I almost comit suicide thanks to this life!

[BurakOz]

Hello brothers! Im only 15 years old and i have more problems u cant imagine!
First of all i want to tell u that people have not been looking at me as a real person. They see me as a joke. Well it started like this.
I were popular in third grade. I changed school coz i were in 2 much trouble but people liked me when i acted like ****.
In 4th grade i had even more troubles than the previous school.
They said my grades are not good and i really need help so they changed my school to a special group. Here i am in the 8th grade. It has been a pain everyday to go there.
I can tell u its a looong trip!

It takes 1 hour everyday to travel there and i dont want to! 3 and a half years have passed and i lost contact with every friend! They simply see me as a coward scissy now.
Im trying to start in my old school now. Im there 3 days aweek and people find this out and they look at me as a joke. I want to mention that i only have 1 friend. Nobody really likes me now.

Everytime its many against me and noone supports me. It feels like this is gonna kill me someday! The scars will never leave me coz im only at home playing computer games while others are having fun and tells me i have no friends and allways argues with me. Im a troublemaker and its allways me who ends up in trouble. I feel lonely and i allways want to cry. Specially now! Today something really bad happened and hopefully u will support me. Well here is the story.

I recently had an issue with some old friends. I knew them from kindergarden. Atleast 1 of them but they keep calling me “Turk” and so on coz im a Turk.
This pisses me off so i choosed to call him “******”. They are both black actually.

Well i said i will beat him up and he toke the case serious and he told his friends. One of them said why dont u beat “Adem” up. A big guy. I said i dont want to, then this Lebanon christian guy said scissy. I said why dont u fight with me? This was supposed to be a joke and we decided to meet at a place the next day. I said i changed my mind and people called me scissy again. Everything looked fine until now. I didnt want to play a game with this “friend” he said dont play with others they dont want to play with u ****ing turk.

I didnt care really bu the situation grew BIG! We decided a place again and we agreed that only Henok and Martin was coming. Henok is a black christian guy from Ethiopia and Martin is christian from Lebanon. Well we agreed to fight 1on1.

I beat up Martin and then Henok came. He hold me and they both tryed to beat me up. An neighbour assisted me and stopped everything. He told me to go home. I did and an old friend followed me home. He got a call and they said we will be fighting again 1on1. We didnt coz he ran away but now they are saying that they beat me up but they didnt.


It was 2v1 and still they got beaten up. I prayed alot for many people so that my duas would be accepted. I prayed for myself aswell for many days and alot. I didnt use this Dua i said in Turkish that i needed help and guidance from Allah. Can i ask Allah to curse them? Will Allaha curse them?
I was the one trying to stay out of this. And i really need ur guys help.


I feel bad and that noone is on my side. Please show me that ur on my side and answer if Allah told me to do the right thing and if it was right of me to go outside. Even tho i knew they would be 2v1. Will Allah punish them? Please pray for me.
And I will pray for you! I got many problems and almost no friends that will help me. Pray that i will get friends to assist me and also pray for me that everything will go right.
Tell me ur problems and i will promise that i will make duas for u. Please help me!


The problems is more than enough! Is this a sign of Allah that i will get a better life later? I doubt so coz i wont forget this at all! What am i gonna tell my kids? I didnt have friends as teenager? There is like noone that wants to hang out with me in my area and im 90% sure noone will help me from troubles. Even tho many people salutes me. I lost an old friend.
I also want to mention i had an old kurdish friend named Robin.

Today he really used me as a toy. He were one of my closest friends in 4th grade but today he were about to kill me. If my neighbour shouldnt help i would be dead. Please help me. Pray for me and if there is anything i could do in return ill do it! I also want to mention that im a nice guy and usually i dont really care if someone calls me a ***** or something unlike most of the kids here. I feel like i entertain people by getting myself killed and in trouble?

I allways share stuff when people asks. I allways help them when or atleast try. I allways burrow them money. I allways try to stop fights. I send money to poor people when possible but still. Why? Im even afraid to go outside! Im scared people will gather up and beat me up. I cant forget today and i have a black empty spot in my stomach. It really hurts and keeps me on bad humor/moral.

Im on a very bad mood. I cant laugh and have fun! Im only worried about this! Please help me! People said this is gonna be very fun! Im gonna bring popcorn! Thats the part i feel really bad about. And also that they will tell everyone they beat me up and people will keep calling me scissy and worthless. I'm writing too much but i need someone to talk to.

Another story is:
My friend Atakan had loads of issues like me.
Everyone wanted to beat him up. Then a guy called Isuf heard about this and toke advantage. He called me fat turk. I called him fat albanian and then fight begun. Lateron he called for a guy called Salar to beat me up. He didnt but he were close 2.

Is there hope for me? We lived here for 15 years now and i dont think my parents will move just coz of this. Im very calmed when people is seing me. Before i wasnt and i think thats a reason why they make fun of me now.
Im going throu a very hard time! Someone has to punnish those guys and u heard the story and what do u think? Is allah on my side or theirs? Will he punnish them? Please pray for me as i mentioned many times. Reply if u do and also mention about ur problems and i will pray for ur problems aswell.

I also want to mention that there is nothing that im good at. Many relatives dont like me. They say im a troublekid. I have been thinking of suicide and an EX home. Im tired of living! While everyone has friends im at home playing computer games and has nothing to do! I cant go to cinema or anything! People recognizes this. They are saying that im online everytime! And people i meet on the internet even tells me that! They tells me i have no friends at all and thats the reason! How do they know?

My grandfathers and grandmothers is dead! All four! My dads father remarried. He died 2009 December. His wife still lives and shes the only one i got left. Shes alone at home and scared all the time. She refuse to even open the door sometimes! She allways asks us to stay with her. After this day i know this scar isnt gonna pass away! I dont even have friends to play computer with anymore. Im even alone on the internet.
Im only 15 and i allready get this "Lets start a new life from the beginning".

Is this normal? If Allah would allow suicide. IDK what would happen with me. I know many Surahs and i got some experience in praying and i can read the quran abit. I live in Sweden. Why do i get all this problems?
Please do something for me to calm me down and stop thinking about negative stuff! I dont want this feeling in my stomach at all! I want to jump from the window and try to forget it all but it doesnt work that way! Im angry! Im on bad mood! Im very depressed! Im fat and also many thinks im ugly.

I mentioned some things over 1-2 times. I dont know what else to say.
And i think we will never play computer games again together! I think that they will never say sorry and im pretty sure we both will never forget this. Even tho they will im 100% sure they will use this against me. Im sure they will say ur the worthless guy that got his ass kicked by us.
For example:
U suck! U are worthless. U got ur ass kicked by us!

I will be very greatful if i could get some help!
Im Really sad and i really want to cry! At the same time i dont!
We have holiday for 1 week and i have been wasting that time to look on internet how to fight. I also looked at some verses from the Noble Quran in English. I prayed to allah as i mentioned but did i do the right thing? I prayed many times. Did Allah guide me for sure and will this bring any good news in the end? I heard if u had a bad life u will get a better one later. Is that true? Coz sometimes people dont see my life as bad coz i live in a Villa and have a good computer and coz my parents allows me to have fun by playing computer as much as i want and so on.

This world is confusing me sometimes! I cant understand people!

Burak Öz / Stockholm - Sweden
Humor: BAD! Depressed. Sad. Cant have fun and only thinking about today and my life.

Hopefully i will calm down and everything will be fine! I will thank anyone for their advice/duas. And in the end i hope everything will be fine! I could need anyone to speak with me on MSN.

[abdul-rahman]

Asalamu Alaykum

Listen my little brother, know that Allah(swt) is always with you and that he is always watching you. You need to get the thoughts of suicide out of your mind because it is haram as we should never cause destructions to ourself.

