I've been betrayed

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
do your utmost best to move on. forget her, cut her out of your life otherwise you'll just be living on false hope and thus setting yourself up to get hurt.

dont say you wont be happy again, wasnt it Allah that made you happy through her? whose to say that He cant give you someone in return that will make you just as happy or even more happy?

you probably feel helpless that you cant move on since (as far as it sounds) she just broke up with you.

repent from your sins if they were a result from being with her.

[Abdul Qadir]

Its best we muslims stay out of this love game...we can like someone, nothing wrong with that...but to keep in touch with the person without parents knowledge...these are all shaitan's traps...he is playing with ur morale...indeed, the best woman is the woman who is religious and god fearing...from what u have said, this individual is hardly in that brackets...so, rejoice..may Allah find you the best partner..

[CosmicPathos]

Can a human love someone from opposite gender that much especially if there is no blood relation? beats me. These Hindi movies have done too much damage.

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Danah]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

Its very obvious that this just happened to you very recently, that's why you are still very emotional about it. First, give it sometime till you feel better and think wisely about all what happened.

After you get a good break think about it deeply. Ask yourself what kind of relationship you had with this girl? was it kind of engagement where she changed her mind about marrying you or something?
or was it a friendship between you and her? If its the second, then you have to reconsider thinking about that relation. Maybe that was a blessing from Allah that made her "betrayed" you so you will cut your relation with her and starting your life again correctly. Dont say that you won't be happy again, you are very moved by what happened thats why you feel that way...as I said, give it sometimes and think about it wisely not emotionally.

Make duaa to Allah sincerely that he will grant you a better girl who won't be just a friend but a kind, caring wife to you.

[cat eyes]

Can a human love someone from opposite gender that much especially if there is no blood relation? beats me. These Hindi movies have done too much damage.

lol so true. i think you have to be really strong not to be influenced by them.. theres more influence in them then hollywood i think :hmm:

[Getoffmyback]

Sorry to tell you but the pain will stay untill time wash it off. So don't fight it and don't let your manhood drags you down . You and only you knows the reasons of this betrayl and the nature of your relation . So if you want to add more details to your post it will be better for people here to help.


Some people break up when they see that their relation is a waste of time or there won't be a future for it. Many reasons . So do you know whats wrong in it?

[cat eyes]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

:sl:
When im feeling extremely depressed i read the Holy Qur'an it helps alot because it helps one to think why we are really on this earth for so our minds suddenly forget what things we are going through because we ponder over this very thing and we reflect on everything we did wrong and how we can become better and not fall in to these traps by shayytan. :)

You did one mistake brother to fall in love before marriage.. of course the love part is not the mistake:) but falling in head over heels in love with the wrong girl..

this is why its important when one is considering marriage they should meet and get to know each other the halal way with a wali present because all this technology people are using these days such as texting, emailing... calling each other..and meeting alone.. these are all the shayytans traps to set one up for haraam things and false hope. :)

give thanks to Allah that this ''relationship'' did not land you in more serious circumstances. :)

And keep in mind there is other girls out there far better who will not set you up on false hope and actually keep there promises. :)
:wa:

[G3A3]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

Asslamo Allaikum Brother, The feelings and emotions which you are experiencing are very real and strong but all Praise be to Allah (SWT) they will get weaker and weaker and weaker with time. Right now, it must feel like that your entire world is falling apart and I understand that. The method which you should adopt is to turn to Allah (SWT) in your hour of need for comfort and adopt a schedule which will drive you out of your situation. What do I mean by that? Basically you need to adopt a program (a timetable, a schedule) which will ensure that you are always busy in something and your mind is occupied and reduce your lonely (or idle) time to as much as possible. The ideal solution is for you to engage in additional acts of worship as much as you can but it isn’t realistic because a person cannot go from reading no or little Qur’aan to reading hours on end and sustain it! Any program which you adopt MUST have two basic underpinnings which are: a) Increase or become regular in your prayers and recitation of the Qur’aan and other acts of worship as much as you can b) Ensure that activities contained in your program are Halal (i.e. permissible) What do you like doing? 1) If are into fitness and Sports then join a Gym or a Martial Arts club and devote hours to your practise 2) If you are into reading then switch to reading interesting Islamic works, there are Alhmdolillah works available in a variety of topics in many languages 3) If you are into socialising then increase the frequency of your visits to your local Masjid and become more friendly 4) If you are into spending time online then adopt a good “Islamic” forum and stick to it. This is a dangerous option because you could end up visiting the wrong places on the net In Summary, it is not possible for a human mind NOT to think of something, all you can really do is to substitute and eventually the longing and the hurt will subside. You really need to look into getting fitter because release of endorphins will also help you get over her. So don’t try to get over her because its harder, try to get into other things and try to FILL THE SLOT (VACUUM) left by her.

