Racists what do I do?

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

[VizierX]

I was pretty badly racially/religiously bullied in school. It sucks, I know. Its been years and I'm still trying to get over it. Just try to ignore it. They're idiots and their opinions are worth nothing.

[Life_Is_Short]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..

They want to indimidate you. Give no attention to these people.

Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

You should have turned around and cleared away their misconception. We're educated women and no one has the right to say that. :heated:


Some people think just because your in hijab, you're oppressed and can't answer back, speak english etc. You should stand up to these people.

P.s: When i say "stand up" i don't mean start shouting and swearing. lol

[AhlaamBella]

Aww sis I really feel for you. I get in situations like this all the time and so do my friends. Most of the time I just ignore and turn away. 1 time I broke and answered back - I wasn't proud of it as it wasn't exactly a dignified response.

The best thing to do in situations like you described, is to turn to Allah in Du'aa He may guide you away in comfort, or give you th courage to set them straight

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[-Fallen Angel-]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way her them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

Salaam sister.

Don't be put off by these ignorant people who just assume the worst and believe what they hear. All they can do is make you feel more upset, of course this world is cruel and cold and so are the people.

You should do your best to avoid people like these, these are the types of people who look down on others but themselves are the ones who should be looked down upon. But if you ever hear somebody say something like the man restaurant you should turn around and shut them up there and then. This is because these types of people judge others based on what they hear and see, and since they saw you wearing Abaya and Hijab, they just assumed you were a typical Muslim who had no education or knew nothing of society etc. You should always tell them to mind their own business, and you should be happy about who you are, don't let these people put you off.

I was once called a "Paki" among other insults and of course i didn't like it. The guy was with his friends so felt all big and stuff but i told him where his place was and he shut up. After that i felt more confident at replying back to people like him, and didn't really have any similar issues, although i live in an area which has a lot of Muslims, but this was in a more white-dominated area.

Anyways moral of the story. Tell them to shut it and ignore them. :statisfie
Hopefully you won't have to face such a situation again, it's not pleasent but we can't do anything in a Kafir's world. imsad

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

Unless the context is such that you can kindly, calmly explain to them or remove misconceptions, what else is there to do except to just ignore and be patient with it?

There is no need to argue, harrass, or feel you need to 'stand up' for yourself. At the end of the day - so what if they said something ignorant? They're only hurting themselves. There is no reason for you to be hurt, logically.

I don't see why you should give any care what any old random person on the street thinks of you.

[Abdul Qadir]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way her them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

just ignore...im sure u can't be bothered by that? dun let this sorta things affect u an atom..i used to be very sensitive to all these sorta things..nowdays, i just laugh it off...then again, what im doing is also wrong coz we are not supposed to look down on people..they dun have knowledge...thats y they are behaving in such a way...maybe because of u, they might even do a research about islam..=)...Wallahua'lam..

[SweetCherryPie]

I agree with those who said to ignore those type of people. I don't care what others think of me especially strangers cause that's just it - they are strangers, they don't know any better so who cares what they say or think.

[Zarmina]

I agree, ignore those kind of people. They are close minded, and don't care to learn and be tolerant of others.

[waqas maqsood]

Couple of years ago, i came out of the train station and this this drunk guy was talking gibberish walking just a metre behind... I didn't notice until he called a paki, start swearing under sun and insulted my religion.

I just turned around and he start clenching his fist... Believe me, I have never seen this guy before and spoke to him. And I was only 20 at that time..

I just grabbed him by the collar and my sister next to me start crying and pleading to let him go. The guy was still making racist remarks... I just punched him in the face..

10 minutes later, the police parked up, got out the car and handcuffed me without saying a word- I end up doing 100 hours community service-

Learn from this example; there is no point having physical contact. You'll end up in trouble. But now if I was in this scenario, I'll just walk away... But if it comes to religion... I'll defend Islam with my mouth, and the least I'll do is curse the guy...

[Uthman]

:salamext:

Are you sure it was racism? Maybe the first couple were just curious or confused. Maybe the other comment about the bathroom was a genuine misconception and they didn't mean anything bad by it?

I'm not saying that's the case. I'm just trying to look at things from a different angle.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Couple of years ago, i came out of the train station and this this drunk guy was talking gibberish walking just a metre behind... I didn't notice until he called a paki, start swearing under sun and insulted my religion.

I just turned around and he start clenching his fist... Believe me, I have never seen this guy before and spoke to him. And I was only 20 at that time..

