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muslimsister1
03-29-2010, 10:07 AM
:sl:

Hope your all in gud health, my inlaws are thinking of going for ziyaret in the first week of july den they will go to makkah n madina, all together they will be away for 3 weeks, iv always wanted to go n do ramzan whole month in saudi, the thing is my husband has just started a new job in jan n he does not know 4 defo is they will allow him a full month off for ramzan so my hubby is saying that we can go with my inlaws, i dont mind goin but the only thing is its my cuzins wedding 24-25 july n i want to be there for the wedding, iv told my husband this and he sed its up to me what i want to do but of he was in my shoes he would not give up the chance of goin saudi for a wedding, it made me feel bad a little n i thot that what if Allah SWT punishes me for this? wht do u all think? im confused cuz im close to this fam aswell :hmm:

:wa:
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piXie
03-29-2010, 03:23 PM
:w:

whats ziyaret?

Btw why don't u attend wedding when the wedding date comes and go for Hajj when Hajj date comes? Why will u be punished :?
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Dagless
03-29-2010, 03:27 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
:w:

whats ziyaret?

Btw why don't u attend wedding when the wedding date comes and go for Hajj when Hajj date comes? Why will u be punished :?
Its when you visit places of religious significance.

Is it possible to go to both?

Why should you be punished? Umrah alone is not compulsory.
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Muslim Woman
03-29-2010, 03:42 PM
:wa:

Originally Posted by muslimsister1
but of he was in my shoes he would not give up the chance of goin saudi for a wedding,

I agree. I am ready to go to Macca and Madina and miss hundreds of weddings.


I don't think u will be punished but surely u will miss the chance of gaining rewards. Rewards for offering salat at holy Kaaba and Madina are much higher than normal salat.
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piXie
03-29-2010, 05:54 PM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
I am ready to go to Macca and Madina and miss hundreds of weddings.
Why though?

Keeping family relations and ties and accepting wedding invitations is also very important in Islam, so we should not disregard it if we can do both (i.e. attend the wedding and go for Umrah)



It was narrated in Saheeh al-Bukhaari (1164) and Saheeh Muslim (4022) that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘The rights of a Muslim over his fellow Muslim are five: returning greetings, visiting the sick, attending funerals, accepting invitations, and saying Yarhamuk Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you) when he sneezes.’”

The scholars divided the invitations which the Muslim is commanded to accept into two categories:

1 – Invitation to a wedding party (waleemah). The majority of scholars said that it is obligatory to accept such an invitation, unless there is a legitimate shar’i excuse – some such excuses will be mentioned below, in sha Allaah. The evidence (daleel) that it is obligatory to accept these invitations is the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari (4779) and Muslim (2585) from Abu Hurayrah, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The worst kind of food is the food of a wedding feast that is withheld from those who would come and to which people are invited who mayrefuse it. Whoever does not accept the invitation has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger.”

2 – Invitation to various kinds of gatherings other than wedding-feasts. The majority of scholars say that accepting these invitations is mustahabb, and no one differed from that apart from some of the Shaafa’is and Zaahiris, who said it is obligatory. If we say that it is strongly mustahabb that is close enough. And Allaah knows best.

But the scholars have stipulated conditions for accepting an invitation; if these conditions are not met then it is not obligatory or mustahabb to accept the invitation, rather it may be haraam to attend. These conditions were summed up by Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen, who said:

1- There should be nothing objectionable (munkar) in the place where the party etc. is to be held. If there is something objectionable and it is possible to remove it, then it is obligatory to attend for two reasons: to accept the invitation and to change the objectionable thing. If it is not possible to remove it then it is haraam to attend.

2- The person who invited him should not be someone whom it is obligatory or Sunnah to forsake (such as one who openly commits immoral actions or sin, where forsaking him may be of benefit in bringing about his repentance).

3- The person who invited him should be a Muslim. If he is not, then it is not obligatory to accept the invitation, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The rights of a Muslim over his fellow Muslim are five…”

4- The food offered should be permissible for us to eat.

