wa alaykum us-Salaam
i dont think its anything bad for a man to want to marry someone they find attractive. i do find however find it extremely extremely shallow when guys want their wives to look like the women on the catwalks and/or on the movie screens. such men need a good hiding and need to learn how to lower their gazes. badly.
i dont think it really boils down to iman and taqwa, perhaps to en extent. i think largely it has to do with how long you have been married to that person and/or how much you grow to love them. when you love someone, generally their bad qualities are overlooked. not because love is blind, but because you have grown to love and respect them, all these other good qualities about them have been "magnified" and the "little issues" (such as them putting on a little weight, etc) would have disappeared below underneath their "magnified" qualities.
its like a friendship. when you meet someone new you may notice a couple of annoying things about them. but as time goes on and as you get to know them, those annoying things are still there, however all their other good qualities would outweigh these annoying ones, hence making them unnoticeable.
you shouldn't underestimate the power, strength and motivation of a relationship...maybe its because you are still unmarried you dont see it, but (wallahu a3lam) these things will seem extremely minute once you marry, have lived with your companion for many years and get to know them really really well.
The future health risks of obesity, diabetes, etc. don't appeal to me. (I recognize that will open me up to criticism but I am just being truthful) The many I view who provide advice are usually the single Muslims.
bad health isnt meant to be appealing :hmm: its something internal, so how is that a put off? its something you cant even see. i dont understand :hmm:
here (no offence) you are being extremely shallow. you do realize that everyone at some point in their lives are going to contract something "weird"
btw, are you perfect yourself?
and also i dont understand why muslimahs online would be ok with it. what makes you think that :hmm:
i do think that the best thing to do though is to think outside the box by looking into other cultures. everyone has different mindsets and different ways of doing things so something completely existent in one culture, maybe completely absent in another.