I just grabbed him by the collar and my sister next to me start crying and pleading to let him go. The guy was still making racist remarks... I just punched him in the face..

10 minutes later, the police parked up, got out the car and handcuffed me without saying a word- I end up doing 100 hours community service-

Learn from this example; there is no point having physical contact. You'll end up in trouble. But now if I was in this scenario, I'll just walk away... But if it comes to religion... I'll defend Islam with my mouth, and the least I'll do is curse the guy...

Trust me I do not have the strength to beat somebody up. And besides im too chicken. ;D

Thank you all for your replies. I got it: ignore and walk away or "set them straight verbally in a civilised manner."
Depends who im with though, when im alone I guess the ignore and walk away thing is safest.

One of you responded that when its a stranger it doesnt matter much.
What if its a sibbling? My little brother, well not so little he is 17, usually calls me "jihad" when i wear islamic clothing to go out. Alhamdoellilah once he even asked me whether I was caring a bomb under my abaya. Well let me tell you this hurts even more coming from somebody you love. He presents it as being jokes but I cant see the joke in that. Very dissapointing seriously.:cry:

:salamext:

Are you sure it was racism? Maybe the first couple were just curious or confused. Maybe the other comment about the bathroom was a genuine misconception and they didn't mean anything bad by it?

I'm not saying that's the case. I'm just trying to look at things from a different angle.

Well I thought that as well at first, but then I see their faces. Those very despising looks make me think otherwise.

[Sampharo]

Have patience brothers and sisters, have patience and perseverence and don't return hatred and maltreatment with the same. Your rights and rewards earned are on judgement day and you will be glad your sins were expiated by these people's actions.

To feel better, just ask yourselves and remember: Are we even close to the torture and killings committed against the companions of the prophet? Not really, and maybe Allah just wanted to bring us higher through no actions of our own.

[waqas maqsood]

Trust me I do not have the strength to beat somebody up. And besides im too chicken. ;D

Thank you all for your replies. I got it: ignore and walk away or "set them straight verbally in a civilised manner."
Depends who im with though, when im alone I guess the ignore and walk away thing is safest.

One of you responded that when its a stranger it doesnt matter much.
What if its a sibbling? My little brother, well not so little he is 17, usually calls me "jihad" when i wear islamic clothing to go out. Alhamdoellilah once he even asked me whether I was caring a bomb under my abaya. Well let me tell you this hurts even more coming from somebody you love. He presents it as being jokes but I cant see the joke in that. Very dissapointing seriously.:cry:



Well I thought that as well at first, but then I see their faces. Those very despising looks make me think otherwise.

Sista, he's just 17... young and naive... May Allah give him Hidayah

[cat eyes]

:sl:sister i can very much relate to your problems that you face when going out of your home.

I was insulted several times from my own people and usually from tourists in my country :raging: but when they heard my voice and actually found out i was a citizen they backed off a little and looked really surprized

usually people dont know that i am from the same country i am constantly mistaken for a tourist because i do not look irish well thats what my friends have told me that i look french or russian :hmm: HAHA

i honestly agree with lots of people here that you should speak out against these people because as i said once they found out i was a citizen they backed off because they heard my clear English accent :p

just smile and be proud that you are muslim. never look sad or offended because thats what they want you know :)

All us muslim girls look beautiful in our islamic clothing :p

[★ηαѕιнα★]

:sl:sister i can very much relate to your problems that you face when going out of your home.

I was insulted several times from my own people and usually from tourists in my country :raging: but when they heard my voice and actually found out i was a citizen they backed off a little and looked really surprized

usually people dont know that i am from the same country i am constantly mistaken for a tourist because i do not look irish well thats what my friends have told me that i look french or russian :hmm: HAHA

i honestly agree with lots of people here that you should speak out against these people because as i said once they found out i was a citizen they backed off because they heard my clear English accent :p

just smile and be proud that you are muslim. never look sad or offended because thats what they want you know :)

All us muslim girls look beautiful in our islamic clothing :p

Gorgeous! Dolce & Abaya ;D

[cat eyes]

Gorgeous! Dolce & Abaya ;D

haha thats a good name for a retail store actually :hmm:

Anyways i think part of being a muslim is learning how to be brave also

just cant stand it though when tourists think they have a right to insult also

[S<Chowdhury]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

These types of story make me :raging::raging::raging::raging::raging:, though being rude etc is never the answer in this situation, I'd maybe try to point out they have been rude and offensive n set the story straight, most of them usually just get really embarrassed :embarrass after that.