[Life_Is_Short]

You should have not been in a relationship (outside marriage) in the first place.

Stand in front of a lorry and you're sure to get run over.

Sorry to be harsh but this is why Islam sets order and rule which should be followed and in some people case without question.

[SMA89]

It will be gone in a year or 2. I was in the same experience and I can tell you that this experience will make you more mature and turn you into a man. The adversity that we face during our lifetime actually makes us stronger as a person.

My recommendations:

- Go out with friends and family as much as you can to speed up your process of letting her go.

- Throw away or Delete ANYTHING that reminds you of her.

- Understand that there are billions of nice & beautiful women out there (Enough Fish in the Sea)

- If you are feeling sad, watch movies that will make you laugh (comedy).

-Do something that you love to do and pursue it.

- If you have emotions of anger, try to exercise and lift weights (this is what I do so that I wont release my anger to people)

- If she trys to get back to you, DO NOT GIVE HER A SECOND CHANCE. If they can hurt you once then they can do it a second time. (I really dont know exactly what happened between you 2 but if it was small then maybe a 2nd chance is acceptable)

- Live Life

- Success is the best revenge in my opinion. (Women will try to make you feel bad after they leave you. Well some, in my experience she
tried to pull me down because she saw me succeeding in life without her.)

- Manage your emotions

Thats all I can think of right now but I will post more once I can remember more things that I did to overcome it.

[waqas maqsood]

Salam,

Dude this is an islamic forum, not a citizen bureau advice... Well it is in some ways... lol

Get a grip of urself...

If you're in the UK, start your Asr Salah and make dua... Inshallah u'll be fine...

Keep yourself busy and Inshallah u'l look back at this time and you'll laugh!

[YusufNoor]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

:sl:

can you ship yourself to me by post so i can slap the daylights out of you?

seriously, how old are you? do you think that you even have a clue what love might even be?

lonely? well, get your arse over to the Masjid! pray as many of your Fard prayers there as you can. you will meet, In Sha'a Allah, many, many delightful brothers you can teach you your Din and when you are ready, perhaps introduce you to a sister.

pain, pain? you only think that it is pain. your embarrassment level is probably higher than your "pain" level. go slam your hand in the car door, i'm sure THAT will hurt!

I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again

now you REALLY sound like a girl! SubhanAllah! go repent to Allah for being in a haram relationship. He WILL forgive you, be happy about THAT!

What should I do to get myself out of this grief

1) become a practicing Muslim

2) grow up

3) act like a man

you know, years and years from now you will look back and think:

a) Alhumdulillah that i never married that girl

and

b) wow, i was never that much of a p*ssy, was i?

seriously bro, i'm not saying that it is not possible for a woman to break your heart. i'm saying that if they do, then SO WHAT! because:

1) Allah decreed it

and

2) there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS someone better out there. you just won't go find them unless you first lose the 1st one.

so Allah Subhannahu wa Ta' Aala has done you an immense favor.

REJOICE!

and say Alhumdulillah!

:wa:

[waqas maqsood]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl i loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently i don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad and i can't even do anything about it, i feel so helpless. I feel like i'll never be happy again. What should i do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

perfect bollywood plot!

[Dagless]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

If she betrayed you then she obviously didn't love you. Don't worry about it, I know it hurts but you're better off without her than with her. You can't trust people like that again.
As has been mentioned earlier; don't dwell on her, delete everything to do with her and don't talk to her again.
If you ever feel down just remind yourself that this girl wasn't good for and you'll find someone better... because even though you can't see it now that is the honest truth.

