format_quote Originally Posted by
Zehra786
everyone:sl:
What advice would you give a girl who has had a lot of hardships,trouble,stress in her life due to family problem.. with a father who dnt carry all his responsibilities as a father and as a husband.. a girl who everyday has to listen and see her mother and father fighting everyday... a girl who due to all these doesn`t have the desire as all young girls are happy and impatiently getting married to the one they are in love.. This girl due to all these problems in her life when speaking of marriage it doesn`t make her happy like all girls wud.. shes quite in despair.. but she`s always known her limits and had no relationship with any guy..
jazak Allah
:sl: my sister jazakallah for sharing this with us as this is a very sensative topic.
Firstly she should realise that she is not the only one experiencing these trials and hardships with her family as there are countless people out there experiencing much worse.
She should also continue being patient no matter how hard it is. She should try and talk to her father in a loving way when she knows he is in a good mood and explain her feelings to him. She should also try and involve a respectable elder in the family maybe to talk to her father.
She should also accept that Allah tests those he wants good for and those he wants closer to him. So she should look at the positives from these trials and tests because without being tested and tried she could not gain a closeness to Allah than she could do with being patient through these trials.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships."
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
She should also continue to treat her parents the best she can and make much dua for them for Allah hears her dua's and she can find comfort in knowing that she is being rewarded as long as she is patient and NEVER says "Why me ?" If she has then she should repent and be patient and reply and put her faith. trust and hope FULLY in Allah:
"...So put your trust (in Allaah) if ye are indeed believers."
[Al-Maida 5:23]
She should realise that her pain from these trials is a means of expiation of sin:
The Prophet (peace be upon him)said: "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it."
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is but the prick of a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on account of it and his sins falling away from him like leaves off a tree.'"
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
She should also not connect the bad marital experiences that her parents have been through with that of her own in the future. She is her own person and she should put her hope in Allah that Allah will find her a good and pious man who she will truly be happy with inshallah and someone who can help her towards Jannah.
She has done so well not to get into pre marital relationships and she should never get into one or even be friends with a guy. She should do things the right way and Allah will find her a good and pious man inshallah.
Whatever experiences have happened with her parents will not happen with her inshallah so she should not relate those experiences with that of her own future marriage situation.
She should not feel down anymore as she should think to herself that life is too short and that whatever happens will happen and that she should spend her precious few seconds in this life pleasing Allah, doing as many good deeds as possible and strive to get as close to Allah as possible.
She should realsie that her patience will be rewarded abundantley and that Allah is with those who are patient and the reward of patience can ONLY be Jannah!
Whenever you feel down just think of Allah and ponder over his greatness.
There is no place for despair because you are encouraged to have confidence in knowing it is Allah Himself who is in charge of everything, the All Seeing, All Knowing, and All Fair and Wise God:
… and for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out, and He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.
(Al-Talaq 65:2-3)
and all success is with Allah alone and ALL hearts will find peace solace in his remembrance and glorification.
:wa: