Wa alaykum salam,
How do I get my heart to accept what Allah has decreed for me I need a real solution I am so filled with anger and every time I pray I just want to burst into questions of why Allah, why Astghfor Allah. I don't want to behave like a kaffir person.
First step is to accept that this world is temporary and a test. You have to
wholeheartedly accept and believe this. Without this belief, you will never be able to let go of the bitterness that you have direct toward Allah for what you incorrectly assume as being unfair treatment. Conviction in belief is needed by us. We need to have a strong connection with Allah. It's no use professing belief if we are not going to hold on to it completely, in good times and bad.
When you have this conviction, you realise everything in this world is a mirage. Whether good or bad befalls you, you remain content. You don't be too happy when good things happen and you don't be too sad when bad things happen. You realise while such events have an affect on us, they are only there as part of a trial. They are nothing but temporary events. Nothing to get too excited about. Remain passive and calm whatever happens.
While desires to have good things happening to us during our stay on this world is a natural inclination we all have, they are not things that we should feel we have an entitlement to.
Everything we do have is Allah's blessing and mercy upon us and any of those things that Allah has blessed us with can be taken away at any moment, so don't look at other people and see them being given more or better than you.
I've seen it before with people, when they continue on this path of bitterness. They bring themself nothing but misery in every sense. They allow themselves to become misguided due to their consistent negativity and pessimism in belief and when somebody comes to warn or guide them, they are blind and deaf, as though they have had their eyes gouged out and ears cut off. Allah will bring misguidance upon you if you rebel against him and continue along this path.
You wholeheartedly have to submit to what Allah has willed to test you with. You be content with whatever befalls you.
What is your purpose? To build a happy life here? To make a name for yourself among the people? To have a good reputation? To have a big house and several cars? Or maybe even if you're a humble person, you just want peace and you'd be happy with that? Have a happy married life? Good children? Relief from all illness? Whatever it may be. None of this is what we should ultimately be yearning for
or thinking we have a right to. They are all secondary to our primary purpose, which is to worship Allah in the manner that he has told us to. You can do this worship under any circumstance, in good times or bad. So therefore don't get hung up on these issues. Ultimately, good or bad, they are all distractions that divert your attention from your true goal of attaining the pleasure of Allah.
The Sahaba, may Allah have mercy on them, would give their lives for Islam. Would you be able to do the same, if you were put in a position where you had to fight for your faith?
Allah is what we think Allah to be. If we make dua thinking Allah is never going to answer and think of him as this unfair being that answers everybody else's dua but neglects ours - by Allah, our duas will most likely never be answered. We need sincerity, conviction and certainty when we make dua. We need to think of Allah in an extremely positive light when we connect with him from our heart and ask sincerely and patiently persevere, whether he gives us what we want or not.
Believers should be doing this at all time regardless, but if circumstance is such that you can't do
anything about your situation, what else is there left to do but to submit, resign and accept what Allah has chosen to test you with? Isn't that the most rational approach given that you have at least an inkling of belief in Allah? Won't you do what he has told you to do at times of hardship?
Generally, when a hardship befalls one, I've noticed the first reaction is to curse. This is not how a believer should behave. Allah has said:
Surah Baqarah:
155. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."
157. They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones
Verse 156 is the famous one that we all know: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi' raji'oon.
Ask yourself, what is your personal goal in life? Is it to seek Allah's pleasure and pass this test that you are on, or something else? If it's not the former, then you need to
make it your goal.
Strive to strenghten your connection with Allah. Dua is an excellent method to achieve this. Consistently persevere when you make dua. You have to be sincere and talk to him as though you are indeed asking of a benevolent, loving, caring being that will help you out of the problem that you are facing and make it easy for you. Anything contrary to this then you're destined for failure.
Hardships are a form of tough love from Allah. Allah does indeed give the believers hardship in order to strenghten them, to punish and wipe their sins and sometimes even to guide them out of heedlessness.
Just 5 years ago, Astaghfirullah, I had a similar bitterness as you do. Why me? I always had good intentions and thought I was a good guy, why did bad things happen to me? I always wanted to practise Islam all my life, but I never got around to it. It was hardship that jolted me into action.
I thought to myself, all this time I've never truly practised like I was supposed to and things haven't gone my way. Why don't I for once do as I am told and see what happens? Alhamdulilah, my entire perspective on life changed. Things did get better. Although on the surface, I still face difficulties in life, my perspective is different. I don't think Allah is unfair at all. Now every single hardship I've experienced in my life make sense and I realise their importance in moulding my character into what it is now. If I had to live life again, I would want the same hardships. Even though at the time, they were very testing. So you see, there is definitely divine wisdom behind everything. I'd still be heedless now, if I didn't have calamity befall me.
Brother or sister, your bitterness is never going to get you anywhere and it will destroy you if you let it fester. Break your nafs. Stop assuming you're entitled to having everything you wish for being given to you. You're entitled to only what Allah wills upon you. Be patient and have conviction.
Look at the lives of the Prophets peace be upon them. They had extremely tough lives. They were the most beloved of Allah yet they were tried very harshly. I believe in the case of certain sahaba, they used to get upset when hardship left them, because they thought Allah was angry with them. That kind of approach to life can only come about due to strong connection with Allah and utter renunciation of the world. This is something we should all aim for.