format_quote Originally Posted by
AnonymousGender
:sl:
Im asking some advice for a friend who is marrying a man that she was arranged with years ago. His family is muslim and one of his sisters is covered so they are not completely in the dark but he isnt very pious as in he doesnt pray 5 times a day. However, her marriage to him is inevitable (two weeks away). What can she do to make it better? Is there ways for her to encourage him to be more religious without seeming bossy or rude?
Please any advice would be welcomed but please no advice on her leaving him because for sure there is no chance of her being able to break it off for many reasons I wont name.
Also, she would like to know if her husband not being pious enough is going to hurt her in the eyes of God even if she herself is pious.
:wa:
Islam is following the 5 pillars, the teachings of our Rasoul(SAW) and The Qu'ran, of course.
It is also "Akhlaaq" (good morals, decency, fairness, good heart and respectable interactions with others.
A man can pray 5 times and day yet lie, cheat, backbite, etc. We are in
NO position to judge him, nor judge a man who is opposite to him (i.e. misses prayers, yet respects his parents, is fair and just, etc). Surely the five pillars come first, but how can they be accepted without good Akhlaaq?
I understand your situation very well, and my advice to your friend would be for her to make it clear to her future husband that Islam is the foundation of her life.
She should ask him what interests him in Islam the most, and start with that; she should not only tell him the rulings, but why the rulings are there, and tell him of the numerous benefits of salah, zakaat,etc... whether the benefits be in this life or the next.
As mentioned previously, lectures, videos, conferences, books, halaqaat (segregated gatherings where muslims talk about Islam and read Qu'ran) can all be very helpful. Good company and friends make a world of difference; therefore, if he has religious friends who attend these kinds of event, encourage him to go with them. If he doesn't, then surely she has a brother, a cousin or a friend's brother whom he could get acquainted with and go to the halaqa with.
I will leave you with a small reminder, that when a Muslim teaches another a good deed, (example, teaching him an ayah) he will get hassanats every time this person reads that ayah. Even if the teacher dies, and the person who has been thought recites the ayah, the teacher will continue to get hassanats.
It is one of the 3 ways to keep getting hassanats after you die. So if her future husband learns countless positive actions from her, she will insh'Allah get a numerous amount of hassanats.
As for the source, this is widely known and I have heard is at halaqaat, I won't go in depth since this thread is for advice and not religious teachings. if anyone has the exact source, feel free to share. Jazak'Allah kheir.
Best of Luck,
:sl: