Chaste - Unchaste

[Insecured soul]

salaam alaikum

What are the ill effects of being unchaste and benefits of being chaste.
if someone can give me detailed answer

jazak allah

[heavenlyspot]

Salaam Alaikum

By being chaste, do you mean morally pure?

[abu_musab461]

protecting chastity and keeping away from zina and everything that leads to it

[Dagless]

In most horror films the virgin girl always survives, whilst her unchaste friends perish in horrible ways. So yeah if you ever find yourself in a horror film type situation; chances are you'll be ok ;)

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[SMA89]

Chaste: No Pleasure but also No STDs

Unchaste: Pleasure but STDs (keep in mind islam forbids Sex before Marriage because of this) and also chance of pregnancy

[SMA89]

I dont have an edit button but I meant to say that ^^^ STD is ONE of the reasons why Islam doesnt allow sex before marriage.

[Insecured soul]

Being chaste means not committing zina before marriage and not committing adultery after marriage, where does STD comes into picture?

[SMA89]

Being chaste means not committing zina before marriage and not committing adultery after marriage, where does STD comes into picture?

You probably read my post wrong. I said a benefit of being chaste means you wont have the possibility of getting STDs.

[Ramadhan]

You probably read my post wrong. I said a benefit of being chaste means you wont have the possibility of getting STDs.

This is not totally accurate, though. A person may still get STDs while being chaste if their partner is not. Hence the importance of chaste as individual/everyone absolute obligation. And this is one reason why the chaste issue is stressed in theb Qur'an many times.

I am sure there are boundless "hikmah" and blessings for being chaste that we do not really know about, but for one thing, if you are strive to be chaste then you should be able to control your "nafs", and if you are able to control your "nafs" you would achieve great things not possible if you surrender to your nafs.

[Grofica]

First i would like i say i fully support being chaste prior to marriage... Both the Koran and the Bible say there should be no sex before marriage. but This answer is based on the fact that the OP asked the question... Most people are answering from a relgious angle so here is a real world angle to go along with everyone elses answers...



Unintended pregancy is big reason. If (well the girl anyway) ends up pregnant then the rest of her life is altered in an unchangable way. and for the rest of her life she is obligated to take care of the child.

If the father is mentioned on the birth certificate then (at least in the US) it is impossible to place the child up for adoption or even let the father adopt the child and have sole custody and responsbility. So even if (the woman) doesnt want kids then she has no option and the state wont let her forfit her rights as a parent.

and the same could be said for the father if he doesnt want kids he has no choice its close to impossible to get the courts to remove parental rights. other then in adoption cases... or if one parent gets remarried and that spouse wants to adopt.

and for some people who want kids just not right now... being chaste is STILL a more viable option because birth control is never 100% i forget the exact number but a large number of pregnancies occure even with "protection"

and Doctors will NOT preform a tubal on a woman who has not given birth at least once and even then only under certain cercumstances they wont preform one on someone under a certain age or with less then two kids.

With all the trouble that goes along with a few moments of fleeting passion its not worth it...

[Grofica]

This is not totally accurate, though. A person may still get STDs while being chaste if their partner is not.

actually there are about half a dozen that you can get from a toilet seat, about a hand full that you can get from just skin to skin contact

then there are the "fluid" STD's that occur from fluid exchanged such as blood... needles are believe it or not the cause of a lot of these...

Hep C and Aids/HIV being a prime example if i remember right Hep c can also be transmitted through uhmmm well you know...

and then the rest are transmitted only from "intimate contact"

[Malaikah]

I'm pretty sure the stuff about the toilet seat is fake.

[cat eyes]

:sl:
I Believe you should be a virgin before you marry but the way i look at it is i do not expect anybody to be pure to marry them because we are all human and we all make mistakes especially when we are young and we were ignorant of our religion due to maybe the parents not practicing so i mean there's so many things and i believe its important to never judge from outside of the window because you never know what struggles and trials that person had

theres no ill effects of being unchaste as long as you never caught any serious disease

[SMA89]

I'm pretty sure the stuff about the toilet seat is fake.

Yea you cant really get any STDs from toilet seats because most of the viruses cant survive outside of the human body but you can still get crabs & scabies.

[Sampharo]

Well STD's are just that: transmitted "Sexually". So toilet and blood stuff is an unrelated matter. I think this directional drift though was because of your post SMA89 in that you suggested it being one of the reasons why fornication out of wedlock is forbidden.