[Islam_sister]

Dang I am sorry to hear,

Really, everyone in their life time has been through something like this and some people learn the hardway and some people just break ties with the person they love for the sake of Allah. Islamically one should not be dating because there is no such thing as dating in Islam its either you marry the person or you don't and find someone whom you will love soley for the sake of Allah and marry him/her. When it comes to love, ive been reading something on www.islamqa.com about LOVE!

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/129):
Love is a psychological sickness, and if it grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain, which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and so on. End quote.

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/132):
Loving a non-mahram woman leads to many negative consequences, the full extent of which is known only to the Lord of people. It is a sickness that affects the religious commitment of the sufferer, then it may also affect his mind and body. End quote.

So basically if one loves someone it effects them a great deal. And im not saying your going to kill yourself because you lost your lost one, autho billah, but there have been many cases where people have took their lives due to loving someone. SubhanAllah that is wrong and again its when one "LOVES" a person dearly is when some people react like this. And you say that you will never feel or find happiness again?..

Im telling you once you have the memberance of Allah and pray your salaah and surround yourself with people that have a consistant rememberance of Allah and do things soley for the sake of Allah you will most definately feel happiness and content in your heart because once you surround yourself with people like this everything will feel easy cause your doing something for the sake of Allah i.e. reading Quran when you read quran you will feel tranquility, peace etc... by you doing that your remembering Allah. Also this is not an adivce for you but for me aswell and many others who is reading this we all should Always keep up on our dhikr etc.. so that our hearts will be filled with the rememberance of Allah and not loving someone who is not khayr for us.. In my opinion relgardless if the person you loved is muslim or not there is no benefit your getting out of dating a person you will just commit sin cause if a men and a women is put together their 3rd party is shaytan so inshaAllah we all as muslims should stay away from something like this and also stay away from this "DATING" thing.


Turn to Allah and ask for forgivness as Allah is the merciful oft-forgiving.
Anything that I said was bad is from the Shaytan and myself and if anything good i said was from Allah..

May Allah forgive us for the sins that we have commited, and May he keep us guided on the path of Al-Islam.Ameen InshaAllah we should keep Allah in rememberance at all times.


The Link(s) to where i got my information from
LOVE..
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/82941/Love

[S<Chowdhury]

:sl:
I've been betrayed. The girl I loved the most in my lifetime betrayed me. She kept saying all the time that she loved me too but apparently I don't think that's true. She keeps hurting me. I've never felt this lonely in my life. I'm broken. I'm going through torture. I'm in extreme pain.imsad And I can't even do anything about it, I feel so helpless. I feel like I'll never be happy again. What should I do to get myself out of this grief. Please tell me. :cry::cry::cry:imsadimsadimsadimsad

:sl: Brother hope your well, so sorry to hear that you've been hurt like this. No one is experienced or good at getting over things like this but stay strong it'll fade for sure....things you can do

1)Get Out of the House/Be Proactive

The worst thing you can do at this point is to stay inside and reminisce over your old relationship. You need to interact with your friends and family no matter how hard it might be to visualize talking with other people. If not going out try to occupy your time doing something pro-active like sister cat eyes suggested read the Holy Qur'an, go mosque.....

2) Don't Punish Yourself: Too many people torture themselves after a break up by listening to sad songs or browsing through old pictures....bad idea Bro

3) Set New Goals: focus on your personal aspirations. Career ambitions, fitness goals etc.. Set incremental goals that will allow you to see progress as work towards the finish line. Each achievement will instill a new level of confidence in you.

4) You probably know this but Don't get in contact with her ever again let her go, your better of without her.

Bro i know its easier said then done but I'm still gonna say it Suck it up and just move on !!!!..... seriously

[M..x]

Dayyyyymmm!!!!! Wth is up with some of these comments? Not everyone is so strong-minded and praticing as some of tha members on this forum, so no need to belittle people. Why be so abrupt and rude?! Some deal with loss or betrayal or whatever in a harder way than others may, how du you know of what tha psychological impact on someone?!?!?!?!?!? So if your guna advise them.. Don't go hurling abuse and insult them at the same time. Moreover if your not guna contribute something of any value. Just don't bother commenting at all. People come on advice here, not to have themselves being compared to Bollywood dramas. That's pathetik and offensive. If anything. Tha people posting such comments need to mature up. Raah. Find stuff like this despicable man. KMT

[Asiyah3]

:wa:
I don't really know what to say bro... I'm sorry to hear that imsad

Some food for thought:
1) Turn to Allah
2) If this was a result of disobeying Allah and his messenger SAAS, repent
3) Think about your life direction

May Allaah (swt) grant you patience.

[waqas maqsood]

Dayyyyymmm!!!!! Wth is up with some of these comments? Not everyone is so strong-minded and praticing as some of tha members on this forum, so no need to belittle people. Why be so abrupt and rude?! Some deal with loss or betrayal or whatever in a harder way than others may, how du you know of what tha psychological impact on someone?!?!?!?!?!? So if your guna advise them.. Don't go hurling abuse and insult them at the same time. Moreover if your not guna contribute something of any value. Just don't bother commenting at all. People come on advice here, not to have themselves being compared to Bollywood dramas. That's pathetik and offensive. If anything. Tha people posting such comments need to mature up. Raah. Find stuff like this despicable man. KMT

TOTALLY RIGHT! Guys can be sensitive too!

One thing I don't understand, yes, some users were a little strong-minded... But no one was rude...

[AnonymousPoster]

Thanks everybody. I know some advice on this forum was very hard and right on the face but I don't mind. I'm gonna need everything that there is. But definitely I'd like to comment on the Bollywood/Hindi movies thing. Brother/Sister, none of those movies are so influential that they can affect your life in a major way. Love is a very strong characteristic. If you think, its just something shown in movies then you should look for the story of Mugheeth (RadhiAllahu Anhu).

I keep making decisions of going away from her but I keep falling for her over and over again. And its been since time immemorial that I've wanted to live Islam. Actually live with the deen 24x7. InshAllah, things will get better for me. Thanks for all the advice.

Any more advice and comments are seriously appreciated. I'm having a headache right now or else I'd have written a lot more.

JazakAllah Khair.

[mammyluty]

:sl:

can you ship yourself to me by post so i can slap the daylights out of you?

seriously, how old are you? do you think that you even have a clue what love might even be?

lonely? well, get your arse over to the Masjid! pray as many of your Fard prayers there as you can. you will meet, In Sha'a Allah, many, many delightful brothers you can teach you your Din and when you are ready, perhaps introduce you to a sister.

pain, pain? you only think that it is pain. your embarrassment level is probably higher than your "pain" level. go slam your hand in the car door, i'm sure THAT will hurt!



now you REALLY sound like a girl! SubhanAllah! go repent to Allah for being in a haram relationship. He WILL forgive you, be happy about THAT!




1) become a practicing Muslim

2) grow up

3) act like a man

you know, years and years from now you will look back and think:

a) Alhumdulillah that i never married that girl

and

b) wow, i was never that much of a p*ssy, was i?

seriously bro, i'm not saying that it is not possible for a woman to break your heart. i'm saying that if they do, then SO WHAT! because:

1) Allah decreed it

and

2) there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS someone better out there. you just won't go find them unless you first lose the 1st one.

so Allah Subhannahu wa Ta' Aala has done you an immense favor.

REJOICE!

and say Alhumdulillah!

:wa:

subhannalah these is very true......it is mercy from Allah that he is guiding him to the straight path n he should be happy he is among those chosen to be guided in the straight path.

indeed it is an immense favour from Allah!!!!

[ny_aish]

:sl:
Cheerzzz!!!! Dnt be upset!!! Let me tell u, 1 thing that I realized thru out my life is to ALWAYS ASK ALLAH FOR HELP.... u loved her, u may have 4gotten about the Love of Allah which is what He wants to remind you... you have to always believe in Allah and pray for better...maybe Allah wants to teach you a lesson there, or maybe you deserve better, or maybe even Allah wanted to stop the relationship there otherwise if it went further....she could have done something more harmful than betraying you. Be thankful to Allah at all times...
:wa:

[Hamas]

Assalmu Alaikum

Well shes obviously not worth it brother she trying to take you for a fool just grow some respect for yourself i mean yeah we've all been there but why you gona use energy to stress and hurt this that for a girl who dont care theres no point use your energy on something that would benefit you just be happy lifes too short :shade: