The Faqeeh Thief! Awesome
Imam ibn al Jawzi narrated with his Isnad to Ahmad bin alMu?addil al Basri who said:
I was sitting in a gathering when a person came and said:
I was heading to the woods where I own a garden. When I got far from the community houses I was approached by a thief.
He said: Give me your clothes.
I said (trying to be defiant): Why should I give you my clothes?
He said: I am more deserving of your clothes than you.
I said: Why?
He said: Because I am your brother. You are clothed and I am not.
I said: Allow me to give you some money.
He said: No. I want to wear your clothes, just as you have worn them.
I said: So you want to make me naked and expose my Awrah?!
He said: There is nothing wrong with this (being naked if alone). Imam Malik narrated that it was OK for a man to perform Ghusul naked.
I said: But people will see me naked.
He said: Had there been people on this road I would not have approached you on it.
I said: You seem to be intelligent. Let me go to my garden and I will take off my clothes and give them to you.
He said: No. You want to have your servants grab me and take me to the Sultan who will imprison me, rip my skin, and put chains around my anckles.
I said: No, I swear to you that I will fulfill my promise, and will do you no harm.
He said: No. Imam Malik narrated that oaths given to thieves do not have to be fulfilled.
I said: I swear that I will not use my swearing to con you.
He said: Same thing, this is a compounded oath given to a thief.
I said: Let us stop debating, allow me to go to my gareden and I promise to give you these clothes out of my good will with no hard feelings.
So the thief thought for a moment and said: Do you know what I am thinking?
I said: No.
He said: I went over the cases of thieves since the time of the Prophet SAW until today. I do not recall a thief who stole something this way (by leaving a time gap between his attack and receiving stolen goods). I hate to innovate something into Islam which was not from it. I will bare the sin of it and every one who goes by it to the day of judgment? Give me your clothes now!
[The Arabic text can be found here]