[zana]

its really hard living in the western country these days but the think to do is keep your head up and dont let comments affect ur belief as u may know allah knows best

[Dagless]

Why did you find "they look like nuns" insulting? It was only an observation and related to something they understand. Obviously you are not a nun, but they don't know what your dress is called or why you wear it. You should also take into account that they are old. If they are native to Holland they grew up in a time when there wasn't any ethnic diversity. Its probably been hard for them to adapt. Unless they start insulting you, I wouldn't take it as offence... more curiousity.

The second one was an insult and you did well to ignore it. It might have been good to say something hurtful back though.

[SMA89]

its really hard living in the western country these days but the think to do is keep your head up and dont let comments affect ur belief as u may know allah knows best

It depends where you live in the west. I live in Toronto, Canada and it is VERY multicultural. Everyone gets along with everyone here.

[Musliman]

It depends where you live in the west. I live in Toronto, Canada and it is VERY multicultural. Everyone gets along with everyone here.

North America is generally more open to the Multiculturalism than Europe :)

[SMA89]

North America is generally more open to the Multiculturalism than Europe :)

Yes, which is a good thing. I dont understand why the muslims in this site criticize the West of being a bad place lol.

[barney]

Well it might sound trite, but if you study why we are of different coulur and creeds from a historical perspective, you can answer them thus.
" Hey Paki! Get back to Africa!!"

"Actually Pakistan is Eastern Asia, Regardless, You no doubt refer to the Homo Hablias our decendent who originated in Africa? Then indeed you should make your way there alongside myself"

This will utterly refute them. But it might ensue in a certain amount of kicking in of faces.

Rest assured, if you are in a & e with a broken face. You will still have been correct

[Maryan0]

If someone thought I was a nun I wouldnt be offended but that second comment was rude. It's always better to take the high road but I don't think I would have kept quiet in that situation so it's good that you did.
Salam

[AlbanianMuslim]

This reminds me of an incident years ago of a woman who came into my dads restaurant. She was complaining about how afraid she was because a mosque had recently been opened in her town. She said something along the lines of it being a terrorist training facility.
The way she talked though, was more ignorance than anything else. She didnt even know what a mosque was. She came in frequently enough that I felt comfortable explaining to her what a mosque was and that they are not terrorist training facilities like the media can often make them out to be.

You cant really change what these people think or say. However, if they bother you physically or verbally, as in they direct attacks to you. You have every right to call the police and report the incident. I have done so before and wouldnt hesitate to again. Sometimes people need a good swift kick in the rear.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Why did you find "they look like nuns" insulting? It was only an observation and related to something they understand. Obviously you are not a nun, but they don't know what your dress is called or why you wear it. You should also take into account that they are old. If they are native to Holland they grew up in a time when there wasn't any ethnic diversity. Its probably been hard for them to adapt. Unless they start insulting you, I wouldn't take it as offence... more curiousity.

The second one was an insult and you did well to ignore it. It might have been good to say something hurtful back though.

It was the looks brother, the looks. That gives a whole other charge to a message then when you read it here. To bad you couldnt see it really. :)

Well it might sound trite, but if you study why we are of different coulur and creeds from a historical perspective, you can answer them thus.
" Hey Paki! Get back to Africa!!"

"Actually Pakistan is Eastern Asia, Regardless, You no doubt refer to the Homo Hablias our decendent who originated in Africa? Then indeed you should make your way there alongside myself"

This will utterly refute them. But it might ensue in a certain amount of kicking in of faces.

Rest assured, if you are in a & e with a broken face. You will still have been correct

I have totally noo idea what you mean by this. Sorry my english isnt that very good. ;D

You cant really change what these people think or say. However, if they bother you physically or verbally, as in they direct attacks to you. You have every right to call the police and report the incident. I have done so before and wouldnt hesitate to again. Sometimes people need a good swift kick in the rear.

I wonder sometimes whether this will be the future. Whether theres gonna be a time where Muslims get physically assulted because of their religion.

[bluebell]

i find it really absurd when old people shout out racist comments.

in my town u get more old people being the racist ones than the youngsters here.

i mean its really pathetic i would expect them to be the more tolerant ones, once i was in town with my sister, and this old racist guy, shouted out to my sister (btw shes wears a niqab), "move, before I kick ur head of"!!!??

u cant really do much apart from ignore these stupid comments they make.

