself for your own reaction to theirs. Your family may well disagree with your choice, what matters is how you react if that happens. No one likes divorce, even if it is necessary sometimes. It can come as a big shock, especially to elders. So if your family do react negatively, just stay calm and patient and eventually they will begin to accept it and even realize that it was for the best.


On the other hand if you are only considering a divorce, then whatever problem has brought you to this decision should be discussed with your family, and advice sought to fix it. if you are still married then don't rush into divorce without giving your marriage everything you've got to save it.


fi aman Allah,


:wa: