Q about Backbiting

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatallahi wa Barakatuhu


If one backbit somebody else, is it necessary to ask that person for forgiveness if they did not know? Or are we supposed to repent without telling the person that they were backbitten?

Jazakum allahu khair

fi aman allah
w'salaam

[syilla]

^^^i was thinking the same think last week...and wanted to post questions here too.

I need some references please.

Thanks for posting this up :)

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/23328/backbiting

[Uthman]

Sheikh Yasir Qadhi was once asked this question and he said that you should praise the person in their absence, in front of the people with whom you backbited them (if that makes sense). I heard Sheikh Abu Abdis-Salaam say the same thing but he added that you could also make Du'a for that person.

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[Beardo]

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatallahi wa Barakatuhu


If one backbit somebody else, is it necessary to ask that person for forgiveness if they did not know? Or are we supposed to repent without telling the person that they were backbitten?

Jazakum allahu khair

fi aman allah
w'salaam

It is Huququl Ibaad. Rights of the Servants of allah, that you go to them and ask for forgiveness. Backbiting is when you say something behind someone's back, so by definition, the person would not know what you are saying.

It's related in Hadith, I believe it's in Sunan Abi Dawud, but correct me if I am mistaken, "Gatherings are with trust."

There are various types of gatherings. Those that were to the public and those that were private. Private would consist of family meetings, etc. You won't ask the newspapers and media to televise the private family meeting.

You are to keep everything that went on in that gathering in private. That means what actions, reactions, what was written, and what was said all must be in private, unless you have EVERYONE'S (not even ONE objection) permission to say what went on behind those closed doors.

Just by even saying "That person came happily" or "that person came reluctantly" is a form of gheebat, because you might be alluding towards something that went on in the gathering or what the gathering content was.

[Asiyah3]

:wa: Wr Wb
I've also heard what bro Uthmaan said. If you backbite a person for instance a week, you have to praise him a week etc.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

Sheikh Yasir Qadhi was once asked this question and he said that you should praise the person in their absence, in front of the people with whom you backbited them (if that makes sense). I heard Sheikh Abu Abdis-Salaam say the same thing but he added that you could also make Du'a for that person.

what if there is nothing good to say about them. really? what if one backbite someone else, repents, and makes the intention of saying good about them, only to realize that there is nothing good to say.

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

It is Huququl Ibaad. Rights of the Servants of allah, that you go to them and ask for forgiveness. .

Is it mentioned in hadith ? If we repent and make dua for the person , will not be that enough ?

Go to a person , admit of my own mistake --it's so hard and embarrsing . It may prevent people to repent to God .


Does Islam encourgae us to disclose my fault if Allah hides it ? If one does not know at all that i said something bad about him /her , then how logical is that i should tell him /her about my sin ?

[Uthman]

:wasalamex

what if there is nothing good to say about them. really? what if one backbite someone else, repents, and makes the intention of saying good about them, only to realize that there is nothing good to say.

Allah knows best Ukhtee. Perhaps it would be sufficient to make Du'a for them but I do not know.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu alaikum

Jazakum Allahu Khair for your replies :D

What if the backbiting was done between two people, not necessarily a group..and both realized their sin of backbiting and decided to repent...if it were a group I could see it being more as a form of gossip especially if word got out to others, but if it were just between two people who regretted their mistake, would it be necessary to admit it to the person that was being backbitten?

fi aman allah
wsalaam

[cat eyes]

people are giving advice with out any evidence to support it. personally i never heard that if you backbite about somebody then you should praise them when there not there?. really it dose not make sense i think you should sincerely repent for what you have done and make a vow that you will try not to do it again then my next advice would be is to approach that person face to face and ask them for forgivness. tell her ''please forgive me if i ever thought any bad thing in my heart about you or said anything with my tongue'' ask her for forgivness that makes more sense.

[Uthman]

:salamext:

people are giving advice with out any evidence to support it. personally i never heard that if you backbite about somebody then you should praise them when there not there?. really it dose not make sense

Sister, I was repeating what I had heard from some of the 'Ulema who I trust (as I'm sure you do as well) such as Sheikh Yasir Qadhi and Sheikh Abu Abdissalaam. If you said something bad about a person, one way of ensuring that you fulfil the conditions of tawbah is to say something good about them as well.

But now that you mentioned it, Sheikh Yasir did also mention that you could ask for their forgiveness in general terms just like you said:

''please forgive me if i ever thought any bad thing in my heart about you or said anything with my tongue''