Abaya

[anonymous]

Assalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters, I am writing in a very worried mood. My husband keeps telling me that he doesn't like me wearing an abaya. He says that it is only necessary to dress modestly, he wants me to wear pants and suit and cover hair. He says I look orthodox in an abaya and wants me to look smart. This has reached a point where he shouts and tells me that I am being stubborn in the way I dress and he doesn't want to live with me anymore. I am really worried, please advise.

[KittenLover]

I can't understand why he would want that :s does he mean in public he wants you to dress like that?

[anonymous]

Yes, that is the way he wants me to dress in public so I look smart. He says it is my duty to obey him.

[happy]

it is your duty to obey him when he is not disobeying Allah.Hijab is wajib upon you sis and it is order from Allah so in this matter you don't obey your husband because there is no disobience to the creation when it involves disobedience to the creator. It doesn't matter how you look like cuz Allah loves you the way your and hijab only make you beautiful.

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[HopeFul]

This happened to me for around 4 years!! Alhamdolillah he prefers for me to wear abaya now, I think though, that some men are so head strong that it may ruin your relationship. Consult a religious elder who knows you both

[Musliman]

it is your duty to obey him when he is not disobeying Allah.Hijab is wajib upon you sis and it is order from Allah so in this matter you don't obey your husband because there is no disobience to the creation when it involves disobedience to the creator. It doesn't matter how you look like cuz Allah loves you the way your and hijab only make you beautiful.

I was wondering the same actually because Islam asks women to obey their husband but here she wants to be more religious, may I ask you, do you cover your face as well ?

[Lonely Gal]

i dont see why you should listen to him when you a doing a good thing in Islam.. its great to hear someone how the courage and strength to wear this. Many people do not due to comments people make etc. In a relationship its not a must u listen to ur husband on things like this. You want to stay covered in a manner which is more than appropriate, why should you change that about yourself??

[anonymous]

I suggested to him that we both consult a knowlegeable third person, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone about this and either I do as he wishes or do as I please against his wishes. I am not going to stop wearing abaya and may Allah keep it like that. My only doubt was if I was disobeying him when he says that I could cover and dress modestly, but in a suit and pant.

I do not cover my face.

[tigerkhan]

what i can say in this matter by my low knowledge is.....
actually this depend on the situation of ur relations....so what i suggest is IF there is very close and deep love b/w u, then try to compromise.... make dua for him in Namaz and Tahajud but dont spoil ur relation with him....these are small matters so in very small time they will end.... dont let them to make a big problem....
u see (i am talking of our country) govt has made mandatery for all to make NID (national identity card) for which u must have to take ur photo, but Ulmma says, just go for it, and make istaghfaar, bcz we have no other option.
if i remember right, there is also a story in time of NABI (PBUH). one suhabi (RA) came to NABI (SA) and complain about her wife,s character. NABI (SA) dont leave her if U love her deeply.....i hope u got bcz NABI (SA) knows if he get seperated to his wife then he will suffer much which will loss his dunai and ahhra both....
this is just my view with my limited knowldge, so its better u may also consult some1 knows u both and can resolve this issue.
but what i suggest is dont spoil ur relation due to this small issue..... try to compromise and resolve.

[tigerkhan]

one thing more....i blv LOVE has much power. try to win his heart, then he will obey all what u say. but in start u have to bit sacrifice.....do care him much...and try to gain his confidence....i hope u got what i want to say.

[cat eyes]

:sl: i dont know but its just a guess, maybe hes afraid you will be attacked or harassed by some ignorant fools on the road. hes probably seen it happen before so hes afraid for his wife and dose not want to keep looking over his shoulder.

has he ever mentioned this? or is it just about being ashamed to be seen with yo u in it?
Tell your husband that you dont want to resemble a disbeliever and you want to dress like a proper muslimah this is what we were told anyway not to imitate the disbeliever

okay this part where he dose not want to speak with a third person about this is very selfish indeed. you should take him to a scholar so he can give him a long lecture about this about why its important for you to dress like a muslimah