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AnonymousPoster
01-29-2010, 01:26 AM
why are people so cruel? even your own family?
i was beaten by my former fiancee so badly i lost consciousness because his girl cousins told me i was mean and i didnt listen to them or respect them (they drink and dress scantily, i dont drink and i dress modestly they were offended when i refused to do the things they do)
he also treated me badly for some time over the smallest things, i tried to endure but my parents saw the bruises and saw the change in my mood

my parents broke it off but a friend sent me pictures someone else showed her of my own cousins FIRST cousins hanging out with his girl cousins who were the reason he beat me and treated me badly throughout our engagement

this hurts so much that they would do that and its humiliating to me, because people will see that, people who dont know he hit me and they will say "oh see they hang with each other but not with her she must have been the wrong one"

worse yet, i dont get calls or anything from my cousins yet they go and party with these girls

i want so badly to have revenge on those girls but i have a conscious...i wish for God to take my pain and humiliation away so i wont be so angry all the time. i dont deserve to be treated this way, i was always so nice to everyone my whole life
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S<Chowdhury
01-29-2010, 01:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
why are people so cruel? even your own family?
i was beaten by my former fiancee so badly i lost consciousness because his girl cousins told me i was mean and i didnt listen to them or respect them (they drink and dress scantily, i dont drink and i dress modestly they were offended when i refused to do the things they do)
he also treated me badly for some time over the smallest things, i tried to endure but my parents saw the bruises and saw the change in my mood

my parents broke it off but a friend sent me pictures someone else showed her of my own cousins FIRST cousins hanging out with his girl cousins who were the reason he beat me and treated me badly throughout our engagement

this hurts so much that they would do that and its humiliating to me, because people will see that, people who dont know he hit me and they will say "oh see they hang with each other but not with her she must have been the wrong one"

worse yet, i dont get calls or anything from my cousins yet they go and party with these girls

i want so badly to have revenge on those girls but i have a conscious...i wish for God to take my pain and humiliation away so i wont be so angry all the time. i dont deserve to be treated this way, i was always so nice to everyone my whole life

imsad I'm so sorry Sister you had to endure such cruelty and yes no one deserves to be treated like that, never is it right for a man to raise a hand to a women and the fact you nearly lost consciousness from him beating you :raging:, i would of pressed for criminal charges atleast.

I don't know what to say about your cousins and his cousins, but i do know that revenge is never the answer, it will only lead to more problems.
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cat eyes
01-29-2010, 01:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
i was beaten by my former fiancee so badly i lost consciousness
okay so you were beaten by somebody who was not even your husband but just a fiance why on earth did you not report this to the police?
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S_87
01-29-2010, 01:19 PM
he beat you because he is a stupud coward. you ar ebetter off without someone like him, think of it as a blessing that he showed his true colours before you got married.
what a ...
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Darth Ultor
01-29-2010, 01:52 PM
This son of a ******* belongs in prison. He'll see what the other inmates think of this. In general, they'd see people like him as the lowest of the low. I say report him to the police.
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Alpha Dude
01-29-2010, 02:18 PM
:sl:
i want so badly to have revenge on those girls but i have a conscious...i wish for God to take my pain and humiliation away so i wont be so angry all the time. i dont deserve to be treated this way, i was always so nice to everyone my whole life
Sister, forget about revenge. This was Allah's way of getting you out of the hard situation you would have been in if you had gotten married to that guy.

There is always a divine wisdom behind hardships. Like sister amani said, now you know his true colours. What kind of a fool beats a girl up like that? You don't need somebody like that to marry. You shouldn't be thinking about revenge, you should be thanking those girls due to which you were able to see what kind of person he really is.

Say your prayers for protection, stay away from that guy completely and those girls and don't seek to mingle with any of them. Just put it all past you. It's over and done with. Don't change your mind about him. May Allah protect you, ameen.
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zakirs
01-29-2010, 08:32 PM
Sister :sl:

I am very sorry for what happened to you :(. You do not deserve what happened to you ( heck no body does).Please have patience.

I suggest if your family is open minded enough you complain to the police about that guy , he had no right to hit you and you shud report it.
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AnonymousPoster
01-29-2010, 09:21 PM
The guy issue was taken care of and its been over a year now. Thanks for the supportive words and yes I am thankful I got out of that in time. He wont be laying a hand on anyone ever again I can promise you that.

However, what do i do about my own cousins hanging out with his cousin?? this particular cousin of his is a girl; I wont even get into how bad this girl is because I dont want to speak ill of someone no matter how much I dislike them. But i will say this, she did influence him into treating me the way he did. She also caused a lot of other issues for me during that time.

The issue is; my OWN family members spend time with her!!! They go out and party with her, take lots of pictures and post them on the internet, they NEVER call or text or email me yet they spend all their free time with a girl they ALL know treated me terribly. imsad I guess there is probably nothing I can do.
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KittenLover
01-29-2010, 11:37 PM
good riddance his type are useless, guaranteed you wouldn't have had a happy marriage with him.

find a man close to the deen who prays, practices the religion and has maturity in handling his affairs. these pussy cats who like to hit women will just bring trouble and don't know how to treat a women. they're still immature little boys.

Ask your cousin's where their loyalty lies, make it know to them you don't approve of them hanging out with his cousin. they might not even know that you disapprove of it. or they could not care what you think.

what are they doing hanging out with girls who dress scantly and go partying, sounds like his cousins are wild and out of control, they must talk loose also, are your cousin's parents ok with their daughters hanging around with scantly dressed ***** who imitate prostitutes in their dress sense?

hmm your cousin's can't be close to the deen to hang around with such women and that's where the problem lies I think, and since they don't even talk to you it'll be hard for you to give them dawah :|

the mind really boggles how muslim men can let their daughters/sisters walk around dressed scantly.
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Ummu Sufyaan
01-30-2010, 01:30 AM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
The guy issue was taken care of and its been over a year now. Thanks for the supportive words and yes I am thankful I got out of that in time. He wont be laying a hand on anyone ever again I can promise you that.

However, what do i do about my own cousins hanging out with his cousin?? this particular cousin of his is a girl; I wont even get into how bad this girl is because I dont want to speak ill of someone no matter how much I dislike them. But i will say this, she did influence him into treating me the way he did. She also caused a lot of other issues for me during that time.

The issue is; my OWN family members spend time with her!!! They go out and party with her, take lots of pictures and post them on the internet, they NEVER call or text or email me yet they spend all their free time with a girl they ALL know treated me terribly. imsad I guess there is probably nothing I can do.
hmm, you cant really control what people do/dont do. so all i'd advise is try your best to keep ties with them even if they hurt you.

i dont really know what to say, they are your family and you have to tough it out. i hope all goes good for you =)
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zakirs
01-31-2010, 12:49 PM
Ignore them. All you can do is gently give them advice to stop haram things.Other than that stay confident of yourselves
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