And remember the verses:

And those who believe and do good – We do not impose upon any of them a burden beyond his capacity. (7:42)

On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. (2:286)

Just remember to be patient, and know these trials will pass.

So please remember this, and stay strong. Keep up your prayers and try to ignore all those people in school , just ignore them and close your ears. And please refrain from asking Allah ( swt) to curse the people that are wronging you . Make dua for his protection and for him to soften their hearts so that they can return from their errors.

I'm sure a lot of the brothers and sisters will give you more detailed advice insh'allah. I will keep you in my prayers.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum dear brother!!

FIRST OF ALL! Relax!! BREATHE.

I know you're very nervous and scared and are feeling very lonely so these thoughts going on in your head are from shaytaan taking advantage of you. Do not ever think of killing yourself, I know you are stronger than that!

One thing you must try is to control your anger. At this age, people are usually mean and they like to make fun of others and harm them, but you are a Muslim so put your faith in Allah and do not be scared of anything. Allah is greater than anyone in this entire world, so don't think He doesn't know what's going on in your life. You are Allah's slave and He will take care of you :) So control your anger and do not act like those terrible kids because your heart is better than theirs inshallah.

Secondly, I don't know if there are any mosques around you, but if there are, maybe you should try to spend your time there and make some better friends who will reminds you of the good things in life. You need to believe in yourself more, even if the entire world doesn't believe in you. You really can do anything that you want in life if you put your mind to it, so demolish those thoughts that you are worthless or are terrible at everything! The best role models are those who overcame the biggest struggles, and you're one of those people, you just have to overcome this struggle. Don't let anything convince you otherwise :)

Don't fight anyone and don't let anyone fight you no matter how much they make fun of you. The Prophet pbuh said that the stronger one isn't the one who hits the hardest/fights the best, but rather its he who can control his anger.

May Allah help you through your troubles ameen

Feel free to talk to all of us whenever you're feeling down, we're your brothers and sisters :)

You'll be in my dua's inshallah

fi aman allah
w'salaam

[Italianguy]

WOW! ......WOW!...

I pray that God will make things easier on you. So much to deal with at such a young age:cry:. My friend, why is it you have so much trouble with everyone around you? I grew up with Muslims, Jews, Hindu's and even........Roman CATHOLICS!;D...just messin...i was one.:p We never had these problems? We all used to play together in the streets in NYC. Stick ball, football (soccer for you non-foreigners) and we never fought...well, maybe if we argued on who was out first:heated: plus....it's hard to fight when 8 people are speaking 5 different languages:hmm:. I guess I grew up in a different timeimsad

Do you have any close friends that you can relate to? What about other Muslims your age at your mosque?

Don't speak about killing yourself friend, there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING worth doing something like that.imsad

Tell you what, if your ever in VA, come on over to uncle Italianguys house, I will let you drive the "rikshaw" and we'll play some stickball (baseball....i need to get with the times.).

God be with you.

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[Donia]

As-salaamu alaikum,

It sounds like you are going through a lot. Being a teenager can be tough masha'Allah. I suggest using this time to turn to Allah completely. Focus on your deen as much as you can. Make prayers, read Quran, learn Hadiths and even fast. These are things that can only benefit you.
I know it's hard but who really cares what these other kids are saying about you. If they say they beat you up, so what? You don't have any control over what they SAY or what they DO. The only person that you can control is yourself.
Insha'Allah you will look back on this one day and realize it wasn't as bad as it seemed.
Who really needs friends like this anyway? You should fight only to protect yourself and your family. If someone tells you to fight for nothing and you say no and they start making fun of you, then walk away. Who cares what they say about you. Focus on what Allah would want you to do.
Do not even wish anything bad on them. Don't waste your energy because being angry or upset is only going to affect you.
They probably have their own issues as well. You are not the only teenager who is unsure about yourself.

