Is crying Good for you?

[جوري]

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Tears and the processing of emotional hurt

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References

It is a widespread belief in the western world that crying is therapeutic and also the converse, that failure to cry is a danger to our health. Randolph Cornelius (1986) systematically analysed the content of popular articles on weeping in the press from 1850 to 1985 and found a major theme was that crying was considered an important means of releasing physiological tensions; if it wasn't released, it would find an outlet in some other way, such as affecting the person's body and possibly causing disease. 94% of articles recommended letting tears flow.
Psychotherapists and counsellors from nearly every school or persuasion regard crying during the process of therapy as constructive rather than destructive, though there may be some exceptions to this general rule such as depression, some neuropsychological conditions and manipulative crying. Sometimes a patient enters the therapy office for the first session and may cry with relief within minutes in the presence of the therapist, who is effectively a total stranger. Often patients who cry during sessions whilst talking about subjects of crucial emotional importance to them, spontaneously say how much better they feel or may report in the next session how they were upset at the time but felt much better afterwards. Whereas in normal life people may try to steer others away from crying, in therapy the psychologist often steers into crying.
From a biological perspective three kinds of tears are distinguished (Lutz 1999); "Basal tears" are continuous and lubricate our eyes; "reflex or infant tears" occur when we chop onions or receive a blow to the eye; "emotional tears" are psychologically caused. Frey, Desota-Johnson, Hoffman & McCall (1981) present experimental evidence of the difference between the biochemical composition of emotional tears compared to irritant tears. The protein concentration of emotional tears was 24% greater than irritant tears. The complex proteins in emotional tears were those involved in the human stress response. Frey et al proposed that tears performed a sort of physical catharsis, expelling toxins from the body.
A type of physiological catharsis was proposed by Efran & Spangler (1979). Following a period of sympathetic nervous system hyperactivity, crying is part of a parasympathetic rebound effect in which tears serve to discharge arousal.
Cornelius went on to conduct research into whether the belief in the value of tears was justified. In his review of the literature on crying and catharsis (Cornelius 2001) we are left more perplexed than before. When people are asked in interview (Cornelius 1981), questionnaire (Lombardo et al 1983) or through diary keeping (Frey 1983, Kraemer & Hastrup 1986), they report feeling relieved, more relaxed or in a better mood after crying. This held over a 29 nation study of crying (Vingerhoets & Becht 1997). However, when Cornelius reviewed experimental studies of crying, which usually take the form of showing a sad movie and taking measures of crying and mood, something different was found. There is very little evidence of physiological or mood benefits after weeping, sometimes the reverse.
So there is a dilemma - people universally report crying is beneficial but the laboratory says something different. Perhaps this simply reflects the difference between the laboratory and real life. The laboratory requires experimental stimuli that are objectively similar for all subjects and the 'weepie' movie is ideal. Stimuli need to be applied within a controlled time and place. In real life the stresses are personally meaningful and build up over days, weeks, months or sometimes years. They spontaneously come to a head; the person cries. This natural and personalised event is difficult to capture and study and the laboratory may simply be failing to come to grips with 'the real thing'.
On the other hand, it has been suggested that during crying the person experiences raised levels of physiological arousal. When the arousal returns to previous levels, it is experienced as feeling better (Kraemer & Hastrup 1988). In other words, the person does not really feel better but only feels better by a sort of 'contrast effect' with their distress during crying. In this scenarios all the self report interviews could be nothing more than self delusion.
So is crying good for you? - as long as you don't do it in the laboratory.
References




http://www.emotionalprocessing.org.u...0for%20you.htm

[جوري]

Pls feel free to express if you feel some sort of relief after a good cry...

:w:

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Whats makes you make this thread sis? Haha cry sometimes when i feel like it alhamdoellilah. Do feel relieved after. But crying enough doesnt do it for me, need my prayers and duas as well. I was wondering whether it is permitted to cry? Have an islamic book that states that crying is not encouraged in islam. Was wondering if anyone had some knowlegde about this.

[جوري]

I am curious as to whether folks feel relieved after a good cry. I don't know if people can just will themselves into tears? I think one has to be in a heightened emotional state.. I would like to know if crying them brings relief from that?

I would be interested in the Islamic stance as well, but I was always under the impression that spontaneous crying during prayer isn't discouraged..

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

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[★ηαѕιнα★]

I am curious as to whether folks feel relieved after a good cry. I don't know if people can just will themselves into tears? I think one has to be in a heightened emotional state.. I would like to know if crying them brings relief from that?

I would be interested in the Islamic stance as well, but I was always under the impression that spontaneous crying during prayer isn't discouraged..

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

No no i didnt mean the ones during prayer. I ment the crying when facing trouble, a test from Allah swt. I cant make myself cry when I want to btw.
There has to be a good reason for it, sadness caused by some sort of situation or so.

[جوري]

No no i didnt mean the ones during prayer. I ment the crying when facing trouble, a test from Allah swt. I cant make myself cry when I want to btw.
There has to be a good reason for it, sadness caused by some sort of situation or so.

