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AnonymousPoster
02-25-2010, 05:17 PM
Assalamualaikum..!

I have a friend who is in love with someone. She is basically a good Muslim and a Hijabi too. But something which started as a teenage infatuation has grown a long way. She had stopped contact with him for 2 years but now having passed out of high school and being in a co-education college has brought her back in contact with him. They just talk to each other regularly and meet sometimes too and dont have any wrong intentions. They plan to get married too.But I am not sure whether the guy is serious about her or not. Moreover I am afraid if my friends parents come to know about it they may be really hurt. I want to convince her out of this but it seems the adage love is blind is too strong. Please suggest me about how I should convince her.
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cat eyes
02-26-2010, 01:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Assalamualaikum..!

I have a friend who is in love with someone. She is basically a good Muslim and a Hijabi too. But something which started as a teenage infatuation has grown a long way. She had stopped contact with him for 2 years but now having passed out of high school and being in a co-education college has brought her back in contact with him. They just talk to each other regularly and meet sometimes too and dont have any wrong intentions. They plan to get married too.But I am not sure whether the guy is serious about her or not. Moreover I am afraid if my friends parents come to know about it they may be really hurt. I want to convince her out of this but it seems the adage love is blind is too strong. Please suggest me about how I should convince her.
any guy who meets with a girl alone or persuades her to meet alone has BAD INTENTIONS thats clear to see. humm they are hoping to marry soon, why hasen he not proposed already? convince her to marry him soon if both of them are that serious about each other, if they don't want that then they are sinning by meeting alone and crossing the limits.

Tell her this will have serious Consequences in the end if she takes this to far.

He might be only after to commit haraam with her and not really serious about her if he was serious about her he'd want to marry her in a heart beat
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Dagless
02-26-2010, 02:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
They plan to get married too.But I am not sure whether the guy is serious about her or not.
Why do you need to be sure of anything? Is he intending to marry you? Who cares if you're convinced or not? The information she has is much better than the information you have.
Your friend obviously knows what is right and wrong. Your job is to inform her of the facts, that is all. The decision is hers, not yours.
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Asiyah3
02-26-2010, 02:32 PM
If it's serious let him approach her wali.
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KittenLover
02-26-2010, 02:38 PM
well you can test to see if he is serious by asking him to speak to her wali about marriage, and get engaged. if he really loves her as you say he will get happy at this if he's just messing around he will get angry at this and make her feel like she has done something wrong.
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★ηαѕιнα★
02-26-2010, 09:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by KittenLover
well you can test to see if he is serious by asking him to speak to her wali about marriage, and get engaged. if he really loves her as you say he will get happy at this if he's just messing around he will get angry at this and make her feel like she has done something wrong.
Thats actually a good one! Just test him, when your friend notices he is taking his distance then you will know whats up. Then it should be obvious for her as well he has no good intentions with her. She needs to snap out of that lovebuzz shes in right now. When this happens she will be hurt as well. You as a friend should prepare for that, lots of crying will be done :)
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Innocent Soul
03-01-2010, 12:24 PM
Actually she is blindly in love, she doesnt want to talk about it. When I tell her, it is a sin. She is like we are not doing anything wrong. Others do worse stuff. Both of them are studying presently and hence there aren't any chances of getting married soon. I just want to convince her to stop this. Whether its serious or not is another issue, first of all its a disobedience to parents. Please give me advice on how I should convince her to stop this?
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zana
03-01-2010, 12:27 PM
is there no chance of u sitting her down and having a one to one conversation, sometimes its harder wen there being lectured its more easier wen there talked to
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