5- Accepting the invitation should not lead to ignoring a more important duty; if that is the case then it is haraam to accept the invitation.

6- It should not cause any trouble to the person who is invited. For example, if he needs to travel or to leave his family who need him there, and so on. (al-Qawl al-Mufeed, 3/111).

Some scholars added:

7- If the host issued a general invitation, saying that everyone is welcome, then it is not obligatory to accept the invitation.
can read the rest here: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/22006
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Tilmeez
03-29-2010, 06:12 PM
I wonder why its difficult for you to decide.

If I were you I would try talking to inlaws for a change so that I could attend the marriage too. If it does not work then Umrah is first priority.

Marriage will be OK without you but who knows you will get another chance in all your life.
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piXie
03-29-2010, 06:43 PM
Originally Posted by Tilmeez
I wonder why its difficult for you to decide.

If I were you I would try talking to inlaws for a change so that I could attend the marriage too. If it does not work then Umrah is first priority.
Yes, I second that. If u can't do both, choose Umrah.

Btw, if your husband can take you to Saudi Arabia ONLY once this year, and he is able to take leave from his Job during the Hajj days and go Saudi... then wouldn't it be better for u go during the Hajj days because Hajj takes priority over Umrah as its the 5th Pillar (If u havent already performed it before).

However, u know ur circumstances better than we do. Hope u make the best decision.. :D
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marwen
03-29-2010, 07:51 PM
I think you shoudn't panic. there can't be punishment because the Umrah is not a fardh, and if you miss it you will not be punished. And if you opt for the Umrah and miss the wedding it will be ok also, you can congratulate your cousins' wedding later, after the wedding is finished. So as your husband said, it's up to you, and whatever you choose it will be ok I think.
But if you ask me for my personal opinion, I prefer that you go to umrah with your husband and share with him this great ibadah in the holy place of makkah. Although he let you the choice to go with him or not, I think if you go with him you will make him happy : I think your husband's will is more important for you.
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Muslim Woman
03-30-2010, 12:51 AM
:sl:

Originally Posted by piXie
Why though?

Keeping family relations and ties and accepting wedding invitations is also very important in Islam,

I know but If there is option to chosse one between 2 ( visiting Macca and Madina and attend wedding ) , I won't hesitate for one second to go to Macca and Madina.

I can congratulate my cousin in advance , give him/her a nice present now and promise that I will offer special salat for him/her while at Macca , Madina. Also , now a days , marraiage ceremonies are full of anti - Islamic activities , I really dont feel comfortable going there . In an open stage , bride sits in front of all without proper hijab , guests ( both men and women ) sit and eat together , band party comes and guests start dancing yak .
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piXie
03-30-2010, 09:40 AM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
:sl:
I know but If there is option to chosse one between 2 ( visiting Macca and Madina and attend wedding ) , I won't hesitate for one second to go to Macca and Madina.
lol yea, no hesitation there.... esp. if never been before. imsad

I can congratulate my cousin in advance , give him/her a nice present now and promise that I will offer special salat for him/her while at Macca , Madina. Also , now a days , marraiage ceremonies are full of anti - Islamic activities , I really dont feel comfortable going there . In an open stage , bride sits in front of all without proper hijab , guests ( both men and women ) sit and eat together , band party comes and guests start dancing yak .
True, but not all. My cousins getting married, all halal. Wish I was there :'(

Anyways, enough posts by me on this thread. Im off.
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muslimsister1
03-31-2010, 08:50 AM
:sl:

Jazakallah all for your replies, i know umrah is not fardh, i have already been for hajj and also been for umrah with my husband after we got married, this trip will include goin to palestine, syria n place like that n that is why my husband wants to go wiv them. this trip will only happen if my husband does not get leave for ramzan cuz that is the time when we ideally want to go for umrah. I know the wedding will happen with or without me, but i feel as though the date for the wedding has been fixed for sme tme, i cant do both cuz ther mite be a chance that i mite not be bak in time as it all depends on the booking.

Mayb i am stressing for no resn, guess thats jst the way i am.

Jazakallah once again. May Allah SWT reward you all for your efforts.

:wa:
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