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AnonymousPoster
03-18-2010, 04:52 PM
Hey, i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.

The problem that im having is that i feel stress all the time, i find it really hard to de-stress, nothing seem to work....

I can't find a job, i've had a lot of interview but i just don;t get the jobs,
don;t know what's wrong with me.
I don;t really have any friends here and find it really hard to make friends. I move to the city in nov last year but im stuggling,
I live with my husband who is at work most of the time.

Im home alone, alot of the time, i don;t have any children. Me and my husband are having problems, to the degree where i think it might be my time to leave the relationship, i talk to my husband about my problems but they are still there... i dont know how long i can live like this,

I even started to self harm, i know it is wrong but it the only way i seem to control myself,

I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning coz i know i've got nothing to do, all i do most of the day is go on the internet, which isn;t good.

I came from a background where i have a larger extended family who play a very big part in my life and friends who are there when i needed them, but i've moved away from all of the things tht make me happy in order to save my marriage, which is still the same.... 'NOT WORKING'

Thank You
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-Fallen Angel-
03-18-2010, 05:33 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Hey, i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.

The problem that im having is that i feel stress all the time, i find it really hard to de-stress, nothing seem to work....

I can't find a job, i've had a lot of interview but i just don;t get the jobs,
don;t know what's wrong with me.
I don;t really have any friends here and find it really hard to make friends. I move to the city in nov last year but im stuggling,
I live with my husband who is at work most of the time.

Im home alone, alot of the time, i don;t have any children. Me and my husband are having problems, to the degree where i think it might be my time to leave the relationship, i talk to my husband about my problems but they are still there... i dont know how long i can live like this,

I even started to self harm, i know it is wrong but it the only way i seem to control myself,

I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning coz i know i've got nothing to do, all i do most of the day is go on the internet, which isn;t good.

I came from a background where i have a larger extended family who play a very big part in my life and friends who are there when i needed them, but i've moved away from all of the things tht make me happy in order to save my marriage, which is still the same.... 'NOT WORKING'

Thank You
Salaam sister
I've not got much knowledge compared to others here but i'll try to help best i can :).
Firstly, self harm is wrong, and you understand that, but you continue to do it. Now i know you think it gives you some control over your life but you need to realise that it will only escalate and get even worse, and it does not give you any control at all, that’s just something you believe.
You mentioned that you moved away to a new location away from family and friends, which is obviously hard because you are in a place you may not be familiar with and same goes for the residents. I suggest you visit the local mosque or another place which may have a muslim community, because you will find it easier find help and make friends. I must admit that just like you, I myself cannot get up in the morning because i feel the day is pointless and sometimes feel very sad and empty, but i find the strength to go about with my daily duties. I too am stressed most of the time, and it is hard to calm down and relax, but even prayer can help you calm down. I suggest you speak to your husband about your stress and the need for some company.

You also mentioned marriage problems, if you don’t mind me asking what are they? Is he not being supportive? Abusive? Something else maybe? Whatever it may be, you need to sit down with him and have a talk and if he fails to realise possible get in touch with an imam who may be able to help you. You mentioned it’s hard to get work, don’t give up just keep trying, inshallah you will find a job soon.
May Allah ease your situation and help you with your problems, Inshallah.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-19-2010, 02:35 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Hey, i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.

The problem that im having is that i feel stress all the time, i find it really hard to de-stress, nothing seem to work....

I can't find a job, i've had a lot of interview but i just don;t get the jobs,
don;t know what's wrong with me.
I don;t really have any friends here and find it really hard to make friends. I move to the city in nov last year but im stuggling,
I live with my husband who is at work most of the time.

Im home alone, alot of the time, i don;t have any children. Me and my husband are having problems, to the degree where i think it might be my time to leave the relationship, i talk to my husband about my problems but they are still there... i dont know how long i can live like this,

I even started to self harm, i know it is wrong but it the only way i seem to control myself,

I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning coz i know i've got nothing to do, all i do most of the day is go on the internet, which isn;t good.

I came from a background where i have a larger extended family who play a very big part in my life and friends who are there when i needed them, but i've moved away from all of the things tht make me happy in order to save my marriage, which is still the same.... 'NOT WORKING'

Thank You
:sl: sister jazakallah for sharing your concerns with us. Firstly realise that life is always going to be full of struggles, trials, hardships and hurdles. We as Muslims have our deen and should put our reliance on Allah because he gave you these trials and he is testing your reactions to them so you must bare with patience and NEVER question Allah and say "why me" because there are people out there with MUCH worser problems than you and they put their full faith, hopes and reliance in Allah for ONLY in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace and satisfaction. How are your prayers? Do you rememebr Allah much or read the Qur'an?

How can we expect comfort and peace in our hearts if we are not turning to Allah? We must realise that the purpose of our creation is not just to find a career, get married and have children but to worship Allah and Allah will make our lives easier for us even if we are tried and tested. On the other hand if we do not turn to Allah then Shaythan will have a big influence on us and as in your case result in self harm because it is Shaythan who suggests for you to harm yourself to make yourself feel better and you listen.

Why not listen to Allah and turn to him in prayer, remembrance, glorification and your heart will find peace and tranquility that you never imagined possible and you will find comfort whereas at this current time without the help of Allah you will remain lost and continue in a downhill spiral which will include harming yourself and shaythan will be your advisor.

So what will it be? Make your choice. Do you turn to the one who created you in prayer, remembrance and dua or do you continue getting advice from Shaythan who will eventually lead you to your destruction? The answer should be obvious therefore turn to Allah and committ your life to him for that is the purpose of your creation. He will bring peace and tranquility into your heart and he will bring peace and blessings into your life and you will come out of the darkness that your in now and into the light where you will find the answer to all of your problems.

Allah is the employer, for he is the giver of happiness and peace and true peace and happiness cannot be found anywhere else but with Allah! So turn to him if you want peace, turn to him if you want tranquility and turn to him if you want contentment which is the ONLY way to true HAPPINESS!


Almighty Allah says:"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction (Qur'an, 13:28)."

If you every need anymore help and advice then please don't hesitate to ask. Allah is wanting to help you and wants you closer to him so walk towards Allah and he will run towards you. Turn to him and you will get what you are looking for and MORE!


Here are some very beneficial articles for you:



10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...eir-lives.html

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...vy-scales.html

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ser-allah.html

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html

25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...ss-and-Anxiety

Dealing with Worries and Stress

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...es-stress.html

Don't be sad my Muslim Brothers and Sisters!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...s-sisters.html

Desires and Calamities

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...alamities.html


Please listen these very beneficial talks:



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg
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