[cat eyes]

:sl: if i was called a nun i would be a offended because nuns do not marry and practically live an isolated life away from the real world

[Italianguy]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

Naisha, I would like to officially appologise to you on behaf of all Italian...restaurants and their owners (Only if they're Italian, if they're something else, i don't care, they shouldn't have an Italian restaurant).

Second I would lke to appologise on behaf of "People who call you Nun's ...people";D They don't know:hmm:

Just take it all out on meimsad. They are ignorant and don't understand.

I remember in Catholic school and church....the Nunn's would get you good for doing something wrong, my knuckles have huge scars from those rules they smack your hand with:raging::raging: and they had a paddle! you know.....for your rear:omg::omg::phew

[KittenLover]

i find it really absurd when old people shout out racist comments.

in my town u get more old people being the racist ones than the youngsters here.

i mean its really pathetic i would expect them to be the more tolerant ones, once i was in town with my sister, and this old racist guy, shouted out to my sister (btw shes wears a niqab), "move, before I kick ur head of"!!!??

u cant really do much apart from ignore these stupid comments they make.

is it any wonder they're kids end up being racist, I've noticed they love being racist towards woman more than men. what does that tell you about them :hmm:

[Dagless]

Naisha, I would like to officially appologise to you on behaf of all Italian...restaurants and their owners (Only if they're Italian, if they're something else, i don't care, they shouldn't have an Italian restaurant).

Its ok to be Italian, you don't have to apologise. Seriously though, why? It wasn't the restaurant owners who said anything.

Second I would lke to appologise on behaf of "People who call you Nun's ...people";D They don't know:hmm:

I would like to officially apologise on behalf of Gavrilo Princip for the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand (hey I figure since we're apologising... ;)).

[Life_Is_Short]

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

One time this old lady told me to line up at a bus stop. I was really annoyed by this because no one lines up at a bus stop so i told her to back of in the nicest possible way.

Was I supposed to listen to this woman? Absolutely not even though lining up is a good practice. She can’ tell me to do something that I am not obliged to. It's not fair and it's not in the law that I have to obey and that she happens to be reminding me. I would have lined up if she had told everyone to line up first.

These kinds of things happen a lot where I live. I've seen it happening to others with my own eyes. People like this; you have to stand up to in the best possible manner.

In situations where people are wisperhing to each other, i would suggest walking away because you might have misheard and they'll just think you're looking for trouble.

Don't feel down sister.

[cat eyes]

One time this old lady told me to line up at a bus stop. I was really annoyed by this because no one lines up at a bus stop so i told her to back of in the nicest possible way.

Was I supposed to listen to this woman? Absolutely not even though lining up is a good practice. She can’ tell me to do something that I am not obliged to. It's not fair and it's not in the law that I have to obey and that she happens to be reminding me. I would have lined up if she had told everyone to line up first.

These kinds of things happen a lot where I live. I've seen it happening to others with my own eyes. People like this; you have to stand up to in the best possible manner.

In situations where people are wisperhing to each other, i would suggest walking away because you might have misheard and they'll just think you're looking for trouble.

Don't feel down sister.

actually the law is your meant to line up.. you can look it up yourself whether your standing at a bus stop a train people cant even let the bloody bus stop they are always walking in front of it and dont give any care to any elders

[AlbanianMuslim]

I wonder sometimes whether this will be the future. Whether theres gonna be a time where Muslims get physically assulted because of their religion.

Future? Sorry sis, but it is happening NOW. Girls have gotten their hijabs torn off, slanderous comments thrown at them, treated unfairly at work, you name it it is happening now. You have to be vigilant and careful especially if you are a muslimah that is covered.

[AlbanianMuslim]

One time this old lady told me to line up at a bus stop. I was really annoyed by this because no one lines up at a bus stop so i told her to back of in the nicest possible way.

Was I supposed to listen to this woman? Absolutely not even though lining up is a good practice. She can’ tell me to do something that I am not obliged to. It's not fair and it's not in the law that I have to obey and that she happens to be reminding me. I would have lined up if she had told everyone to line up first.

.

Sorry sis, and please dont take this the wrong way, but it doesnt pay to be stubborn in those types of situations. I used to be EXTREMELY stubborn, if a woman had said that to me years ago, i would have told her to back up and NOT in a nice way but one of the things I have learned is that being stubborn doesnt benefit you in any way. I could be wrong, but i dont think this lady was telling you to line up because you were muslim, and even if it was what she said really wasnt THAT bad. Some of the older women hold fast to rules. They rely on them. She might be the type who feels the need to be the first one on the bus and doesnt want anyone to cut her.

In situations like that, I would count to 10 and take deep breaths. Not get angry or say anything, just smile and nod. If you didnt want to do it, just dont do it, move further from her.
Return unkindness with kindness, she will feel like a fool while you will gain points for patience.

Remember sisters, we must bite our tongues when we can. There are time where we MUST say something, but that is only when it is absolutely necessary. If you can manage getting out of a situation without saying a word, the better. Ignorant people WANT you to say something so they have an excuse to push you around even more.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Future? Sorry sis, but it is happening NOW. Girls have gotten their hijabs torn off, slanderous comments thrown at them, treated unfairly at work, you name it it is happening now. You have to be vigilant and careful especially if you are a muslimah that is covered.

:ooh: REALLY?? OMG...I never thought of anyone pulling my Hijaab off. I would cry of being soo shocked. I would feel naked seriously. Where does this happen?? So you know..I can avoid that place.

Naisha, I would like to officially appologise to you on behaf of all Italian...restaurants and their owners (Only if they're Italian, if they're something else, i don't care, they shouldn't have an Italian restaurant).

I remember in Catholic school and church....the Nunn's would get you good for doing something wrong, my knuckles have huge scars from those rules they smack your hand with:raging::raging: and they had a paddle! you know.....for your rear:omg::omg::phew

Sorry I brought the nun thing up then, triggered some traumatic events then. In Qoranschool they used to slap your fingertops with a ruler.
But the rear?? Ouch!
And ItalianDude its ok you dont have to apollogise, dont think the owners were Italian. The food was good though. Love lasagna!! How are you by the way?

The lining up thing sounds very like the slavetime you know. When black people were treated differently. Sit in the back off the bus. Walking round them in a big bow. You know that kind of things.

is it any wonder they're kids end up being racist, I've noticed they love being racist towards woman more than men. what does that tell you about them :hmm:

I actually have rascist neigbours. Got up to a point when their daughter was forbidden to play with my little sister.
When the whole 9/11 thing happened they stopped saying hi and stuff. Bought some huge dogs, sad seriously.

[Nokiacrazi]

:salamext:

Are you sure it was racism? Maybe the first couple were just curious or confused. Maybe the other comment about the bathroom was a genuine misconception and they didn't mean anything bad by it?

I'm not saying that's the case. I'm just trying to look at things from a different angle.

True, we can consider this. But yes from other posts it seems more like racism then anything.

Offtopic - I lived in Warrington!!

Anyway, the best thing to do, as someone said before, is to ignore them. They say things and act like this because it's not what they are accustomed to. Also we should have patience. Without patience in every matter we cannot hope to succeed.

"By Al-'Asr (the time).
Verily! Man is in loss,
Except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth (i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's cause)." [Surah Al Asr - 103:1-3]

[Life_Is_Short]

actually the law is your meant to line up.. you can look it up yourself whether your standing at a bus stop a train people cant even let the bloody bus stop they are always walking in front of it and dont give any care to any elders

It was practically impossible to line up at that bus stop. Firstly, because there were too many people at the stop and they were all taking different buses so you need to make a least five different lines for it to work. Secondly, the footpath was too small and it was busy which meant that it would cause problem to the pedestrians.

She had no problem catching the bus. :hmm: If she did, of course, i would have helped her.

By the way she said these were her "principles", nothing to do with the law.

[Salahudeen]

Me and my friends were waiting for the bus once and we wern't waiting in the bus shelter we were waiting on the side, when we first started waiting the bus shelter was empty no people waiting for the bus. By the time the bus came the bus shelter had a long que, so anyway when it came we walked straight to the front to get on it looked as if we had pushed in but we were there before all those people :p

this african lady said to us "This is Britain you know" cos she thought we were pushing in, we just looked at her with raised eye brows, my friend started laughing then we all began laughing, we just waited till the entire que got on the bus.

then got on.

[AlbanianMuslim]

Yea sounds about right sis, sometimes the elderly can be very difficult to deal with. Patience will go a long way with them.

[AlbanianMuslim]

Me and my friends were waiting for the bus once and we wern't waiting in the bus shelter we were waiting on the side, when we first started waiting the bus shelter was empty no people waiting for the bus. By the time the bus came the bus shelter had a long que, so anyway when it came we walked straight to the front to get on it looked as if we had pushed in but we were there before all those people :p

this african lady said to us "This is Britain you know" cos she thought we were pushing in, we just looked at her with raised eye brows, my friend started laughing then we all began laughing, we just waited till the entire que got on the bus.

then got on.