First of all we need to get the principal out of the way: muslims (humans for that matter) should not try to guess reasons behind God's wisdom, ordnances, and rulings. It has shown over time that it is many times wrong, and in other cases even if it is clear, many get the audacity of not biding by rulings or avoiding forbidden matters when they believe they know the reasons behind it, so they think that if they can avoid the harm in it, it is no longer forbidden. Case in point there was a wacko headcase that came up with the "opinion" that zina is not really zina and is just unlawful touching if you do it with a condom since the skins don't actually touch and you won't risk pregnancy or exchange of STD!!!

Now with that out of the way, from the Sunnah the strongest basis for chastity were relayed as two:
1- Guardianship of geneology and blood relations with all what comes with it of rights and forbiddences: Al-Ansab wal-'AAraq are an important part of a decent community, and the knowledge of each person's parents maintains their rights and unity to each other. Children are born to married parents that are ready to encapsulate them and support them, and are provided loving unified homes. Otherwise the "accidents" that result in an exchange of accusations and renegging on responsibility by denying lineage, resulting in lost generations and neglected or killed children. Also every one knows their real parents and relatives, and sibling-marriage by mistake doesn't happen while matters of inheritence and "mahram" and such are all known and maintained. It's the proper unit that develops a society and moves it forward generation after generation.

2- Natural basis of "coupling": "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [30:21] It's pretty obvious that relations outside marriage to someone other than the spouse is a matter that devastates the relationship. If it happens before marriage it still casts shadows and problems upon future arrangements, with the experiences and intimate emotions shared with someone other than the future spouse will create an unwanted parrallel upon the union. For example imagine a man, who was unchaste before marriage, finds that his newly wed wife is not as "experienced" or adventurous, and therefore starts yearning to what experienced before and shuns his wife through no fault of hers, or even worse decides to go after more illicit relations.

STD was not a known matter at the time, but there is a hadith for the prophet -s.a.a.w.- "Every nation in which abominations become rampant and public, will have diseases and ailments spreading amongst them that were not in their predecessors" Sonan Ibn Majah

May God guard us against the abominations as well as the disease.

[Insecured soul]

Thank u all for replying, i personally feel there is a lot of hikmah behind being chaste.
may allah help to keep us away from evil things

[syilla]

^^^ of course there are alot of hikmah... but hopefully we will try not to look down to those who is not especially to those who are striving hard to be a better muslim. After all we don't really been in their situation or been tested the way they are been tested. :)

[Insecured soul]

^^^ of course there are alot of hikmah... but hopefully we will try not to look down to those who is not especially to those who are striving hard to be a better muslim. After all we don't really been in their situation or been tested the way they are been tested. :)

hmm.. well we should be forgiving and not despising to those who committed sins and our muslim sisters have to abstain and stay away from such sins only for a number of years and when they are around 20-22 yrs old they can get married. its easy there are so many brothers around.

but i guess these days women look for a lot things in a man ...right? ;)


salaam alaikum

[AlbanianMuslim]

I love this forum. So many interesting things to discuss.

I believe in being chaste before marriage for oh so many reasons. Virginity is self respect in my opinion. It is a gift to ones self to be able to go into a marriage pure and free of any shame or guilt or sadness at having been tossed around by this man or that one.
As many already know from a previous thread or two, I was once engaged. My ex fiance who had once claimed to be religious in fact came out to be the latter. When I went to visit his family with my father, I had gone on a shopping trip with him and his sister. At some point his sister decided she was going to take the bus home without telling me, so I was alone with him and he was going to drive us back to the house. He apparently thought I had no clue where anything was in that country and when he started driving opposite from his house I asked him where he was going, he slipped that he was taking me to a hotel.

Let me tell you, I didnt just freak out. I went insane. I demanded he stop the car. He didnt so I opened the door and screamed that I was going to jump out of the car because Id rather die than let him touch me. He had to slow down because traffic stopped so I took that moment and jumped out of the car. He followed me a long while with his car begging me to get back in. I walked to the nearest building I recognized, called my father and he came to pick me up.
One of the many reasons that imbecile is my ex now.

Even if he had been Mr.Perfect, and our engagement had still not worked out, I can still be comfortable about marrying someone else because I remained chaste. Ladies, even if you are head over heels in love, do not disrespect yourself or your family by committing something like that. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. Be proud to be a muslimah and to be pure.

As my dear grandmother used to always say, girls are like mirrors, once shattered they can never be whole again.

[aadil77]

I love this forum. So many interesting things to discuss.

I believe in being chaste before marriage for oh so many reasons. Virginity is self respect in my opinion. It is a gift to ones self to be able to go into a marriage pure and free of any shame or guilt or sadness at having been tossed around by this man or that one.
As many already know from a previous thread or two, I was once engaged. My ex fiance who had once claimed to be religious in fact came out to be the latter. When I went to visit his family with my father, I had gone on a shopping trip with him and his sister. At some point his sister decided she was going to take the bus home without telling me, so I was alone with him and he was going to drive us back to the house. He apparently thought I had no clue where anything was in that country and when he started driving opposite from his house I asked him where he was going, he slipped that he was taking me to a hotel.

Let me tell you, I didnt just freak out. I went insane. I demanded he stop the car. He didnt so I opened the door and screamed that I was going to jump out of the car because Id rather die than let him touch me. He had to slow down because traffic stopped so I took that moment and jumped out of the car. He followed me a long while with his car begging me to get back in. I walked to the nearest building I recognized, called my father and he came to pick me up.
One of the many reasons that imbecile is my ex now.

Even if he had been Mr.Perfect, and our engagement had still not worked out, I can still be comfortable about marrying someone else because I remained chaste. Ladies, even if you are head over heels in love, do not disrespect yourself or your family by committing something like that. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. Be proud to be a muslimah and to be pure.

As my dear grandmother used to always say, girls are like mirrors, once shattered they can never be whole again.

bloody hell, one of the reasons you should have a mahram around at these kind of meetings

[Asiyah3]

I love this forum. So many interesting things to discuss.

I believe in being chaste before marriage for oh so many reasons. Virginity is self respect in my opinion. It is a gift to ones self to be able to go into a marriage pure and free of any shame or guilt or sadness at having been tossed around by this man or that one.
As many already know from a previous thread or two, I was once engaged. My ex fiance who had once claimed to be religious in fact came out to be the latter. When I went to visit his family with my father, I had gone on a shopping trip with him and his sister. At some point his sister decided she was going to take the bus home without telling me, so I was alone with him and he was going to drive us back to the house. He apparently thought I had no clue where anything was in that country and when he started driving opposite from his house I asked him where he was going, he slipped that he was taking me to a hotel.

Let me tell you, I didnt just freak out. I went insane. I demanded he stop the car. He didnt so I opened the door and screamed that I was going to jump out of the car because Id rather die than let him touch me. He had to slow down because traffic stopped so I took that moment and jumped out of the car. He followed me a long while with his car begging me to get back in. I walked to the nearest building I recognized, called my father and he came to pick me up.
One of the many reasons that imbecile is my ex now.

Even if he had been Mr.Perfect, and our engagement had still not worked out, I can still be comfortable about marrying someone else because I remained chaste. Ladies, even if you are head over heels in love, do not disrespect yourself or your family by committing something like that. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. Be proud to be a muslimah and to be pure.

As my dear grandmother used to always say, girls are like mirrors, once shattered they can never be whole again.

SubhaanAllah :S So many things to learn from this story.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^ Yes a LOT!

Subhaan`Allaah

[Insecured soul]

SubhaanAllah :S So many things to learn from this story.

So it can be seen whatever laws we have in islam is for our own benefit to save us from lewdness and treachery

May allah forgive nowadays a couple enjoys everything before marriage which is haraam and as soon as they get into marriage which is halaal then they find everything boring

the brain have gone upside down isnt it?

[tigerkhan]

so i mean there's so many things and i believe its important to never judge from outside of the window because you never know what struggles and trials that person had

i want to say few lines on this topic but these above lines stop me...
yes u cant say about any persons chastity...only he/she knows himself....in my teen i was free style person but only i know i never did bad.....bcz i never want that to impure any girl by touching her....even many girls offered me such that time....and will u blv i say them "i want that on my marrige i can say my wife... u r the first girl in the world to whom i am touching...none b4 u and not after u insh" lol.......
so u think how much i am touchy/crazy in this sense..... to me the world most precious thing is chastity....i love pure and dedicated ppl....but i agree no1 can predict about anyone1 else (as quoted above)....i see many ppl with beard but staring at women and many girls with hijab but no haya in eyes....so its diificult to define parameters for chastity but surely i love it and i am alive for this....

[Asiyah3]

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