:sl:

I can't imagine something so natural and spontaneous being discouraged.. unless it is for no apparent good reason.. as in someone who is acting and whining... I mean tears were created for a reason, and I was amused to know that there is a different composition in tears that come from grief to those who come from trauma or onions.. etc..

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[Life_Is_Short]

I cry when i am really tired and/or when someone is constantly annoying me. It builds up and i burst out crying. It makes me feel better. :) I cry even more when people keep asking me why you're crying. lol

[CosmicPathos]

I do not see how crying is discouraged in Islam? Is not crying the pure emotion that erupts from the depths of one's heart regarding the pitiful state of oneself? Of being stuck in life? I mean yes we can be hopeful from God for receiving salvation but the Islamic stance is that indeed mankind is in loss. I use that as my starting point and see oft crying as a means of getting closer to God. Being able to recognize that indeed man is in loss from every aspect, birth, knowledge, understanding, via crying is the only natural pristine selfless emotion towards God that I have seen in universe. Crying, tears and melancholy puts my existence in perspective to me: mortality and erosion from the sands of time as generations will pass by and no one will remember I once existed.

Crying also allows me to put disparity in world in perspective. Crying before God is the only way to talk to Him regarding what one sees around himself: murders, genocides, poverty, fragility of life, winter, spring, flowers, thorns, peacocks, lizards ...

Or unless one wants to take the stance that crying is an act adopted by us as part of evolution for clearing ones eyes? Then I do not have anything to say to that person.

[جوري]

^^ that was beautifully written.. very poetic..
Jazaka Allah khyran..

:w:

[S<Chowdhury]

Nope i never felt relieved after crying matter of fact i don't see it as a way to relieve stress or anything else as a matter of fact ......

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

I think crying can be a form of heartfelt intuitive 'dua' to Allah, where you beg for what you want without having (or even being able) to put what you want into words.

[جوري]

Wa alaykum salam,

I think crying can be a form of heartfelt intuitive 'dua' to Allah, where you beg for what you want without having (or even being able) to put what you want into words.

:sl:

that is interesting.. can it act as a substitute for du3a? sometimes one is to weak to open their mouth to ask Allah swt for relief and the best their beaten body can offer are tears of resignation...

[noorseeker]

Crying really really helps, it takes this weight off your shoulder, and i love the feeling post crying,

But i will never try to cry on purpose just to realease my stress , i need a geniune reason,

But do we have to raise our hands to the sky to make a dua,
Because im in bed lying down, tears rolling down, you make a silent dua
will this not be accepted

Is their a verse in the quran, saying to call Allah swt , standing, sitting lying

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

Hmm, I wouldn't quite use it as a substitute. I believe the sunnah way is to put your requests into word, right?

However, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to make dua in words at those times when you are able but then allow yourself to be overwhelmed with crying straight after. You can sort of just 'pause' that moment and stay suspended with tears in your eyes and have full attentiveness toward Allah while pleading to Allah from the depths of your heart.

[Italianguy]

I haven't actually cried in about 15 years....family won't allow. But when i did, all it did was clear my sinuses...:p

[cat eyes]

well when im taking alot of tension about something i cry and cry after crying for hours the tension finishes and i no longer think anymore. i actually become stone hearted for a long time:p

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
crying definatley releases tension and it is this case more so when dua is involved.

[Cabdullahi]

i find it hard to cry...i just don't know how to do it .. :(

[★ηαѕιнα★]

i find it hard to cry...i just don't know how to do it .. :(

Its not your fault. Its the jokingcells within your body that put a stop to those tears. Like a sheperd stopping his sheep from running away. ;D
Sorry.. just couldnt stop myself from commenting on that. ;D
Have you tried watching a very sad movie? You now like that verryyy sad ones about war or something?
Or about a mom loosing her child. Those tend to make you cry a lot.

[ژاله]

i think moderate crying does release some stress. especially when emotion keeps building inside you and you need an outlet. but when i cry too much, all i get is a headache and swollen stinging eyes.
crying is not worth it unless it is to Allah SWT..if not then it is an extremely useless self torture task.

[Cabdullahi]

Its not your fault. Its the jokingcells within your body that put a stop to those tears. Like a sheperd stopping his sheep from running away. ;D
Sorry.. just couldnt stop myself from commenting on that. ;D
Have you tried watching a very sad movie? You now like that verryyy sad ones about war or something?
Or about a mom loosing her child. Those tend to make you cry a lot.

nice joke! lol...i dont watch movies...when i feel sad i just day dream and contemplate...sometimes i get teary eyed but only rarely

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ Crying does help to keep your body's saltlevel normal. Drains the salt out. You not crying would probably save that up. Was wondering whether that could lead to any problems. Does anyone know anything about this?

Learned something today regarding this by the way. That the Prophet PBuH said: Two kinds of eyes will never see Hellfire. An eye that sheds a tear for Allah swt and an eye that guards safety during the night.
Dont know the chains of narrations though. Does anyone have the full version?

[transition?]

Yes, sometimes, I really feel like crying comes from the heart sometimes.

When the Sahaba (ra) were affected by the Qur'an, they would cry. They would cry in Salat or after hearing the Prophet (sws) talk.
I don't know if it is relief all the times, but it is sincerity many times.

[Salahudeen]

I find crying to be a great release like if something is bothering me it just builds up and up till eventually it comes out in tears. and lasts for about 20 mins.

I just listened to a khutba about crying and the imam was saying crying is encouraged in islam. And hearts that are hard find it hard to cry out of the fear of Allah. you can watch the khutba here http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/5019440

it is all about crying.

[sur]

for one, it keeps ur lacrimal ducts clean, conjunctivae lubricated & washed... :) oh sorry :laugh:

but weeping is enough for that, crying is kind of discouraged in islam.
Like when Prophet's son died he wept(while he had previously told Sahabah NOT to cry & lament if sb dies)... Shaba asked him that what he was doing,,, Prophet said it's mercy that ALLAH has put in hearts (i.e., he was weeping NOT crying, which was OK)

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^^Hmm so there IS a difference.

[sur]

^^^Hmm so there IS a difference.

in crying ppl might shout/lament/rant... while in wheeping it's just tears with sobbing at the most...!!! No loud shouts..

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ You mean the out load crying with using your voice? Like when your in pain or so?

[syilla]

aww...thanks. now i know the difference between weeping and crying :)

I'm just out of tears starting this year i think... :hmm: well...as the lab shows...it doesn't give me any benefits :hmm:

I just cry in my hearts :hmm:

[waqas maqsood]

Salam Alikum to All,

It's just so funny to read that many brothers on this thread accept that they cry.... :statisfie:statisfie:statisfie

Subhanallah,

I can't remember the last time I cried...

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ Yeah I was actually surprised. Thought brothers would avoid this thread ;D
Wanna bet they wouldnt have admitted to that in real life ;D
Maybe only Abdullahi but the rest? I dunno...LOL

[gladTidings]

Im the biggest baby ever. Crying (or weeping?) makes me feel lighter and somehow purer.

[Alpha Dude]

^^ Yeah I was actually surprised. Thought brothers would avoid this thread ;D
Wanna bet they wouldnt have admitted to that in real life ;D
Maybe only Abdullahi but the rest? I dunno...LOL

Is there really a stigma against brothers crying?

The Sahaba, may peace be upon them and Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihe Wasalam all used to cry so much to Allah. There is no shame if its that kind of crying.

If it's crying over silly things, then of course that's a different matter.

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ There is a stigma on it. Especially knowadays in Arab (and Italian!) cultures. My younger brother finds it embaressing to cry. Even my younger sister finds it embaressing. She once was crying about something and I went to comfort her and she just said (still crying): "This is soooo gay!" Really I was shocked and remembered her of the fact she was a woman and it was OK to cry. Even for men I find it OK to shed a tear every now and then. Personally I find crying brothers adorable really. No matter why they are crying. Its not horrible to show some of your female side. But apparently thats not done cos it doesnt go with the machothing. So. :)

[Karina]

Thankyouthankyouthankyou for this thread, it's really given me lots of material and great ideas for my psychology degree.
(Final year dissertation looming...........and so many ideas my head's spinning )

:thumbs_up

Oh, PS. I used to feel substantially relieved after crying - kind of little and often(ish)?, but now I only really cry once in a blue moon, like really cry.... and then I kind of feel empty and listless afterwards. I usually now cry out of anger and frustration but I suppose a good cry is better than stored-up anger - it's so unhealthy to keep stuff inside, bitterness and bad feeling, it's bad for the soul..... :cry:

[theblackcloud]

Crying is good for you mentally because it lets you unwind, and releases many toxic emotions in the process.

Although, I would recommend going for a jog or lifting weights, rather than crying to relieve stress and emotional problems.

[marwen]

It depends on what we are crying for :
- If we cry by fear of Allah, that's good.
- If we are crying when we loose someone, or when we feel very sad, that's ok.
- If we are crying about something which is not really allowed (romantic films, love, ...), we should avoid it.

It also depends on what we do or what we say when we cry : if we say big words or make inappropriate actions when we are crying, that's not good.

[GuCcI]

Crying helps me fall asleep, just get tired and then doze off.

[MicroSalma]

Hello,

I'm a latecomer to this thread, so I haven't been able to read all the posts so far. My two cents is that crying is indeed good for you, in general!

Not only do biologists consider such 'secretomotor' phenomena to be healthy and necessary, but psychotherapists deem it important as a coping tool.

But above all, it's just good to feel human once in a while is it not?!

Peace

[glo]

I cannot imagine living without crying ... I cry quite frequently.
I find that it relieves stress and tension in myself, and it helps me to express my concern and compassion for other people.

My husband on the other hand never cries. In 24 years I have only seen him cry once!

Perhaps it is still ingrained into our upbringing that crying is more acceptable in females than males. I don't know ...