Ha LOVE that. One of the best ways to deal with that type of a situation, people feel incredibly ridiculous when they are laughed at.

[Salahudeen]

Ha LOVE that. One of the best ways to deal with that type of a situation, people feel incredibly ridiculous when they are laughed at.

I agree, if you rise to it and get all heated up that's what they want I think, when they see you laughing at them like you couldn't care less and your watching them make a fool of themselves they feel silly.

[Esther462]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

I've had old people think I'm a nun because they are not uses to seeing muslim women around. Some know your muslim and can be quite narsty and think your stuped. There are some people who are very nice, like the man at the bus stop last night, thought I was muslim, tell I told him and he was very plesents and thought I was a lovely lady.

[Life_Is_Short]

Sorry sis, and please dont take this the wrong way, but it doesnt pay to be stubborn in those types of situations. I used to be EXTREMELY stubborn, if a woman had said that to me years ago, i would have told her to back up and NOT in a nice way but one of the things I have learned is that being stubborn doesnt benefit you in any way. I could be wrong, but i dont think this lady was telling you to line up because you were muslim, and even if it was what she said really wasnt THAT bad. Some of the older women hold fast to rules. They rely on them. She might be the type who feels the need to be the first one on the bus and doesnt want anyone to cut her.

In situations like that, I would count to 10 and take deep breaths. Not get angry or say anything, just smile and nod. If you didnt want to do it, just dont do it, move further from her.
Return unkindness with kindness, she will feel like a fool while you will gain points for patience.

Remember sisters, we must bite our tongues when we can. There are time where we MUST say something, but that is only when it is absolutely necessary. If you can manage getting out of a situation without saying a word, the better. Ignorant people WANT you to say something so they have an excuse to push you around even more.

I was not rude at all but what you've said seems like a right thing to do.

Elderly can be difficult. :hmm:

[AlbanianMuslim]

Deff understand that you werent rude. Not at all what I meant, but elderly people think even going against what they say in a NICE way as rude. They are very sensitive as they get older. Getting old is terrifying for a lot of people and it sometimes causes them to lash out in odd ways in an effort to still seem strong.

No worries sister, :)

[cat eyes]

It was practically impossible to line up at that bus stop. Firstly, because there were too many people at the stop and they were all taking different buses so you need to make a least five different lines for it to work. Secondly, the footpath was too small and it was busy which meant that it would cause problem to the pedestrians.

She had no problem catching the bus. :hmm: If she did, of course, i would have helped her.

By the way she said these were her "principles", nothing to do with the law.

:sl:
Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister :)

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like :( lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ Thats OK. Had fun reading it! True about the family abandoning them. Us muslims would never allow our parents to go to such a home. We would rather take care of them ourselves to make sure they have everything they want and need. Koeffar people think differently I guess, too self obsorbed maybe. Here old people die in their homes and people notice their dead when they smell something bad. Usually after three days they notice the neighbour hasnt been picking up his newspaper any more. Sad seriously. Getting a bit off topic btw:D

[Life_Is_Short]

:sl:
Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister :)

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like :( lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

Sorry to hear your loss sister. imsad May Allah grant her paradise.

I understand what you mean. I've been to an elderly home too. It's sad the way their children just leave them and refuse to look after them.imsad

[Musliman]

:sl:
Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister :)

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like :( lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

I am deeply sorry to hear this cat eyes, I hope Allah grant her Paradise inchallah, keep praying for her imsad

[AlbanianMuslim]

I hope no one is assuming that I am putting down the elderly or looking down on them. I spend more time with the elderly than girls my own age! But, there ARE some who are hard to handle for younger people. Not because they are bad people, but a person who is 80 sees things differently than someone who is 18. Thats why I hope people will find patience with someone who they are older than or younger than.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Sorry to hear your loss sister. imsad May Allah grant her paradise.

I understand what you mean. I've been to an elderly home too. It's sad the way their children just leave them and refuse to look after them.imsad

Inshallah ameen! Sorry forgot to comment on that. :hmm:

[Snowflake]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

:sl: I think the first incident wasn't meant to be offensive. The second was a jibe at your being a muslim. But nasty people can't take anything away from a muslim by being nasty. A believer will always be better than them. Frankly you shouldn't care about either in any way at all. Personally, I worry more about how our own muslim brothers and sisters treat each other. :hmm: