And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife
and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious,
fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female
slaves).
quran 24:32
Prophet (saw) said 'i am the best amongst you and i am the best to my wife.'
"The most perfect of the believers is the best of you in character,
and the best of you are those among you who are best to
their wives."
AsalamuAlikum,
Please share this email with all brothers (and sisters as many are
unaware of how they should be treated), especially those who are
married or intending to marry. There are many brothers who treat their
wives worse than they would treat a servant, by oppressing them,
abusing them both mentally and physically, and in general treating
them in the most despicable manner. This is against the teachings of
Islam, against the laws set by Allah (swt) and they will be held
accountable on the day of judgments for their actions..
The 60 advice below are from the sunnah and continually reiterates
that the wife should be treated like a fragile vessel. Please read
this carefully and incorporate into your marriage and insha'Allah
there will be great blessings in your life and the Mercy of Allah
(swt) will be upon you.
60 WAYS TO KEEP THE LOVE OF YOUR WIFE. GAURANTEED!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOlqB...eature=related
1.Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE
2. When you go home say 'Assalmualikum.' It kicks the shaitaan out of your home!
3. Prophet (saw) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to
take care of this vessel that’s fragile. Remember that there is
goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.
4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment.
NOT IN PUBLIC as it’s a type of slandering.
5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED
6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.
7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet saw said if
your angry, sit down, if you’re sitting, then lie down. Follow the
sunnah!
8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!
9. Don’t be rigid. It will break you. Prophet (saw) said 'I am the
best amongst you and I am the best to my wife'. Being rigid and harsh
will not bring you close to Allah and neither does it make you more of
a man.
10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER
11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a
marriage. Al zawai said 'When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He
will leave them to argue amongst themselves'.
12. Prophet (saw) said to call your wives with the best name, any name
she loves to hear. Prophet (saw) called Aisha 'ya Aish' as an
endearment.
13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring
her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.
14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet (saw) said the tongue will throw
people in the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!
15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt)
will put barakh in your marriage.
16. TELL her you appreciate her SHOW her you appreciate her.
17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dad etc.
18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.
19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realise that she is
wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.
20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet
(saw) said gifts increases love.
21.. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with
something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!
22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to
think good of people. Think good of your spouse.
23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of
her small mistakes. It was a practise of Ali (RA). It’s like putting a
hole in your memory. Don’t save it in your memory!
24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or
when she is on her monthly period.
25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.
26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking
after your children, she is much more than you, she is the leader at
home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your
successes.
27.. Don't put your friends above your wife.
28. Help your wife at home.. Prophet (saw) used to help his wives at
home and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.
29. Help her respect your parents, you can’t force her to love them,
but she can be helped to gradually love them.
30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.
31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love and protect it.
32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It’s not
your business. The past is for Allah (swt).
33. Don't try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing
something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are
the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the
provider. It’s also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)
34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and
wife are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as
a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the
shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded.
Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the
devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i
have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man
divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best
job.
35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet (saw) taught us
this. It’s a blessing. The food doesn’t just go to her stomach, but
straight to her heart. It increases the love and mercy between you.
36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She
is like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human
devils and ****aan.
37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. IT’S A CHARITY.
38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem Or if there
is small thing she didn't like and you keep repeating them anyway, it
will create a wall between you. Don’t ignore them as it can become
big.
39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw)
'if you were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.'
It confirms prophet (saw) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.
40. Respect her thinking. It’s strength for you. Show you like her
thoughts and suggestions.
41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find
success within as her success is your success.
42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet
(saw) said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated
tenderly. Sometime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and
appreciate that feeling.
43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes
them appear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man
and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).
44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks
great, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.
45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.
46. Let her know you are travelling. Don't tell her out of the blue as
it’s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming
back also
47. Don't leave the house as soon as trouble brews.
48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy and
secrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a
serious hole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is
against leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and
pick and choose.
49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or
umrah together. It increases and strengthens the love when you help
each other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or
go to a dars together etc.
50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your
heart and engraved in your conscious.
51. Allah( swt) said 'live with your wives in kindness.' Treat them
with kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness
treat her with goodness and fairness.
52. Prophet (saw) showed that there is a messenger at the time of
intimacy which is foreplay. Don’t jump on your wife like an animal!
53. When you have a dispute with your wife don’t tell everyone. It’s
like leaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share
your problems and disputes with.
54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of
your wife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that
you love her.
55. Don’t think you are always right. No matter how good you are you
have shortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect
in character was prophet (saw). Get rid of this disease.
56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.
57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong
as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet (saw) said that your wife is a
trust in your hand.
58. Remember you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.
59. Accept her as she is. Prophet (saw) said that women are created
from the rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will
break her (divorce). Prophet (saw) said that you may dislike one habit
in her but you will like another manner in her so accept her as she
is.
60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors
your intention and your heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among
His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that
you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and
mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
May Allah (swt) fill your homes and heart with tranquillity, love and
Mercy. AMEEN