Lastly, please do not even consider killing yourself. When those thoughts come to you, say Adhubillah.
Remember after every trial there is ease.
Use this experience to your benefit.

La haula wa la quwata illa billah - There is no power or strength except with Allah!

Was-salaam.

[tango92]

thats story sounds familiar, anyway first you need to do this: put your ego away and follow Allahs commands. this means not falling for their provocations.

next you have one of two ways to sort these guys out

1. ignore them and hope theyll stop bothering you - this is highly unlikely to work

2. confront one of them in the school infront of every1 (away from teachers) and challenge him to fight you right there and then on the spot. trust me theres a good chance he wont fight. then you can gain some respect back. whatever happens dont let them dictate the terms of the fight, and take em on 1 at a time.

and you better get used to being a loser for a little while longer. focus on the things that matter, ie islam and education. when the results come in youll know that youve supassed the so called "popular people"

im talking from experience. May Allah help you bear patiently with your trial.

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

. Im only 15 years old and i have more problems u cant imagine!
.

as a bro alreadly stated , remember this verse :

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. 2:286

[north_malaysian]

WOW! ......WOW!...

I pray that God will make things easier on you. So much to deal with at such a young age:cry:. My friend, why is it you have so much trouble with everyone around you? I grew up with Muslims, Jews, Hindu's and even........Roman CATHOLICS!;D...just messin...i was one.:p We never had these problems? We all used to play together in the streets in NYC. Stick ball, football (soccer for you non-foreigners) and we never fought...well, maybe if we argued on who was out first:heated: plus....it's hard to fight when 8 people are speaking 5 different languages:hmm:. I guess I grew up in a different timeimsad

Do you have any close friends that you can relate to? What about other Muslims your age at your mosque?

Don't speak about killing yourself friend, there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING worth doing something like that.imsad

Tell you what, if your ever in VA, come on over to uncle Italianguys house, I will let you drive the "rikshaw" and we'll play some stickball (baseball....i need to get with the times.).

God be with you.

I live in a mixed neighbourhood and during my primary school years i have friends from different races and religious group... and we have no problem... we eat, play and learn together... maybe Sweden is way different than Malaysia..

[S<Chowdhury]

Everytime its many against me and noone supports me. It feels like this is gonna kill me someday! The scars will never leave me coz im only at home playing computer games while others are having fun and tells me i have no friends and allways argues with me. Im a troublemaker and its allways me who ends up in trouble. I feel lonely and i allways want to cry. Specially now! Today something really bad happened and hopefully u will support me.

Salaam Bro, so sorry things have turned out like this where you thinking of taking your own life imsad, like Italianguy said never ever even think about taking your life take that idea out of your brain now ! I know being a teen is hard loads of pressure from each angle and most boys these days have got this Scarface fantasy stuck in there head :raging:, starting fights ain't the answer try to diffuse the situation instead of hurling racist remarks therefore i won't blame those two African guys to wanting to beat the crap out of you, if your gonna hurl abuse expect them to take it seriously and wanting to fight you, who wouldn't take it seriously.

Okey stop worrying about what other people say firstly who cares about there opinions, you should stop following what they say or think......about the fighting thing no point running away from the situation, i'd advise just stand up to this guy, maybe he's the real "scissy", and if he is gonna fight you well just show no fear and give as good as you get....... but remember you should choice the location after school somewhere not to dense though.

Anyway Bro take care

[BurakOz]

Thanks for ur advices everyone :)

[waqas maqsood]

Subhanallah,

I might sound like an Uncle... but in our days, we never had such problems. I was 15 nine years ago and can tell you, I was so innocent and shy (well still pretty shy).. We used to play normal games with other school kids...

Brother, what you got to do is cool down and chill... Fighting won't get you nowhere..

And to be honest, I rather be alone than being with those bunch of naughty guys..

[Life_Is_Short]

Know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

^some great advice already given, follow it :)

[waqas maqsood]

^^ Sister above says it all 'Life Is Short'